FFFC 10/13

ivyvines6

arteduc8 said:

desertdweller-21 said:

Confession - I never introduced myself. And if I read that post, I only look for the drama parts. 

This is maybe more of an UO than a confession, but I feel like this board is so slow it doesn't really matter if there are drive-bys or one off posts. At least its something to look at. 

I also haven't heard any new Taylor Swift songs. 

Right?! I actually hate the rigidity of this board. I hate having to scroll through endless pages of posts on a vague thread to find something to reply to or relate to. I don't have time to read everything so then I just stay away from entire threads that are too huge. I'm all for structure, but I get annoyed by the thread police. This board is slow, who cares? 

My confession... I'm dreading telling my in-laws about this pregnancy. They are great people, but I'm worried my mil is going to smother us. She got super needy with Audri- needing to come see us all the time, demanding to spend the night. I hate overnight visitors but she lives an hour and a half away so she feels like she needs to make a few days out of her visits. I feel like I have to entertain her and it's more work to have her help than to not. And she Facebook friended me and weirdly comments on all my stuff now. Ugh!! 

So you want us to care about you, and have discussions with you, but you don't feel it necessary to see what we've been discussing about a certain topic? Or catching up with us to effective get to know us?  If you are looking for a one sided conversation I'd suggest a blog. Some people even make money off of those, I hear.

I can understand not wanting to read through 600+ comments in the intro thread, but not reading anything at all is rude imo. We've set up guidelines that work, and have worked for thousands of women on this forum before us, so why try to reinvent the wheel? I use the bump because I'm not into bothering with chaos on the regular, and enjoy conversations with intelligent women. You don't find that on other pregnancy forums, and part of why is their lack of rigidity.

sandbar517

So, I have a really crazy proposition, and I'm totally okay with whatever opinions you all have about it.  Since everyone (myself included) thinks this board is a little on the slow side, how would people feel about just having a daily check in instead of a weekly ticker change?  It would essentially be the same questions, but people wouldn't feel restricted to only answer on "their" day.  I just know on TTGP they have two daily threads, Waiting to Ovulate and Two Week Wait.  It gets people participating every day, and it really starts conversations between friends, because people learn details about what you're doing in your daily life.  It might also help get rid of some of the other "run-on" threads, like the Symptoms thread or the random thread.  Thoughts?  I can definitely see how it might become overwhelming, but maybe it's worth trying for a day or two just to see what happens.

mileswithmyles

ivyvines6 said:

thunderberry said:

My FFFC is I don't get the gif .

It's from a song by Usher.

It's my favorite song of his.  It is still on my running mix!

abhphilly

Literally every single other pregnancy site is less structured than this one. If you don't like how this one works, why not just use one of the dozens of other sites' forums? It makes no sense to me to come in and want to change things when there are so many others that work how you seem to want them to. Check out What to Expect or Baby Center if you'd rather have daily repetitive posts titled "Spotting?," "When did your bump start showing?," and my favorite, "Please read!"

yesthisiskim0401

The whole reason I create bullshit posts is to switch it up a little in here. You don't *have* to post only in allowed threads and only post allowed posts. You also don't have to only talk about pregnancy. The only way this board will move and flow organically is for you to be you and contribute here. 
I don't go in those long ass boring threads because they are long ass boring threads. So help me by contributing to make this board not a long ass boring board. 

sandbar517

@yesthisiskim0401 That's what I'm saying.  People complain it's too slow, but then no one is actually here posting.  I love the silly bullshit posts we have going right now, and the gif parties and the fun stuff.  But I also truly care about the people I've come to "know" on this board, so I do care how you're doing and feeling on a daily basis.  Just like I still lurk the TTGP board because I like to see how my old "friends" are doing.  And like I've already pointed out, people are going to post things regardless of whether we have a rigid board or not, so would you rather they post their own discussion every time, leaving our entire board full of random posts, or post in the "appropriate" thread, making a few long boring threads that you can skip if you want?  

abhphilly

FFFC: I don't get gifs. I don't know how to find them, I don't know how to post them, and I don't really care to learn, because I don't get them. Same with memes. I like sentences.

yesthisiskim0401

abhphilly said:

FFFC: I don't get gifs. I don't know how to find them, I don't know how to post them, and I don't really care to learn, because I don't get them. Same with memes. I like sentences.

sandbar517

@abhphilly

thunderberry

I straddle the line on the board organization issue. I don't want a total chaotic board like BC or whatever because yes, we will end up with a thousand "omg my nausea slightly reduced today is that normal??" threads. But some of the set topics are pretty broad so you end up not having an easily followed conversation. Like, it would be hard to have a conversation about what nausea cures work in the symptoms thread because it would get broken up by the people jumping in to list their symptoms, so I don't see an issue with a discrete discussion topic like that being a separate thread even though it COULD fit in the symptoms thread. Or someone wanting to ask what people's favourite belly band brand is, instead of having to include it in the general maternity clothes thread.

