Not sure if this is an opinion or confession but it really annoys me when women on TB say “baby looks just like big brother/big sister/Mom/Dad/etc” from an ultrasound.
Ummm no. Your baby looks just like every other ultrasound baby.
@jhysmath I couldnt disagree with you more. Most of these men are accused of doing and saying terrible, vulgar things and no amount of "flirting" should lead to anything like that.
@Ceridwen77, we use this philosophy when it comes to checking out other people in public, "you can look at the menu as long as you don't cheat on your diet". Sometimes I'll point out another woman to DH because she looks good and put a lot of effort into her appearance that day.
@lincbeesmom Idk... at our anatomy scan with DS we got some really detailed 3D pictures where he very strongly resembles DH, and he still does.
I don’t mean the 3D ones. My SIL had them done with her son that was born yesterday and it’s crazy how detailed they can be. He literally looks just like the 3D scan they did.
@lincbeesmom gotcha. Yeah, you can’t see much of anything on those ones. Those people are for sure full of it.
Also, ITA with @fraufarbissina Flirting doesn’t make any of the advances, actions, or comments okay. At all. IMO, that’s getting close to victim blaming.
Not sure if this is an opinion or confession but it really annoys me when women on TB say “baby looks just like big brother/big sister/Mom/Dad/etc” from an ultrasound.
Ummm no. Your baby looks just like every other ultrasound baby.
Agreed! My husband was comparing my recent ultrasound to one of our first lo and said they looked the same. My response was that they both look like black and white aliens, just like every other ultrasound picture out there!
I apologize for sounding like I'm victim blaming, they're are men doing very inappropriate things, but one (I know there's many that are a lot worse) of Matt Lauren's (I have no idea how to spell his name or really who he was before this came out) is playing the game "fuck, marry, kill" come on PBS played this game with Poldark on their website.
I also had a former coworker recently who would discuss the most detailed sexscapeds with coworkers and have no problem with it at all. Another coworker (40 yr old virgin type) would make a joke after I or other female coworkers would and she would cry sexual harassment.
I apologize for sounding like I'm victim blaming, they're are men doing very inappropriate things, but one (I know there's many that are a lot worse) of Matt Lauren's (I have no idea how to spell his name or really who he was before this came out) is playing the game "fuck, marry, kill" come on PBS played this game with Poldark on their website.
@jhysmath my understanding from the 600000 hours of sexual harassment training that I have to do every year is that the conversation or actions have to make the person feel uncomfortable. It doesn't matter if PBS played that game online. If he said it to someone in the workplace and it made them uncomfortable, it is considered sexual harassment. And discussing sexual relationships at work in front of other people who have said that they feel uncomfortable could be considered sexual harassment as well because it would be considered unwelcome.
I apologize for sounding like I'm victim blaming, they're are men doing very inappropriate things, but one (I know there's many that are a lot worse) of Matt Lauren's (I have no idea how to spell his name or really who he was before this came out) is playing the game "fuck, marry, kill" come on PBS played this game with Poldark on their website.
I also had a former coworker recently who would discuss the most detailed sexscapeds with coworkers and have no problem with it at all. Another coworker (40 yr old virgin type) would make a joke after I or other female coworkers would and she would cry sexual harassment.
The man had a button under his desk to remotely lock the door from the inside, essentially making it so that he could lock women inside with him without having to get up. That’s something I like to call “a red flag.”
@mileswithmyles I agree we have always been taught it's always about the receiver. If they feel harassed, they have a right to report something.
I do agree sometimes someone can do something offensive without being aware but the appropriate thing to do is to stop doing it once someone says something to you. I'm pretty sure these people coming out in the news are because of multiple occasions with multiple women.
@mileswithmyles the person discussing her sexual relationship was the person who claimed sexual harassment. She also got in trouble during the school year for telling a student to stop jerking off when he gets home and do his homework instead.
@jhysmath , sexuality has sometimes been the only way to get ahead for women. That's what happens when infants are given lady killer shirts and women think their husbands have to go to strip clubs to be satisfied. Every element of our world is about men objectifying women.
It all bothers me and I think that's what I've been trying to get at when I say I'm not surprised. It still doesn't make it acceptable.
