@syssa-o I get that comment all the time when I tell people I had no meds when giving birth to my daughter. And then they ask what I’m doing this time, and I tell them no meds, and they act like I grew a unicorn horn. I agree with @DDRRT1982 that it’s just them being insecure.
@syssa-o and @ShawnnaO I get that reaction quite often too. It's like why do you care???? Then more often than not we get into a whole thing about how I only made it to the hospital 20 minutes before DS was born so even if I had planned for an epidural there wasn't enough time and then they get doubly shocked that I'd like to avoid it with #2 because the only possible reason I could have for not getting one was timing.
@syssa-o@DDRRT1982 Yes! I am so tired of the judgmental reactions from people. I have no problem with women going for an epidural, but folks have been so weird when I tell them I'm thinking about not having one. My mom, for one, was really condescending about it, and others have pretty much said that I'll get one whether or not I want one. It's infuriating and makes me not want to discuss it with my friends and family...
One of my husband's friends was telling him that I must to go to a hospital, and use a doctor for the birth, and if I didn't, that I was endangering our lives and putting my baby at risk. Right after saying all this, he told my husband that I'm the one in charge of my body, and I shouldn't let other people force their opinions on me, because I'll know what to do "instinctually". So infuriating. I don't plan on having a home birth or using a midwife(Even though I'd like to). But if I did go that route, I'm sad that so many people around me would shame me and make my life hell about the "potential risks". My mom would go into hysterics, and the rest of the family would blame every future childhood problem on the home birth. It really makes me sad. I mentioned it once to my mom, and she had to tell me every problem she could think of that could happen. She's a nurse, and thinks the hospital is the safest place, which is true if I need a c-section or something else happens. But I really don't feel comfortable in hospitals, and I'm not looking forward to the hospital experience
@pregobeth Are there any birthing centers around you? It's usually a decent in between option for home birth vs hospital. The two I know of in my state/area are connected to a hospital by a bridge pretty much so if there are any issues you can quickly get transferred over.
Another potential option, but it won't take you out of a hospital setting is having a midwife delivery at a hospital (if that's available in your area). In my state, CNM (Certified Nurse Midwives) deliver at hospitals but offer a more relaxed (as much as it's possible) experience. For a low risk pregnancy they're more than capable and you tend to get more one on one attention from them as well. I think they can do pretty much anything aside from a C-Section or use forceps/vacuum. I'm seeing a CNM and had my first delivery with one as well. I couldn't be happier with the care I get, and there are doctors right there in the hospital if needed.
Just so there is no confusion, I am four for four with getting an epidural with each birth. I approach each birth as an individual experience and each time I chose intervention. My original comment sounded like I might of gone med free. I was just agreeing with @syssa-o and people being judgemental about both sides.
I went into labor not wanting an epidural, then the contractions got so bad I was begging for one, but labor was going so quickly at that point they couldn’t give me one. Epidurals kind of scare me which is why I’m going into this one with the intention of not wanting meds again, but honestly, to each their own. You’re not causing harm by getting one so I don’t understand the judgement/people’s obsession with knowing.
I agree that pain management is personal for each person and nobody should question somebody else's decision. I actually got comments from my own mom when I told her I was planning on getting the epidural with DD's birth. She said something along the lines of-"Oh I gave birth to both you and your sister without an epidural and I'm still here. You have a high pain tolerance you'll be fine". I shut that down pretty quick and she hasn't said a work since because I pointed out that DD was perfectly fine and wonderful even with me having an epidural. The point is getting the baby out safely however it's done!
I’m team you-do-you when it comes to pain management and labor. If you want to know my story and why I *personally* chose to go med free ((with the option in my mind to change my mind)), then sure I’ll share. And I hope you go talk to someone who had one and to someone who had complications from one. Get all the perspectives. And then make your own informed choice. But whether or not you had an epidural has no bearing on anything that would make me judge you. I’m tired of judging.
I'm forcing my DS to watch It Takes Two with me. He keeps saying to turn it off. But I'm feeling nostalgic and I'm sick of watching The Good Dinosaur. It's bringing back all my childhood memories of the Olsen twins!
@day38 Yep, there's a pretty cool birthing center in the same city as the hospital I'll be going to, but it's not where my OB practices. I mentioned the place to my mom, and that's when she went on her rant about needing hospital care and doctors. There are doctors at the birth center. And the staff specializes in births. So I don't see a problem, but I would have to be moved via ambulance if I needed a C-section. So I kind of understand her point, but I feel like that place would be more relaxed and focused on a good birth versus a fast one for the doctor's convenience.
