IF Testing & Treatment - Week of 10/30

madspunk

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another.  Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation. 

Diagnosis (If you've been): 

Cycle/CD: 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)

How are things going?

Any questions? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year?

[Deleted User]

<p>Diagnosis (If you've been): Azoo</p><p>Cycle/CD: ??? / 0+1 !!!  :D </p><p>Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WFFET</p><p>What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)  FET scheduled for 11/17</p><p>How are things going?  Okay.  Things have been crazy stressed around our house, so trying to take some steps to woek some of that out... meanwhile I've started Estrace and Wednesday is my first lining check!</p><p>Any questions?  I think I already know the answer to this, which is maybe could go either way????  But Thanksgiving will be 6dp5dt, so I am wondering what my chances are of turning a test so soon.  I feel like there's no point in testing before 5dp5dt, but I did get some 10miu cheapies from Amazon so.... ???</p><div><p>GTKY:  I sent out a couple mini Halloween care packages, so we pretty much have taken care of our candy fix already at this point lol. We also binge watched ST2 this weekend, and will probably find some other spooky programming to enjoy.  But we don't have a sidewalk, so we probably won't get any trick or treaters again this year.</p></div>

kiwi2628

Diagnosis (If you've been): Unexplained

Cycle/CD: 18/4

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Letrozole and TI

How are things going? Ugh, warning- DD post ahead- so I had an u/s and BW yesterday for cycle 6 and I found out there is a chance we might not be doing IVF this year because of FUCKING INSURANCE. Basically, they want a negative HCG test prior to auth-ing the IVF cycle, and that all takes 10 days. My RE's clinic won't start a stimming cycle after Dec. 2nd (so no one is doing an ER/tranfer on christmas or new years). Basically that gives me from when my period starts (assuming I O on CD 12 like normal, then I will get AF on Nov 22nd) to Dec. 2nd to suppress using estrogen or BC, get insurance auth and get the drugs and start stimming....I don't know if its gonna happen. I know that waiting an extra month and a half to 2 months isn't a big deal in the big picture, but when you have been waiting so long and you were thisclose, only to have it possibly swept away is depressing the shit out of me. Plus that means that we will have to start over with insurance with our ridiculously high deductible...it almost will have been financially and emotionally smarter to just have paid OOP for IVF and done it this year if we have to push it off to next year. Like...WTF is the point? I have a call into both my nurse and the financial counselor to see if they can somehow make this work. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaaaaaaaaaase

Any questions? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year?

Handing out candy to kids!!! We decorate my house like CRAZY and its so much fun! My H is going to London tomorrow AM for work, so my mommy is coming over to hand out candy with me.

safire3

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI, DOR

Cycle/CD: ??

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  waiting for FET

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I’m at the RE’s office right now waiting on my lining check. Hopefully all is well and I can have my FET on Saturday!

How are things going? Estrogen side effects are kicking my butt. Actually had to call in sick this morning which due to the nature of my job I hardly ever do. I’m hoping I can go down on the dose after today.

Any questions? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? We went to a party for a couple hours on Saturday night. I was Michonne from Walking Dead. We also started watching Stranger Things. Apart from that we have candy to give out on Tuesday night. I don’t work on Tuesdays so I’m happy I don’t have to dress up for work this year. 

@BusinessWife I saw what you posted last week but I didn’t get a chance to reply. I am right there with you though with the tension at home. I find myself resenting more and more these early morning appointments and side effects that only I have to deal with. Usually when I get upset though I convince myself it’s just another side effect of all these hormones so I try to just keep it all inside. Can’t wait for this to be over. 

As for the testing I think it should be possible to turn a test then (that’s like 10dpo right?) but I think if it’s negative at that point it doesn’t necessarily mean the transfer didn’t work. My transfer is 11/4 and DH’s Birthday is 11/10 so I’m wondering the same thing. We are having a birthday party for him on 11/11 though so I don’t think I will test before then because I don’t want to be feeling down at the party. 

laurad75

@BusinessWife You know that 6dp5dt is really early so you just have to keep your expectations in check.  If its negative will it ruin your day because if so you really shouldn't.  

@kiwi2628 Oh that is so frustrating.  Its just another 'not fair' factor of IVF that you have to schedule it around the holidays.  Ugh.  So annoying.  

Diagnosis (If you've been): DOR

Cycle/CD: not a thing for me

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  prepping for DE IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I started lupron this past weekend.  Friday is my last bcp.  Donor ER is estimated for end of Nov.  