@jhysmath whether you agree with it or not, she has the right to say that the other person's words or actions made her uncomfortable despite what she might say herself. One another note, she definitely shouldn't be saying things like that to students.
I just want to say that I am also coming at this from the perspective of someone whose SO was wrongly accused of sexual harassment with the accuser hoping to receive a large payoff from the company, and whose SO was also sexually harassed by a male coworker continually and nothing was done about it. I see both sides, but I think it ultimately happens far too often and people don't feel like they can speak up.
I'm coming at the porn discussion from an unusual angle. Both DH and I are recovering pornography addicts. We have both had slip-ups, but we are very upfront about how to stop them from happening again. I was addicted to porn after my first time trying it. I know because I swore to myself I would never do it again, and yet couldn't stay away. It was hell to get myself out, but going through addiction recovery was one of the best choices of my life. ANYWAY, I am really leery of porn. I am also a believer that you can't know if you are addicted to anything until you try to stop.
+1 for not liking stainless steel. It makes me feel like I'm in a factory. +1 for embarrassing pics of kids. I do take waist up pictures of kids in the bath, but I don't post them. I did send pictures of a funky looking diaper rash to a nurse friend, but I needed some advice for my baby asap +1 for sharing fantasies though. DH and I are both bi, so it makes it easy to oogle the same people, usually actors.
AFM I side eye people with Peter Pan nurseries. The bottom line of the story is that not growing up is a tragedy. "to live would be a very great adventure" means he has no plans of living his life. Growing up is sad, but not having kids grow up for whatever reason would be much worse.
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
I'm just going to come here and say that your personal experience is not someone else's. Because you have flirted with a boss as a teenager, means other women who have accused men of sexual harassment are simply taking flirting in the workplace too far sounds fucked up. I am not saying false allegations don't happen, but fuck, now we need to include victims in the blame?
I'm just going to come here and say that your personal experience is not someone else's. Because you have flirted with a boss as a teenager, means other women who have accused men of sexual harassment are simply taking flirting in the workplace too far sounds fucked up. I am not saying false allegations don't happen, but fuck, now we need to include victims in the blame?
If you have time to take a picture and upload it to HBDB, you have time to comment on a Randoms or other thread. I'm keeping my love tits for those who actually comment once in a while.
If you have time to take a picture and upload it to HBDB, you have time to comment on a Randoms or other thread. I'm keeping my love tits for those who actually comment once in a while.
If you have time to take a picture and upload it to HBDB, you have time to comment on a Randoms or other thread. I'm keeping my love tits for those who actually comment once in a while.
@suchaglencoco haha I went back to look too. I think there was only 3ish that I didn’t really recognize
I guess I don't get it. Why show yourself to strangers you're not trying to make a connection with? Same with the u/s thread and it's a boy/girl thread.
@suchaglencoco haha I went back to look too. I think there was only 3ish that I didn’t really recognize
I guess I don't get it. Why show yourself to strangers you're not trying to make a connection with? Same with the u/s thread and it's a boy/girl thread.
@suchaglencoco haha I went back to look too. I think there was only 3ish that I didn’t really recognize
I guess I don't get it. Why show yourself to strangers you're not trying to make a connection with? Same with the u/s thread and it's a boy/girl thread.
As for strip clubs, I went to my first at 21 DH told me we were headed to a restaurant in Montreal that him and BIL really liked. I knew they frequented Montreal and the strip clubs before we started dating, but I never thought the "restaurant" we were headed to would be a step club. We walked in and stopped at the host station and a naked woman walks down the stairs in front of me, I exclaimed this isn't a restaurant is a strip club! And they laughed so much.
I don't mind strip clubs, what I don't like is strippers who make house calls. BIL will always be a bachelor, and for awhile anytime we went to visit for a weekend he'd have strippers over at night to impress his married friends, it was anyways so weird to walk upstairs to use the bathroom at night and have to walk by a naked chick flirting with one of his married buddies whose wives didn't know this was going on. I told DH when his brother got excited to throw the bachelor's party that I don't care if he goes to a club, I just don't want him going to his house.
