February 2018 Moms

Monday and Beyond B*tchfest | 12.18

2

Re: Monday and Beyond B*tchfest | 12.18

  • ash0625 said:
    Chawk17 said:
    Omg DH left at 6:30 pm last night- to go hang out with a friend. It's 8:42am..and he hasn't returned. I've taken shower, eaten breakfast, did morning bumping. NOW I'm starting to get pissed off.  Where are you DH.
    Now I need to figure out how to handle situation when he walks in. 

    What the hell? That's pretty egregious. No phone call to tell you where he is?
    Yeah. I’d be in a murderous rage/worried sick all at the same time. 
    Is he not answering his cell phone? I'd be so pissed off and worried. I'd also start calling his friend and/or their wife or gf to see what the hell is up. (I'm friends with my husband's friends SO so that would work for me as I have all their numbers.)

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • @eggplantface @ash0625 this has been an issue our whole relationship.  When he's out, I don't exist- it's insensitive and rude. I called him at 2am and no response. Grrr. hopefully when LO arrives he figures it out. 9:20 still awaiting his arrival. 
    I think I'm going with cold shoulder approach. 
  • Loading the player...
  • Chawk17 said:
    @eggplantface @ash0625 this has been an issue our whole relationship.  When he's out, I don't exist- it's insensitive and rude. I called him at 2am and no response. Grrr. hopefully when LO arrives he figures it out. 9:20 still awaiting his arrival. 
    I think I'm going with cold shoulder approach. 
    This is very disrespectful to you!  Did you know He was going to stay out all night? He should have checked in with you before going to sleep and let you know an approx.  Time he would be home.  I think if  it was me,  I'd let all the pregnancy rage loose on him when he walks in the door.  Completely not acceptable ever!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • He arrived at 9:50. With Starbucks and McDonald's breakfast. Said Jim Bean got the best of him and he " fell asleep" ( think Rachel and Ross fight " you fell asleep?").
    I told him he needed to apologize to our 4 year old who waited up all night for his dad ( fur baby).
    I wish dogs held grudges...Moe was so happy to see dad...all is well in dogs world. 
    Human world- dad's in dog house. ....

  • This temp for my replacement....she is retaining NOTHING! We have gone over the same daily tasks for a week and she acts like it's the first time she's seen it. Has taken the same notes for three days now and won't use them because they're "not making sense". I'm scared to death right now about my job. I don't know how I can force her to retain stuff. She keeps saying "well you have a month to walk me through this every day". No....you should be trying to walk yourself through it with the notes you're taking and retaining information so that in a month I shouldn't have to walk you through it! And if she's not 100% up to speed on this when I leave I'm getting the blame for it...nevermind that my boss didn't start interviewing people until late October and didn't hire this one until the end of November! This is just a giant cluster and I'm going to lose it.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • This temp for my replacement....she is retaining NOTHING! We have gone over the same daily tasks for a week and she acts like it's the first time she's seen it. Has taken the same notes for three days now and won't use them because they're "not making sense". I'm scared to death right now about my job. I don't know how I can force her to retain stuff. She keeps saying "well you have a month to walk me through this every day". No....you should be trying to walk yourself through it with the notes you're taking and retaining information so that in a month I shouldn't have to walk you through it! And if she's not 100% up to speed on this when I leave I'm getting the blame for it...nevermind that my boss didn't start interviewing people until late October and didn't hire this one until the end of November! This is just a giant cluster and I'm going to lose it.
    The one thing to keep in mind ( or maybe it's just my mentality) but not your problem when you're gone. And you need to be strong about that. Have your co workers step up and help.  You're doing what you can...but if her brains not connected that's not your fault. 
  • @Chawk17 Oh man, you have more patience than I do for that kind of behavior, if only because I get worried sick if I don't hear from H for a while. Not because I need to know where he is at all times, but because he checks in with me several times a day so for him to NOT do it makes me worry he's hurt or dead somewhere. It also sounds like you have a similar situation to my best friend, or what she used to have, because her husband would stay out until all hours and leave her home alone. Finally she got fed up and actually sent him an email with all of her feelings, and that plus it finally hitting him that he was about to be a father to a real, live baby made him do a complete 180. I really hope your H gets a reality check and shapes up when baby is here!

