QUESTION: please don’t kill me- what the heck is a ticker? I know you can add a ticker to your signature- but now we voted for a ticker check in- and I don’t understand it. Can someone’s please explain it to me- I’ve scoured this board to figure it out—- but am stumped. Again if the answer is blatantly obvious I’m sorry- but help!!!
@catftm2018 the ticker check-in is for the day your ticker moves to the next week. So for example tomorrow I will be 6 weeks so my check-in is Thursdays. Hope that helps!
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@catftm2018 lol questions are always good! No worries! When we say Wednesday Ticker Change, we just mean that your new week starts on Wednesday. I think it comes from those ticker things, but don't quote me on that. So if you switched from week 6 day 6 to week 7 on a monday, you'd be with the Monday Ticker Change Group. I hope that makes sense!
Okay ladies, I have gone down a googling rabbit hole. Someone please tell me I'm being crazy. Last Friday at exactly 5 weeks I saw my endocrinologist for my bi yearly check up for my thyroid and he did some extra bloodwork since I told him I'm pregnant. He mailed me the lab results with no explanation on it. Apparently he tested my hcg and it was well over 5,000 at 5 weeks. The Google says I might be having twins and now I'm freaking out. I know it doesn't mean much with only one draw and it varies a lot between women, but last pregnancy I know my hcg was much lower at 5 weeks. Like in the hundreds. Someone please tell me this doesn't mean anything! I'm freaked out enough about how I'm going to support just one extra kid...
@zande2016 I’ve heard similar rumors but I’ve never actually heard it being proven. When i search it it says it’s in range of 5 wks, even on my own results.
@wildtot thank you for posting that. The range of normal really is huge.
NP! My own lab work shows that at 5 wks 217-7138 is normal for 5 wks so i think you’re ok. Crazy how huge the range is!! I think the most important things about numbers is that they are increasing.
Has anyone tried thredUP before. I don’t have many maternity clothes because i borrowed from friends. But now we are states away and would like to find something affordable.
Has anyone tried thredUP before. I don’t have many maternity clothes because i borrowed from friends. But now we are states away and would like to find something affordable.
I haven't but I LOVED Stitch Fix maternity during my last pregnancy. It's fairly affordable especially for just a few good basics.
@wildtot I've used threadUP. I had pretty positive reviews about it. The only bad thing is, since they sell so many brands sizing can be hit or miss. I have gotten stuff that's been way too small or too big. But, thredUP isn't to blame of course. I would recommend! I'm a pretty big couponer and referred a lot of people through instagram and ended up getting $200 in referrals
@runsomewhere is the maternity different than the regular stitch fix? On the regular website they say a piece of clothing usually is $50 or more.. that is a little pricy for me. But I love the concept if the clothes were cheaper!
@runsomewhere is the maternity different than the regular stitch fix? On the regular website they say a piece of clothing usually is $50 or more.. that is a little pricy for me. But I love the concept if the clothes were cheaper!
From what I remember it was a little cheaper than that other than a a dress and a really great pair of pants I bought. I got 3 boxes and kept a couple things from each one then I'd match that stuff with super cheap tops and maxis from Old Navy and Forever 21.
@gspmom21 I have never down stitch fix maternity, but I did think there other clothes were pretty expensive. I did it for awhile, but the quality really went downhill IMO and I probably wouldn't do it again.
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@runsomewhere I am glad to hear you liked the Stitch fix maternity because I'm ordering mine for Dec 23 (merry Xmas to me!). I was getting I box then anyway just switched over to maternity. I'm quite excited! @wildtot I did Craigslist for stuff and got stuff cheap! Or Facebook yard sale groups in your area?
@sopranoali can you tell me what the icon on the app looks like. I tried to find it but there a bunch of wonder week apps.
Red background with baby drawing, kind of has his finger on his chin, lost in pensive thought. Or more accurately, it could be his middle finger, as in f you I’m gonna cry all night
@And846 lol I should start drinking my disability water out of a wine glass!! I'll feel so special. I'm so sad because I don't think we have La Croix here in Canada but all you Americans keep telling me it's so good. Going to Palm Springs today so I will look for it in the grocery store!!!!
eta: I meant sparkling water but keeping the typo because it's funny... clearly I work for a nonprofit and use the word disability a lot!
@sopranoali can you tell me what the icon on the app looks like. I tried to find it but there a bunch of wonder week apps.