Afm: my UO this week is as a female even when I was in high school I always used "flirting" with my older bosses to get what I wanted and many of them could probably be told they were sexually harassing me especially when I was 16, but I feel I played a bigger part in the picture and I feel many of these allegations that have come to light lately were probably work place "flirting" gone too far.
Now the dude jerking off in front of people... That's too far. And I'm sure there are plenty of harassment cases, but I feel sometimes women pay a bigger part.
“Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does!” -Hard Candy
I love my stainless steel appliances. I got the fingerprint resistant kind which is so nice, I just feel like it modernizes my kitchen. It was so hard to keep my old white appliances clean!
Im indifferent to porn and strip clubs. I've been to strip clubs, I even flashed the entire crowd at one when I was 21. Hubby doesn't like them, so he had only went once and it was for a bachelor party. Porn, I don't care to watch it, it's not my thing but I know DH does and don't really have feelings about it either way.
Pictures of naked kids, no. I will never do that with my children, bathtub pics will be for me and hubby to have as a ways to embarrass our kids when they get older.
I do send Christmas cards and in fact our Christmas card this year is actually our pregnancy announcement. I do however hate those letters that some people send reviewing the whole year in their family's life. (Johnny was the quarterback for his high school, Cindy got straight A's, Don got a promotion. In March we took a ski trip to Aspen.) Barf. Not everyone's life is perfect like that.
As for people touching my belly, it's already bothering me. The custodian at school thinks it's ok to rub my belly daily and tell me she can't wait until I get bigger. If she asked before she did it, or if there weren't 200 students watching this happen, I may have felt less uncomfortable. I just don't understand why people think that they can rub your belly when you're pregnant? Like it's open season? No one rubs your belly when you aren't pregnant, so why is it that if you are, it's a free pass?
My UO, I hate those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. They all basically have the same plot and one can always guess the ending. I just don't find that entertaining.
@suchaglencoco haha I went back to look too. I think there was only 3ish that I didn’t really recognize
I guess I don't get it. Why show yourself to strangers you're not trying to make a connection with? Same with the u/s thread and it's a boy/girl thread.
FOR THE LOVE TITS
"Girl you know it's true"
Edit: I'm going to be very sad if you don't get this reference and also embarrassed
Speaking as someone who not only was sexually harassed in the workplace but told to stop going to HR about it and also denied a raise because I was pregnant (true story) I can say that it doesn't start with flirting, how a women dresses or anything else. It starts with a man who believes he has power over the woman and wants to exert that any way he can. I would wear loose bulky clothes and scarves to try and hide my chest and men I worked with would actually tell me I should dress in a way that compliments my figure. They never stop.
On the porn/strip club topic I am against it. A lot of that ties into my religion and upbringing though (pastor's daughter)
My UO.... I am already tired of Christmas music. Ugh. There are only so many versions of jingle bell rock I can listen to before I lose it!
I have been to a strip club only once. On my best girlfriends 18th birthday - because we could. We also smoked giant nasty cigars and got piercing. Anyway, we were dressed very provocatively and multiplw strippers asked if we were there to apply for a job. Ha ha. In theory I don’t really care what other people do, but in reality it all seems kind of gross to me. My DH is not into at all, so I don’t really have to think about it.
@suchaglencoco I like you food analogy (because hungry)!! I agree and have done the same. Personally I like that level of comfort in a relationship but it may not be for everyone.
I'm just going to come here and say that your personal experience is not someone else's. Because you have flirted with a boss as a teenager, means other women who have accused men of sexual harassment are simply taking flirting in the workplace too far sounds fucked up. I am not saying false allegations don't happen, but fuck, now we need to include victims in the blame?
@onesmallcoconut I loved Milli Vanilli and think it's totally f-ed up the way they got called out for lip sync-ing. So many people lip sync, I think they could've totally pulled it off. It is also slightly f-ed up, though, the way they were using more attractive people as a cover.....but y'know. The music was awesome. Blame it on the rain.....
