April 2018 Moms
lindsye
member
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Thanksgiving b*tchfest
lindsye
member
Look, I have so much to be thankful for and I fully intend to spend time reflecting on it next week. But let's face it: Thanksgiving is also a busy and potentially stressful time for many of us. Feel free to complain about it here.
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Re: Thanksgiving b*tchfest
ETA - Where in WI? DH has good friends we go visit a few times a year in Lake Geneva.
Dh is from gb and we lived in de pere for a while. Good news is flying out of Appleton with kiddos will be a breeze for you!
Im secretly glad dh works retail! He works all day thanksgiving, so the kids are staying home, doing a small holiday meal for dhs lunch break then watching movies the rest of the day! My family is mad I’m not bringing the kids to my grandmas but thanksgiving there is more about a quick meal while the guys hunt. Pretty boring otherwise plus a 4 hour drive round trip alone isn’t exactly how I want to spend the day while leaving dh to fend for himself on his biggest day of the year
@lindsye good luck, traveling with three is no joke and especially with a connection to add to it!
I'm a little sad, I really like large family gatherings (we all get along and there's no drama), but my husband's parents are a little introverted, so I understand their anxiety. Still, I wish we would be all together. I know, I'm a weirdo.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. We got married the Saturday after Thanksgiving for partly that reason.
I am hosting this year. I was really looking forward to it, too.
Long story short DH and his brother have a weird relationship that is insanely competitive. My BIL constantly lectures us on things that are none of this business and things, that frankly, he honestly knows nothing about. The relationship is strained, to put it best.
<<TW>> In early October they announced that they were pregnant and due two weeks ahead of me with a baby girl. I was over the moon for them. I knew they had struggled with infertility for some time and had always wanted a second baby. He actually told DH that he was kind of bummed to know that we were expecting because they expected us to gift them all of our baby gear, so they wouldn't have to buy anything. They also pressured us into finding out what we were having so that in the event we were having a boy, they could receive all of DD's hand me downs. I have NO issues with giving hand me downs, but I don't want to be told to give them to you....Anyhow... it caused even more of a strain on our relationship. Two weeks ago, at a routine appointment, she found out she'd lost the baby at 17.5 weeks. The entire family was devastated and I feel like a complete ass for my frustrations with them. I feel so bad for them.
But they're still coming for Thanksgiving and bringing her best friend. So... it will be a difficult holiday. I don't want to do or say the wrong thing. I am also terrified that the family will get boozy and the resentment will flair up and a fight will break out.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
2 years ago when I was 5 months pregnant with DD, they came for Thanksgiving. The weekend before Thanksgiving DH and I had a wedding out of town. They offered to come early and watch the dogs. We agreed because they had done this for us many times before and it was just overnight. Well, when we returned they were clearly upset about something. We had no idea, after gently complaining about many things, DH went for a walk with his mom. When he came back she was crying and went straight to bed. Apparently, while we were gone they moved the couch and there were dog toys under there and I left a bowl and a cup in the sink (these were literally her words). How could I leave such a mess for them to clean. I was called many names including "lazy b****" and what kind of mother was I going to be. Needless to say they stayed the rest of the trip in a hotel, after my husband asked them to leave. So they don't come for holidays anymore.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
My husband has an uncle who owns a condo in a nearby resort town, and as a wedding gift, he said we could use it for a weekend. It's a gorgeous condo righr on a lake and I was very grateful, so we accepted. We had a lovely weekend, then spent literally 5 hours cleaning it so it was spotless. I even went so far as to fold the blanket on their couch exactly as it was when we arrived. We left a nice thank you card, and wine.
Fast forward a year, and we were in a tight spot in the same town, with a hotel reservation that fell through. It was late at night and we had an infant with us, so my DH asked that uncle if we could just stay overnight before we drove home. Cue a long uncomfortable conversation, in which the uncle says his wife was furious with us for the condition we left their condo in. Apparently her sister went into it after we left and took a bunch of pictures of the "disaster" we left behind. I was so floored and embarrassed and angry that I swore we would never stay there again, even though the they eventually found out his aunt's sister is a crazy evil bitch, and probably trashed the place herself and blamed it on us.
Needless to say, I want nothing to do with that crazy shit.
