@ldawngirl781 What @rainafire77 said. Move forward with the expectation that you're buying everything you need (because no, you can't "expect" anyone to buy anything for you), and if they offer after you've bought whatever it is they're offering, just tell them you got it already and suggest something else they can gift you. If it's too late and you have everything, there's always things like diapers.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@ldawngirl781 My inlaws offer to buy big ticket items. For DS they bought a top of the line reclining chair for DS's room. This xmas, MIL has offered to buy the double stroller. My parents are more the "traditional" gift givers. My mom actually only buys things for her house since she watches DS some, which I appreciate. My parents did buy the video monitor for our house, which was nice. @rainafire77 had a good idea by casually suggesting that you are starting to buy xyz and see what they say. I don't think it's expected--but take them up on it if they offer!
Thanks all! I have been proceeding with most other purchases and step-MIL knows we've got almost everything that's an absolute need. And she knows we've been stroller shopping, so I guess I just have to admit defeat and buy it.
I know she'll be the really helpful after the baby comes with household stuff (cleaning, meals, etc.), so I need to just appreciate that for what it is.
@ldawngirl781 Our parents were very different in when they offered anything. My inlaws asked about getting us a stroller pretty much immediately after they found out we were expecting (their first grandkid). Then they appeared at our house one day with it not even a week after DH told them which we wanted... and then they were upset that we had already bought a carseat and insisted on paying for it (twist my arm). My mom, on the other hand, is very casual about everything in life and while she offered to get us the crib at month 6, just last week she's like, oh I didn't order it, just go ahead and order everything and I'll give you $$. I'm thankful either way, and we were prepared to buy the big stuff ourselves, but sometimes it just depends on the gift giver's personality on when they do things. We did basically no shopping besides the car seat (on sale) before the baby shower, and now we're working on what we have left to get.
So does anyone else lurk other BMB to see if our BMB is being talked about, especially on FFFC day? You know like how we do sometimes if there's a particularly juicy thread or topic? Just me then? Alrighty.
I lurk fffc for entertainment. There is, however, a certain randoms thread right now that mentions our BMB. (With screenshot)
My parents bought us the car seat for DD and said in order to be fair they would put the same amount of $$ towards DS's crib. We've had the crib for 2 months and they haven't offered anything. I really could have used that $$ as we also had to buy DD a new mattress for her big girl bed at the same time but I would NEVER bring it up.
My in laws on the other hand, have yet to buy anything for my daughter including Christmas or her birthday so I have zero hopes of them helping with anything.
Andrea (31), married Aaron (36) September 2012
Parents to fur babies Tiki and Gizzmo and 2yr old Georgia IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI EDD: Feb 5, 2018
So does anyone else lurk other BMB to see if our BMB is being talked about, especially on FFFC day? You know like how we do sometimes if there's a particularly juicy thread or topic? Just me then? Alrighty.
I lurk fffc for entertainment. There is, however, a certain randoms thread right now that mentions our BMB. (With screenshot)
So does anyone else lurk other BMB to see if our BMB is being talked about, especially on FFFC day? You know like how we do sometimes if there's a particularly juicy thread or topic? Just me then? Alrighty.
I lurk fffc for entertainment. There is, however, a certain randoms thread right now that mentions our BMB. (With screenshot)
Ummmm...where is said mention? I’m totally curious!
I say get what you need. You can save receipts in return if needed as well. I was told to expect lots of gifts for my first (first grandchild on both sides) and that was definitely not the case. My mom paid for his crib, changing table, and mattress, which I am VERY thankful for. My my husbands grandmother bought our travel system (also very thankful for). While those are big purchases we received almost nothing else, including clothes.
and no one offered a thing for DD, and so far nothing for DS2. I don’t expect them to at all. But I don’t think people are always as excited as we think.
So does anyone else lurk other BMB to see if our BMB is being talked about, especially on FFFC day? You know like how we do sometimes if there's a particularly juicy thread or topic? Just me then? Alrighty.