How are things going?  As many of you know I have worked very hard to stay chill and patient and not lose my cool through this process.  But ever since we got the calendar I have become increasingly anxious.  I'm having trouble sleeping, emotional, irritable, etc.  I know its all perfectly normal to feel this way now that we are getting so close but I still want to do what I can to find calm again.  I have acupuncture on Wednesday which will help (plus I'm really excited to give her my calendar) and I'm attending a Resolve Infertility conference this weekend  that I'm looking forward to.  Nancy Kerrigan is the key note speaker!

Any questions? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? H loves Halloween but we've been so busy that he wasn't interested in any of the parties this weekend.  I was so relieved.  We live in an apartment building and there are not a lot of kids so we don't anticipate many trick-or-treaters.  We did watch The Nightmare Before Christmas on Saturday night so there's that.  

Hollyyyyy

@kiwi2628 Ugh I'm so sorry you might have to hold off on IVF. When is your open enrollment for insurance? Any chance of updating your policy, so your deductible is lower? 

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS and a couple other mild things.

Cycle/CD: ??

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  Benched.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Nothing this cycle. Next cycle Femara + IUI, and possible trigger.

How are things going? Not too great. Benched sucks, but it could be way worse. At least it isn't for too long.

Any questions? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? My best friend and I are going to the casino that's about 45 minutes from my house. They are giving away a bunch of prizes, so hopefully one of us gets lucky!

emmasemm

Diagnosis (If you've been): DOR, autoimmune issues

Cycle/CD: 30/26

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW (WFAF)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) This was a cycle off in between IVF cycles. 

How are things going? What with the crappy side effects hanging over from round 1, other illness and international travel I have no idea if I Od or when or anything. I feel awful still, and we have public holidays here in Germany so nothing is open until Wednesday - but that also means I don't need to go to the office until Wednesday. DH is also now ill - proper man flu. We got back just before midnight last night, 22 hours since leaving the hotel in Shanghai, so Jetlag is certainly playing a role too. I went to the pharmacy earlier (as I'm the fittest of the two of us) and the poor pharmacist took one look at my long list of drugs (for DH) and said "oh man flu?" I guess I'm not the first one ;-) He was very sweet though as I've been getting my PNVs from him for 1.5 years now every month and today he said if I would like to buy 3 months together I could have 20% off. I'm not sure if I should be offended that even he doesn't think I will be KU in 3 months still or whether to just appreciate that he is trying to do his bit as he knows how much we're spending on TTGP. I mean he fills all my stim prescriptions too, so I have been putting some good business his way and he probably has the best complete record of what drugs I've taken lol! 

Any questions? Like @laurad75 said I get the feeling several of us are trying to deal with anxiety/stress around upcoming rounds of treatment. I feel like first time I was nervous but also naive to what was to come. What are your best coping strategies for dealing with it during the different parts of the cycles?

For me, during stims was going out for dinner with DH to really have time to talk without other distractions. Plus having him do the injections when possible so he feels as involved as possible. I realized I need to think and talk through every single option, which drives DH crazy. So this time I'm going to try to split all my theories and possible branches between him and the RE (as I drove him a bit crazy too I think last time). But sitting and putting options and modeling things in excel is something that keeps me calm, so I'll be doing more of that.

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year?

This year we're not doing much. We only have uncarved pumpkins even since DH is too sick to carve them today and we've been away the last weeks. Some lights and a witch on a broom, and candy in case we do get any ToTers. And we've saved ST2 to watch.

@laurad75 I would love to be able to go to the Resolve conference. I hope it's really great and you hear some inspiring new ideas. Have you done acupuncture for long or is it something more recent?

@safire3 hope they let you drop the dose so you feel better! 

@safire3 @businesswife for both of you those dates are really on the borderline... I think @laurad75 is right, if it will ruin your days to see a BFN that day then maybe wait, due to the chance that even if it's a BFP in the end it might not be detectable. When are your betas planned for? If your beta is the next day, then you might be close enough... I guess neither of you will use an HCG trigger for the FET? I think that's only when you're prepping "naturally" for an FET? As then you could just test every day from trigger (worked well for me last time, as I didn't have any big anticipation and testing became "boring" almost after two weeks)