So this doesn't involve me but it involves my sister and family drama... my step mom is crazy and always stirs up some type of issue. Well apparently my sisters reached out to my Dad and asked what his plans were for Thanksgiving because they are planning to spend Christmas with their boyfriend's families. They never asked my Dad or my step mom to cook or host Thanksgiving Dinner it was more of a "we would like to come by and see you" type of thing. Well last night I see my step mom post this on Facebook:
And she wonders why no one reaches out to her.
@BarefootContessa that’s awful!!! Yeah booze never solves problems, so if that’s added into the equation, then there could be major blowups!! I hope everything stays calm for you!!
@JJMNO1616 I'm sorry but I literally lol'd at that meme. She sounds super crazy. And right, who moves someone's couch?
This is the same sister who reacted to our pregnancy announcement with, "Oh.... cool." and accused my husband of mistreating my DD once the new baby arrives. Honestly, she can GTFO with that bullshit.
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married 5/3/14, TTC ever since
DX: Lean PCOS, Clomid resistant
Femara 7.5 + Ovidrel = BFP! Due 4/15/18
My DHs new job schedule is sucky, so it hashes out that I have to take care of our toddler by myself almost every day of the week except Sunday. Daycare makes this doable, but next week they are closed on Thurs (fine) and Friday (eff!). So I took PTO off, and resigned myself to it. Next my parents announce that they are visiting extended family for Thanksgiving, so my usual go-to adult time pressure valve for tough schedules is goneso. THEN because my in-laws have zero self control and have smeared their house in cancer for the past 40 years, I end up having to host Thanksgiving. Super double eff. Because my husband is doing contract work from home, and is sucky at being clean anyway, now I have to take PTO off the day before Thanksgiving to get a head start on cooking, clean the house, and get things ready.
I am really resentful of burning so much PTO, since every day I waste now is probably another day in Dec I will sit miserable at my work desk with the inevitable winter cold. And all that work and suffering for people who will resent even having to come to my house in the first place, because I am a miserable ungrateful witch who irrationally doesn't want to enter their cancer-soaked home with a toddler while pregnant.
**end whining*
@bchalm welp, at least they're obviously crazy. If that's a "mess" they'd need a full book of notebook paper and several days to document all their grievances with my house. I can't imagine being related to that kind of crazy.
@JJMNO1616 oh fun, what a freaking narcissist! Family want to drop by and visit and she finds a way to make it an offense against her. That takes skills.
@ngolimento that really freaking sucks. I know this is not a stellar parenting recommendation, but could you at least put on a movie or two for your daughter while you clean? It might feel like a special treat for her and I don't know about you, but I can get house stuff done SO much faster without my kids under foot "helping", especially when you want to just get through it so you can actually enjoy time with your family. Obligatory hosting sounds super stressful - I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.
I hate to say such terrible things, but he is a better person now that he is too busy being in pain from a terminal illness to really have his wits about him. The only reason I even let him have any contact with my kid at all is because he is in too much pain to lash out at everyone like he normally does (first time I met him, he prayed at dinner for my SIL to not be so fat and ugly so she could get a man. In front of her).
We aren't going anywhere for Thanksgiving, since we are traveling back east for Christmas. I'll be grateful for some time to relax with my little fam but to be honest I'm sad to miss Thanksgiving at home. My family is the best and I can't wait to see them.
My Thanksgiving problems are so lame compared to some of these! But...I sent a group message out to sister and SIL asking them what they wanted to bring for Thanksgiving this year. A few days later, SIL replies with "what do I need to bring?" umm..hello?? I just asked what you wanted to bring!! So annoying because now anyway I reply is going to sound like I'm being rude.
Thanksgiving is bringing me mixed feelings this year though... TW
Last Thanksgiving I started bleeding and at 2am I ended up having to take an ambulance to the hospital because I was in excruciating pain. I had a miscarriage that they’re not sure or not was ectopic since it was so painful. My second miscarriage and the 1st one wasn’t physically painful like that one. To top it off my son had a 104 fever during all this and it was to this day the only night I had ever spent apart from him. My dad, brother and stepmom didn’t come to the hospital even though I told them I needed them and I haven’t spoken to my stepmom or brother since... it’s overly complicated with a lot of other stuff that went down.
So that was rambling but essentially I’m sad about the 1 year anniversary of all that and so grateful about this new little one growing inside me and also feeling a little irrationally scared about history repeating itself. Bahhhh can we just skip over to xmas?