@sandbar517 I like the idea of a daily check in thread! I wouldn't mind seeing how other people are doing who don't share my ticker change day.

sandbar517

@thunderberry Maybe after I get a few responses on here to feel it out a little bit we can start a poll to see what everyone thinks....and in response to your comment, I think the pro-rigid people on here have been saying all along that no one cares if someone who is here often enough that the majority of us recognize their sn/picture starts a thread that is relevant to more people than just themselves.    If you want to start a thread about baby names, great!  If you want to start a one-off thread about YOUR baby name, you'll probably get a slight flaming.  Like @abhphilly said, it already is annoying-and will get 10000% more annoying the longer we're here-to have some random drive-by (or even a regular) start their own thread about one of their symptoms, or spotting, or something that clearly fits in another thread, or asking a question about something that we've all been talking about for 6-8ish weeks now.  That's what we're trying to discourage.  

charlestonchew

Related to the one off posts...I guess my confession is I didn't reply with sympathies to the recent loss post where the OP had only 3 other posts including an intro. It feels strange giving my sympathies to a stranger who didn't interact.

Sometimes I wish instead of the weekly ticker changes we could do check ins for certain weeks. For example, anyone who is 11 weeks, 10 weeks, etc. It's harder to connect pregnancy wise with someone who is 3 or 4 weeks away from you. Maybe I'm just weird.

I just follow rules, I don't make them!

ladystinson

@sandbar517 I always liked the daily threads on TTGP, too.

I also think there's so much opportunity for more dailies like the UO Thursdays and FFFC, the stuff that will get us talking as people, not just pregnancies, if that makes sense. Right now, I think everyone is still feeling each out and not everyone feel comfortable starting the "scheduled" posts. I would be more than happy to start the weeklies and/or the dailies but I didn't want anyone to think I was stepping on their toes. Not saying it HAS to be me. But I'm willing to step up and do it if someone hasn't already beat me to it or claimed it as wanting to handle it. I'm kind of a sucker for crap like that lol

abhphilly

charlestonchew said:

Sometimes I wish instead of the weekly ticker changes we could do check ins for certain weeks. For example, anyone who is 11 weeks, 10 weeks, etc. It's harder to connect pregnancy wise with someone who is 3 or 4 weeks away from you. Maybe I'm just weird.

I like that idea too! I feel like I know Tuesday people way more than everyone else, and if I'm gonna be closer to some people than others, it'd be more sensible for it to be based on who's at the same stage of pregnancy as I am than their LMP.

mileswithmyles

I like the idea of the other check ins. It lets you interact with a smaller group of people and makes it a little less overrwhemling. I miss the dailies on TTGP. 

sandbar517

@charlestonchew Exactly.  I tend to not love-tit stuff on the Ultrasound thread or comment on people's posts if I don't recognize their screen name.  So while I feel really badly about people's losses, I have no idea who they are and feel a little weird commenting on it.  
@ladystinson That's another point that I think we've tried to make.  There are definitely no rules on who is "allowed" to start threads.  I start a ton of the posts, but it's only because I get to work at 6 in the morning and get super bored at my job LOL  But if someone jumps on here, and a thread hasn't been started, feel free!  
ETA sometimes I don't start the threads because I can't come up with a good GTKY 

charlestonchew

Maybe we should compile some options and start a poll. I would like to add the suggestion of weekly threads for certain weeks. Such as, every Sunday or Monday we start 4 threads for weeks 8, 9, 10, 11 (just an example). Is that too much at once? Of course people can pop in and out of threads. There's just like 3 people who participate in my weekly ticker and I'll be like 10 weeks and the other two are like 7 weeks. I can start the poll if someone else has suggestions as well.

thunderberry

@sandbar517 That's fair! I think you actually hit the nail on the head of what I think makes sense, which is making sure new threads are relevant to more than just yourself (and aren't super repetitive). I definitely agree that a board full of threads of people asking about their symptoms isn't interesting.

I don't know what I'm complaining about anyway since I am way too lazy to start threads around here as it is I just would like to see a slightly more active board.

@charlestonchew I also like the idea of threads for people of particular weeks! It's true a month can be a big spread in terms of what people are experiencing, especially at this stage in the game. Although it may get less dramatic as things go along. I would also just like to say that Charleston chews are my favourite chocolate bars, and I wish they weren't so hard to find!!

ladystinson

@sandbar517 lol I get that. The gtky's are the hardest part! I'm just gonna go for it from now on if you don't beat me to it

@charlestonchew I think something like that would be great. Any way that we can get people talking more, I say lets go for it!

I do think things will liven up, right now we're all still tired and nauseous and don't have a lot going on baby-wise other than a whole lotta wait... but as bumps start getting bigger, babies start moving, more appointments have happened and our last few stragglers FINALLY get to go to their first appointments, we'll all start getting more (or at least differently) relaxed and chatting more.

babydreams88

I like the idea of a weekly thread for same week people AND a daily catch-up thread  it would be great to have a poll 

thedawkterswife

Holy shirt-balls. I totally just now *got* love-tits. I feel like I total bimbo.  The heart looks like tits...my mind is blown. 

