Weekly Questions 3/5 - 3/11

zande2016

@gingerbride26 my little guy has been transverse at both the anatomy scan and follow up scan today, but at this point they are tiny in there and have so much room to flip around a lot so I don't think you need to be concerned yet. I think my baby is flipping a lot because sometimes I feel him super low and sometimes super high. 

canucklehead123

This is kind of a silly question.... would you say you are 6 months pregnant DURING your 6th month of pregnancy or after you have completed 6 full months of pregnancy?  DH and I have been going back and forth on this...lol. 

ETA: sorry guys, just realized I posted this in the question thread from last week but...too late to change.

gingerbride26

@zande2016 yea not worried at all yet - just had never seen a baby folded like a jack-knife before instead of the knees bent and was curious how many others have similarly lounging kiddos
@canucklehead123 uh oh the pregnancy math is going to start again ;-) I'm the wrong person to ask - I'm guilty of rounding time periods a lot - I'd say anywhere past 5.5 you're 6 months...but I'm sure most will say you are 6 months only AFTER you hit 6 full months

wildtot

@canucklehead123 lol idk i just keep going by weeks to avoid math lol. 

chaser61

@zande2016 I agree. I am always careful with how I spoke to the teachers because I didn’t want them to feel like they were in the middle. That is why I said I “poke” around for info. I rarely bluntly ask a question. I try to come off as just curious how things work or pardon my ignorance but...

If you wanted to find out how long he was in the toddler classroom you could start by asking if he ate the toddler meals and if they thought he would transition okay to new food. Then slip in, how do you decide how to work the transition? Does he come in just for meals but spend the afternoon back in the infant room? And add in a...just curious how you work it because this is his first transition. Oh he stayed there all day all week? Did he do well with that? Is that how they usually work the transition? Are other kids spending a week at a time in the toddler room too?

I just try to make it conversational. It might not be worth it now that you are leaving but it would probably make you feel better to get down to the bottom of it. DS would only transition for about two weeks in the next room. The first week would be an hour here and there to play and then the second, he would try meals and naps in the new room.

millpe

@canucklehead123 I have thought about this and have NO idea. I just go by weeks. Right now I'm 22 weeks and would say I'm 5 months, but I have no idea if thats correct?

moguippy

@canucklehead123 I divide the weeks by 4... So at 24 weeks that makes you 6 months. I have no idea if this is right, but that's how I do it.  It makes sense to me bc that's how you tell people your age. You don't tell people your kid is 4 in his 4th year, you tell people he is 3. Does this make sense or am I crazy lol

I know some people go by the date of the month.  i.e. I am due on July 19th so I would wait until March 19th to say I am 5 months.. (or 6 months?.. idk).  

SmashJam

@canucklehead123 you could always say, "This is the 6th month I have been pregnant!" when you reach the month that would be your 6th with a baby inside your uterus. So I found out at thanksgiving ish, so november, so I would say the whole month of nov I was preggo. Then dec, jan, feb, march...april will be the 6th month of my pregnancy. Word it like that math nazis can't get to you! (I say that lovingly math nazis!)

zande2016

There are 4.3 weeks in a month if you average out the year...so maybe divide # of weeks by 4.3? That would make me 5.11 months at 22 weeks and I would round up to 6 months. I don't know, I hate math lol. 

bearmomma1

@canucklehead123 the way I think about it, is if I've completed the 5 month of pregnancy, then I'm 5 months pregnant. because after that, you're 5 months and a week or 5 1/5 months pregnant. I also google a lot to keep up 

  is a good image to refer to. I'm 23 weeks pregnant, so in my 6 month of pregnancy, but have completed the 5th month, so a little over 5 months pregnant.

millpe

If someone told me they were 6 months pregnant right now I would assume they were due in about 3 months..  So June. Hahaha still don't know. So I'm going with 5 for me.

canucklehead123

Thanks all! Clear as mud...   

acunamatada

I just divide my # of weeks by 4.. I’m nooo good at math so I keep it simple lol. 23 weeks now so I’ll tell people I’m 5.5 months until 24 weeks, then I’ll say 6 months and so on. 
Honesty though, I forget how many weeks I am unless I look at my phone.. So I’ll usually just say I’m due early July lol 

Sarafuss

I've never been able to figure out how many months pregnant I am.  If someone asks me how many months I say "I don't know but I'm 21 weeks".  If they need to know the number of months they can do the math lol. 

