They won't sweep you because you are at 2cm? I had a sweep at 1cm. A good 30 hours after I did that, I started going into labour. We are all different, I know. Well....crossing fingers for you!!! Good luck!
Thank you everyone!! It was too late to get in today, so it looks like I’ll have to wait until my appointment on Monday. Yeah, she said the baby was still pretty high up so it’d be hard to reach to strip my membranes and didn’t want to cause discomfort if it wasn’t likely to help yet. I’m praying I can go on my own this weekend. I went to the chiropractor and begged him to make sure my spine wasn’t slowing things down. We’ll see!
Thank you ladies!! I’ll write out my birth story soon and share it. It was a crazy time! We were in the hospital for less than 2 hours before she was born.
I feel a little like a bad mom today- DD who is 4- wanted to help cook dinner tonight because she says baby brother gets a lot of my attention and since dad was home she needed to spend time. We made tacos which just ended up her putting stuff in bowls but she had fun and can’t stop talking about it.
Hi, I just introduced myself on the UO/FF thread as a lurker/original April mom, so hoping it’s ok to post here too...
I am just wondering if any other STM’s are struggling with guilt and anxiety related to their older child. My DD, who will be 2 at the end of this month, seems to be handling having a new baby just fine but I can’t help getting stressed/anxious about her not getting enough attention and love from me and me being able to be as good of a mom to her now as I have been before baby. I’ve cried a few times about it. It’s like I had this baby and now she seems different to me. Not that I love her any different, but she’s suddenly not a “baby” anymore even though she was when i went to the hospital to have DS(in my mind at least she was). We sent her to daycare twice this week and I plan to keep sending her throughout my maternity leave because I want her to stay in her routine as much as possible and she has fun at daycare. When she is gone though I feel sad and awful that she’s not home with me. I’m hoping this decreases in the next week or so, as I know the first two weeks are typically the hardest emotionally, at least they were for me the first time. I forgot how much these postpartum hormones can mess with me. I logically know that she is fine, she likes playing with her dad and I’ve spent as much time with her as possible but I still feel bad.
@allen4tl totally normal. I posted about DD telling me she needed more time and she would like to help make dinner from now on to spend time with me(she’s 4). She thought it was the greatest just putting things in bowls and talking. I had asked her several times if she was getting enough attention and she said yes but apparently not. Just make sure to take time with her while baby is sleeping. It’s the little things that matter to them. I wouldn’t worry about the daycare thing too much. She probably is loving it and it’s just hard on you. I totally get the when you went to the hospital she was still a baby thing. Don’t beat yourself up too much it’s hard to figure out the balance at first.
What you are feeling is normal. My oldest was much older when I had my daughter and I didn't really experience too much guilt. However, my daughter and second son are 18 months apart and I had several "oh shit" moments where I wondered if I had robbed her of her babyhood and individualized time. However, all that passed once the two of them started interacting and it was the three of us having fun together. The newborn stage is just hard with other tiny people that need your attention too, but it all passes. Today my daughter and second son have the best relationship and I am so glad I had these two when I did.
If it was me I would keep her routine of going to daycare. Do not feel guilty. She is having fun, being well cared for, socializing, and you are getting much needed time to bond one on one with baby.
If nobody objects I can start an invite over in April. Maybe we should do a roll call and reintro so we can all get to know each other. I don't want to overstep, so please tell me if this is not ok.
Besides that...my little guy is so hungry tonight. Yikes. I've decided that when he bangs his head onto my chest when I'm trying to burp him then he's still hungry. I can't really see his mouth because the room is dark and I'm half asleep but why else would he do that? So so so tired...and the night has just begun.
@allen4tl I'm in a similar place with my DD. She is 19 months and has some delays. I have times I feel almost guilty for having another baby and not being able to give her my full attention. She is adjusting to her brother fine though and I know they'll be great friends being so close in age. But there have been tears about this, especially during those first pp weeks.
Also, I wish I could keep DD in daycare a couple days a week for socialization and to give myself a bit of a break. Your DD will do great there or at home.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@allen4tl, You’re definitely not alone. DD1 told DH the other day that she is jealous of DD2 and my DH thought he should share that with me. I made more of an attempt to spend some one on one time with her this weekend (DH was working) and her behavior seems to have gotten slightly better. She’s just now 3 and is so used to being the center of attention- we live with DH’s dad and brother and his mom and her boyfriend live less than 10 minutes away and she was their only grandchild until DD2 came along. It’s an adjustment period- for everybody.
I’m also keeping DD1 in daycare- mostly to not mess with her routine but also because I worried that it would be too much to ask for daycare to hold two full time spots for 6-8 weeks without paying them- and I figured if I’m paying for the spot, might as well use it. I feel guilty everyday that she goes because it’s less time I can spend with her and I’m home but then I’m overwhelmed if she’s constantly here and nothing gets done besides the bare minimum- I went like 16 hours without any Tylenol or Motrin earlier this week because I was so distracted that I kept forgetting to take them.