    @rainafire77 Your temp sounds like two women I work with. They don't retain information at all and ask the same dumb questions every few months. The good news is I don't work in their department so their idiocy is mostly entertainment for me, but those who work with them are really upset. @Chawk17 is right, once you're gone she's not your problem, and make it clear to your boss that you trained her every day for weeks and you can't control her ability to retain information. As a last ditch effort you could create a notebook/guide to your job duties for her to consult and hope that will prove to your boss that *she's* the problem, not your training.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • @rainafire77 I would start letting your boss know now, ideally through written documentation that you are concerned this temp replacement is not going to measure up. That way if it all goes up in flames you have proof you warned them and it is your boss’s problem.

    @Chawk17 OMG that is absolutely unacceptable. What happens if your child has an emergency and needs to go to the hospital during one of his MIA episodes. I feel like it is human decency to let your partner know when you plan to be home, and update them if that changes. I would lose it on DH if he ever tried something like that.
  • magnolia305magnolia305 member
    edited December 2017
    ash0625 said:
    Chawk17 said:
    Omg DH left at 6:30 pm last night- to go hang out with a friend. It's 8:42am..and he hasn't returned. I've taken shower, eaten breakfast, did morning bumping. NOW I'm starting to get pissed off.  Where are you DH.
    Now I need to figure out how to handle situation when he walks in. 

    What the hell? That's pretty egregious. No phone call to tell you where he is?
    Yeah. I’d be in a murderous rage/worried sick all at the same time. 
    Same.  I hope everything is ok---and if it is, he better have a fantastic explanation for wherever he has been! 

    Edit because I didn't reload the page before commenting.  I am glad he is ok--I hope he can understand why you are upset. 
  • @Chawk17 - was the Starbucks and McDonalds for you or him? DH has pulled a couple of stunts like these in the past, and I was furious. I had to call/text several friends of his to find out if he was still alive/ok. I hate being worried! Glad he's ok, though!
  • @Chawk17 I don't want to make things worse, but my friend's DH did this to her for years and it did not improve when they had a child. I wouldn't expect a baby to help a problem - they can only make it worse because now you have a kid to take care of. Once you've calmed down, I'd have a frank conversation about this now. 
  • GoogleMD said:
    @rainafire77 I would start letting your boss know now, ideally through written documentation that you are concerned this temp replacement is not going to measure up. That way if it all goes up in flames you have proof you warned them and it is your boss’s problem.
    This! Did you have any say in who your replacement was? 

  • I would kill DH @Chawk17 if he did that!!

    How have you not strangled her @rainafire77? I agree with others you can only do so much.  If she screws up while you are out the Gif below applies.  Let your boss clean it up


  • GoogleMD said:
    @rainafire77 I would start letting your boss know now, ideally through written documentation that you are concerned this temp replacement is not going to measure up. That way if it all goes up in flames you have proof you warned them and it is your boss’s problem.
    This! Did you have any say in who your replacement was? 

