UO Thursday 11/30

sandbar517

What's your Unpopular Opinion today?  

sandbar517

I surprisingly thought of mine after seeing @mileswithmyles GTKY about things people go nuts over but you don't care for.  So mine for today is, I don't get the craze of stainless steel appliances.  

mileswithmyles

@sandbar517 Literally the first thing we replaced when we moved in to our house was the white stove, microwave, and dishwasher so they could be stainless steel.  I love it!

I have one I have been saving since this weekend.  I majorly side eye anyone who posts pictures of their child while on the toilet and/or naked on social media.   I don't care how locked down you have that stuff, internet creepers are out there and I think it's poor judgement to do so.  

sandbar517

@mileswithmyles I TOTALLY agree!  About the pictures, not the stainless steel LOL  Actually I don't think stainless steel is terrible, I just generally get annoyed with trends.   People never think to like something until someone else tells them to.  And then when someone else tries something new, everyone suddenly loves that instead.  
Buuuut, getting back to pictures.  I have a friend on FB that is constantly sharing pictures of her little girls in the tub or whatever, with no shirts on, or completely naked and while I agree that it's shameful to sexualize little girls at such a young age, creepers totally exist and I'm not going to make it easier for them to be creepy.  

mileswithmyles

@sandbar517 my BFF's SIL posts pictures of their toddler all the time on the potty or just full on naked.  I agree about not sexualizing them early one, but her Instagram is public.  My BFF also got really mad when her SIL posted a picture of her son with his cousin in the bath without her permission.  The internet can be a scary place.  

I also think in the long term it might potentially be embarrassing for the child.  Who the heck knows where social media will be when they are adults.  I am so glad it wasn't a "thing" when I was growing up.

lincbeesmom

Haha I went through my instagram to make sure I wasn’t being a hypocrite but I totally agree about naked toddler pictures online. I’ve seen a lot of bare butt pictures and bath pictures on my timeline and i wouldn’t feel comfortable putting those pictures of my kid online.

The one bath picture I have of my son on my Instagram was taken from an angle where you can only see from the shoulders up. It was to show the dichotomy of how goofy he was in the bath vs how haggard and tired I looked haha 

onesmallcoconut

My UO going off the topic of photos. I HATE when people post photos of their sick kids. "Oh we had to stay home today, little Johnny isn't feeling well" and the kid is all glassy eyed and pale. Seriously, how would you feel if your SO or child or anyone posted photos of you online for all to see when you're in that state? Hair all wild, maybe some streaky makeup from crying while you've puked, curled up in the fetal position in your jammies. Yeesh!! 

mileswithmyles

@onesmallcoconut that's a good point.  I would kill DH if he did that to me.  

@lincbeesmom bath pictures don't bother me if they are at the right angle.  

thedawkterswife

The Walking Dead and all other shows/movies/merch related to zombies are a waste of time, money, and resources. (They are also fodder for my nightmares!) 

tincupchalice

Coffee is disgusting.

I definitely post pictures of my kids when they're sick and snuggled up on me.  I don't post pictures when they're  vomiting-type sick though.

I take bathtub pics but they don't get posted anywhere.

ivyvines6

Meh most pedophilic material is just pictures of children in general. If you’re posting any pictures of your child on social media you should ensure your account is completely private anyway. (I know I’ve posted a few pictures of J here and there on here, but I’m normally very good about not doing so.) I’m not a fan of displaying genitalia on social media, but it’s nbd to me to see a baby in the bathtub from the belly button up. I would never post a picture of my child on social media that would embarrass me in the future, and I would absolutely delete/make only viewable to myself anything they asked me to. 

My UO is probably going to stir the pot a good bit, but I have no issue with strip clubs or pornography. As long as you and your partner are not choosing those over doing things with your partner, anyway. 

sandbar517

@ivyvines6 not UO for me!  I like both of those things and as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I enjoy strip clubs (or at least have gone to) more than MH.  

ivyvines6

sandbar517 said:

@ivyvines6 not UO for me!  I like both of those things and as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I enjoy strip clubs (or at least have gone to) more than MH.  