Wow, I missed a lot after I left work last night. I'm slightly embarrassed about the tameness of my stainless steel opinion LOL I'm totally okay with porn, I enjoy watching it and it doesn't bother me if MH does. @crazyliblady, I applaud your ability to open up to us about your porn addiction, and I'm proud of you for being able to overcome it. If it is affecting your life, job, relationships, like any addiction, it's obviously not a good thing. But in moderation and as long as all parties are consenting-if you enjoy it, I don't see how it's any different than fantasizing/reading erotica. Strip clubs, same thing. As long as all people are consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with it in my opinion. I've been to a few, usually end up flashing people and/or getting pulled on stage by the dancers, so as long as people are enjoying themselves, eh. Whatever. I definitely don't think the "love tits" opinion is unpopular. I don't love tit comments/pictures of people I don't recognize, especially the super AW ones on ultrasound or it's a boy/girl threads. There was someone in the Moms of Multiples thread yesterday that I wanted to call out, but decided to just move on and let one of the currently pregnant MoMs handle it, if they choose to do so. As for the sexual harassment stuff, I am a trained SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) even though I no longer work in the ER. The training we did for it was very intense and it really made me look at things in a new light. I think it's safe to say that most people have flirted or buttered someone up, so to speak, to get something they want-myself included-and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If it made the other person uncomfortable (for example, an older male teacher could very easily be made uncomfortable in such a situation with an underage girl), then it is sexual harassment. If that same teacher isn't uncomfortable, then what the girl is doing isn't necessarily wrong, but wouldn't be considered sexual harassment. However, it also does NOT give that teacher the right to say/do/insinuate something that then makes the girl uncomfortable. But, I also see what @jhysmath was trying to say, that if someone is flirting with someone else, and that person responds in a comparable way, is it fair for the person who initiated the flirting to then say they feel uncomfortable with the response? There are so many grey areas when you start breaking down individual instances, but overall, it doesn't matter where you fall on the gender spectrum, what you're wearing, or saying, or doing-if someone says or does something that is making you uncomfortable and then DOESN'T change the behavior when it's pointed out that it makes you uncomfortable (That is definitely the most important part), then it is sexual harassment, hands down. Sorry if that seems rambling, it's really hard to put my thoughts into words about this issue.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
As for the sexual harassment stuff, I am a trained SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) even though I no longer work in the ER. The training we did for it was very intense and it really made me look at things in a new light.
@sandbar517 that’s awesome. I’m a pediatric trauma nurse and plan on getting SANE certified. Obviously it’s going to have to wait a little while because of the baby though. How long have you been doing it?
@pandakov I got trained in 2013, but left the ER in 2015, so I didn't do it for very long. And I was only trained (not certified) for adults-I don't think I could handle doing the pediatric exams, especially after having kids.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Re: UO Thursday 11/30
Ummm no. Your baby looks just like every other ultrasound baby.
I meant the black and white 2D fuzzy ones.
Also, ITA with @fraufarbissina Flirting doesn’t make any of the advances, actions, or comments okay. At all. IMO, that’s getting close to victim blaming.
I also had a former coworker recently who would discuss the most detailed sexscapeds with coworkers and have no problem with it at all. Another coworker (40 yr old virgin type) would make a joke after I or other female coworkers would and she would cry sexual harassment.
@mileswithmyles I agree we have always been taught it's always about the receiver. If they feel harassed, they have a right to report something.
I do agree sometimes someone can do something offensive without being aware but the appropriate thing to do is to stop doing it once someone says something to you. I'm pretty sure these people coming out in the news are because of multiple occasions with multiple women.
It all bothers me and I think that's what I've been trying to get at when I say I'm not surprised. It still doesn't make it acceptable.
I just want to say that I am also coming at this from the perspective of someone whose SO was wrongly accused of sexual harassment with the accuser hoping to receive a large payoff from the company, and whose SO was also sexually harassed by a male coworker continually and nothing was done about it. I see both sides, but I think it ultimately happens far too often and people don't feel like they can speak up.
+1 for not liking stainless steel. It makes me feel like I'm in a factory.
+1 for embarrassing pics of kids. I do take waist up pictures of kids in the bath, but I don't post them. I did send pictures of a funky looking diaper rash to a nurse friend, but I needed some advice for my baby asap
+1 for sharing fantasies though. DH and I are both bi, so it makes it easy to oogle the same people, usually actors.
