When we lost 2 dogs in 6 months (One was old and one was a horrible surprise), my husband was so upset he had to see a animal loss specific grief counselor - yes there is such a thing. We found her at our local university’s animal hospital. She recommended time each day (or as often as you can manage) to sit and think about the dogs. Yeah it makes you sad, but that’s the best way to really process it instead of stuffing the feelings down only to have them pop up on their own years down the road. If he’s reading articles, then he’s processing the loss, so it sounds healthy to me.
@sparkingdiamond, keeping my fingers crossed for you. @MIssustexas I'm so sorry about your beautiful pup. My dog died in September, and it's been harder than I thought it would be. @cups4 Where are ANY adults?? And why do they always wait until nighttime to fix the crime? You're just giving the criminals hours of a head start! It's one of the least annoying shows my girls watch, but it's still an annoying kids show. I can't STAND the way Romeo talks. Ugh. @charlestonchew Tagging on mobile is definitely a bitch, but I definitely miss more of the conversation type check ins we had on TTGP. The only thing that I don't like about either the due date or day of the week ticker change check ins is that you only get to know that small subset of people who either change weeks the same day you do, or are due in the same week you are. I think maybe we just have a very small group of people who participate on a regular basis, and maybe that's why it feels slow. People don't know each other very well yet, so we only see posts from the same 20ish people every day.
Glad everyone liked the GTKY, I was cringing so hard reading the other BMB's answers that I figured it would be a good one for us.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@theletlers haha I didn't mean in this specific thread! lol I meant more in check-ins. I feel like people post what they are going through, but don't really take the time to start a convo with others. It may just be me, and I am guilty of just love titting everything and not responding...but, the responses and the back and forth was one of the best parts of TTGP. You started to get more in depth convos. I don't necessarily think this board is slow, per se. Just not always very engaging. But, I think now that some of us are feeling less nauseated and exhausted we might end up having more engagement.
That being said.... in the words of Christopher Walken "I gotta have more gifs baby!" or was it...cowbell?
@MissusTexas I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is never easy and I can totally relate on grieving differently than your spouse. Although, my husband and I are flipped compared to you two. I am an empath and feel ALLLLL of the feelings. Even before I got pregnant....crying was a regular thing for me. I don't know how to explain it....but, I think I feel things in a very magnified way and am very comfortable showing them. My husband is the complete opposite....he was in the military, deployed to the middle east several times, he has a Purple Heart, and lost a lot of friends. So, for him, he has to look at death and grieving differently than most people. Pets, people, etc. He oftens sees it like you do, in that he is grateful they are no longer suffering. I think the best you can do for your husband is just be understanding in that the way he grieves is different from you. My aunt passed away a month and a half ago....I talk about her every day, cry because I miss her every day, but am also happy that she is no longer suffering (she had metastatic breast cancer for three years). Sorry for the long ramble..but, I think you are doing it right by supporting your husband in his grief....just trust that he will, in time, feel less sad and more grateful your pup is free of pain. Again...I am so sorry for your loss.
@charlestonchew feel the same way about mobile tagging, 99% of the time I'm on mobile at work and it is such a pain to tag that I just don't. I know that is lame but what can I say...I'm lazy! Also, if I get behind on a thread and there are like 50 new posts I just give up...again, I know I'm lazy
As I was reading everyone's posts, I felt like something was off. Then I realized it's because @ivyvines6 hasn't love titted every single post! I'm sure she's having a great time though!
@missustexas there is, it should be the same way you would do it on desktop. Just copy and paste the link into the "picture of the mountain with the sun" box. Although I've heard some people have to actually save it onto their phone and then copy and paste it into the "paper with the folded over corner" box.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
I had an awkward moment this weekend. I took the toddler to the grocery store to let H get some grading done. We were checking out and the cashier said how cute he was and was being super sweet. She asked if I wanted to have another and I started saying, "Um, I'm not sure, babies are so hard!" which was my usual go to before we considered having a second. I got so far as the "umm....I'm" before I realized I'm almost 15 weeks pregnant. I then changed to, "well he's going to have a sister soon." But all I could think of was, girl, you are actually pregnant, get it together!
@sparklingdiamond I think it’s always good to get a second (or third) opinion. Even though the doctor may have the same diagnosis, he/she may have other options for dealing with the issue. Especially doctors with specialities in the field. It can’t hurt to get a second opinion. Hope you are doing okay today. Take some time for yourself if you can.
@sparklingdiamond I think they are worth looking into. Many doctors have different approaches or treatments and it can’t hurt to see what another one has to say.