SmashJam

I like to put an "ish" at the end of the number of months. According to the graphic @rachelsogo posted I'm in my 6th month next week(crazy!), but I do understand what @MrsMiller8588 is saying and would expect me to be due a certain number of months from then (but i do 10 months, since you are about 4 weeks when you find out), and 4 months from next week is a couple weeks short (or for me, an entire month short almost, lol). So I would say 5-6 months-ish, or "somewhere between 5 and 6 months."

ckmb_1250

Random, but do any of you experienced moms have a cat? I am worried about the cat jumping into the crib or bassinet while the baby is sleeping. If I need to start closing the door to our bedroom while sleeping my cat will be totally distraught - seriously - and I need to start working on making this change now 

moguippy

@ckmb_knottie I am also wondering this. We have two cats, but one will cry loudly if the door is closed. We were thinking of just leaving the door open and hoping they don't jump in the crib. 
I know my brothers (very old) cat would jump in their daughter's bassinet though.

acunamatada

@ckmb_knottie crazy cat lady here, my cats were pretty good about staying out of the crib/bassinet. I put aluminum foil down when we set up the crib and bassinet, cats don’t like the feel of the foil on their feet so they learned to avoid it. It looks silly but it works!

ETA I was mostly worried about one of our cats that likes to pee in baskets- the cats avoided baby things when DS was using them. 

runsomewhere

@ckmb_knottie We have 2 cats. Surprisingly they weren't that interested in getting in to baby stuff and I didn't stress about it too much. When DD started sleeping in her room alone I'd typically close the door to her room to keep them out but when she was a newborn and sleeping ion our room the cats came and went as they pleased. I am serious about sleep safety for newborns but I wouldn't stress about it to much or do anything harsh with the fur babies. 

runsomewhere

This could be a dumb question but I'm so clueless about how to tell my 2 year old DD about her baby sister and me being pregnant. I've told her that she is getting a baby sister and she'll often say that she wants to take care of the baby and other cute stuff. Then she'll always ask "where is she" so I say she's not here yet and DD just looks confused and asks "where is she." I kind of tried the whole "in mommy's belly" thing but I think that made no sense to her lol. I got her a big sister book that we are giving her soon and she gets that there will be a baby but she's confused about the when and where part of things. 

SmashJam

@ckmb_knottie I also have 1 cat and had no issue with them crawling/jumping into anything at all...except the carseat if I left it on the floor by the door. They do sell these weird canopies that I legit looked into because I was worried about the same thing...that's the best example I could find, lol.

acunamatada

@runsomewhere I’ve been trying to explain it to my 2.5yo DS for months now but he deliberately ignores me when I talk about it lol. I got him a cute “hello baby” book about a baby growing in mommy’s belly and coming home and I think he’s juuuuust now getting it more. 

Sarafuss

@ckmb_knottie it probably depends on your cat and his/her personality.  My cat didn't bother DS unless he was in the dockatot.  If I had him napping in it in the living room during the day he would literally curl up on top of him/his belly and I would have to shoo him away.  For that reason, we would shut our bedroom door at night so he couldn't do that while we were sleeping.  He wouldn't bother him at all otherwise but the cat loved the dockatot and wanted to lay in it too.

SmashJam

@runsomewhere my 2.5 yo DS has no interest really most of the time. There are a couple of kids in the library group I go to whose mom is due in early April who are about 3 and 1.5-I have been going to this group for a few months and the kids both on Tuesday just exclaimed with extreme happiness about the new baby...like maybe they just got it in the last week that a new baby was coming, lol. 

tarheelgirl8

@ckmb_knottie I guess I’m the dissenting view!  We have one cat and we set up the bassinet in our room about a month before DD was born.  He never bothered it but then after she was born we caught him trying to get into it while she was sleeping.  I’m guessing maybe the smell of the baby intrigued him?  We ended up keeping our door closed with him outside until we moved DD to the nursery.  Our cat was NOT happy about suddenly being forbidden from sleeping in our room at night, and did quite a number to our carpet right outside the bedroom door as he tried to get in for the first couple weeks.  In a month or two we will probably kick him out again so he gets used to it before the baby comes.    

wildtot

We had two cats when DS was born i was worried about the same thing but they actually stayed away because he cried a lot. They would sleep on my feet or somewhere far away from the crib. I occasionally catch our one cat crawling into the toddler bed but never when he’s sleeping.

eta I’ve heard foil, stick plastic, or balloons can be used to train a nosey cat. But hey maybe a cucumber too if you’ve seen those videos lol

comealongponds

@gingerbride26 one of my twins went back and forth between frank and footling Breech my whole pregnancy.

@ckmb_knottie we lock the cat out of where the babies sleep. He was obsessed with the bassinets, cribs, car seats etc so I felt safer with him not having access. That meant 6m locked out of our room but he didn’t seem to mind (he’s back to sleeping with me now that the boys are in their own room). We will do the same this time. 

chaser61

@ckmb_knottie Our cats avoided DS. I think the crying freaked them out. One cat still avoids DS and he is 2.5 now!

