March 2018 Moms
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FTM Questions for S+TMs - January Edition

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Re: FTM Questions for S+TMs - January Edition

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    @paigew123 That sucks. You know one thing I didn’t really think about or understand was just how much influence your hospital has over your birth. I’m sure they were in contact with my OB, but really I spent 5pm-5am in my nurse’s care lead by the charge nurse, and then my OB showed up when it was time to push. I’m so thankful for my nurse who went with her gut when the charge nurse told her to give me another cervix ripener when I really didn’t need it. She said she was going to wait an hour, and by that point my contractions were coming on so strong that my baby went into fetal distress. I can’t imagine if the nurses just followed orders immediately and gave me another pill. We spend so much time researching our OB’s and midwives, but then you get whatever nurse is on duty and assigned to you, and that’s that. They can make or break the experience for you. I hope I get one just as a good this time!
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    @missnc77 I hate when that happens! Last time my doctor was on call all night and then didn't leave until I gave birth the following afternoon. He was my biggest advocate. I loved that about him. The nurses on the L&D floor were awesome too! But as soon as I got to the recovery floor......it was as if I went from first class to economy! 
    I haven't checked out the new hospital I'm delivering in this time, but I wanted to stay with my OB, so it'll need to be ok!
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    @ashleyf911, that's encouraging to hear! Scary to think of getting up so soon after surgery, however it was scary enough getting up the morning after my c-section. However I need to remember it's supposed to help with recovery. Glad to hear your experience was positive, I'm hoping for the same. Last time I was so incredibly sleepy before and afterwards but hoping it was more about the whole ordeal and not specifically about the epidural making me sleepy (no idea if that's really a thing).
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    Sort of comforted to hear I'm not the only one who didn't have a glorious hospital experience. ;) I feel like I usually see people raving about their experience with the nurses/doctors, etc. The nurses in the L&D area were great, but as @paigew123 mentioned, when going to the recovery floor, the level of attention/quality went down. Not horrible, but they were definitely not at the same level.

    I don't really recall feeling like there were too many people/interruptions, but my pain point were all the nurses (no lactation consultants) who 'helped' with breastfeeding. They all had their own opinions/tips and some contradicted each other. It was just confusing sometimes and I could have done without all the man handling of my breasts (only one person made sure to ask if it was OK before she went in to help with adjustments/latch). This time around I want to be prepared to tell people to back off and I can handle my own breasts. :)

    @missnc77, that's so very true how your hospital can shape your experience. Something I didn't think about until afterwards was how some hospitals have much higher c-section rates (I just have to remember that at least in my area there isn't really another hospital available that has a lot better stats, so not like it would have really made a difference in where I went).
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    The hospital I am delivering at is one of those "Breast is best " hospitals and they won't let you supplement unless medically necessary, so I am just going to formula feed off the bat. I am still interested in giving my baby colostrum but I'm not sure how to approach it at the hospital without them trying to force me to breastfeed . Is there anyone here who formula fed but gave their baby colostrum? How did that work out? 
    Me: 36    DH: 37
    Married: 5.27.16
    Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker



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    @muggle621 - No experience to answer your question, but I'm essentially in the same boat!  I'm packing formula and bottles in my hospital bag so I have an easy final say over what my LO eats when.
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    I was at my OB friday for 30 week check up, and had an sonogram done. 
    Baby is currently head up. Doctor said it's ok, and that we'll keep monitoring to see if he'll flip. He didn't seem concerned. 
    If I remember correctly, last pregnancy baby was already head down. 
    Just wondering- does anyone know up until what point it's ok for baby to still not be in position? I know they can flip very late in the game, just wanna know when I should start worrying about it :)
    Baby is also measuring big- currently measures 32+4. 
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    Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    edited January 2018
    paigew123 said:
    I was at my OB friday for 30 week check up, and had an sonogram done. 
    Baby is currently head up. Doctor said it's ok, and that we'll keep monitoring to see if he'll flip. He didn't seem concerned. 
    If I remember correctly, last pregnancy baby was already head down. 
    Just wondering- does anyone know up until what point it's ok for baby to still not be in position? I know they can flip very late in the game, just wanna know when I should start worrying about it :)
    Baby is also measuring big- currently measures 32+4. 
    Mine worries around 34-36 weeks but will schedule a cs just in case if they’re head up at 32, but only because she has a ton of patients. If they flip they go vaginal and if not it’s scheduled. 

