Great Big Shower Thread

millpe

AW your showers and share pictures and tell us about your experience! 

Let's also use this thread to discuss etiquette, questions, and ideas for our baby showers/sprinkles/anything else you might be doing to celebrate you and baby.

stlmegs

I am not really sure what etiquette is, but my mom/sister/friends are INSISTING that they throw me a shower/sprinkle for this baby.  They say that it's been 5 years since my son was born, plus it's the opposite gender so they really want to.  I am not a huge fan of sprinkles, but I also don't want to be rude when they want to do this so bad.  I thought about just asking them if it can be super casual...I'm thinking a BBQ at someones house so we can go swimming, etc. and everyone can bring their SO's and kiddos.  That way it will be a good excuse for everyone to hang out, and they can do whatever kind of sprinkle they want during that time. Is that a thing? 

cseley321

@stlmegs yeah that's a thing.  We did something similar on the shower for my first... I wanted to have a co-ed shower, so we just did a BBQ at my house.  The host still did all of the games, presents, and crap inside the living room and we had stuff like horseshoes and cornhole (beanbags) outside.  There were some teenage boys there and they were playing my husband's xbox one the whole time.  I WISH I had a pool, that would have made it pretty awesome

wildtot

@stlmegs sounds like my kind of party!

stlmegs

@cseley321  thanks, that is exactly what I am thinking!!  My parents have an above ground pool and my Dad loves to BBQ and hang out so I am thinking they would love to host it.  I just don't want people to feel like they have to bring us stuff, but if they are insisting I guess I should just shut up, huh?  

@wildtot RIGHT?!  If we're gonna do this, let's have some fun with it!  Summer is my FAVORITE season and I am always glad to have an excuse to plan a BBQ/Pool party!

cseley321

@stlmegs just ask your host to not include registry info in the shower invitations and make no mention of it.  I would still have a registry available so in case someone directly asks, you can point them to the correct spot, but this is usually the approach people take when doing a sprinkle and not expecting presents.

stlmegs

Thanks @cseley321 that is super helpful  

moguippy

I'm a FTM and DH and I decided we want a casual, co-ed shower. My 3 SILs are planning it (DH's two sisters and my brothers wife, all of whom I love dearly). I am the most socially awkward person ever, DH could is incredibly personable and could hold a conversation with a bowl of mashed potatoes, seriously it's a gift. This is part of the reason why I want a co-ed shower. Also bc DH is just as much a parent of this child and should get to celebrate as well.  My SILs were all totally cool with this. I told them not to have it at a fancy restaurant bc that would cost too much and to just keep it casual. No one has a pool so that's out though .  I thought all was well and good until DH let it slip that my mom is being a total B and thinks we should not have a co-ed shower because she is a traditionalist.  Thankfully one of my SILs told her that it was going to be co-ed bc that is what WE want.. and ya know.. the shower is for US and OUR baby, not her.  It's all fine, just disappointing to know my mom has to make everything difficult. And this delayed the invitations going out (shower is early April 28) and our very best friends won't be able to make it bc they will be away.  Sorry for venting. Oh and my mom let it slip where it is being held because apparently she can't keep a secret.

bearmomma1

My mom is taking on this task of throwing me a shower like her life depends on it. I'm so very grateful for her and her enthusiasm. It's her first grandchild so she is very excited to say the least. It's going to be at her house as she has a great big backyard that is perfect for hosting parties. It will be on May 6th. I didn't want a specific theme, as we aren't having a specific themed nursery. So she just went with pink/gold color patterns. She's including my step-mom and mother-in-law in the planning as well so everyone feels included (as well as some of her bff's and my aunt). This being our first baby and being pretty clueless on everything, I'm very thankful for a big shower to help out with things on our registry! 

morethanamama

Mine is may 19th. Initially my BFF was supposed to plan it but she lives in Florida and it's just difficult so I have 3 local friends teaming up. One of them has offered her uncle's place which is amazing because it's a huge home in a really nice neighborhood. It's co-ed and we'll probably have Mexican food catered. One of the ladies is a kick ass baker so there will be plenty of yummy treats. I refused a theme and also an intense "boy" feel. Like, blue is pretty and I like it but let's not have too much gender specific things around (trucks, robots, etc...). 