Its totally disarming how much my view of DD1 has changed- but not necessarily because of DD2 coming along. My FB “on this day” feature was bringing up lots of pictures from each of her birthdays (she turned 3 last week) and I’m realizing that she really isn’t a baby anymore- she’s losing her baby fat, talking in complete sentences, and wearing pull ups full time. Time goes by so fast with our little ones. It’s so hard- but just enjoy the little moments before they’re gone and replaced by other milestones. It doesn’t take much to make them happy- just love them the best way you know how and they’ll be fine.
Can’t anyone recommend a baby monitor that has two cameras- swivels and tilts? Our old Motorola one doesn’t have the ability to add a second camera and the battery life is terrible.
I just got an infant optics too. I wish the picture was a bit better, but I like that it is antenna and not WiFi and in general I think it’s working well.
leading to a question...
When do you guys switch from sleeping in same room to using a monitor at night? We are thinking of switching tonight because one of our twins screams randomly at night while he is asleep and being in the same room is just getting really hard for me and MH, plus they are turning more on their own and getting stronger.
@vflux33 I think we started DD in her own room/crib around 8 weeks old. (Though we used a Snuza monitor, because I'm not sure I would have slept otherwise - I'd have needed to check on her too often.) I definitely started sleeping better with her in her own room - babies make a surprising amount of noise while they sleep.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Re: April Randoms
They won't sweep you because you are at 2cm? I had a sweep at 1cm. A good 30 hours after I did that, I started going into labour. We are all different, I know. Well....crossing fingers for you!!! Good luck!
@megpeg. - I try to use my nipple cream beforehand to help ease that awful feeling.
I am just wondering if any other STM’s are struggling with guilt and anxiety related to their older child. My DD, who will be 2 at the end of this month, seems to be handling having a new baby just fine but I can’t help getting stressed/anxious about her not getting enough attention and love from me and me being able to be as good of a mom to her now as I have been before baby. I’ve cried a few times about it. It’s like I had this baby and now she seems different to me. Not that I love her any different, but she’s suddenly not a “baby” anymore even though she was when i went to the hospital to have DS(in my mind at least she was). We sent her to daycare twice this week and I plan to keep sending her throughout my maternity leave because I want her to stay in her routine as much as possible and she has fun at daycare. When she is gone though I feel sad and awful that she’s not home with me. I’m hoping this decreases in the next week or so, as I know the first two weeks are typically the hardest emotionally, at least they were for me the first time. I forgot how much these postpartum hormones can mess with me. I logically know that she is fine, she likes playing with her dad and I’ve spent as much time with her as possible but I still feel bad.
What you are feeling is normal. My oldest was much older when I had my daughter and I didn't really experience too much guilt. However, my daughter and second son are 18 months apart and I had several "oh shit" moments where I wondered if I had robbed her of her babyhood and individualized time. However, all that passed once the two of them started interacting and it was the three of us having fun together. The newborn stage is just hard with other tiny people that need your attention too, but it all passes. Today my daughter and second son have the best relationship and I am so glad I had these two when I did.
If it was me I would keep her routine of going to daycare. Do not feel guilty. She is having fun, being well cared for, socializing, and you are getting much needed time to bond one on one with baby.
Besides that...my little guy is so hungry tonight. Yikes. I've decided that when he bangs his head onto my chest when I'm trying to burp him then he's still hungry. I can't really see his mouth because the room is dark and I'm half asleep but why else would he do that? So so so tired...and the night has just begun.
Also, I wish I could keep DD in daycare a couple days a week for socialization and to give myself a bit of a break. Your DD will do great there or at home.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
I’m also keeping DD1 in daycare- mostly to not mess with her routine but also because I worried that it would be too much to ask for daycare to hold two full time spots for 6-8 weeks without paying them- and I figured if I’m paying for the spot, might as well use it. I feel guilty everyday that she goes because it’s less time I can spend with her and I’m home but then I’m overwhelmed if she’s constantly here and nothing gets done besides the bare minimum- I went like 16 hours without any Tylenol or Motrin earlier this week because I was so distracted that I kept forgetting to take them.
Its totally disarming how much my view of DD1 has changed- but not necessarily because of DD2 coming along. My FB “on this day” feature was bringing up lots of pictures from each of her birthdays (she turned 3 last week) and I’m realizing that she really isn’t a baby anymore- she’s losing her baby fat, talking in complete sentences, and wearing pull ups full time. Time goes by so fast with our little ones. It’s so hard- but just enjoy the little moments before they’re gone and replaced by other milestones. It doesn’t take much to make them happy- just love them the best way you know how and they’ll be fine.
leading to a question...
When do you guys switch from sleeping in same room to using a monitor at night? We are thinking of switching tonight because one of our twins screams randomly at night while he is asleep and being in the same room is just getting really hard for me and MH, plus they are turning more on their own and getting stronger.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18