    Mine has been butt down at every appointment lol. I’m curious to see if she’s flipped yet but I’m having a cs anyway 
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    @paigew123 It is probably different from doctor to doctor.  Have you tried spinning babies yet?

    https://spinningbabies.com/
    Me: 30 H: 30
    Dx: PCOS
    Married: June 2013
    TTC#1: January 2015
    BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
    BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
    TTC#2: June 2017
    BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
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    @paigew123 my DD switched to head up at 37 weeks. I had an external manual version(they were going to have me go into the hospital and turn her) but I went in and DH(chiropractor) did a technique on me and within the hour she had flipped(it was a horrible feeling and I almost puked but was happy to not go to the hospital or have a c/s)
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

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    Thanks @Gingermom15 he said we'd take a look at 34 weeks. So I'm hoping that things will change 
    @becausescience I haven't checked that out. Thanks for including the link. I'll check that out and see if it can help! 
    @megpeg thanks for the tip! Do you know if any chiropractor is qualified to do that? 
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    @paigew123 he did learn it at school and has done a lot of research. I am not sure if all schools teach it or not. If you need it you may have to call around to find someone qualified- it's called the Webster Technique.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

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    @paigew123, I just happened to get done reading the 'pregnancy week by week' for week 30 on the bump, and it made it sound very normal to still be heads up. Said could be as early as 33 weeks that they turn (clearly indicating could take even longer).
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    @enigmaticjj thanks for that info! 
    I guess I'll just try not to think about it until my next appointment then. 
    My doctor didn't seem concerned, but that's his personality. He tries to keep his patients extremely calm.
    if it's still head up then, I'll start getting worried 
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    @paigew123, plus for doctors, they do this all the time. We don't, plus it's our own babies/experience, so still very understandable to be anxious and curious of what others experienced. :) 
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    @paigew123 My LO is also butt down and our midwife said we'd worry about it at week 36. My chiropractor is trained in the Webster technique so I'll talk to him about it. In the meantime, I've been trying to do some of the spinning babies stuff. It's worth a shot! 

    It does make me a little anxious, too - you're not alone! But I try to remind myself to focus on the things I can control. Keeping my body and mind as healthy as I can and trusting that baby will do what s/he needs to do. 
    BabyFruit Ticker

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    Questions about room sharing and all that. How long did baby sleep in your room? and how does that really work? I mean, I get the advice to "Sleep when baby sleeps," but that can only last for so long. So:
      
    what, do you put the baby to bed in your room then go back to the tv room or whatever you and DH do at night?
    Do you set up the baby monitor in your own room? (that seems weird.) 
    What about naps? in the crib so baby gets used to it? 
    Where do you have sex if the baby's right there next to your bed? 

    Current guidelines for room sharing seem excessively long to me and I couldn't access any actual research/data to back them up. But what do I know! Any input would be helpful. :D 
    BabyFruit Ticker

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    @fatstagnation I'm not a STM, but I agree the the current/new guidelines seem waaaay long. A year?! Seriously? From the research I've done, although there is still a SIDS risk up to a year, it is significantly decreased after 4-6 months. There are also a lot of articles that criticize the new guidelines because parents sleep better without babies in the room and if you have them in the same room for an entire year that means parents are more exhausted, which can lead to mistakes in care (here's one: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/06/upshot/should-your-baby-really-sleep-in-the-same-room-as-you.html). What we've personally decided between MH and I is 4-6 months, then a monitor. For us this is partially because once they outgrow their bassinets we simply don't have room for 2 full size cribs in our bedroom. So make your own decision about what you think is best on that issue, but know that just because the new guidelines say a year, doesn't mean all professionals agree with that. 
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    what, do you put the baby to bed in your room then go back to the tv room or whatever you and DH do at night?

    We didn’t try to start doing an early bedtime until DD1 actually started showing she was ready for one - maybe 3/4 months? We moved her into her room at around 2 months. It’s the earliest our peditirican recommended. I couldn’t sleep because I was so afraid of waking her up if I had to go to the bathroom among other things. 

