FTM Questions for STM+ - November

cait5413

elcd458 said:

How can you guys tell what body parts of baby are where? I have always had pregnant friends be like "oh, there's his butt" or "I feel her foot right there" but I have no clue what sort of lumps and bumps are what.

I can't tell. I guess that when baby sticks out a big part, it's probably the butt, but it could be the head (i don't know if baby is head-down or not). I generally can't tell what is a punch vs. a kick, either. I definitely can see lumps protruding or moving, but I have never seen a hand print or footprint pop out with either DD or this one (though I have seen videos of other bellies where it is clear!), so no clue. 

It's normal for baby to be more active when you are less active, so when you lie down to sleep and get still, that prompts the dance party. All babies sleep in small chunks day and night when they are born and have to learn to sleep more at night and less during the day. 

skc040512

@elcd458 during my first pregnancy, I was told that DD was rocked to sleep by my movement during the day (or at least that keeps her a bit more calm, if not knocked out), so when you start to relax at night, the baby tends to wake up more and be more active. Also, you tend to feel babies move more when you're laying down on your side. DD never mixed up night and day, so I think it's more dependent on the kid than on how they behaved while you're still pregnant.

kyrwyn

@elcd458 Since my OB that our LO had turned head down, I've noticed a different in intensity between kicks (OW) and punches (ow).  Also when he sticks his butt out it's a much bigger displacement than a foot, and if I push on it (at the top of my bump) I also feel pressure down at my hip/pelvis -- not sure what would happen if he was head up and I was squishing his head.

MJDsquared

I also can't tell the difference between kicks and punches. If what I think is her butt really is her butt, she would be head down. I get painful rib jabs and painful pelvic jabs...I guess that would be kicks to my ribs and punches to my cervix? Lol.

elcd458

@Skcobb Good to know! Although my day is only marginally more active than my night (telecommute desk job) so...? Maybe LO is just gonna be SUUUPER
chill 

skc040512

@elcd458 My job was fairly sedentary before DD was born, too...and she is totally a feral toddler, so good luck! Maybe yours will be calmer than mine because someday I swear I have birth to a monkey on speed

Tennis11785

I'm amazed that you all can tell different body parts. Cause I can't tell a kick from a punch from a headbutt from a butt. I jut feel movement. 

shellac835

I think it also might depend on where the placenta is...like if you have an anterior placenta maybe it's harder to distinguish body parts? 

splsmama2016

@failuretofly what about the snissing? Lol. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s just going to happen haha. it wasn’t this bad with DD1. 

As far as the under boob pains go, I haven’t worn an underwire bra in months. I think maybe a year ago in my best friends wedding? But I love my sleep nursing bras because they’re soft (aka they don’t stick to my nipples as they leak) and they’re just slightly tight enough that they support the girls. 

failuretofly

@splsmama2016 Go see a pelvic floor physical therapist!!! I was consistently snissing in my 2nd tri and barely at all now after seeing one and following her recommendations! They're also sometimes know as a women's health physical therapist. 

dilbert890

I can tell where the baby is because I can feel the outline of a foot pressing against my tummy and when I press it, it’s hard, small and about the size of a foot. 

I feel like I’ve received tons of sleep sacks. How’s many do you really need? 

failuretofly

@dilbert890 one for each size/season... If you want you can do 2 of each then you can use one while the other is in the wash. DS is 22 months and we've had 4 so far, and he still sleeps in one, but he still fits in the heavy one we bought last winter.

dilbert890

Thanks! That's great to know and  a good number to go by. I will inventory them when I start organizing my shower gifts

jesrude

@whiska I would also recommend asking your hospital if they have pillows available. With my first they had hospital grade BrestFriends nursing pillows.  Which I personally prefer over Boppy pillows, it's all personal preference.  That way you know if they have any, which type they have, and if you want to bring yours.  We found on during my hospital tour with DS1 they had BF pillow, so I didn't bring anything.  I forgot to ask this time, but I plan on packing it and leaving it in the car just in case. (I live in a new city and am delivering at a new to me hospital, otherwise I wouldn't even bring it).

casace

@shellac835 I thought I was in the clear only to realize after I gave birth that I developed stretch marks right above my belly button. It was kinda shiny before birth but I didn't notice. They weren't too bad though 

skc040512

Ok I really don't want to be that person, but I'm going to do it anyway. How can you tell if you lost your mucus plug vs. just having a bunch of discharge? I never lost mine with DD1 (or at least never saw it), but I had a freaking ton of discharge this morning (all at once and none since). No blood, or I would have called the doctor. I'm at the point where I can't tell if they're actual possible "soon" labor symptoms or just wishful thinking on my part...

cait5413

Skcobb said:

Ok I really don't want to be that person, but I'm going to do it anyway. How can you tell if you lost your mucus plug vs. just having a bunch of discharge? I never lost mine with DD1 (or at least never saw it), but I had a freaking ton of discharge this morning (all at once and none since). No blood, or I would have called the doctor. I'm at the point where I can't tell if they're actual possible "soon" labor symptoms or just wishful thinking on my part...