    I did but unfortunately, we didn't get many applicants. Two others who were more qualified turned down the offer. One other woman flat out said if there wasn't a step by step manual for every single eventuality that she just wouldn't do what wasn't written down. (My job is not like that. You learn the basics and have to know how to apply them in different scenarios so it's hard to predict every single eventuality.) So this was all we had left. I'm on lunch now and trying to breathe/calm down so I don't strangle her. Boss says that I'm too much of a perfectionist and expect people to catch on as quickly as I did. Ummmm...thats not it. I've had 15 years to learn and organize this job from scratch since it was created for me. I have a month maybe to show this woman what it took me 15 years to pull together.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • @rainafire77 Ah yes, I've been there - having to hire based on availability more so than qualifications. Maybe give it another week and if things haven't improved, talk to your boss again?
  • @Chawk17 I’m not married and there is no way in hell I would put up with that. How do you even trust that what he says is truthful. I think it’s safe to wonder if he’s really where he says he is. 
  • @Chawk17 I’m not married and there is no way in hell I would put up with that. How do you even trust that what he says is truthful. I think it’s safe to wonder if he’s really where he says he is. 
    He was. He was at his friends house talking football and drinking jim bean. Just drank to much and was stupid for not communicating. 
  • @ldawngirl781 it is my regular doctor and we get a bill If you don't show and don't cancel your appointment. I don't think they can legally deny you health care if you don't pay for it but I agree with the fee! I assume they only get paid if you actually show up for your appointment!
  • GoogleMD said:
    I just had a client no call no show tonight. Insert pissed off face! He will be having a $40 no show fee on his bill at his next session. 
    I wish we could do this at my job! It’s so inconvienet! I had yet another patient show up 30 mins past his time, he wasn’t prescreened correctly so we had to take an extra 30 mins to clear him before I could even start his exam. It would be so nice to charge these patients who continually show up late and take time out of our days!
    Is your office hospital owned vs private? 
    All of my Dr, OB, and pedi are all private and will cancel the apt if you are 15 min late. My husbands back dr and the staff are all hospital employees and don’t cancel late apts (so annoying as people are constantly late delaying everyone else)
    I work at an outpatient facility, so they are more concerned about how many exams they can get in one day versus patient satisfaction with us being on time. They would rather us get patients in and piss off others who showed up on time for their own exams. 
  • DH mailed two packages today (to his siblings) and sent them with overnight express shipping. $50 for two tiny packages that did not need to get there expedited.

    I am pregnant and exhausted and cannot do everything myself! Seriously, I would appreciate the help if it were actually helpful, but I am just pissed. 
  • Chawk17 said:
    He arrived at 9:50. With Starbucks and McDonald's breakfast. Said Jim Bean got the best of him and he " fell asleep" ( think Rachel and Ross fight " you fell asleep?").
    I told him he needed to apologize to our 4 year old who waited up all night for his dad ( fur baby).
    I wish dogs held grudges...Moe was so happy to see dad...all is well in dogs world. 
    Human world- dad's in dog house. ....

    Awe girl, the good part is that he showed up. I’m so glad nothing happened to him and that a cop didn’t show up at your door instead. Always look on the bright side. :) you guys will get it worked out. 
  • Chawk17 said:
    @eggplantface @ash0625 this has been an issue our whole relationship.  When he's out, I don't exist- it's insensitive and rude. I called him at 2am and no response. Grrr. hopefully when LO arrives he figures it out. 9:20 still awaiting his arrival. 
    I think I'm going with cold shoulder approach. 
    This made it's way into my dream last night (I think because it hit close to home with issues I had with an ex).  I'm glad he's home safe.
  • GoogleMD said:
    I just had a client no call no show tonight. Insert pissed off face! He will be having a $40 no show fee on his bill at his next session. 
    I wish we could do this at my job! It’s so inconvienet! I had yet another patient show up 30 mins past his time, he wasn’t prescreened correctly so we had to take an extra 30 mins to clear him before I could even start his exam. It would be so nice to charge these patients who continually show up late and take time out of our days!
    Is your office hospital owned vs private? 
    All of my Dr, OB, and pedi are all private and will cancel the apt if you are 15 min late. My husbands back dr and the staff are all hospital employees and don’t cancel late apts (so annoying as people are constantly late delaying everyone else)
    I work at an outpatient facility, so they are more concerned about how many exams they can get in one day versus patient satisfaction with us being on time. They would rather us get patients in and piss off others who showed up on time for their own exams. 
    Probably because that's how their paycheck is established...quantity over quality. It's all about the money. 
  • I'm sorry I keep bitching about this but it's either here or I scream. Day 4 week 2 of training and once again she's acting like she's never done what we have now done for 4 days! It's literally going to the business banking websites and printing the daily transactions and updating the banking spreadsheets. She took notes yesterday and, rather than use them, is taking the SAME NOTES TODAY! She also cannot read a computer screen. I have to point out every single link and file. I told her she needs to use her notes she took yesterday and she ignored me. I'm about done with this. She's very nice but so not skilled for this job it's ridiculous. And so unorganized and unprepared and has no initiative whatsoever. I am refusing to jump in and lead her on things she's done for 3 days and has taken 3 days of the same notes on. I don't have time for this shit. This is going to drive up my blood pressure. 