We are definitely not having games. Just a "wishes for baby" jar and maybe a guess the due date board. Hubby and I will also probably set up a couple of video games like just dance and Mario kart which are usually crowd pleasers. Have no idea about anything else but these are the directions I gave...also I feel like the guest list was out of control with 50 people...though not everyone will show up. We had 72 at our wedding, lol.

noideawhatshesdoing

My mom and BFF are planning my shower together for May 12. And it's not going well. Supposed to be a secret, but they both keep talking to DH about it and he doesn't know what to tell them so he tells me things. They decided on a vintage theme because I dress rockabilly/pinup about 99% of the time and also because they know I'm depressed I can't go to Viva Las Vegas next month. But apparently neither of them really know what rockabilly culture is because my BFF hears vintage and thinks Victorian tea (no, I hate that stuff), my mom hears 50's and thinks milkshakes and sock hops. All pretty funny because they both are so off base but I don't have to deal with their planning disagreements. I don't want a shower, but can't avoid it with these two so I'll just endure whatever they come up with. Stay tuned for pics of a Victorian tea sock hop mashup! It's sure to be a disaster!  Lol. Doing all girls because a co-ed shower means my mom and dad have to be in the same place and no thank you, that's horrible, they are years away from being able to do that. At least my niece will be there to be cute and open presents so I can try to keep my social anxiety in check. Thanks again to whoever suggested that previously! It will be a lifesaver!

Since mom and BFF had to keep the guest list for that shower small, my workout friends also want to throw a shower for me, again I'd rather not because I hate social things, but they want an excuse to buy baby things and either I go along with it or they will hijack one of our workouts and turn it into a shower. I'd rather not miss any of my workouts.

foxbaby2016

@stlmegs That's exactly what we are doing for our "sprinkle". For me, it's just an excuse to get everyone together, grill out, drink some beer/wine (well everyone except me) and celebrate the baby. Plus, my sister wasn't taking no for an answer so there's that....

My shower will be when I am between 36-37 weeks pregnant though....hoping I won't be super uncomfortable or it won't be super hot. 

This is a little off topic but still baby shower related....
My best friend is due four days after me. Her aunts are throwing her shower and decided to have it on Mother's Day. Typically on Mother's Day, my DH and I try to spend the day with our moms and then we let my DS "take me out" to dinner or the park or something for a mommy/son date....it's kind of a special day to me and it is also super busy. I'm a little annoyed that they are planning it for that day to be honest....

She is having another smaller/super casual shower for some work friends a few weeks after that that I can possibly go to...would it be rude to skip the one on Mother's Day? 

millpe

So my shower is currently planned for June 2. My older sister volunteered but I think my mom and another sister are helping. I also thought my guest list was out of control (60) but i have a huge family and not everyone will be able to attend. They are renting an event room at a local park. Knowing my sister she will go a little over the top with food and decorations but I requested early afternoon to avoid having to serve lunch. It's not co-ed because DH wanted none of that, and our friend groups are pretty separate so it's not like the guys he would want to celebrate with will just be the husbands of my friends. The only thing i requested was to have a diaper raffle. One of my friends did this and didn't need to buy diapers for a year!! 

One of DH's friends offered to hold a diaper party for him (is that what its called?). Where all the guys get together (probably on a boat at the river) to drink beer and hang out but everyone brings a pack of diapers. DH tried to decline and just say they would hang out but I told him not to turn down free diapers! The weird thing is the guy that brought it up is the last person I would ever think would 1. Know about such things, 2. Offer to host one. He is the party boy of the group, not married, and no kids. 

noideawhatshesdoing

@foxbaby2016 My mom and BFF wanted to do mine on Mother's Day too and I asked them not to exactly because of that reason. I didn't want/expect others to have to give up their own Mother's Day plans because of my shower. So mine is the day before which I'm not crazy about either. I don't think it would be rude if you didn't go. You could do something just the two of you or just go to the other more casual shower.

millpe

@foxbaby2016 I don't think its rude to skip the one on mothers day especially if you were/will be invited to the other casual one. Actually I think having it on mothers day is a little rude since that day is special to a lot of people. 