@kiwi2628 oh no!!! I can't believe they come up with this now - and also that any other month would be ok but due to Xmas it's an extra complication... I really hope they can find a way to make it work within the time frame!!! And on top of the already crazy requirements they had for medicated TI/IUI. It's almost like they want you to say "f this let's go OOP". Sorry I don't remember how old you are? As you don't have low AMH and if you're not too old I would say do it through the insurance- just to p them off more than anything! I guess if you paid OOP now, then next year you would anyway have to pay the same deductible if you needed a second cycle? Insurance sucks. I'm still trying to think of a way to consult insurance companies on the benefits of letting all patients who want to go straight to IVF. Because they need some education. Surely they could do a partial release enough for the first days meds and then release the rest after you met their timeline? Sorry, as if you need any more on top of the actual meds and cycles themselves.

laurad75

@emmasemm I've been doing acupuncture for about a year.  I go every other week right now and its at the Domar Center which is a mind/ body health center associated with my clinic which makes me feel like its all working together. 

In regards to coping mechanisms, reading has worked really well for me over the past year.  I found earlier this year when I picked up a novel (Big, Little Lies) that when I was reading fiction it was the only time I wasn't thinking about treatment.  I find it very relaxing and a nice break from all the anxiety. 

emmasemm

@laurad75 I'm hoping to start regular acupuncture in the next week, but I only used it for pain relief in the past. Relaxing definitely isn't my strong point - when I have massages the therapist has to tell me to relax repeatedly in each session... 

And great idea with the reading. I think my reading has changed in the last year to non fiction, so might be good to go back to getting lost in a good novel!

RVAmom315

@BusinessWife It's it SO FRIGGIN CLOSE! I can't believe it! I'm sorry things have been so stressful, but it will be worth it in the end. I agree with @laurad75 6dp5dt is early, and you don't want a potential negative to bring you down.

@kiwi2628 WTH are you serious? UGH! I'm so frustrated for you - you've been waiting for this to get going for so long. I really hope they can figure out a way to make it work.

@safire3 How did you like this season of Stranger Things? I just finished episode 6, and am really enjoying it. I love that you were Michonne from Walking Dead!

@laurad75 I don't blame you for feeling the way you are - this whole process has been stressful. I hope that acupuncture helps you get back to a comforting and relaxing place

@hollyyyy Just want to send all the hugs, and hope that you can get back in the game soon

@emmasemm I'm sorry you're still feeling sick. Hopefully things will calm down soon and you can get back to normal

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI (0 morph)

Cycle/CD: 16 or 17/24

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW (10 dpiui)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Had an IUI with clomid, gonal-f and ovidrel trigger

How are things going? OK, just need to get through the week. Have a big work event out of town Friday night that's keeping me pretty busy

Any questions? Can anyone come over and rid my house of HPTs?

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year?

Just watching the rest of ST2! I'm bummed there's only 9 episodes - I hope we don't have to wait another year for ST3

zwink1

@kiwi2628, oh no, I cannot imagine how frustrating that has to be. I will have everything crossed for you that they can get this straightened out and you can  still sneak an IVF cycle in this year.

@laurad75 the RESOLVE conference sounds awesome. I hope you have a great time!

Diagnosis (If you've been): OAT, & other

Cycle/CD: Idk, month 32/CD14

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WFIVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Treatment

How are things going? Things are fine. It's going to be a little crazy around here for the next couple of weeks. I have a pretty major work project due 11/8, which is the same day I start stims, so at least that will be done before the IVF craziness starts. Hysteroscopy and mock transfer are on Thurs. Hopefully this goes better than my HSG did 

Any questions? Not yet. 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? We did and are doing absolutely nothing. 

millpe

Hey guys! Is it okay if I come hang out here? I'm waiting for AF later this week and will be heading into cycle 12. We've already started initial testing.

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI 

Cycle/CD: 11/26

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW (WFAF)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) We had out initial appointment with the urologist last week Friday. DHs initial SA came back at 3mil/ml. He will be doing bw, us, and repeat SA this week, but we weren't able to get in for a follow-up and to get any results until Dec 15 so more waiting. 

How are things going? I've already been told if we can't raise his count our only option will be IVF. I am still trying to hold on to a tiny bit of hope for a natural miracle each month. We are also trying to mentally and financially prepare for IVF - that part is not going so well. DH is definitely in denial. We have some savings, but not enough and would possibly need a loan. We will also have travel time and expenses since the closest IVF clinic is 200 miles away, but we would most likely go 400+ miles.

Any questions? Has anyone taken a loan for IVF? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year?

We have loads of Halloween candy so I am hoping for lots of TorTers. We live in a young family development so there are lots of kids around, but it's also really cold out and the houses are spread apart so I think some families might go into town. 

millpe

@BusinessWife Hopefully the next couple weeks fly by! So excited for your transfer!

