I believe that the question is intended for the remaining frozen embryos of one of our ladies. Which whatever someone choses to do with their eggs and embryos is their choice.
So... what happens to the other 3 babies? @csh8789 Wow not sure how you could feel it’s ok to say this. Incredibly thoughtless and rude. I’d delete that comment.
We found out with all of the other kids (3 girls, 1 boy). This time we're going Team Green! It's so exciting since we got rid of all the baby stuff so either way, we're shopping all over again.
Ok, so I am assuming this is for me (although I have 4 frozen ones, not 3). There are two ways your question can be taken- 1) seriously. You may be genuinely curious as to what happens to my embryos and your tone just comes off strange or 2) You are trolling to try to shame IVF people for what they do (not the first time). If it is the first, I am happy to run though it with you, as I am sure other people may also be curious. If it is the latter...I am also happy to run through you.
I am going to spoiler it all as to not derail from the joy of other peoples boy/girl/green announcements!
First off, people think IVF creates a bunch of embryos and people get pregnant and its great- super wrong. IVF has a high failure rate- the reason to make so many embryos is because many/most will not survive and/or implant. My first IVF gave me ZERO embryos. I had to go through IVF again, and its expensive so for people that only get one go, trying to make as many embryos as possible to give them a chance is exceedingly important. Then, there is the part where just because you make them, doesn't mean they stick around. I know many people with RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss aka multiple miscarriages) who just have a lot of trouble having a baby implant and actually stay. It is incredibly sad, so having more embryos to give them more chances is very important. Most IVF cycles give people 2-3 embryos to work with, which means you may get 1 or 2 kids. Some people get 10 embryos. Some people go through multiple IVF cycles and end with nothing. So please don't think there are tons of IVF people out there having a party making dozens of embryos. It is an incredibly long, painful (physically and emotionally) and expensive process.
So, what happens? Well, I have this first kid, and then I can use my frozen embryos to try to have siblings for that kid. I may get lucky on the first go...I may not, as stated above. So those 4 frozens could turn into just 1 or 2 children...or I could get lucky and complete my family and still have frozen embryos left over.
So what happens if I have frozens left over? Well, a few things! I can have them implanted in me at the wrong part of my cycle- many religious people chose this knowing their bodies will not 'take' the embryo (just like if you had sex when not ovulating and all that sperm just dies and not create a baby), but they still had their embryo inside them for a brief period. Some people keep them frozen just in case- I mean, how many women here thought they were done only to want another one a few years later. Some people donate them to other infertile couples whose problem may be poor egg quality and they don't make eggs/enough eggs on their own (the majority successful IVF for women over 40 are actually either through the use of donor eggs or donor embryos). This is called 'snowflake adoption'. You can have your embryos donated to science- usually its stem cell research or just training other people to do IVF lab techniques. Embryos cannot survive in culture past day 7 (and many do not survive to day 5 or 6), so its not like they are growing an embryo to a 10 week of fetus and doing experiments (in fact, that is outlined in the legal documents), its just on a 5-7 day blastocysts (which are approx. 300-500 cells and are still prior to the point that they would have even implanted into your uterus), or you can have them destroyed. What did we pick? Well frankly, that is none of your business, internet stranger. But we feel very confident and happy in our choice. Now if anyone ELSE is curious, please feel free to PM me! I am happy to talk about IVF specifics.
Now, if you were the latter and just trying to stir the pot, please note that this website is open to all kinds of people, and thats beautiful. We have 1/1 moms, we have clomid moms, we have IVF moms, we have women on here that are choosing to be single mothers or people that have non-traditional family units and they may have already or may deal with criticism from friends/family/strangers/the internet their whole lives, and guess what, no one needs that. There is so much negativity in the world already- why not try to be happy? And if happiness for you is going on the internet to try to emotionally hurt people, then lady (? assuming?), you picked the wrong damn person.
@kiwi2628 thank you for the science lesson this am. It was very interesting. I know some of the process but it's always interesting to learn more. My cousins were born from IVF (twins after my aunt tried to reverse her tubal ligation).
I think it's great we have so many different family Dynamics in this group and many of us are super open and supportive.
@kiwi2628 thank you so much for listing the options! I had no idea about what the options were after you were "done" having kids. I know my friend who is currently going through IVF has said she struggles with this decision. IVF is such a grueling process, but it can have an absolutely amazing outcome. For anyone to say anything negative about the process seems so disgustingly privileged.