Red background with baby drawing, kind of has his finger on his chin, lost in pensive thought. Or more accurately, it could be his middle finger, as in f you I’m gonna cry all night
What's everyone's take on job hunting while pregnant? I had a recruiter contact me the other day about an opportunity that would be a better commute and more money, and I also got a call to interview for a job I applied to a long time ago that would be an amazing commute but I don't know much else about it. I am going to explore both opportunities, as a higher salary and better commute, but I am torn on whether I should really leave my job now, and whether I should disclose my pregnancy if I were to accept an offer. One thing I should mention is, I ideally really want a 12 week maternity leave (and I accept it wouldn't be fully paid, I just want the actual time), but neither of these opportunities, nor my current job, would give me FMLA protection. At the most I am protected for 8 weeks under my state's law. I know I want to leave my current job, but I can't decide if I'm better off sticking it out through the pregnancy and then hunting for something new during leave, or making a move now. Man, adulting is hard! Any one experienced this before? (Sorry, that got long...)
@lindsayleigh1989 I set mine up for "the cheaper the better" as my price point and I usually keep my whole box. When you keep the whole box you get a 25% discount and I end up around $200 for five pieces.
@zande2016 I would have said the biggest consideration would be that you are protected under FMLA. Are you not protected right now because it's a small business? I have found that where I am most companies follow FMLA 12 weeks even if they aren't required too, but that's probably not always true. If it were me, I would probably interview and keep looking since you aren't protected under FMLA currently anyway. You don't have to disclose your pregnancy, and the fact that you are pregnant can't play into their decision to hire/not hire you. If you get to talk to an HR person about benefits (or ask to talk to someone about benefits) you can always ask the questions about maternity leave like you would any other benefit.
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@MrsMiller8588 yeah I'm currently not protected because my company is less than 50 employees, and the other two places are similar size so no protection. During my first pregnancy I tried to advocate for 12 weeks to my boss (no HR, too tiny), and she shot me down. I had to start working again at 6 weeks but she let me work from home until 12 and she thought she was being very generous. This time around my state has a new law that protects all employees for 8 weeks, but I know she won't be willing to give me more time after that. I have no clue if the other two places would be similar, but I'm an attorney and they are small firms that probably don't want to be missing such a big part of their workforce for so long. I just wonder if I disclose when I get the offer if I can negotiate for 12 weeks as part of the salary negotiations. Thanks for your input. I'll definitely at least explore the opportunities and keep trying to find a job at a big company with fmla protection.
@zande2016 Why won’t your current job offer FMLA? What about if used with time off? Doesn’t sound like unpaid leave is a problem to you but would you be eligible for disability and be protected by that?
I’ve been looking for something new for a while now knowing we wanted to try for #2 soon. I was torn between looking for something else in my company or something completely new. But i knew time off would be hard somewhere new. My current company will start offering 10 wks full pay for baby bonding for each parent that works there. My husband also works there. Plus i have a good pay and benefits. I just didn’t like my department anymore. So after a long while i finally got something in a different department. Same pay and benefits but i haven’t told my new manager that i am pregnant yet. I know i want to take more than those 10 wks so I’m thinking of how i can work that out in my new position.
What's everyone's take on job hunting while pregnant? I had a recruiter contact me the other day about an opportunity that would be a better commute and more money, and I also got a call to interview for a job I applied to a long time ago that would be an amazing commute but I don't know much else about it. I am going to explore both opportunities, as a higher salary and better commute, but I am torn on whether I should really leave my job now, and whether I should disclose my pregnancy if I were to accept an offer. One thing I should mention is, I ideally really want a 12 week maternity leave (and I accept it wouldn't be fully paid, I just want the actual time), but neither of these opportunities, nor my current job, would give me FMLA protection. At the most I am protected for 8 weeks under my state's law. I know I want to leave my current job, but I can't decide if I'm better off sticking it out through the pregnancy and then hunting for something new during leave, or making a move now. Man, adulting is hard! Any one experienced this before? (Sorry, that got long...)
If a great opportunity presents itself go for it! Sure the timing may not be ideal but when is timing ideal in life? While I haven't been in the position personally, I've seen pregnant women getting hired who were at various states of pregnancy and it has worked out totally fine.
The only thing I wouldn't suggest is taking on a job that you know you would not be unable to perform while pregnant like something involving heavy lifting or environmental hazards. That in my opinion is a quick way to burn bridges and isn't really fair to employers.