    Do you set up the baby monitor in your own room? (that seems weird.)

    I did at times if she was sleeping in the mornings when I was ready to get up. 

    What about naps? in the crib so baby gets used to it? 

    I was just going to do a line of hahahahaha, but that wouldn’t be helpful. :) It wasn’t until 3/4 months when DD1 actually got more regular with her naps. For the first two months, it was more just napping where she fell asleep (usually after feeding). I’d leave her in the boppy, RNP, swing, all downstairs. When she got more regular with her naps, I would then put her in her room in the RNP. I had a swaddle addict that didn’t like flat, still surfaces, so DD1 didn’t actually sleep in her crib for naps or night sleep until we sleep trained her at 6 months. BUT all babies are different, so you may luck out. You never know. My best advice is go with the flow of your own baby. You may think you’ll do one thing, but your baby has other plans. I swore I’d never use a RNP for night sleep because of safety warnings, but then I became a desperately tired mom. Another example is I spent a fortune on a PB bassinet that was used for a total of 2 minutes the first night back home. After 2 minutes of crying, I made my husband bring up the Graco Gliding Bassinet we had downstairs, and that it what she ended up sleeping the best in. 

    Where do you have sex if the baby's right there next to your bed? 

    LOL. What is post partum sex? Just kidding. I know other women are quick to get back on that horse, but I was just too tired for sexy times when we were still room sharing with DD1. 

    Current guidelines for room sharing seem excessively long to me and I couldn't access any actual research/data to back them up. But what do I know! Any input would be helpful. :D 

    Again, go with the flow of your baby. It’s all trial and error. Just try to be as safe as possible, talk to your pediatrician, and do what works best for your family.
    Answered in the box. Sorry!
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    Is anyone else getting pushback when you tell them they need to get another TDap shot? I told my MIL they needed to get it again, even after they just got it less than 3 years ago for DD bc my MW said "up-to-date" meant every pregnancy. She said, "Well my friend just got hers and she said it was good for 5 years." I just told her I was going by what my MW said. Anyone hearing different?
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    @missnc77 thank you for that!! I will get clarification from my OB on Wednesday, too. It sounded off and perhaps I misunderstood when my MW saying up-to-date is every pregnancy I thought that applied to everyone, not just me!! I appreciate your response!!  <3
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    Is anyone else getting pushback when you tell them they need to get another TDap shot? I told my MIL they needed to get it again, even after they just got it less than 3 years ago for DD bc my MW said "up-to-date" meant every pregnancy. She said, "Well my friend just got hers and she said it was good for 5 years." I just told her I was going by what my MW said. Anyone hearing different?
    My SIL had two kids about 18 months apart, and she was told by her doctor that MIL needed to get the TDAP again for the second one. MH and I asked my doctor about this and if MIL would need another for our baby (SIL's second baby was born in October), and she told us that there isn't an official guideline on this (the tetanus part of the vaccine is good for 10 years, but the pertussis part is the more important factor with newborns). What she told us is apparently the vaccine loses some of its effectiveness against pertussis with each passing year, and it's sort of up to the doctor you ask what their recommendation is. She said she sticks to if it's been 2 years or more to get it again.

    Long answer to basically say I think it depends on your doctor. It's not going to do any harm to your MIL to get the shot again, so if I were you, I'd tell her sorry but that's doctor's orders and no shot, no baby!
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    @amylonghorn MY HMO says every pregnancy for the mom, every 10 years for most people, and for anyone who will be around a newborn every 5 years. So either way it sounds like your MIL is OK :)
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    Thanks for the room sharing input. I guess yes, it's been a while since I've been around a baby and now that you mention it, they nap where they fall asleep! :D Also, we couldn't fit one crib in our bedroom, so once the bassinet is outgrown baby has to sleep somewhere else. 