I do plan on touring my hospital and asking some of the questions from the hospital thread - there's been so many great contributions on there! I'm hoping the tour will help allay some of my fears. I think I've just read way to many horror stories about hospitals. (The general Bump questions area is a dangerous place to hangout, I had to stop reading that stuff. So many scary stories.) My SIL's first birth was at a hospital in OK City, and she got a terrible staph infection during her stay. She did a home birth for her second, and had a great experience. I think for my first though, I need to be in a hospital in case I need a c-section since I'm pretty petite. If all goes well and I have a vaginal birth, I'd consider a home birth for a second child.
I begged for an epidural with DS and there just wasn’t enough time. Then I had a pretty decent labour without so I decided that with DD I would skip it. Halfway through I was begging for one but the nurse kept telling me I didn’t need it. Hindsight, she pressured me out of it and that pisses me off. This time, I’ll go in with the mindsight that I don’t need one but idgaf if I do end up wanting/getting one.
Like others have said, it really doesn’t matter or affect anyone if one chooses to medicate during labour. Like shit. When someone I know has a baby it doesn’t even occur to me to ask whether they had an epidural or not. It’s more so “holy shit! That’s great, good for you”
but we all know that everyone else in our lives knows best, amirite?
When do we typically create the birth announcement thread? Third tri? Later? Or do we wait until there’s actually a birth and then make one? This isn’t my first pregnancy on The Bump but this is my first in a BMB, so I’m not sure about timing of those?
I feel like if we get it up by the end of the month we should be good.
Here is what February has:
STOP & READ BELOW
***Please do not comment on this thread unless it is your birth announcement***
CONGRATULATIONS!
Use this thread to share baby's name, birth date, birth stats, pictures, and etc. Please share your birth story if you are comfortable doing so!
**Please try to use spoiler boxes on pictures!**
"Love Its" are welcome and appreciated on this thread, but please refrain from commenting with anything other than your story and baby's/babies' details
***Keep in mind there is a 30-day limit on editing anything you post, and pictures cannot be deleted at [after] this time. Any photos and/or information posted becomes proprietary to The Bump, granting the XO Corporation rights to use this in any way they choose (see https://www.thebump.com/terms.html).
Do we like this? Any way we can get everybody to use spoiler boxes for pictures? Probably not...
Also can pictures not be deleted in edits before 30 days? Or is it saying you can't delete pictures after the 30 days? Should "at" be changed to "after"?
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
I’m going in knowing I want an epidural. I’ll go as long as I can without, but I want to enjoy labor and the experience, and for me, I wouldn’t be able to if I was in horrible pain and wanted to kill anyone that talked too loud or said the wrong thing .
As far as births at home or birthing centers.. I know they can be wonderful and end in a healthy birth most of the time(my mom even had 2 of us at home), but I will never ever personally deliver anywhere besides a hospital that has a NICU and adult ICU docs for myself if needed. Being in the healthcare field, I have seen way too many things go wrong that if they hadn’t been in a hospital, Mom and/or baby most likely wouldn’t have made it. I absolutely don’t judge anyone that chooses to, it’s just not for me.
@becausescience I think it's a good idea to suggest the spoiler boxes, but I agree with you that not everyone (or even the majority of people) will end up using them. And I think changing the word "at" to "after" makes more sense. The way I interpret that sentence is that you can't edit the post/remove a picture included in the post after 30 days because at that point it becomes property of The Bump. I think the post can be edited/pictures can be added/removed at any time before the 30 day mark.
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: May 2008 DD Born: March 2018 DS Born: April 2019 Due with #3 December 2020!
I am all into the you do you birthing philosophy: I was induced with pitocin with DS and it was awful and I needed something to take the edge off. Nubane was great and had worn off by the time it was time to push. With DD the nurse tried to make me get an iv block put in when I got to the hospital and I refused. She told me it would be harder later when my contractions were stronger and I told her no again. Later that day when I was pushing she told the nursing student I was a rarity and it was few and far between that she eve saw a woman give birth with out anything pain meds. Whatever you need to do to get through it is what you should do.
Yeah...I don't get the judgment about intervention/drugs (or none) at all. I'm going into L&D planning on utilizing nitrous only, but mainly because I'm super needle phobic and the idea of a spinal injection terrifies me. Obviously if I'm unable to cope I'll get one, but I'm going to try to get through without. I've been perfecting my resting bitch face for when people start giving their opinions about what kind of L&D I should have...
l am all for everyone doing what’s best for Mom and baby. l went into giving birth to DS not wanting meds and ended up needing an emergency c section when the umbilical cord was wrapped around him *TW* and his heart rate was declining with every contraction. It was the best/scariest day of my life.