@kiwi2628 thank you so much for sharing your story and all of the great info! I didn’t know much about it, and really appreciate you taking the time to explain the process.
@kiwi2628 - Obviously, that weirdo was just a troll, but thank you SO much for your detailed explanation. I am fortunate to not have IVF as part of my journey to motherhood, but the science is truly amazing, and i am fascinated by the different options out there, having never put a huge amount of thought into otherwise. I feel a teeny bit smarter today, and it's all thanks to you!
(also, congrats on the night of sleep, its a game changer!)
@kiwi2628 Well said and I appreciate you taking the time to explain. Let's hope they learned something and will quit trolling. Science is amazing and it helps so many people in need in many different ways, and we are very fortunate to have the options we do in life.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I haven't actually posted on here because we're team green, but congrats on all of the happy news!
@kiwi2628, I assumed trolly mctrollerson said "other 3" because you mentioned having one of each (boy/girl) and "she" made her assumptions from there. Because, you know, obviously every embryo you transfer is magically sticky and doesn't have a significant chance of failure. (TB really needs an eye roll emoji so I can adequately express my sarcasm).
Your response was informative and eloquent. The support from the other ladies, who actually participate on this board, is great.
I will also second @kiwi2628's invitation. If anyone has any questions about the IVF process or my journey specifically, I'm happy to share. I don't foresee this delightful person coming back, but I'm also happy to defend my life choices, because, it's my life, if anyone wants to go that route.
@kiwi2628 thanks for being so informative! It is truly amazing to have so many different dynamics in this group! I feel like I get to learn so much from all of you wonderful ladies whether you're answering questions or putting trolls n their places like a badass!! So happy to be on this board with you all!
Thanks @kiwi2628 for expressing that so well. IVF is HARD, and anyone who undergoes it doesn’t take their embryos lightly. Our first round resulted in one “poor quality” embryo, which luckily was a sticky one, and is now my 7 year old son. Because we wanted him to have siblings and our fam didn’t feel complete, we did a whole second round. Got 11 eggs, which became 7 embryos. Transferred 1 which didn’t take, then did a double transfer and had twins (they’re 4). Hemmed and hawed a bit, but decided to do one more transfer, and surprise, it split into identical twins.
We have had had long emotional discussions about our remaining 3 embryos. They are the result of time, effort, and a huge physical toll on my body (hormone injections are not fun and have definite side effects). But our family will be done after these twins. I’m getting old, deliver preterm, and am finished having babies. Our decision is also private, but for anyone to troll and try to make people feel guilty for the decisions they make which are right for their family, are sad sorry excuses for human beings. These decisions are well considered by the people involved, and are not easy to make.
@kiwi2628 That was the most perfect and articulate way you could have explained the process and what you and so many others on this board are experiencing. Thank you so much for sharing...I'm literally slow clapping alone in my office right now.
We're team pink! We found out a few days ago. Hubs was initially in shock, pretty sure he was hoping for a boy, but he's since gotten overly (yes, overly) team girl.
Just got our genetic results back - all clear, which is great, and a boy! We have a 3 yo dd so I’m still trying to figure out what a boy will be like...
We have a 3 yo dd so I’m still trying to figure out what a boy will be like...
Cute, adorable tiny human that cries when hungry. When older, may be into football or gymnastics. Will have amazing smile, that all the peeps swoon over.
In other words- it will be a grand adventure, just like with your dd.
@kiwi2628 Thank you for sharing all of that information on IVF. I have a really good friend who recently went through the IVF process and she has shared a lot with me about it. It was nice for me to learn even more so that I can be more informed while trying to support her. I think your response was very eloquent and dignified and appreciate that you gave the person the benefit of the doubt even if they are most likely just trolling.
We have a 3 yo dd so I’m still trying to figure out what a boy will be like...
Cute, adorable tiny human that cries when hungry. When older, may be into football or gymnastics. Will have amazing smile, that all the peeps swoon over.
In other words- it will be a grand adventure, just like with your dd.
yeah, I know in reality my kid will be my kid, and nurture trumps nature and all that. but only having experienced a girl, it's still feels mysterious! I was actually completely agnostic to sex this go around, too. Different will be fun, just as two girls would have been fun too. They are going to share a room for a long time, so that's what makes it (really just slightly) complicated, but we can get away with that for a few years at least.