I’ve never been to a strip club actually! DH hasn’t been to one since we got engaged either.

rachelg777

@sandbar517 @ivyvines6 no issue here either.  MH will go to one every now and then with buddies and we’ve been to a few together- doesn’t bother me.

lincbeesmom

I guess my UO is that it WOULD bother me if dh watched porn or went to strip clubs

he recently told me his brother is planning his bachelor party in New Orleans for next August and I majorly panicked. I trust him, I’m just insecure and would rather him not see another girls boobs. 

sparklingdiamond

@lincbeesmom I agree, I don't want DH going to strip clubs.

suchaglencoco

I'm fine with porn and strip clubs. DH hates strip clubs because get knows the flirtin isn't real and just seeing boobs does nothing for him. And he'd rather give me singles to buy something sexy to wear over throwing singles at a strange woman, ha.  
He requested no strip club for his bachelor party and I was disappointed for his friends that like to go, but it was his party. 

+1 for being against stainless steel
+1 for having tub photos but nothing below the belt showing 

My UO is I like to push DH to do stuff with his friends so he gets a break. "The guys" are getting together tomorrow night and he originally said no. I told him "you're going". The guys are really great and I like their wives and trust all of them. I know all they'll do is drink a couple beers and watch some sports on tv while complaining about work. And DH needs to get out more. So I'm forcing him to have a playdate I guess, ha. Bonus, I'll get to watch a crap movie without him groaning about it.

ivyvines6

@suchaglencoco I used to do that with DH as well but the last time I did his buddies all did come and he spent the entire time texting me how bored he was and that he would have rather stayed home playing video games and me randomly bugging him. 

nanifrog

To me, the issue with strip clubs/pornography is NOT about fidelity in relationships. Tons of research shows that viewing images like that desensitizes people and it certainly causes the treatment of women we're "suddenly" seeing. I don't have any fears about my husband seeing a woman with a better body or anything. I do have a problem supporting establishments that lead to more harassment and assault and where there are women who are there through sex trafficking (i don't care how much people want to believe they're putting themselves through med school).

suchaglencoco

@ivyvines6, if he texts too much, I ignore him so he has to socialize, haha. And I also make him bring me food home. Win, win.

ivyvines6

@nanifrog I’m not dismissing that aspect, but I’ve known a lot of strippers, and none of them were there by force. I also have personal experience in the porn industry and that’s not been my experience with it. Albeit as none of these industries are monitored or regulated by any kind of governing body, there is a huge rampant issue with that side of it. 

mileswithmyles

I am not cool with DH going to strip clubs.  I am indifferent to porn at the moment, mostly because I am never in the mood anymore and I know that is hard for him.  Not pregnant, I have more of an issue with porn because we have sex pretty regularly, so I am not sure that he needs it.  

silverhope

@nanifrog I agree with you. I really don't like how society objectifies women in general. I dated a guy (unknowingly) with a porn addiction and the relationship became very disturbing. I don't mind terribly if DH goes to strip clubs or very, very rarely watches porn, but porn addiction was a scary thing for me to witness. 

suchaglencoco

Porn is definitely under the "in moderation" camp. And if both partners are OK with it being watched. 
I have definitely pushed for DH to use it alone when I cannot or will not have sex, but he doesn't like to. We honestly mainly watch it together or no at all.

charlestonchew

I don't think its fair to ask your spouse to not watch porn assuming they do not have an addiction. My husband should be able to enjoy sexuality and touch himself whenever he wants. Sometimes you want to masturbate and males are very visual. Masturbation can just be you taking care of business and not have to worry about insecurities or pleasing someone else. I think its unreasonable to assume you are "enough".

fraufarbissina

I don't have a problem with porn.  I'm mostly just so curious about when my husband ever has time to watch it.  I don't like him going to strip clubs, though. The whole idea of them just makes me uncomfortable and thankfully he agrees.  

@suchaglencoco this was only a side note from you but +1 for getting to watch something without your husband's judgment.  I have so many episodes of Vanderpump Rules to catch up on and I refuse to watch them when he's in the house because of how much he huffs and puffs about it.  

suchaglencoco

@fraufarbissina, honestly, I just want to rent the new Kingsmen movie and he hasn't seen the first one (I saw it with my mom). So he'll just ask a bunch of dumb questions that I don't feel like answering. Plus Taron Egerton is a little hottie so I'd rather concentrate on that, haha. 

fraufarbissina

@suchaglencoco ok mine is slightly more embarrassing than yours lol but same idea

suchaglencoco

 oh don't worry, I watch a lot of embarrassing shows and movies. This is just something I want to see and it is a perfect opportunity.