You can google images, but you need a strong stomach, if so! It's more "blobby"? Hard to describe. I will add the caveat that losing the plug doesn't necessarily mean labor is imminent. I lost mine (or at least big pieces) over a few days leading up to my induction. 

skc040512

@cait5413 oh I know it's not a sign of immediate labor...im just looking for any light at the end of the tunnel lol

anewadventure

@dilbert890 personally i'm a fan of having at least two sleep sacks per size / season (cotton vs. fleece ones, is what i mean by season). when your baby gets bodily fluids of some form all over the sleep sack in the middle of the night, it's rough when you don't have another one to put on. 

your "season" could match up with outdoors or be related to your internal house temperature habits. or a little of both. the nursery in our house is for some reason the most impossible room to condition. in the summer it is the hottest room and in the winter it is the coldest room. my sister, on the other hand, keeps her house at a legit 64 degrees at all times, so she always needed heavier-weight sleep sacks for her LO and didn't bother getting two types. 

cait5413

@skcobb Just didn't want you to get your hopes up too high, because with DD, once that started happening, I was like, "she's coming soon!" and then....not really. 

MJDsquared

What thermometer(s) should I get? I've read that rectal thermometers are the accurate way to check a newborn's temp. So should I buy a rectal thermometer? After that, do I need any specific type of thermometer? We have my BBT thermometer and some old one that I hate and should throw away, so I want a new general thermometer anyway. I'm also considering one of the forehead ones for toddler-hood...any recommendations? Or do those all suck? Lol.

failuretofly

@MJDsquared rectal temps really are the gold standard for the first 3 months, especially the first month. After that axilla is pretty standard. Unfortunately most temporal/tympanic ones on the market are pretty crappy, so I wouldn't trust them (as a nurse). and REALLY, you can technically use the same thermometer for rectal/axilla/oral, it's more of an ick factor for having more than one versus type/style of thermometer lol They do make neonatal ones that have a ridge around them so you can't insert them too far for rectal temps though, which comes in handy for the FTM who is freaking out because their baby is sick and they are scared of putting something in their bum haha

cait5413

@MJDsquared I never took DD's temp rectally. They always asked for a temp from under her arm. We do have one of the Exergen forehead thermometers, and it is much quicker, but the doc always asks for under the arm temp, so if I take it on her forehead and it seems high, I have to take it again under her arm. We used the thermometer they gave us at the hospital, but it is SLOW, so i just bought a new one, but haven't had to use it yet. Your BBT one should work, depending upon how long it takes to give a result. 

whiska

@MJDsquared During our class the nurse said that axillary temps are what most pediatricians ask for around here, so it might just depend on your provider.  Also the book we got with the class said you shouldn't use the temporal one until 3 months and the ear one until 6 months.  My sister surprised us with a pricier ear thermometer at the shower, but I'll still get the regular digital thermometer for the early months.  

shellac835

STM's, what is it like when the baby "drops?"  Is it obvious when it's happening, or is it gradual and one day I'll just notice he's lower? Last night I was feeling a lot of more sudden pelvic pressure (it's gone today) and was curious if that was happening, but don't really know what it's supposed to feel or look like.

Marley629

@MJDsquared (IMO) rectal temp is the best for the first year.  When using rectal temp vs ear or forehead temp with DS1, I have had the temp be off 2-2.5 degrees which is sometimes the difference between treating or not treating a fever.  We used the Vicks rectal soft flex one.   

Amber_Waves

My MIL wants to take a family vacation when her daughter is visiting from overseas. Baby will be 7/8 months at that time. Any recommendations for the type of vacation that works well for parents & baby at that age?

skc040512

@Amber_Waves my only suggestion for vacation would be somewhere within driving distance (and preferably under 4 hours). You end up having to bring so much extra stuff with you for the baby, I can't imagine trying to fly. I'm sure there are ways to pack lighter, but when we traveled with DD, we had to bring a pack n play for her to sleep in, practically an entire box of diapers, her high chair, etc. Also, driving anywhere with an infant takes a whole lot longer than you plan for. And of course blow outs are going to happen because it's so freaking inconvenient (DD had a blow out on a 6 hour trip to Atlanta that turned into 10 hours. DH had to change his clothes because it was EVERYWHERE. lol)

anewadventure

@Amber_Waves that's tough. on the one hand, it's a good age because your baby isn't walking yet, and subsists primarily on breastmilk or formula. however, LO should be taking two daily naps, which is rough to manage on vacation. (i'm a sleep schedule stickler, YMMV)

lots of babywearing, and a good stroller, can help a lot depending on the type of vacation you guys go on. not sure what type of family you have - are we talking sightseeing? beach? mountains? 