 @kiwi2628 Ugh! I'm frustrated for you! It's like one delay after another to jump through insurance hoops. I'm sorry you may be delayed again, but FX something will work out for this year. 

@safire3 Hopefully after Saturday the nasty side effects will all be worth it!!  

RVAmom315

@MrsMiller8588 Of course you can hang out here, but I'm sorry that you are. I hope that you get some more answers with the testing with the urologist. I can relate with having your DH being in denial - I think they just don't understand everything as much as we do (and if you're like me, the hours upon hours of research being done). Hugs, and I hope your stay here is short.

kiwi2628

@BusinessWife  GL with your lining check! 
@safire3 Omg I cannot believe your FET is maybe on Saturday!! Fx!
@laurad75 I feel you not he stress of it all. I haven't gotten a calendar, but yesterday when I came home with the bad news, I was crying and my H wasn't getting it at all (he doesn't know about the different protocols and timing etc...) and I told him it wasn't his fault exactly, but I was mad and upset that I felt so alone in this since he doesn't know whats going on and doesn't really have to do anything. Again, not really his fault, but it still hurts and makes everything stressful. Hopefully the acupuncture makes you mellow a bit.
@MrsMiller8588  Welcome! Sorry you find yourself here, but the women here are amazing. As for your travel, I think its @KristoKekerooni  who is doing IVF far from her home, so hopefully she can help you/give you some insight.

zwink1

@MrsMiller8588, I'm sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. MH had the same count on his 1st SA as yours. We were told by our RE at that time that IVF with ICSI was our only option. He immediately started taking a men's multi, CoQ10, fish oil, and extra Vit C. Whether due to that, or just that the first one was a fluke, all subsequent SAs have been ~10M/ml higher. 

He still saw a RU, but we were unable to determine any hormonal/chemical/physical cause that could be fixed, so the bad news is that we still have to do IVF w/ ICSI because even with the improved count, the numbers still are not there. I'm sure that your options are limited based on the fact that you have to travel so far for IVF, but keep a close eye on the urologist if you can't see one that specializes in reproduction. A lot of treatments for male urological issues (low testosterone treatments for example) can actually damage male fertility, which would obviously be counterproductive. 

GL and I hope they can find something for you guys! It can be tough to accept IVF, my H was in denial for a loooonnnnggg time too. IF sucks anyway you slice it.

Edit: autocorrect fail.

KristoKekerooni

@adirat , @Pinky917 , @AlohaKumu , 
Sorry, guys, I am absent on weekends. Thanks for the encouragement. You are right. I should do this. 
Spoiler for pics: 

@beachbunnyxo123 , did you just say SHAVE your cervix down? I'm cringing. OMG. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Hugs, friend. 

@MrsMiller8588 , I am also traveling for IVF (thanks for the shout-out, @kiwi2628 ) The nearest clinic to us is about 5 hours, one way, and was about 25K, before meds! We decided since we had to travel anyway, we would find a cheaper clinic. We settled on CNY, which is MUCH cheaper (total cost will be ~14000 including travel, PGS, Acupuncture, meds... EVERYTHING, plus some extras, as opposed to ~40K for the same thing, if we had chosen the closest clinic).. Doing it this way means we can avoid taking out a loan, and instead, we saved as much as we could. Our monitoring is taking place locally, at a regular OB's office, who then sends the results stat to the IVF clinic. A lot of people I know that do local monitoring see a radiology clinic for this, which is also an option. I would try to see a clinic that sees a lot of travel patients. They are much better at communication (which is key because you can't just pop in!), as well as just general organization of your cycle. They know it's important to have an estimation of dates ASAP so you can scheduled flights, etc. 

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI/RPL

Cycle/CD: Cycle 41 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Meeting with OB that will do monitoring for IVF, hoping we like him. That'll be tomorrow afternoon

How are things going?: Eh

Any questions? 

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year?

Probably not even handing out candy... BORING. 

darkstar42

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained

Cycle/CD: 8/23

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Had initial RE consult, but didn't like him. I'm still looking into possibilities for a second opinion.

How are things going? Ok. I'm getting to the point in the TWW when I start feeling hopeless about it all. It's hard to stay focused on work and not just endlessly read research on ttc.

Any questions? Did anyone with an unexplained diagnosis have an RE who did more extensive testing to try to figure out what (if anything) was wrong? Has anyone had a post-coital test or a sperm penetration assay done?