AFM I side eye people with Peter Pan nurseries. The bottom line of the story is that not growing up is a tragedy. "to live would be a very great adventure" means he has no plans of living his life. Growing up is sad, but not having kids grow up for whatever reason would be much worse.
Im indifferent to porn and strip clubs. I've been to strip clubs, I even flashed the entire crowd at one when I was 21. Hubby doesn't like them, so he had only went once and it was for a bachelor party. Porn, I don't care to watch it, it's not my thing but I know DH does and don't really have feelings about it either way.
Pictures of naked kids, no. I will never do that with my children, bathtub pics will be for me and hubby to have as a ways to embarrass our kids when they get older.
I do send Christmas cards and in fact our Christmas card this year is actually our pregnancy announcement. I do however hate those letters that some people send reviewing the whole year in their family's life. (Johnny was the quarterback for his high school, Cindy got straight A's, Don got a promotion. In March we took a ski trip to Aspen.) Barf. Not everyone's life is perfect like that.
As for people touching my belly, it's already bothering me. The custodian at school thinks it's ok to rub my belly daily and tell me she can't wait until I get bigger. If she asked before she did it, or if there weren't 200 students watching this happen, I may have felt less uncomfortable. I just don't understand why people think that they can rub your belly when you're pregnant? Like it's open season? No one rubs your belly when you aren't pregnant, so why is it that if you are, it's a free pass?
My UO, I hate those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. They all basically have the same plot and one can always guess the ending. I just don't find that entertaining.
Edit: I'm going to be very sad if you don't get this reference and also embarrassed
On the porn/strip club topic I am against it. A lot of that ties into my religion and upbringing though (pastor's daughter)
My UO.... I am already tired of Christmas music. Ugh. There are only so many versions of jingle bell rock I can listen to before I lose it!
@onesmallcoconut never be embarrassed of Milli Vanilli
Wow, I missed a lot after I left work last night. I'm slightly embarrassed about the tameness of my stainless steel opinion LOL
I'm totally okay with porn, I enjoy watching it and it doesn't bother me if MH does. @crazyliblady, I applaud your ability to open up to us about your porn addiction, and I'm proud of you for being able to overcome it. If it is affecting your life, job, relationships, like any addiction, it's obviously not a good thing. But in moderation and as long as all parties are consenting-if you enjoy it, I don't see how it's any different than fantasizing/reading erotica.
Strip clubs, same thing. As long as all people are consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with it in my opinion. I've been to a few, usually end up flashing people and/or getting pulled on stage by the dancers, so as long as people are enjoying themselves, eh. Whatever.
I definitely don't think the "love tits" opinion is unpopular. I don't love tit comments/pictures of people I don't recognize, especially the super AW ones on ultrasound or it's a boy/girl threads. There was someone in the Moms of Multiples thread yesterday that I wanted to call out, but decided to just move on and let one of the currently pregnant MoMs handle it, if they choose to do so.
As for the sexual harassment stuff, I am a trained SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) even though I no longer work in the ER. The training we did for it was very intense and it really made me look at things in a new light. I think it's safe to say that most people have flirted or buttered someone up, so to speak, to get something they want-myself included-and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If it made the other person uncomfortable (for example, an older male teacher could very easily be made uncomfortable in such a situation with an underage girl), then it is sexual harassment. If that same teacher isn't uncomfortable, then what the girl is doing isn't necessarily wrong, but wouldn't be considered sexual harassment. However, it also does NOT give that teacher the right to say/do/insinuate something that then makes the girl uncomfortable. But, I also see what @jhysmath was trying to say, that if someone is flirting with someone else, and that person responds in a comparable way, is it fair for the person who initiated the flirting to then say they feel uncomfortable with the response? There are so many grey areas when you start breaking down individual instances, but overall, it doesn't matter where you fall on the gender spectrum, what you're wearing, or saying, or doing-if someone says or does something that is making you uncomfortable and then DOESN'T change the behavior when it's pointed out that it makes you uncomfortable (That is definitely the most important part), then it is sexual harassment, hands down. Sorry if that seems rambling, it's really hard to put my thoughts into words about this issue.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17