    Re TDAP: my DH is the one who thinks he doesn't need it!  I swear what I was told was he should have it every 5 years, but he's all cavalier (about everything which  is driving me nuts) saying he got it for his greencard so he's all good. I think that was more than 5 years ago. He'll be there for my appt with midwife on wednesday and I'm gonna ask her to clarify so he hears the same thing I do. :D 
    BabyFruit Ticker

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    vflux33 said:
    @amylonghorn MY HMO says every pregnancy for the mom, every 10 years for most people, and for anyone who will be around a newborn every 5 years. So either way it sounds like your MIL is OK :)
    WSS^
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    Questions about room sharing and all that. How long did baby sleep in your room? and how does that really work? I mean, I get the advice to "Sleep when baby sleeps," but that can only last for so long. So:
      
    what, do you put the baby to bed in your room then go back to the tv room or whatever you and DH do at night?
    Do you set up the baby monitor in your own room? (that seems weird.) 
    What about naps? in the crib so baby gets used to it? 
    Where do you have sex if the baby's right there next to your bed? 

    Current guidelines for room sharing seem excessively long to me and I couldn't access any actual research/data to back them up. But what do I know! Any input would be helpful. :D 
    It is going to be different for every baby.  DD slept in our room about two months.  We used an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper.  We did either the crib for naps, or the swing, or boppy lounger, or the co-sleeper in our room if I wanted to lay down too.  We didn't use a monitor (audio) until she was in her own room.  I feel like she and I both slept better once she was sleeping in her crib.  FWIW we used a Snuza Hero at night and didn't have any issues with false alarms until she started rolling over to sleep on her tummy. 

    In the early stages, I'd go to sleep when she did around 7 or 8, and then wake and feed (and pump) through the night.  Later, we'd put her down in her crib or co-sleeper and stay up until the next feed.

    And I personally wasn't ready for sex before the 8 week mark.  I had major struggles with breastfeeding and also had a 3rd degree tear to heal from.  So no help on the baby being right there next to you.

    vflux33 said:
    @amylonghorn MY HMO says every pregnancy for the mom, every 10 years for most people, and for anyone who will be around a newborn every 5 years. So either way it sounds like your MIL is OK :)
    This is what I heard also.  The whooping cough part doesn't really last 10 years, so 5 years is recommended.
    Me: 30 H: 30
    Dx: PCOS
    Married: June 2013
    TTC#1: January 2015
    BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
    BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
    TTC#2: June 2017
    BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
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    I’m a STM, but have a question on car seat placement & cant seem to find an answer. What is recommended placement if you have a toddler seat & an infant seat? Unfortunately, we can’t put the infant in the middle seat, so not sure if there is a recommended placement, when having 2 car seats...
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    @kbiala placement is going to be wherever you can get the best install for each seat. Personally, I have DS behind the passenger seat (where he’s always been) but I plan to keep him there so I can hand him things while I’m driving. So DD will be behind the driver seat. My car is too small to put her in the middle, and I’m short so it’s easier for me there as well. 
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    @BrittnieMariee thank you! Very helpful! I’ll make sure we can get a good install. Also, great idea about keeping DS behind the passenger seat to be able to hand him things. 
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    Alright S+TM, did y'all wear regular clothes, PJs or a hospital gown in the immediate postpartum period? I am FINALLY packing my bag but I want to get a feel for what loungewear to pack.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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    @cford08 I haven't started packing yet because I still can't decide what size bag to use. I don't want to pack a roller carry on suitcase and have everyone look at me funny but I also don't want to just use a backpack and not have everything I want/ need. 
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    @cford08 I wore my own night gowns and also had a robe. Agree with @megpeg to be comfy and feel like yourself!! 

    @sarahhedger7 who cares if people look at you funny?! You do you!! If you want to pack a roller suitcase, pack a roller suitcase - my friend who just had her baby had one and I thought nothing of it!! Personally I used a duffel bag, but that worked for me - pack a bag that works for you!!
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    cford08 said:
    Alright S+TM, did y'all wear regular clothes, PJs or a hospital gown in the immediate postpartum period? I am FINALLY packing my bag but I want to get a feel for what loungewear to pack.
    I had a cs and wore the gowns for the first day after because I didn’t want blood getting on my own clothes and my pants were uncomfortable. After that I wore my own pajamas 
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    @amylonghorn @sar_bear Ah, okay, I guess it's more common than I thought. I'll probably get packing next week after the baby shower. It's getting so real now you guys!!!
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