@zande2016 in your case I wouldn't hesitate to take these interview opportunities! It definitely can't be worse that what you currently have and more money and better commute are bonuses! Good luck! Try not to stress too much
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@wildtot I'm one of 4 attorneys at a small law firm, and my boss (managing partner and owner of the firm) didn't want me to be out for 12 weeks. Legally she knew I had no job protection if I didn't come back when she wanted me to. Honestly I'll always resent her for it because I know she could have gotten by without me. Now that my state has a new law, I can take 8 weeks and I think I might be able to add my vacation to it to get to 10 weeks, but I have to look into it more. I'm glad you were able to make a move and still keep all your leave time, sounds like a good move for you. I wouldn't worry about telling them until you're ready.
@runsomewhere I know you're right, I have to do what's right for me. And they can't revoke an offer or fire me because of pregnancy. I just always felt like my current boss resented me because I got pregnant right after starting at my current job, and don't want to go into another similar situation. As messed up as it is, that's reality - especially in the profession and geographic market I'm in. I definitely will pursue these opportunities though. Thanks for your insight.
@MrsMiller8588 I will try not to stress too much, thank you!!
@zande2016 More money and a better commute are huge, really important things. It would be a tough choice for me, but if the 12 weeks are really important to you, it may make more sense to stay where you are since employers tend to be more flexible with long time employees over new employees. Have you checked for the new company on Glassdoor? It's a site where employees rate their companies. Maybe someone has written something about their maternity policies.
@zande2016 what a horrible boss (IMO) you’d think a female boss would be more understanding. I’m sorry she’s putting you through the stress. Definitely encourage to at least do the interviews they could end up being better than you think! Best of luck!!
@morganelizabeth123 one is not on Glassdoor, the other I don't know the name yet (was contacted by recruiter and I won't find out the name of the firm until they decide to interview me). I always check that app though, it's awesome for bigger companies.
@zande2016 I'd go for it. My best friend got a new job when she was four months pregnant, disclosed after she accepted the offer, and it ended up being the best change ever. Her new boss was really great. You never know what a new situation will bring, so I'd go for any opportunities and see what happens. If you don't like it, you can always say no. I definitely wouldn't disclose until after you get an offer, though. Legally they can't rescind, and they also can't discriminate against you if you disclosed earlier, but that's much harder to prove. Good luck!
ETA: I always tell my friend who tends to worry and overthink "don't borrow worry you don't yet have." We can tend to think through every possibility and decide not to go for something before we've even tried if we think it may not work out for us. Try for a job, see if you get it, if you do, THEN you can weigh the pros and cons and see if it's what you want. Until then, you're just weighing out hypotheticals with hypothetical information, and borrowing worry from tomorrow..
Re: Weekly Questions - week of 11/13
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@mrsj1215 glad it helped you too!
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
Edit bc I apparently hit the space bar double all the time and add a random semicolon
eta: I meant sparkling water but keeping the typo because it's funny... clearly I work for a nonprofit and use the word disability a lot!
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
I’ve been looking for something new for a while now knowing we wanted to try for #2 soon. I was torn between looking for something else in my company or something completely new. But i knew time off would be hard somewhere new. My current company will start offering 10 wks full pay for baby bonding for each parent that works there. My husband also works there. Plus i have a good pay and benefits. I just didn’t like my department anymore. So after a long while i finally got something in a different department. Same pay and benefits but i haven’t told my new manager that i am pregnant yet. I know i want to take more than those 10 wks so I’m thinking of how i can work that out in my new position.
The only thing I wouldn't suggest is taking on a job that you know you would not be unable to perform while pregnant like something involving heavy lifting or environmental hazards. That in my opinion is a quick way to burn bridges and isn't really fair to employers.
Good luck!
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@runsomewhere I know you're right, I have to do what's right for me. And they can't revoke an offer or fire me because of pregnancy. I just always felt like my current boss resented me because I got pregnant right after starting at my current job, and don't want to go into another similar situation. As messed up as it is, that's reality - especially in the profession and geographic market I'm in. I definitely will pursue these opportunities though. Thanks for your insight.
@MrsMiller8588 I will try not to stress too much, thank you!!
ETA: I always tell my friend who tends to worry and overthink "don't borrow worry you don't yet have." We can tend to think through every possibility and decide not to go for something before we've even tried if we think it may not work out for us. Try for a job, see if you get it, if you do, THEN you can weigh the pros and cons and see if it's what you want. Until then, you're just weighing out hypotheticals with hypothetical information, and borrowing worry from tomorrow..