I got my results back, looks like along with my two year old I am going to be a girl mom! 2 girls! I won’t be shouting it to the world until I make sure on the scan though just because I am extra cautious haha.
Just got our progenity test back! After they thought the baby might have downs syndrome (no nasal bone seen), the test came back all normal Apparently, it's just because we are Asian ahha. we would have kept the baby regardless of the results.
We are having another boy! I'm super excited. I wanted a boy for my son to have a buddy!!!
Re: It's a boy/girl/baby! POLL!
BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016
BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
I am going to spoiler it all as to not derail from the joy of other peoples boy/girl/green announcements!
So, what happens? Well, I have this first kid, and then I can use my frozen embryos to try to have siblings for that kid. I may get lucky on the first go...I may not, as stated above. So those 4 frozens could turn into just 1 or 2 children...or I could get lucky and complete my family and still have frozen embryos left over.
So what happens if I have frozens left over? Well, a few things! I can have them implanted in me at the wrong part of my cycle- many religious people chose this knowing their bodies will not 'take' the embryo (just like if you had sex when not ovulating and all that sperm just dies and not create a baby), but they still had their embryo inside them for a brief period. Some people keep them frozen just in case- I mean, how many women here thought they were done only to want another one a few years later. Some people donate them to other infertile couples whose problem may be poor egg quality and they don't make eggs/enough eggs on their own (the majority successful IVF for women over 40 are actually either through the use of donor eggs or donor embryos). This is called 'snowflake adoption'. You can have your embryos donated to science- usually its stem cell research or just training other people to do IVF lab techniques. Embryos cannot survive in culture past day 7 (and many do not survive to day 5 or 6), so its not like they are growing an embryo to a 10 week of fetus and doing experiments (in fact, that is outlined in the legal documents), its just on a 5-7 day blastocysts (which are approx. 300-500 cells and are still prior to the point that they would have even implanted into your uterus), or you can have them destroyed.
What did we pick? Well frankly, that is none of your business, internet stranger. But we feel very confident and happy in our choice. Now if anyone ELSE is curious, please feel free to PM me! I am happy to talk about IVF specifics.
Now, if you were the latter and just trying to stir the pot, please note that this website is open to all kinds of people, and thats beautiful. We have 1/1 moms, we have clomid moms, we have IVF moms, we have women on here that are choosing to be single mothers or people that have non-traditional family units and they may have already or may deal with criticism from friends/family/strangers/the internet their whole lives, and guess what, no one needs that. There is so much negativity in the world already- why not try to be happy? And if happiness for you is going on the internet to try to emotionally hurt people, then lady (? assuming?), you picked the wrong damn person.
I think it's great we have so many different family Dynamics in this group and many of us are super open and supportive.
(also, congrats on the night of sleep, its a game changer!)
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@kiwi2628, I assumed trolly mctrollerson said "other 3" because you mentioned having one of each (boy/girl) and "she" made her assumptions from there. Because, you know, obviously every embryo you transfer is magically sticky and doesn't have a significant chance of failure. (TB really needs an eye roll emoji so I can adequately express my sarcasm).
Your response was informative and eloquent. The support from the other ladies, who actually participate on this board, is great.
I will also second @kiwi2628's invitation. If anyone has any questions about the IVF process or my journey specifically, I'm happy to share. I don't foresee this delightful person coming back, but I'm also happy to defend my life choices, because, it's my life, if anyone wants to go that route.
We have had had long emotional discussions about our remaining 3 embryos. They are the result of time, effort, and a huge physical toll on my body (hormone injections are not fun and have definite side effects). But our family will be done after these twins. I’m getting old, deliver preterm, and am finished having babies. Our decision is also private, but for anyone to troll and try to make people feel guilty for the decisions they make which are right for their family, are sad sorry excuses for human beings. These decisions are well considered by the people involved, and are not easy to make.
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
In other words- it will be a grand adventure, just like with your dd.
Just got the call from my OB. Harmony came back normal...and we're having a girl!! So much for team green lol I have no self control.
Congrats everyone so far on finding out! I had labs done Monday so I should be finding in the two weeks
We are having another boy!