I lurk fffc for entertainment. There is, however, a certain randoms thread right now that mentions our BMB. (With screenshot)
Ummmm...where is said mention? I’m totally curious!
Since it's MY post they screenshot...cough *July* cough. And by posting my opinion on my own bmb & just reading without posting anything on their board, I'm a potential shit starter on THEIR board.
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I think it's hysterical that they are all OMG I can't believe they lurk and yet they had to lurk to get that screen shot. Just gonna say we haven't banned anyone for nothing. I was gonna comment but it's not worth my time.
So does anyone else lurk other BMB to see if our BMB is being talked about, especially on FFFC day? You know like how we do sometimes if there's a particularly juicy thread or topic? Just me then? Alrighty.
I lurk fffc for entertainment. There is, however, a certain randoms thread right now that mentions our BMB. (With screenshot)
I went straight to July 18 and wouldn’t you know. You know for not being shit starters I was spot on for who you were talking about...
Yeah.. Also I thought it was against tou to post screen shots but whatevs. Pretty sure it's not against the law to "lurk." It's funny that I mentioned that there was a UO in *that bmb* that was the total opposite of mine and pondered whether the poster had lurked and saw my UO. (Kinda funny that was the same damn person that posted the screen shot.)
Yeah.. Also I thought it was against tou to post screen shots but whatevs. Pretty sure it's not against the law to "lurk." It's funny that I mentioned that there was a UO in *that bmb* that was the total opposite of mine and pondered whether the poster had lurked and saw my UO. (Kinda funny that was the same damn person that posted the screen shot.)
I thought it was too but I'm not going to be "that" person. I save my reporting for the truly heinous.
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I think we’re pretty tame actually. We only call out drive bys. But they deserve it for being ridiculous.
Its only against TOU to post screen shots of private messages, I think.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
So does anyone else lurk other BMB to see if our BMB is being talked about, especially on FFFC day? You know like how we do sometimes if there's a particularly juicy thread or topic? Just me then? Alrighty.
I lurk fffc for entertainment. There is, however, a certain randoms thread right now that mentions our BMB. (With screenshot)
I do, or if I got caught up on ours I'll read others.
I think I’m almost over the whole personal grooming thing. We have a Christmas party tonight and we got a hotel room to make a night of it and the amount of effort it took to groom, i really think I’m just done. Hahaha
@pandappanderson I hear you. I just tried on the dresses for DH's Christmas party in a few weeks and I was like "and I still have to put on pantyhose (to hide the varicose veins) and shoes and makeup?!" Hopefully it's a good time at least!
Andrea (31), married Aaron (36) September 2012
Parents to fur babies Tiki and Gizzmo and 2yr old Georgia IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI EDD: Feb 5, 2018
We have a Christmas staff party today and we have our usual babysitter and she asked if it would be okay if our DS helped make "cupcakes" for Tori's 14th birthday and if Tori could come with her! I said of course since a 14 year old could probably watch my DS alone. The babysitters shows up with her dog (which I'm allergic to) and no 14 year old! I checked back in my messages and she said she was making "PUPcakes" and her dog is Tori and she is 14! I'm glad I didn't ask why she had her dog with her!
We have a Christmas staff party today and we have our usual babysitter and she asked if it would be okay if our DS helped make "cupcakes" for Tori's 14th birthday and if Tori could come with her! I said of course since a 14 year old could probably watch my DS alone. The babysitters shows up with her dog (which I'm allergic to) and no 14 year old! I checked back in my messages and she said she was making "PUPcakes" and her dog is Tori and she is 14! I'm glad I didn't ask why she had her dog with her!
That is hilarious haha, I wouldn't have been into the dog being at my house but I don't know what your options are after that ha ha.
DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018
@sabriel1 I wasn't too impressed but I did tell her that she could bring her. I just didn't realize she was a dog! We also had no other option! None of our family lives within 30 hours so the dog is at my house! Luckily my DS loves dogs! And we will never have a pet dog so he will enjoy it
I don't think yoy can redirect anyone to help. With my 1st (through 5th) we just bought what we needed.
This time with My new husband's family My fil tried to hand me a pile of cash when they found out i was pregnant, to buy baby stuff, but i refused it. I thought it was weird. I was like 12 weeks pregnant?
Since then my mil has commented MANY times how expensive the things her daughter insisted on for her baby were, and how different her daughter and son in law are from me and her son . Mil also mentions how many things her daughter wanted for the baby and that it was excessive and how huge the babies wardrobe is...
I feel so awkward around my in-laws now when they ask what we need or want, like i shouldn't pick new or pricy items. I recently just made a public Pinterest list that she can look at if she wants or ignore.
Got my pump today (extremely early)! None of the Medela parts work with it...oh well, but the Avent bottles we use do attach. Winning! I also took out the Medela pump and just put my Spectra pump in there. Since there is a light on the Spectra, it will work out just fine! I still have 3 months of cooking this baby, but I’m getting pretty excited!
I’m trying to decorate for Christmas, but my back hurts and I’m tired every five minutes and my patience for this fake greenery is so thin. So now I’m on the couch watching Greys Anatomy. DH will just have to help when he gets home.
So DS’s favorite movie this summer was Moana and we literally watched it at least once a day for at least two months until I couldn’t take it anymore and I switched it to Frozen. But those two months were the worst of my morning sickness so apparently now I have a very strong association between Moana and nausea. DS is watching it now and I feel sick. So weird.
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
Re: Weekly Randoms | 11.13
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
I know she'll be the really helpful after the baby comes with household stuff (cleaning, meals, etc.), so I need to just appreciate that for what it is.
My in laws on the other hand, have yet to buy anything for my daughter including Christmas or her birthday so I have zero hopes of them helping with anything.
IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI
EDD: Feb 5, 2018
and no one offered a thing for DD, and so far nothing for DS2. I don’t expect them to at all. But I don’t think people are always as excited as we think.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Hey, I actually was actually able to gif!!! I just impressed myself!
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I went straight to July 18 and wouldn’t you know. You know for not being shit starters I was spot on for who you were talking about...
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Its only against TOU to post screen shots of private messages, I think.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
On another note DD had her first night terror and it was so hard just laying there not being able to do anything to comfort her.
i really think I’m just done. Hahaha
IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI
EDD: Feb 5, 2018
I said of course since a 14 year old could probably watch my DS alone.
The babysitters shows up with her dog (which I'm allergic to) and no 14 year old! I checked back in my messages and she said she was making "PUPcakes" and her dog is Tori and she is 14! I'm glad I didn't ask why she had her dog with her!
We also had no other option! None of our family lives within 30 hours so the dog is at my house! Luckily my DS loves dogs! And we will never have a pet dog so he will enjoy it
This time with My new husband's family My fil tried to hand me a pile of cash when they found out i was pregnant, to buy baby stuff, but i refused it. I thought it was weird. I was like 12 weeks pregnant?
Since then my mil has commented MANY times how expensive the things her daughter insisted on for her baby were, and how different her daughter and son in law are from me and her son . Mil also mentions how many things her daughter wanted for the baby and that it was excessive and how huge the babies wardrobe is...
I feel so awkward around my in-laws now when they ask what we need or want, like i shouldn't pick new or pricy items. I recently just made a public Pinterest list that she can look at if she wants or ignore.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
Got my pump today (extremely early)! None of the Medela parts work with it...oh well, but the Avent bottles we use do attach. Winning! I also took out the Medela pump and just put my Spectra pump in there. Since there is a light on the Spectra, it will work out just fine! I still have 3 months of cooking this baby, but I’m getting pretty excited!