    Did I mention she acts like she's never used a computer before? She doesn't know how to close out a window or use the internet. It's insane.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • How does she not know how to use the internet @rainafire77??  My 85 year old father and 7 year old niece can do that lol.  Again how have you not throat punched her??
  • I'm sorry I keep bitching about this but it's either here or I scream. Day 4 week 2 of training and once again she's acting like she's never done what we have now done for 4 days! It's literally going to the business banking websites and printing the daily transactions and updating the banking spreadsheets. She took notes yesterday and, rather than use them, is taking the SAME NOTES TODAY! She also cannot read a computer screen. I have to point out every single link and file. I told her she needs to use her notes she took yesterday and she ignored me. I'm about done with this. She's very nice but so not skilled for this job it's ridiculous. And so unorganized and unprepared and has no initiative whatsoever. I am refusing to jump in and lead her on things she's done for 3 days and has taken 3 days of the same notes on. I don't have time for this shit. This is going to drive up my blood pressure. 

    Did I mention she acts like she's never used a computer before? She doesn't know how to close out a window or use the internet. It's insane.
     that sounds so frustrating.  Could you get your boss to watch her tomorrow morning? So they see what she's doing? 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • I'm sorry I keep bitching about this but it's either here or I scream. Day 4 week 2 of training and once again she's acting like she's never done what we have now done for 4 days! It's literally going to the business banking websites and printing the daily transactions and updating the banking spreadsheets. She took notes yesterday and, rather than use them, is taking the SAME NOTES TODAY! She also cannot read a computer screen. I have to point out every single link and file. I told her she needs to use her notes she took yesterday and she ignored me. I'm about done with this. She's very nice but so not skilled for this job it's ridiculous. And so unorganized and unprepared and has no initiative whatsoever. I am refusing to jump in and lead her on things she's done for 3 days and has taken 3 days of the same notes on. I don't have time for this shit. This is going to drive up my blood pressure. 

    Did I mention she acts like she's never used a computer before? She doesn't know how to close out a window or use the internet. It's insane.
     that sounds so frustrating.  Could you get your boss to watch her tomorrow morning? So they see what she's doing? 
    My boss literally thinks I'm being too hard on her and not training her properly. That I need to give her a chance. Plus she's soooooo busy she doesn't have time to discuss it. She's setting it up for this to be all my fault when this woman doesn't know how to do shit. I keep saying "you took notes on this yesterday. We did printouts. We wrote everything down. You have this." and she just ignores me and acts like this is a brand new thing that she's never ever seen before.

    New thing now....she's acting offended when, after watching her struggle to read what's on the computer screen, I point out where she needs to click or what Excel field she needs to be in. She says "I would have found it." You wouldn't have found it turning to me with a blank "What do I do now?" look on your face!

    8 weeks....I have 8 weeks of dealing with this shit.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • eggplantfaceeggplantface member
    edited December 2017
    @rainafire77 Yes, what @mamaof5already said. Report this to your boss, because I can totally see her saying "But Rainafire didn't show me how to do that!" when she's called out for messing something up. Take notes on what you showed her and give your boss updates about her lack of progress. I'm totally projecting onto your trainee because I work with two women who constantly blame everyone else for not being able to do the job they've been doing for 5 freaking years and I wish we had been better about documenting their training and subsequent stupid questions/fuck ups so their management wouldn't believe them when they say it's not their fault.