WorkinWeezel

This is #3 for me so I'm not expecting a shower.  I did have a "sprinkle" with #2, but that was really just to replenish some of the silly stuff (diapers, wipes, cream, new washcloths, etc...).  This was unexpected so I had already given away most of my baby stuff; luckily, a lot of people are giving me their old stuff (in amazing condition!) so I'm feeling fortunate for that.  I do have a registry, but only so I can get the completion coupons at the end to buy what else we will need!!

@moguippy that sounds fun!  Sorry your mom is being a downer about it.  

@noideawhatshesdoing cannot WAIT to see those pics!  LOL!  I love their enthusiasm.

@foxbaby2016 I definitely think it is fine to skip the big shower and go to the small work shower.  Mother's Day is also a day to celebrate you and, while I understand they are all excited about her becoming a mother, that should not take away from YOU being a mother, IMO.  I think it's nice you want to see your and DH's mom and spend some time with your DS as well

noideawhatshesdoing

@WorkinWeezel Oh, if mom and BFF actually do whatever they are currently discussing, I'll post pics for sure. I'm only sad I can't sit back and drink a beer while taking it all in. I love them both dearly, but they have entirely different ways of doing things and it's sure to be interesting. I guess mom went out and bought a bunch of 50's diner decorations and bff has been collecting lace and doilies. I told both of them there didn't need to be a theme anyway. Maybe I'm boring, but shouldn't the "theme" be just baby shower?

zombiehoohaa

Dh's sister and her sil are throwing me a baby shower on May 19th. My mom's birthday is the 21st, so I asked her if she is okay with the baby shower being the weekend of her birthday; she said it was the perfect time to do it. So that made me feel better. I'm not into themes at all. However, I was asked to pick from a handful of print outs and went with a puppy dog. I asked for the collar to be purple and to add a bow, since I'm having a girl (I'm not a pink kind of gal). Dh does not want to be a part of the shower, so its women and children only. I'm okay with this. My invite list is at 79, including kids, however I only see 30-40 coming. That's 95% family. I feel obligated to invite some people, even though I know they won't show up, because of my dad and MIL passing away a few months ago. Trying to keep the peace in a sense. I have no control over the games, food, or any of that. I did demand a tres leches cake with strawberries from a specific bakery, though (priorities). I loathe being the center of attention and am getting anxiety thinking about this. Oy!

moguippy

@zombiehoohaa my guest list was around 70 but I only foresee about half of those coming. I'm glad I'm not the only one with a big guest list. But yeah, there are ppl you feel like you have to invite, even though they most likely won't come. 

I also asked for no games but I doubt that will happen. Whatever, I will make DH play the games instead of me lol

zombiehoohaa

@moguippy I created a Google spreadsheet with the names, addresses, emails of the women I've invited. I've gone so far as to list who is family and who is friends, who has kids, how many kids, and if I think they will actually show or not. I didn't want my sil to feel overwhelmed with 79 people in her house. 

I was told there are 4 games being done. I'm hoping to all things holy, that the "how big is mommy's belly" is NOT one of them. I HATE that game...

moguippy

@zombiehoohaa We also made a google spreadsheet for SILs.  I also expressed that any game related to "guess the girth" is strictly forbidden.  I was hoping more for a BBQ where we could play cornhole/horseshoes/ lawn games instead of the always awkward "showery" games

purplepelican

 @zombiehoohaa MH joked that he wished we had started measuring my belly so that we can see how big it gets. I told him that the only person I want coming near me with a tape measure is my doctor when checking my fundal height thank you very much. 

krystlerr

We are also doing a co-ed shower. I had my bridal shower last year with only women and I feel like my husband should be honored just as much as I am so we decided on a co-ed one. We have a lot of family and friends and want all to be included so it will be pretty casual. Our parents are hosting it together on June 9th (both first time grandparents and very excited) and it will be somewhat similar to our engagement party in the backyard of his parents’ home which is pretty big. Since it’ll be in the summer, we are doing a tropical theme and having a taco stand (which we love). Also might see if we can get a Hawaiian shaved ice cart since it will be in the summer. We really just want to celebrate the baby with all of our loved ones, with great food, music so it will mostly be like one big party. 

wildtot

No shower for me. Didn’t have one with DS due to complications but i have most of the stuff already. Maybe we can do a get together in June but not baby focused necessarily.