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? MH and I are hoping for some trick-or-treaters. We also have a projector and big screen, so we're having friends over for dinner and to watch Stranger Things on the big screen.

shortstack930

@BusinessWife ahh your FET is so close!!!
@kiwi2628 ugh I freaking hate insurance!!! I really hope it somehow works out for you because I know how long you've been waiting and how many hoops you've had to jump through for the stupid insurance company. That is so frustrating.
@safire3 that is so exciting that your FET is this week!! And I love your Halloween costume!!
@laurad75 I'm sorry you're feeling some anxiety. I can imagine after waiting so long for this and having to do so many different things for insurance, legal stuff, etc that it finally happening can be overwhelming. I hope you enjoy the conference!
@Hollyyyyy I'm still so sorry that you're back here and that you're benched but I hope next month will work and get you your rainbow baby.
@emmasemm sorry YH is sick!!
@RVAmom315 I'm trying to hold out on testing too! Hang in there!
@zwink1 good luck with your project!!
@MrsMiller8588 I'm sorry you're here but happy to have you! Do you or YH have any kind of insurance coverage for IF?

Diagnosis (If you've been): secondary IF due to endometriosis

Cycle/CD: 23/24 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW (12dpIUI)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Femara + IUI

How are things going? Trying to avoid testing until Wednesday. I haven't had my usual pre-AF symptoms (sore boobs, face break out) so that keeps getting my hopes up but then I look at my chart and see that my temps are hovering right around the coverline and I get bummed out that it didn't work. I'll be happy to know either way on Wednesday but I don't have high hopes.

Any questions? nope

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? Just trick-or-treating and trying to finish Stranger Things this week. I'm dressing up as a witch this year.

emmasemm

@darkstar42 I hear you on trouble focusing on work. And yes my RE ran both the extra tests on DHs sperm.

*TW good SA talk - as my RE basically said he can't believe that with DHs amazing SA results in the 27 cycles before we met him that I never saw a +HPT, that even with my DOR as I'm releasing an egg each cycle something in that time should have been good enough to at least start to implant. So he did the extra tests and they both came back perfect too, so still none the wiser. Even more, in the first IVF round DHs swimmers "cracked" my egg no problem at all. So even if you do the extra tests it still might not give you an answer... End TW*

@KristoKekerooni :-) for the great tips for @mrsmiller8588

kiwi2628

@darkstar42 is the post-coital test the one where they play with your CM 1 hour after sex to see them swimming? If so, most RE's no longer do that as it hasn't been proven to be a test that actually shows anything. As far as extra tests- not really. We did all the basics- AMH, FSH, E2, Testosterone, SSG, HSG, CD 3 u/s for an AFC and progesterone, T4/TSH, SA...I think thats it. 

@shortstack930 I am sorry you feel out. FX for you

kiwi2628

This is me refreshing my email every 20 seconds to hoping to hear from my nurse:

AlohaKumu

@BusinessWife I'm so excited that you are getting so close! I wish I could say that it would be in a good window for testing on that day, but it's just so early. (Even a blood test might be off that early.) I agree that you can test if you want to, but be wary of trusting the result.
@kiwi2628 OMG nooooo. I really hope that they are able to work something out with you. That's not even fair. It's like they specifically set up the system for failure. I really hope that they are able to work something out for you.
@safire3 I hope all looks good at the lining check!
@laurad75 Eee! Everything is getting so close. I totally feel you on feeling "off" with a lack of sleep and strange moods. I just remind myself that I've already waited so long to get here that I can stand to wait just a few more weeks.
@Hollyyyyy Your casino trip sounds awesome. I hope you win all the prizes!
@emmasemm Yes, to DH doing the injections! I really tried to explain that it was an essential part of the process and he was able to do this for us. I hope the flu situation goes by quickly. (Ah, man flu...)
@RVAmom315 I hope the week goes by quickly for you!
@zwink1 Good luck for Thursday! I know all these testing really starts to wear you down after a while. Fx for good results.
@MrsMiller8588 I'm sorry your DH is in denial. I know IVF is a big step for many families and it's not an easy process. We didn't have to take a loan in our case, but I constantly have to remind him to be mindful about money. (He went a little crazy this weekend for Halloween parties and I was not amused.)
@KristoKekerooni I LOVE IT! You are so creative! I really think many families would be able to benefit from something like this, since it really helps with the whole focus/process of preparing for this.
@darkstar42 Oh mean, I feel you on the researching. It seems like I'm constantly trying to search for literature or information about every little thing that pops into my head.
@shortstack930 I really hope Wednesday brings good news for you.