lincbeesmom

fraufarbissina said:

@suchaglencoco ok mine is slightly more embarrassing than yours lol but same idea

Girl please. I’ve been binging RHOC all day since I’m sick. 

cupcakeforme

My UO is I personally don’t find find it offensive if someone wants to touch my bump. No one is really doing it out of malice and I guess I am not that person who gets bothered by touch. I had Hispanic old lady grab my belly and tell me how cute it is and ask if it is a boy. I am not going to be rude to her and if anything it was kind of sweet. I also heard culturally you are more open to touch in Mexico when someone compliments someone (like pet the hair if you say it is pretty, punch their cheeks... etc) 

kpc914

@cupcakeforme I am not "offended" when people try and touch my stomach (or any part of me for that matter)...I just really value my personal space and feel that others shouldn't assume that everyone is ok with or enjoys being touched without permission. Some people are really touchy feely, and that's ok...but, I wish that they would be cognizant of the fact that many people feel differently. 

AFM: I do not feel the need to send Christmas cards to family and friends of just my husband and I (before having kids). Just feels...awkward. 

silverhope

@kpc914 same! I’m not sending holiday cards until we have a baby. No one would want a pic of me and DH on their fridge. (Prob no one but family wants a pic of our future baby either, but we get them from others, so we’ll send ‘em back.)

@cupcakeforme I think punching cheeks is a little too handsy for my taste  JK, I know you meant “pinch.”

Ceridwen77

+1 for stainless steel appliances. 
+1 for no naked baby pics. A friend of mine who has a public insta/FB posts pics of her naked daughter all the time and hash tags them #nakedbaby. Now that’s not a tag I wouldn’t want to click or be associated with! 
+1 for strip clubs and porn. Maybe it’s my UO but men will be men and will watch porn, check out other women, etc whether you want them to or not. So IMO you may as well be involved. Porn is great for spicing things up for us but also when I don’t feel like doing the deed it’s great. My husband won’t go to strip clubs unless it’s the two of us or a bachelor party. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest.  

holli0801

I also dislike stainless bc of finger prints. Finger prints everywhere!!! 

My husband has never been a strip club or porn guy, (but I really wouldn’t care) he does, however, like reading erotica, which I find kind of hot actually... 

I can’t think of an UO we haven’t already discussed right now... I’ll be back 

tincupchalice

I don't send holiday cards.  Every one I get goes in the trash right after I read it.

holli0801

Oh I thought of one... I dislike baby showers ... not other people’s, I just never wanted one of my own. I didn’t like asking people for stuff. I didn’t have a bridal shower either for the same reason. I find them awkward. 

mileswithmyles

@kpc914 we didn’t start sending them until we had DS. 

charlestonchew

@Ceridwen77 its not just men. Many women enjoy porn and looking at very attractive people. DH and I watch porn separately but he does way more than me just based on sex drive. DH and I are pretty open about sexuality.

Ceridwen77

@charlestonchew completely agree but I was just making my comment on the topic related to the others in the thread (focused on men). I also know not everyone on our board has a male SO, but again was just trying to comment on the earlier posts. 

jhysmath

As for strip clubs, I went to my first at 21 DH told me we were headed to a restaurant in Montreal that him and BIL really liked. I knew they frequented Montreal and the strip clubs before we started dating, but I never thought the "restaurant" we were headed to would be a step club. We walked in and stopped at the host station and a naked woman walks down the stairs in front of me, I exclaimed this isn't a restaurant is a strip club! And they laughed so much.

I don't mind strip clubs, what I don't like is strippers who make house calls. BIL will always be a bachelor, and for awhile anytime we went to visit for a weekend he'd have strippers over at night to impress his married friends, it was anyways so weird to walk upstairs to use the bathroom at night and have to walk by a naked chick flirting with one of his married buddies whose wives didn't know this was going on. I told DH when his brother got excited to throw the bachelor's party that I don't care if he goes to a club, I just don't want him going to his house. 

Afm: my UO this week is as a female even when I was in high school I always used "flirting" with my older bosses to get what I wanted and many of them could probably be told they were sexually harassing me especially when I was 16, but I feel I played a bigger part in the picture and I feel many of these allegations that have come to light lately were probably work place "flirting" gone too far.

Now the dude jerking off in front of people... That's too far. And I'm sure there are plenty of harassment cases, but I feel sometimes women pay a bigger part.