    ETA tag
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • @rainafire77 what is your job? It sounds like it is a bookkeeping/accounting role which I can't imagine a temp stepping into without any experience, especially with computers. How did you even find this person who is that computer illiterate. I am feeling for you big time.

    I am seething here with you so keep those updates coming.

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

  • My boss literally thinks I'm being too hard on her and not training her properly. That I need to give her a chance. Plus she's soooooo busy she doesn't have time to discuss it. She's setting it up for this to be all my fault when this woman doesn't know how to do shit. I keep saying "you took notes on this yesterday. We did printouts. We wrote everything down. You have this." and she just ignores me and acts like this is a brand new thing that she's never ever seen before.

    New thing now....she's acting offended when, after watching her struggle to read what's on the computer screen, I point out where she needs to click or what Excel field she needs to be in. She says "I would have found it." You wouldn't have found it turning to me with a blank "What do I do now?" look on your face!

    8 weeks....I have 8 weeks of dealing with this shit.
    Those women I mentioned? One of our colleagues was showing her how to input data in a tracker that she was supposed to have been updating for at least a year. Clearly, she wasn't doing it. So the colleague was showing her how to put in data, and had to show the woman how to copy/paste in Excel. Then when colleague said "ok, now insert a row," she looked at him with a blank look. I just....



    And she's on the same pay level as us. It's mind-boggling what people can get away with when management doesn't do their job. Makes me think I'm a chump for trying so hard to be good at what I do.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • rainafire77rainafire77 member
    edited December 2017
    @sabriel1 Yes it is. And I don't know if she lied on her resume or if she worked on an outdated system. Shes older and doesn't even know how to type by touch and wasn't sure about how to use an adding machine. Supposedly she tested for Excel and scored that she knew how to do beginning/intermediate level. I just haven't seen that competence.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • @rainafire77 if she's computer illiterate and has not mastered the necessary computer skills needed to be qualified for this position then your boss needs to let her go and find a competent replacement. 
  • @Chawk17 I wish we had time but we don't. She was literally all that was left. They ran the ad for 3 months and got a total of 5 responses. One guy lived in Nevada and wanted to work remotely (not possible), one woman was highly competent, lived out of the area and accepted another job after our interview. Second woman was skilled, lived in the area but stated "that job can't be done by just one person". Third woman said if every eventuality wasn't written down ahead of time, she couldn't/wouldn't do it. And then there was this one. She was all there was left. We're very rural and a temp job is not that attractive for people who do temp accounting work. They'd make more money in the Bay Area than here.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • @chucksmom15 The copy/paste and line insertion issue was my coworker, not @rainafire77's, but they sound like they may on the same level of competence. This woman is also older, and she says she's an editor not a software engineer and I'm like "Yeah, not in 2017. You have to know software." Plus one does not need to be a software engineer to know how to use computer programs like Excel.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • @chucksmom15 The copy/paste and line insertion issue was my coworker, not @rainafire77's, but they sound like they may on the same level of competence. This woman is also older, and she says she's an editor not a software engineer and I'm like "Yeah, not in 2017. You have to know software." Plus one does not need to be a software engineer to know how to use computer programs like Excel.

    As an editor, I'm deeply troubled that I share a profession with this woman. 
  • @chucksmom15 The copy/paste and line insertion issue was my coworker, not @rainafire77's, but they sound like they may on the same level of competence. This woman is also older, and she says she's an editor not a software engineer and I'm like "Yeah, not in 2017. You have to know software." Plus one does not need to be a software engineer to know how to use computer programs like Excel.
    I have the same issues daily. I am not asking you write macros, or complex rules/functions, that is my job. I do, however, expect you to be able to input data in an excel spread sheet, highlight, know how to filter a column. I don’t feel like this is too much to ask in 2017, especially when told excel is heavily utilized during the interview.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"