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI

Cycle/CD: cycle 17

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  Waiting for Dec FET

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Waiting for the PGS results and munching on BCs

How are things going? I've actually been incredibly patient about the PGS results. (I know that once November hits, I'll start getting itchy for everything to get going.) This weekend kept my mind busy. I read The Handmaid's Tale cover to cover yesterday, so that was nice.

Any questions?

GTKY: Did/are you doing anything to celebrate Halloween this year? Our hiking/running group had a huge party this weekend. It was a blast, except DH had a little too much fun and ended up getting sick by the end of the night. I'm not sure what we'll do tomorrow, but I did buy some candy.

wishiwaspreggo

@BusinessWife - so exciting you're so close to FET!!! Yay!
@kiwi2628 - that is a big crock of nonsense. I hate insurance so much. Did you explain your situation to the RE's finance office? Maybe they can negotiate with insurance to speed up the process so you can at least try this year? That is a big time bummer. FX they come up with a plan that works for you.
@safire3 - killer costume! I love Michonne
@laurad75 - I second (third?) reading novels to take your mind off IF. That's my favorite way to escape. When you're reading a good story you can tune out bad thoughts pretty easily. I just finished reading a book called Hex. It's about a witch that haunts a small town on the east coast. The ending took my breath away and I was in an emotional state for a couple hours after. I really like books that have that kind of impact on me.
@MrsMiller8588 - I, too, am worrying about the finances for IVF. Do you have a tax saver benefit from your employer? I'm planning to contribute to that for 6 months or so which will save a few thousand dollars. Between that and the money I get from my health savings account we shouldn't have to incur much debt but I have a 1-year zero interest credit card for medical expenses from Care Credit that I can utilize if I must. Maybe look into their services. It was good for me when I had to have a major dental procedure done a few years ago.
@shortstack930 - FX this IUI does the trick!

AFM... no updates yet. Not IF related but I'm generally angry because I feel like I've been cheated a decent autumn (cool, crisp sunny days with beautiful leaves, campfire scents, puttering in my garden, picking out pumpkins). It literally went from blazing-ass hot to freezing cold with nothing in between. We had maybe 3 or 4 days total that felt like "fall". When DW planned our fall fun day it was 75 degrees and humid outside but the forecast for the next day was 49 degrees and raining and it looked to stay that way indefinitely. I spent the day hiking and wiping sweat from my neck and forehead. At least the mosquitoes were mostly gone.

I know this seems like a minor thing to complain about but it impacts my mood more than I expected. Now that it's cold and grey it will likely stay that way until March with a few odd days here and there when we'll see the sun again.

emmasemm

@wishiwaspreggo is it the Hex by Thomas Olde Heuvelt? We have a day off tomorrow and sounds like it would be perfect to get "lost" in for the day!
Especially as DH is worse not better so no chance of us doing anything tomorrow. He feels cold, but is burning up, won't listen to advice, isn't drinking enough fluids, twice told me he'd taken the medicine but when I looked all the pills were still in the packet... ahhh... 

laurad75

@mrsmiller8588 I’m sorry you find yourself her and in such a difficult predicament.  IF treatment is so stressful on its own but add in the financial stress and it can be so hard on a family.  Dec 15 seems like a ways away but hopefully with the holidays coming it will go by fast.  I think you will find the community here very helpful and supportive.

@kristokekerooni The journal is beautiful.  You should definitely get that on etsy or something.  There are so few options out there.

@alohakumu I loved Handmaid’s Tale.  You have to watch the series on Hulu now.  They did a really nice job and there will be a second season. GL with the PGS results.  That’s a tough wait.

 

darkstar42

@BusinessWife Your FET date is so soon! How exciting!

@kiwi2628 *hugs* What a nightmare with your insurance. Fx the timing ends up working out and you don’t have to wait longer! Yep, that’s the post-coital test. That’s interesting that it has been shown to not be very useful! I guess I need to read up on some more research. Possible tmi, but I’ve had issues with vaginal infections and ph levels in the past, so I just wondered if there could be a cm problem.

@safire3 FET is coming right up! What kind of estrogen side effects are you getting?

@laurad75 I hope your acupuncture helps with the stress and anxiety! I was thinking of attending an infertility conference, so I’ll be really curious to hear about your experience!

@Hollyyyyy Hope you win a Halloween prize!