For the record, just because I went med free with DS, I don't care in the slightest what other moms use for pain management. It's a personal decision, there are many factors involved, and there's no right answer. I just firmly agree there shouldn't be judgement in either direction.
@npkat: I went in to my first labor with that same plan but my nurse suggested that, if I was completely sure I wanted to get an epidural, to get it while I was still comfortable. I got an epidural around 4cm and the timing was perfect. The contractions I was having during insertion weren't terrible so I was able to remain more relaxed and still. They also had time to figure out the right dosage so that I was comfortable but could still tell what was going on with my body, which made pushing much easier. I really think it's a big factor in why I had a pretty perfect epidural experience and was able to really enjoy my labor and delivery. Every labor experience is different but I think she gave me some really sound advice for my situation.
I just spent way too much time on Dr Google looking at signs and causes of preterm labor. My husband needs to come home so I can be occupied by something other than my own anxiety.
Thanks for the great advice @notthefather. I'm thinking 3-5cm will probably be the magical number for me to get the epidural. I am pretty go with the flow with things, so I am not uncomfortable with the fact that my "plan" may change.
@ShawnnaO lol step awaaaaay from the keyboard girl it will get you all in tizzy for no reason.
My dad has been on cloud 99999 since the Astros won the World Series last week. He has really been talking out his gourd lol he's going to retire, and go to all the games he can next season, and....on and on. It's endearing and alarming at the same time
@cford08 I really considered deleting my google chrome app so it’s not so easy for me to look things up hubs gets home tomorrow, I’ll be fine after that
pregobeth I also have a not-quite-fear but strong discomfort with being in the hospital. One thing I have learned from other mom's in the area is to take a childbirth class from an independent source like a doula or birth coach instead of the hospital. The course the hospital offers well tell you "how they do things" and make it sound like that's just the way it is. In fact almost all of the things are options. If you can't afford to pay for a birth class, I would still get a book that goes over things to think about and how to write up your birth preferences, so the medical staff know. I'm told they will respect that, but if you don't have one written, they will try to do things by protocol and are less likely to listen to you in the moment. Your dr/midwife can even put the plan in your record so s/he is aware and prepared. (A big part of my fear relates to control esp over my own body.)
I'll post it in here so I don't resurrect Monday bitch fest lol! so Monday I was upset that my husband lost his job and his old boss is a TW... -_-
Well, he just got hired at an accounting firm for way more money than what he was making he and he starts Monday! we are so thrilled and I feel so much better than I did last week. Even our LO knows my excitement, she hasn't stopped kicking since he called to tell me about an hour ago! So thank you to all the ladies for your support and well wishes!
Just catching up... haven't had a chance to get on the computer this week yet! @triplejplus1 noooo to Target closing!!! We have a third one within 20 min opening at the beginning of the new year... I can't believe there are some closing! @crossfitbabybump congrats to your hubs... what a relief!!! All those talking about epidurals/not epidurals. My STM advice is just keep an open mind either way! Most likely your "birth plan" won't go exactly as planned. I wanted to try going med free but it was not going to happen for me because of a lonnggg induction. No judgment here though whatever you may choose!!
@muggle621@scoogy19 Oh I know! It will be a sad day for sure. I don't want to believe it! I don't understand! Our mall has gone under so thats really all that is left! I will have no reason besides groceries to drive all the way into town! So sad!!!
@becausescience - he gets two weeks PTO so that is all covered! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all, lol. So much has happened the last few days. I need a nap hard core! hahaha!
Re: Randoms - 11/5
Pregnant with #2:
One of my husband's friends was telling him that I must to go to a hospital, and use a doctor for the birth, and if I didn't, that I was endangering our lives and putting my baby at risk. Right after saying all this, he told my husband that I'm the one in charge of my body, and I shouldn't let other people force their opinions on me, because I'll know what to do "instinctually".
I don't plan on having a home birth or using a midwife(Even though I'd like to). But if I did go that route, I'm sad that so many people around me would shame me and make my life hell about the "potential risks". My mom would go into hysterics, and the rest of the family would blame every future childhood problem on the home birth. It really makes me sad. I mentioned it once to my mom, and she had to tell me every problem she could think of that could happen. She's a nurse, and thinks the hospital is the safest place, which is true if I need a c-section or something else happens. But I really don't feel comfortable in hospitals, and I'm not looking forward to the hospital experience
Another potential option, but it won't take you out of a hospital setting is having a midwife delivery at a hospital (if that's available in your area). In my state, CNM (Certified Nurse Midwives) deliver at hospitals but offer a more relaxed (as much as it's possible) experience. For a low risk pregnancy they're more than capable and you tend to get more one on one attention from them as well. I think they can do pretty much anything aside from a C-Section or use forceps/vacuum. I'm seeing a CNM and had my first delivery with one as well. I couldn't be happier with the care I get, and there are doctors right there in the hospital if needed.