Absolutely get a second opinion. Different doctors look at the same problem in different ways, and it never hurts to get a fresh perspective. Also always look at what the doc's speciality is, where they went to residency and where/if they did a fellowship. It makes a difference especially with rarer cases- depending on their experience or where they trained they may be more familiar than others with different ways to treat or try.
@sparklingdiamond I am late to the game but yeah second opinions can be so important. I have had so many medical errors in my family in the past couple years. They sent me home from the hospital with appendicitis insisting it was just a stomach bug, they missed my grandmother's cracked pelvis on an xray, and other smaller ones too. Mistakes do happen.
@sparklingdiamond I totally get that, but even if they have the same conclusion, they may have other treatment options or more insight, etc. that would make you feel better prepared or cared for. Especially if you can find one who has dealt with this before or has a specialty in it.
**TW- anatomy scan complications**
My sister's SIL is due in December and at her anatomy scan they found baby has an omphalocele, which is where the organs grow in a sac outside of the body. She had some grim news at first, but things have progressed well enough that she will be able to take baby home normally after her csection and have surgery at 6 months. I know this is not the exact same thing you are going through, but I wanted to offer some positives anywhere I can
Also, this may be super early and I'm just thinking ahead, if I have short term disability and qualify for 8 weeks, I absolutely cannot go back to work during that time, right? So, as a teacher, I will only get docked pay for the month I am not at school and then summer, but I will still get my 8 weeks of disability pay because I qualify for that and I'm still under contract during that time. I was considering going the last few days of school because they would be easy and were only half days, but that would void my STD right?
ETA- you would think I would be able to talk to my HR benefits person, but I have not met a more hostile person who hates helping people that she is actually in charge of who have benefit questions.
@cups4 That's a really good question. So do you guys not have to use your sick time? With DS, I had to use my sick time before I could qualify for disability. Since I had so much of it, I never ended up going on disability and I didn't return at the end of the school year. We get paid 12 months and I didn't have my pay affected.
But I do remember a newer teacher coming back the last day of school because she said she "had to" in order to get paid over the summer. I remember talking to my union rep about it to get some clarification because it all seemed really confusing
@mileswithmyles I do have to take sick days first, mandatory, but we still qualify to use STD if we paid for it for being out. So essentially, you could make money if you had those sick days. Between baby #1 being born and wiping all of those days I had accrued out, and sick days between him and I, plus all of my appointments with the OB and high risk MFM, I don't think I will have any left anyway by the time May rolls around.
Re: Weekly Randoms 11/6
I agree about replying on mobile, it's a pain. And I bump on mobile 90% of the time.
@MIssustexas I'm so sorry about your beautiful pup. My dog died in September, and it's been harder than I thought it would be.
@cups4 Where are ANY adults?? And why do they always wait until nighttime to fix the crime? You're just giving the criminals hours of a head start! It's one of the least annoying shows my girls watch, but it's still an annoying kids show. I can't STAND the way Romeo talks. Ugh.
@charlestonchew Tagging on mobile is definitely a bitch, but I definitely miss more of the conversation type check ins we had on TTGP. The only thing that I don't like about either the due date or day of the week ticker change check ins is that you only get to know that small subset of people who either change weeks the same day you do, or are due in the same week you are. I think maybe we just have a very small group of people who participate on a regular basis, and maybe that's why it feels slow. People don't know each other very well yet, so we only see posts from the same 20ish people every day.
Glad everyone liked the GTKY, I was cringing so hard reading the other BMB's answers that I figured it would be a good one for us.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
That being said.... in the words of Christopher Walken "I gotta have more gifs baby!" or was it...cowbell?
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
and.... now I'm crying at my desk....
Mobile most of the time here, too... is there a way to gif while mobile?
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
ETA: Lame
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
**TW- anatomy scan complications**
My sister's SIL is due in December and at her anatomy scan they found baby has an omphalocele, which is where the organs grow in a sac outside of the body. She had some grim news at first, but things have progressed well enough that she will be able to take baby home normally after her csection and have surgery at 6 months. I know this is not the exact same thing you are going through, but I wanted to offer some positives anywhere I can
ETA- you would think I would be able to talk to my HR benefits person, but I have not met a more hostile person who hates helping people that she is actually in charge of who have benefit questions.
But I do remember a newer teacher coming back the last day of school because she said she "had to" in order to get paid over the summer. I remember talking to my union rep about it to get some clarification because it all seemed really confusing