+1 for DS not understanding he is getting a sister. I don’t think he will until he sees her. 

foxbaby2016

@runsomewhere I have no advice but if it makes you feel any better, my 2 year old DS doesn't get it either. I explained the "baby in the belly" scenario and now he thinks that a baby lives in HIS belly button. He also enjoys lifting the shirts of random people (aunts/uncles, daycare worker, grandparents, DH) so he can stick his finger in THEIR belly button and to "talk" to their baby. So I basically give up. lol.

hillbillywife

@gingerbride26 my baby is breech right now. He had his feet all the way down at the ultrasound but towards the end he was getting pissed and threw his legs up to where the transducer was pushing on my belly lol. I think that my other babies were breech at this point too but both ended up flipping around. This dude stays consistently really low. 

foxbaby2016

I need some advice. I am reaching out to you ladies because I am so torn so please excuse how long this is going to be....If I knew how to use a spoiler, I would totally use one 

My DS (turning 2 years old in a couple of weeks) currently goes to a really great NAEYC accredited daycare/early learning center three days a week. He has been there since he was an infant. Besides being an all-around awesome learning environment with great teachers and a great outdoor play area, it is located on the same campus as my job so I am only a 5 minute walk away from him at all times. They also provide all of the meals and I love the healthy options/variety. The downside to this daycare is the price...it's very expensive...even for part time.

With the new baby, I am not sure we can afford to send both children to this daycare/early learning center. We have figured it up and in order to make it work financially, we will have to take 1/2 of our current savings account and apply that to the entire year, If we do that, it will make the price manageable for the rest of the year and then we would do it again when we get our taxes back next year. However, we will be draining a good portion of our savings account to do it without replacing the money. And there are no other ways we can cut costs...we have scaled back a ton already (got rid of car payments, "extra" things, etc.)

We have found an at-home daycare. Switching to this daycare will save us (roughly) $350 - $400.00 a month. The daycare is four houses down from us (super convenient) and the lady has been doing it for over 20 years. I know a few people that have taken their children there and love it. However, I feel uncomfortable because I am used to such a structured "corporate" type of place. I am nervous about how many kids she has (5 toddlers so with both of my LOs, there will be 7 total - DD will be the only infant though). I am nervous about the learning environment and if he will be reaching his full potential at an at-home daycare vs. a early learning center (like how much TV time would a group of 6 toddlers REALLY get? I would guess quite a bit).  Breakfast, lunch and snacks are not provided so I will have to start packing those and I'm afraid that is going to be super time consuming and he won't be getting the healthy variety that he gets now due to time constraints on my end.  

I am also very worried about all of the changes that are coming his way (new baby, new daycare, potty training). 

I guess I am asking for advice/input. Does the "learning environment" even matter at 2 years old? Also, if any of you have any input on at-home daycares vs. larger corporate places. I have zero experience with at-home daycares so I'm nervous of the "unknown"...... I am so torn about what to do right now.

SmashJam

@foxbaby2016 any chance you can leave D'S at the early learning center and put LO at the home one? Sacrificing that much of your savings seems like a bad idea but totally understand wanting your DS in a more structured learning environment. Do you know specifically the kinds of things your son learns now/Will be learning in the future? Could you make that up at home? So much at his age is play so if they aren't teaching him anything specific besides social skills he might be fine in home.

chaser61

@foxbaby2016 I would personally lean towards keeping the daycare DS is in now. It sounds like a great place and there are a lot of changes already coming up. I do think toddlers learn a lot at this young age. Maybe ask the in home daycare what their day would like like. See if she has a schedule where they do learning activities? I have a little heartburn about two in daycare as well and might have to switch around some funds. I keep telling myself that things will be tight until DS goes to kindergarten in two years but we will get through it. I do like @SmashJam’s idea of putting the infant in the at home daycare to save a little at least for a year.