Pregnant with #2:
I do plan on touring my hospital and asking some of the questions from the hospital thread - there's been so many great contributions on there! I'm hoping the tour will help allay some of my fears.
I think I've just read way to many horror stories about hospitals. (The general Bump questions area is a dangerous place to hangout, I had to stop reading that stuff. So many scary stories.)
My SIL's first birth was at a hospital in OK City, and she got a terrible staph infection during her stay. She did a home birth for her second, and had a great experience. I think for my first though, I need to be in a hospital in case I need a c-section since I'm pretty petite. If all goes well and I have a vaginal birth, I'd consider a home birth for a second child.
Like others have said, it really doesn’t matter or affect anyone if one chooses to medicate during labour. Like shit. When someone I know has a baby it doesn’t even occur to me to ask whether they had an epidural or not. It’s more so “holy shit! That’s great, good for you”
but we all know that everyone else in our lives knows best, amirite?
Here is what February has:
Do we like this? Any way we can get everybody to use spoiler boxes for pictures? Probably not...
Also can pictures not be deleted in edits before 30 days? Or is it saying you can't delete pictures after the 30 days? Should "at" be changed to "after"?
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
As far as births at home or birthing centers.. I know they can be wonderful and end in a healthy birth most of the time(my mom even had 2 of us at home), but I will never ever personally deliver anywhere besides a hospital that has a NICU and adult ICU docs for myself if needed. Being in the healthcare field, I have seen way too many things go wrong that if they hadn’t been in a hospital, Mom and/or baby most likely wouldn’t have made it. I absolutely don’t judge anyone that chooses to, it’s just not for me.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
The way I interpret that sentence is that you can't edit the post/remove a picture included in the post after 30 days because at that point it becomes property of The Bump. I think the post can be edited/pictures can be added/removed at any time before the 30 day mark.
Married: May 2008
DD Born: March 2018
DS Born: April 2019
Due with #3 December 2020!
eta- that's not sarcasm. legit - thank you
With DD the nurse tried to make me get an iv block put in when I got to the hospital and I refused. She told me it would be harder later when my contractions were stronger and I told her no again. Later that day when I was pushing she told the nursing student I was a rarity and it was few and far between that she eve saw a woman give birth with out anything pain meds.
Whatever you need to do to get through it is what you should do.
Pregnant with #2:
EDD March 12, 2018
My dad has been on cloud 99999 since the Astros won the World Series last week. He has really been talking out his gourd lol he's going to retire, and go to all the games he can next season, and....on and on. It's endearing and alarming at the same time
The course the hospital offers well tell you "how they do things" and make it sound like that's just the way it is. In fact almost all of the things are options. If you can't afford to pay for a birth class, I would still get a book that goes over things to think about and how to write up your birth preferences, so the medical staff know. I'm told they will respect that, but if you don't have one written, they will try to do things by protocol and are less likely to listen to you in the moment. Your dr/midwife can even put the plan in your record so s/he is aware and prepared.
(A big part of my fear relates to control esp over my own body.)
I'll post it in here so I don't resurrect Monday bitch fest lol! so Monday I was upset that my husband lost his job and his old boss is a TW... -_-
Well, he just got hired at an accounting firm for way more money than what he was making he and he starts Monday! we are so thrilled and I feel so much better than I did last week. Even our LO knows my excitement, she hasn't stopped kicking since he called to tell me about an hour ago! So thank you to all the ladies for your support and well wishes!
My DH started a new job when I was pregnant with DD and they agreed to let him have 2 weeks (unpaid...) as he wouldn't have enough PTO.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Congrats @crossfitbabybump
@triplejplus1 noooo to Target closing!!! We have a third one within 20 min opening at the beginning of the new year... I can't believe there are some closing!
@crossfitbabybump congrats to your hubs... what a relief!!!
All those talking about epidurals/not epidurals. My STM advice is just keep an open mind either way! Most likely your "birth plan" won't go exactly as planned. I wanted to try going med free but it was not going to happen for me because of a lonnggg induction. No judgment here though whatever you may choose!!