@emmasemm Sorry to hear that both you and YH are sick! That’s no fun. Get a lot of a sleep and I hope you feel better soon! Thanks for the information on the extra tests. I always think more tests will equal more information or an explanation, but it’s good to have the reminder that that isn’t necessarily the case! I don’t handle uncertainty well.

@RVAmom315 I can’t wait to watch Stranger Things! I also hope they aren’t going to make us wait a year, but I feel like they probably will want to release at Halloween again.

@zwink1 That’s great that you’ll get the major work project out of the way before starting stims.

@MrsMiller8588 If you’re paying OOP, I’ve heard good things about one of the REs at CCRM. Fx for good test results from YH though!

@KristoKekerooni That journal you created is lovely! I definitely think there is a demand! Fx crossed the ob appointment goes well tomorrow!

@shortstack930 Fx for this cycle! My temps were hovering around the coverline, but I realized it was because the temp in my room had dropped dramatically and my thermometer was struggling to compensate.

@AlohaKumu Right? It’s so easy to get sucked down research rabbit holes. Fx for good PGS results! And your Halloween party sounds like fun (except getting the sick part)!

tamalahoops

@mrsmiller8588 I'm sorry you find yourself here.  We financed our IVF through ARC fertility, the loan is serviced through NBT. Using a package through ARC was cheaper than straight up using our clinic. We did the 1 cycle plus plan. It was super easy but of course now we are paying that loan back without a baby in our arms and will have to pay that off before we move forward with anything else. 

 I'm an open book so I'm happy to answer any questions you might have. 

wishiwaspreggo

@emmasemm - yep, that's the one! Great choice for Halloween I'm gonna have to find a new horror or thriller book to read. I was thinking The Graveyard Apartment but I'm already scared enough of my creepy, torture-chamber-esque unfinished basement... I was in the corner cleaning it once and I swear I heard a scream so realistic that I ran upstairs to see what was wrong. No one else in the house heard the scream.

99.9% sure it was just my imagination but that 0.01% of my mind is all "What if it wasn't just your imagination??"

emmasemm

@wishiwaspreggo have you read the books by Justin Cronin? It's not horror as such, but it's enough to seriously creep you out many times as you read

millpe

Thank you everyone for such a warm welcome (to the club no one wants to be a part of). 

@RVAmom315 I'm trying to slowly educate DH, without completely freaking him out and his response is always "it will work out someway". Ugh thanks but thats not super helpful when I'm trying to plan. 

@zwink1 Thanks for the additional info! DH is already taking CoQ10 and a men's multi, I will see if I can get him to add the others. I know our urologist doesn't technically specialize in reproduction, but my Dr referred us to him specifically because he takes the majority of MFI cases in our area. I will definitely research treatment options and get feedback here too when we get a plan. Thanks for pointing that out

@KristoKekerooni Thanks for all that info on travel for IVF. I know my OBGYN has a clinic she refers to, but I will also look at other options when we get to that point. Was it easy to get cost information from other clinics? Also that journal is beautiful!

@shortstack930 We have limited insurance for IF, but I think it caps at $5k and doesn't cover IVF. I have to call for sure, but that's what the letter I got when I started testing says at least. I'm hoping I can use that towards meds and monitoring. 

@AlohaKumu we are both so used to spending money whenever we want. It will take a huge change in mindset for both of us to start saving. Maybe I need to have a "come to Jesus" talk about finances soon... 

@tamalahoops I am so sorry you are paying back a loan after it being unsuccessful. That's honestly one of my worries. I would not think twice about getting a loan for whatever amount if it guaranteed a baby, but of course it doesn't. I hope you don't have empty arms much longer. 

margorita30

@BusinessWife I’ll be thinking of you!! So can I ask, are they embroys made of your eggs and donor sperm or were they able to extract sperm? Sorry I’m new, so I’m just hearing your story. We just had our second “spermless” SA so I’m hoping I can learn from your journey. I feel so I’ve whelmed and lost. 

@kiwi2628  How frustrating!!!! I hope it happens sooner rather than later! 

safire3

@MrsMiller8588 sorry you find yourself here but I hope we can make your journey a little easier! My DH’s counts have ranged from 0 to 9mil. I honestly don’t think any one thing made a big difference (including clomid) and 9mil is still typically too low to be successful naturally. As for the loans we did a lot of research into this months ago. Your clinic will likely give you some options and there are other online loans you can look into. You may also want to consider a home equity line of credit if you own your home for some time now. At the end it boils down to affordable monthly payments and the interest rate so compare those. For us DH and I both have good credit and not much debt so we decided to open 2 new joint credit cards. One has a no interest promotion for 1 year and the other for 15 months. We plan to pay it off before the 1 year mark hopefully. If we do that we avoid paying any interest at all. 