Did you see if the daycare at work gives a discount for two? Mine gives 10% off the first one. Not much but I will take it.

morethanamama

I agree about keeping DS there and try to keep the savings, especially with baby #2 on the way:) 

wildtot

@foxbaby2016 DS started in a Montessori as an infant. We loved it but it was way too expensive. When we moved to CO, daycare pricing was the same and since DH too a pay cut to move it was not an option anymore. Since then we have had two in home cares. The first was from 5 months to 20 months. DS loves her and he was the only one at first and it saved us more than half of what a daycare cost. But eventually she took on more toddlers and it became too much for me to see the benefit. She is also from Africa so I feel like DSs speech was a bit delayed because he was hearing 3 languages. It’s not bad but the doctor said it can be a reason for delay. There was also little structure with so many kids. Since January we found another in home care a block from us. It’s only 50 bucks more a week but only him and another girl. The plan is that she would also take on DS#2 eventually. I have seen a dramatic improvement with his speech and he gets more 1:1 time. I provided her with his typical schedule and it seems to be working just fine. We do provide his food and diapers but I’m fine with that. We talked about everything doing like a meal plan and they serve which would be cool. Overall i would love to put him in daycare but it wouldn’t work with our budget and we would have to travel at least 20 mins to drop and pick up. We to want to do preschool once he’s 3 at the school in our community which is only part time. Despite the slight delayed speech DS is very smart and independent. He loves being around other kids. Social interaction was my biggest concern with going to in home care but it hasn’t been an issue. 
Sorry im not much help but whatever you decide just make your ok with all the pros and cons. 

gingerbride26

@foxbaby2016 - @smashjam said exactly what I was going to say.  I've gone through the same back and forth with daycare and my almost 2 year old, we're also at a structured corporate place, but I do feel she gets a lot learning WITH other kids and her vocabulary has skyrocketed and they learn about weather and do crafts and play matching games to learn new words.  They also taught them all the body parts.  There wasn't much value-add when she was in infants, but in toddlers I see a lot of good.  Might be annoying to do 2 drop offs, but my concern with in-home is always the backup if that single care giver is sick or wants to take a vacation.

tarheelgirl8

@foxbaby2016 that’s such a tough call.  I only have experience with a corporate type daycare which definitely has its pros and cons.  I know people who have absolutely loved their in home daycares.  For me, I needed the dependability of a center (not having to worry about the caregiver getting sick or going on vacation).  I’m also very comforted by the management oversight of a center.  I like that there are managers watching the teachers, cameras in the classrooms, alarm codes to get inside, etc.  You just simply don’t get as much of that with in home, and that makes me nervous.  That said, I definitely don’t know that I would recommend draining your savings.  When you say savings, does that mean all your savings?  Including your emergency fund?  I would definitely get all the recommendations possible from previous and current parents before making your decision.  My state has an online website where you can review previous inspections of daycares, and any negative findings.  Similar to the way restaurants are inspected and reported on.  Maybe check to see if your state had something similar that would include in home daycares.  I would assume they have inspections too.  

elizabethrn87

@foxbaby2016 we had this issue. We can’t afford to have both in the daycare center my daughter currently goes to. We are going to send her to a full day private preschool and it is half the cost. I’m extremely anxious about it. Mostly that they do t help her go potty. Then baby will go to the daycare center two days a week for when I’m sleeping ( I’ll be switching to weekend nights so Mondays and fridays). In the end the cost is equal to what we currently are paying. Hold me though because I’m so nervous

flockofmoosen3

@foxbaby2016 we use an in-home daycare for our kids and are trying to make THAT work with three kids. It's our neighbor and she's been doing it for 20+ years in the same house, but she is still relatively young and so full of positive energy. She is licensed (which was important to me) so it means that she's regularly randomly checked by the state and she is part of programs that regulate the foods she provides and gives her small grants to buy new toys and kid gear. She does this job by herself (she has a family but they aren't involved in her work) and so she can only take a regulated maximum of 6-7 kids depending on age. She does not use the TV unless it's for a guided activity (recently, kids yoga) and she is more than happy to accommodate wishes to include preschool curriculum during the day for your child. They are always doing projects and my kids bring home stuff all the time.
For us, the whole in-home daycare has been a very positive and enriching experience for my kids. The only downside is her availability--she's so popular and tries to maximize her income that fitting our third kid in is barely working for us. We're going to have to hire our old nanny again to help us fill the daycare gap.

That said, I feel your pain trying to decide whether or not to leave the current place. It's really hard and frustrating to have to go through the whole transition and vetting and interviewing process to find people you trust will care for your kid the way you want them cared for. It's why I'm clinging desperately to our current daycare. You'll have to decide if the financial struggle, which is temporary, will be worth it for your kids. Daycare isn't forever--can you survive it? (We have friends who just committed to losing money every month just to afford daycare, so ppl do it.)

tarheelgirl8

@foxbaby2016 I was thinking about your situation more.  As I mentioned before, a big part of my decision focused on security and oversight.  We didn’t consider an in home daycare for DD for long because I didn’t like knowing that if she was being neglected or abused as an infant, I’d probably never know about it.  However your situatuin may be a little different.  How vocal is DS?  Is he able to communicate basic stuff about his day?  If so that might ease my personal fears about in home daycares.