Amber_Waves

@anewadventure well, I am a hiking/museums vacationer, but MIL & SIL are resort/cruise/3-hour dinner vacationers.  We're so not compatible on this point. I'm just trying to figure out what will work the baby, personal preferences aside.

whiska

Am I crazy or does a cruise seem very doable with a 7/8 month old? You get on the boat and you’re just there - food is copious, your room is accessible all the time in case of meltdowns, blowouts, etc., they have a doc on board. 3 hour dinner seems a bit crazy though  

Not to be a Debbie Downer but I’m also a fan of the hiking, city exploring, museum vacations @amber_waves and I can’t see myself pulling that off with a baby without a LOT of stress. But that’s me. I feel like if we go on vacation next year it will be a resort or cruise. 

cait5413

Amber_Waves said:

My MIL wants to take a family vacation when her daughter is visiting from overseas. Baby will be 7/8 months at that time. Any recommendations for the type of vacation that works well for parents & baby at that age?

We took DD on a trip at 9 months. We did the east coast--boston, cape cod, NH coast, and Maine. Driving is usually ok if you can plan the stretches around baby's naps. We would only drive 2-3 hours at a time, which is usually about how long she'd nap, so it worked pretty well. We did hit a lot of different spots, which I don't really advise--constantly moving to new locations threw off DD's schedule a bit so none of us were well-rested. If you pick one central location, though, traveling with that age is really not bad. A small stroller and some sort of baby-wearing device and you can go, go, go. She was also pretty good on the plane flights, but avoid long layovers if you can at all help it--if you can find an appealing location with a direct flight, go for that! I also recommend Marriott residence inns--the kitchenette is a godsend for warming bottles or baby food if you need to and having the fridge to store stuff in. Some also have adjoining rooms, so the bedroom is separated from the living room/kitchen, so we'd set up the pack n play or crib in the living room and close the door between us, which let us all sleep better, or if we were in one without a door, put DD in the kitchen at night for a little more separation. Of course, if you go somewhere where you'd all be staying in a condo or renting a house, that would also be convenient.  

elcd458

@Amber_Waves  if your ILs are more the leisurely vacation type, I know most companies that do, say for instance, rental beach houses, also partner with local companies that will allow you to rent the other necessary supplies like crib/PnP, high chair, linens/towels, etc.  That way you have the option to fly if it is somewhere more distant without having to haul your entire life.  Not sure if you are in the cloth diaper camp but I know my SIL who is a cloth diaper queen only used disposables when traveling - made it easier to pack/replenish when needed on vacation. 

blueskies17

STM’s- did you find that there was any correlation between when you went into labor vs. your mom/sister? My mom went two weeks overdue with my older sister (never went into labor and the induction meds didn’t work) + my sister went overdue (with twins!) and had to be induced as well. This all makes me a bit nervous about what will happen with me..!

failuretofly

@BlueSkies1512 well, my mom went in to labor with me on her due date, and my brothers (twins) were born around 35 weeks. I went into labour with DS at 39 weeks on the dot, and well, this one is still cookin! haha My aunt on my mom's side had her oldest 3 weeks early, then i *think* #2 was on time. So there may be some correlation? I wouldn't mind if this babe came a few days early too lol

ridedatide

@BlueSkies1512 I'm not sure as i am a FTM but i will say that i've been having contractions since about 30 weeks that at first started when i was walking for a while now they seem to be happening more often and for no reason at all. When i asked my mom about this she said she did not have a single contraction before being induced with me and only had contractions the day she went into labor with my brother. I also was the first in my family to have a miscarriage. All of the women in my family have been late with their first. 

blueskies17

@failuretofly it does seem like there is some correlation there! Oh it would be amazing to have the baby on the due date, or a couple of days earlier. I'm afraid of going two weeks overdue and then having inductions fail on me.

@rideatide *tw* I'm sorry about your miscarriage. I've had two (and my mom and sister each had one as well). Here's to hoping that our rainbow babies don't take too long past their due dates to arrive!

lavashiner

@blueskies17 I was 12 days late, my mom was right on time with both me and my sister, and my sister's son was born on his due date! I was going to be induced at 42 weeks and was very worried, but DD 1 came in under the wire without induction! 

Fingers crossed no one here goes that far past the due date!! I'm with you, due date or even a week early would work for me.  I'm sending secret signals to this baby, telling her she can come anytime after I eat a ton of turkey!! I might try acupuncture as I get closer to due date along with getting a membrane sweep, which I didn't do the first time around. 

ShyTonia

Vaporizer or humidifier for nursery?

Marley629

@blueskies17 My mom had me almost a week early and I was induced with my son 9 days late.  She ended up having 6 c-sections after me so I don't know how those pregnancies would have progressed.   My sisters (4 out of 5 that have kids) all went a few days before due date and so far I've been the only one to go past my due date. ETA: So far I've also been the only one that experienced IF as well.