@foxbaby2016 not rude at all to skip the one on mother’s day. I actually think it’s inconsiderate of them to do it that day. 

stlmegs

@foxbaby2016 I don't think it would be weird or bad at all to skip the one on Mother's Day.  I would be a little put off by that also. Many people have plans with their family on that day...they would have to understand that.

@MrsMiller8588 that is really nice of him to do!  My guess is party boy sees it as an excuse for a party but hey, free diapers are free diapers!  lol

chaser61

I am with @MrsMiller8588 and requested a diaper and wipe party when my boss’ wife asked to have one for me. Well, she didn’t ask and told me to pick a date. I am a little concerned that hardly anyone will go. Our office has mostly men that are older. Boss’ wife said it would be a bbq at their house which has a pool for the kids to swim. I guess there are three co-workers with families here. The boss has only been around for a few months so I don’t feel that comfortable with someone I don’t know that well throwing a shower.

I would skip the Mother’s Day shower unless you can show up for an hour and still fit in your plans.

morethanamama

@foxbaby2016 this is actually a reason I was pissed at my BFF. Her sister in law had twins in January so she was going to visit her with her husband for mother's day weekend and she was trying to push me to do the shower then. I honestly totally forgot but when I realized it was mother's day it was a definite no. And after talking with lots of friends they also thought it was a bad idea - they all had plans and lots of other ppl have kids so they would not be able to come. I picked the 19th and now my friend is not even sure she will come here. She keeps saying flights are expensive ($450 per person) but hey, it's Florida to CA. Both my DH and I flew to her twice last year for her engagement party and wedding... so I know it's $$ . Sorry for the novel...

@krystlerr we are also having tacos! They are just the best and also easy for vegetarian people! My parents are in Italy so they won't be there but in laws will. I wish we could have had it in Texas because their yard is like screaming "entertainment space" but it was just not doable. 

@noideawhatshesdoing I was also like "a theme??". Good Lord, I am still scarred from all the freaking wedding planning, so yes, the theme is "baby shower". LOL.

elizabethrn87

Regarding mother’s day- not a baby shower but that’s when my SIL to be wants to have her bachelorette weekend. I feel bad because my other SIL is stressed because of the date. 


No shower for me. My daughter just turned 4. We don’t need anything. I would love to have a get together just to be able to visit with family / friends but guess we will not be doing that.

lem5344

FTM and my shower will be May 20th. At first I thought I wanted it to all be a surprise and then I realized I'm not the surprise type of person lol. My sister, mom, mil, and stepmom are all involved. I suggested mother's day too without realizing and then everyone agreed that people probably wouldn't want to come to a baby shower on that date. We are doing a "display shower" which basically means everyone gets to skip the wrapping paper and ribbons. I'll greet everyone as they arrive with their gift and thank them. Then the gifts all get displayed on the gift table for everyone else to see too. This way I get to avoid the awkward hour of everyone staring at me while I open each gift. And their will be more time for socializing and playing a bunch of fun games to keep everyone entertained. Since we have the same friend group, my fiance will be inviting some of the guys to come too. We picked a venue that allowed alcohol and had extra room for the guys to hang out kinda separately and play horse shoes or corn hole. Skipping any themes and also trying to avoid the awful baby blue color along with any super tacky baby decorations. Hoping it's a fun time for every. Also hoping you ladies have some awesome showers/sprinkles too! I feel like the shower gets us one step closer to meeting these little babes !

tarheelgirl8

@foxbaby2016 I wouldn’t have any guilt over skipping it.  None, zero.  Honestly, they’re probably going to get a lot of no’s.  If you’re not feeling comfortable going to the work event, maybe you can just offer to take her out to lunch and bring her a gift.  I’d probably call her and explain honestly why you’re not able to attend and then schedule a lunch.  You might be doing a her a favor if she finds out far enough in advance how annoyed most people are probably going to be.  They might consider rescheduling.