@kiwi2628 I hope you get a reply soon and they can fit you in before the end of the year. 

@shortstack930 FX for you even though you’re not feeling positive. Will you test on Wednesday?

@darkstar42 I remember someone starting a thread about this on the IF page in the past 1-2 weeks. I don’t remember those specific tests being discussed but it was about additional testing for unexplained. I’ll see if I can find it. 
Here’s a link. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12718143/unexplained-what-to-get-tested-for-outside-of-the-norm#latest

@zwink1 it’s awesome that you were able to get started so soon. GL on Thursday!

@RVAmom315 STs is good so far. I think we are only at episode 5 though. Will hopefully watch a couple more episodes tonight!

@emmasemm I hate being sick at the same time as DH because it basically means I take care of both of us regardless of who is worse! I hope your H gets better soon. Also remember you still have to take prenatals during pregnancy (and even after, especially if breastfeeding) so I think your pharmacist was just trying to save you some cash. 

@laurad75 sorry you are feeling anxious but sounds like you have a good plan to help de-stress. It’s exciting to be so close also!

AFM everything looked good today so we are on track for Saturday. Embies get thawed tomorrow and I have so much anxiety for them. Also so relieved that I get to go down to 2 estrogen patches today instead of 4! 

*Eta link

AlohaKumu

Well, I don't have to wait until November because the PGS results came in! Two out of the three that they could test were normal!!! (It also makes me feel better about the ones they couldn't test.)

KristoKekerooni

@MrsMiller8588 - It wasn't easy at all to get costs. Most want you to have a consult first, which I was like Noooooo. So we only considered clinics that were transparent. 

@AlohaKumu - THAT'S AWESOME!!!

KristoKekerooni

Oh.. and in other news, my little sister called to tell me she's pregnant. They were preventing. And I'm trying not to cry at work. 

AlohaKumu

I'm so sorry @KristoKekerooni. This part of life is so, so incredibly unfair.

darkstar42

@AlohaKumu What wonderful news! Yay!
@KristoKekerooni I am so sorry. *hugs*

[Deleted User]

@margorita30  it's okay.  ❤  It's definitely a scary place to be... when we first got our dx it felt like being hit by a cosmic mac truck.  I mean.  Last thing anyone thinks would ever happen.  I didn't even know that was a <i>THING</i>!  We had some waiting, some testing, more waiting, more testing ... eventually we came back with no, "blockage," or known genetic cause for it, but the doctor did say he was actually missing a tube to connect on his better side, (the other side had been cryptorchid), but usually that's not a huge problem because that's why men have TWO! But in our case, if the other one is missing a vas then apparently you're pretty much beat.  Who knew.

Luckily after all that waiting and testing and 3 more months of Clomid, they did a combo MESA/TESE retrieval, and the doctor did find sperm!!!  They got two samples each from the MESA, which are stronger, more mature samples, and two from the TESE which are fewer and not as strong because they were extracted from the testicular tissue, vs. the MESA samples are extracted farther along from the epididymis and are closer to being "ready" to go.  Regardless, ivf+icsi was the only option with extracted sperm, because only ejaculated sperm are able to swim and meet the egg, as in traditional ivf.

So it's been a little over a year since our dx, and we have been through two more retrievals for me, used both the MESA samples from my H to fertilize my eggs, and we are now...18???? Days away from attempting our first FET!  We feel extremely lucky to have come this far, and there are still no guarantees.  Even though we don't have a baby in our arms yet, I can say from our experience, it is definitely possible to still end up with a couple's own biological embryos.  Not going to lie, it feels like we are the exception, but it really comes down to the cause whether or not they may find sperm, and then throw in any female/egg factors, and it's all really a crapshoot.  Fun, right?  (((Hugs)))

Ultimately, no matter what, no matter the specifics, bio or donor, or adopted, or snowflake adoption or <i>whatever</i> <i>path</i> your course may take... - Believe me.  Your journey is far from over.

Truly, it's only just beginning. :)  Hang on tight!  It's a bumpy ride, but you can do this.

adirat

@KristoKekerooni ughhhhhh so sorry friend 

kiwi2628

@KristoKekerooni