SmashJam

@foxbaby2016 I would skip the shower also unless you can show up for a bit and leave to fit in your plans and you are ok with that. Like a lot of others said I also think that's inconsiderate of your friend.

I'm unsure I'll get a shower this time, third baby and all, but I think because of how last time around turned out people might be excited to celebrate this time. I also think my MIL feels bad that she wanted to throw a shower after my second was born instead of before so I could "enjoy it" (drink) and then didn't get to. My SIL mentioned doing a sprinkle because she thinks "every baby should be celebrated" which I am not against. Having everyone bring diapers and wipes sounds great but...you probably can't ask for certain brands, right? DS had sensitive skin and Honest Co and Seventh Generation were the only ones that didn't give rashes until he was over a year, I couldn't even use the mounds of Huggies and Pampers we got! I bet if they do it they'll just do a little get together at MIL's house which is great for entertaining!

flockofmoosen3

My DD's birthday is May 19! Such a great day to have parties!  

Like @WorkinWeezel this is my third baby so no shower for me. I also got rid of all of our baby stuff last summer because I thought we were done, so I am trying to get hand-me-downs from friends and cheap stuff on FB swap sites. One of my friends is actually giving baby clothes to me that I gave to her haha! I made an Amazon registry to keep track of some the things I want to get this time that I didn't have for the first two, and I told my mom and MIL that it's there for ideas only...like, if they find some cheap or free used items on the list for me at garage sales or friends I would love the help.

tarheelgirl8

@SmashJam if you’re having a diapers & wipes party, then I think it’s totally appropriate to ask for a specific brand if that’s what you want.  I don’t see it as any different than a registry that has specific brands/models.  We had one recently for a coworker and the organizer even asked us sign up for sizes so the parents to be didn’t end up with all newborns.  I thought it was totally reasonable.

morethanamama

@SmashJam I know it can be a pain but can the diapers be returned if they are in boxes? I guess maybe people make diaper cakes out of them? Lol sorry I've only been to 3 showers and have no idea. I also think it's acceptable to ask for certain brands!

SmashJam

@kissableviv they were in diaper cakes, so I couldn't!

flockofmoosen3

UO: I hate diaper cakes. The diapers get stuck in those tight rolls and are hard to open up one-handed while holding up a baby's wiggly legs.

foxbaby2016

Thanks ladies! Your input makes me feel okay with my decision to skip the shower on Mother's Day. I also feel like it's a little inappropriate to have it on that day but I wanted to make sure it wasn't the hormones talking   

@SmashJam I think it's great to ask for a specific brand of diapers and wipes. If I am spending money on a gift, I want to make sure the person will be able to use it. That's also why I always buy all of the boring stuff off a person's baby registry 

millpe

@SmashJam I agree with PP that you can ask for a specific brand! If you are doing a registry and sharing it you could register for that brand? Or just have it included on the invites. I would also assume (as a naive FTM) that the majority of diapers/wipes people bring to a party would be in a box and could be returned or exchanged. Isn't it just the host that would go through the effort of doing something like a diaper cake? And you can mention it to the host at a minimum to ensure the box they open for diaper cake or any other decor/games would be one you could use. 

kc1293

@flockofmoosen3 - I did the same thing! This is my third one too, and I just made a registry to keep track of replacement things we need.

babygagnon2018

Mine is planned for a brunch on Sunday June 10th.  My mom, sister and MIL are planning it at my house which I am so happy about (no lugging stuff home or rushing to get ready etc)  I think the guest list is about 40 people but I think about 25ish will show because my family lives in CT and we are doing the shower in NH. 

Doing an early brunch because I hate when people do showers in the summer in the middle of the day- I always thought I was pretty much wasting my entire day between wrapping the gift, getting ready, driving there and the shower itself.

Not too sure what they have planned as far as food or games but probably just a simple backyard get together with girlfriends and our families (+kids invited)  I was planning to do a FB invite for DH so him and some of the guys can all get together and go to a local brewery.  That way they can drop their wives/gf off at my house and all go together then probably come back at the end.

morethanamama

Now I wonder if I should veto diaper cakes lol. 
Forgot to mention my invites are all via Evites. Such a waste of money IMO to mail them and then having to keep track. Most people throw them away anyways. Maybe this is a UO!