I swear, you guise, I'm really s-m-r-t. Promise.

charlestonchew

Okay I'll make a poll if @sandbar517 is okay with that!

sandbar517

@thedawkterswife I totally didn't see them as tits.  I always thought it was just because when people say I loved it really fast it sounds like love tit.  

thedawkterswife

@sandbar517 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah....or that. *d'oh*

I FLOVE tits so I'm gonna stick to the hearts looking like them. 

Today is not my day to show off my mensa skills, obvs. 



*disclaimer: I'm not a mensa. 

sandbar517

Also, @charlestonchew of course I don't mind.  Again, no rules, dude 
On that note, does anyone else feel like since we've started having this conversation we've had a bunch of random people posting stuff?  

artlea2013

@thedawkterswife hahaha 'shirt-balls' I neeeeeeed to start watching the new season of The Good Place. I haven't restarted any of my shows yet this year because baseball/football/falling asleep at 9:15 on the couch occupy life right now

Et al - I'll answer the poll, but a daily check in so that we can communicate with others is good, but that's partly what the randoms are about. Now the people in the same week as you, love! It's so much easier to compare symptoms and find out what is 'normal' when people are in your same week. Otherwise I'm scanning siggys and searching for tickers to try to find out if someone's concern in the Symptoms thread about lack of nausea is really valid based on if they're 11 weeks or 7 weeks

thedawkterswife

@artlea2013 I haven't started any back up either. I just haven't felt like it yet. I'm still enjoying junk tv like "MTV the challenge", "project runway", and "Dallas cowboys cheerleaders".  I'm hanging onto summer with the fierceness.

suchaglencoco

@thedawkterswife, you and I may be 2 is the 100 people who still watch the Challenge. This season is good, but awful with format.

I'm down for more daily threads to try and get more overall participation. I was super snarky last time around with drivebys and all I got from it was a warning or 3. I'm trying to stay away from them this time around, but still read them in case OP gets sassy with an active member. Then I'll step in with snark.

thedawkterswife

@suchaglencoco Girrrrl....Veronica is my girl. That bad bitch still got it. I think I still watch it because 1. I hate bananas so badly and every season I (wrongfully) think he will get what's coming to him. (Hello, stealing money from Sarah!) 2. I still have a crush on CT 2927452 years later. (RIP Diem) 3. I feel like an OG because I remember so many of these people's original seasons. I will never give up my MTV. 

Who do you think will win it this season? 

charlestonchew

@artlea2013 I agree a daily check-in in addition to a weekly one seems overkill if we keep randoms as well but I included all options on my poll so everyone go vote!

sandbar517

I always thought the randoms were just for stuff that wasn't pregnancy related or that didn't fit in one of the other categories.  So I think it'll be nice to have both.  

tincupchalice

My FFFC is IDK how you guys know who's a driveby and who isn't.  When I read posts I rarely process SNs and I sure don't remember who posted in the intros and who didn't.

charlestonchew

@tincupchalice I know if I recognize the name or not due to active participation and then I can click on the name and check their posts. That's what I did for a recent loss post and saw they had like an intro post, a spreadsheet post and one post in the dreams thread.

sandbar517

@tincupchalice I don't remember every single person's screen name, and I most definitely don't remember who intro'd and who didn't.  But there are a good number that I've seen often enough to recognize.  And you can always click on someone's screen name and it will take you to their profile where it shows all the threads they've started, and all the responses they've made to other threads.  So if I don't recognize someone's name, I'll click on it to see if they've posted in our BMB or not.  
ETA words

suchaglencoco

@thedawkterswife, well this is awkward.  I've never liked Veronica. When her and Katie got into it, I was hoping Katie would knock her out. She also looks majorly out of shape and has done nothing to impress me. She'll be a disaster in a final.
I love Bananas because he's such a jackass it's hard not to love him. He also doesnt hide being a snake like other people do. And the thing with Sarah, I honestly think she had it coming. He used to look out for her and they had a strong alliance, but she screwed him over (against her partner's wishes) to give herself a better chance.  I don't know if I would have done the same thing as him, but I can totally see his side.
I don't know who will win because I'm not even sure when it'll end! There are so many redemptions and twists that it's hard to figure out. They don't even know how much money they'll win.

abhphilly

@suchaglencoco said:
@thedawkterswife, you and I may be 2 is the 100 people who still watch the Challenge. This season is good, but awful with format.

Count my wife and I in those numbers! I agree. All the cutting off of the Presidio stuff in the middle is really annoying, and I don't find most of the twists all that "dirty."

@thedawkterswife said:
Girrrrl....Veronica is my girl. That bad bitch still got it. I think I still watch it because 1. I hate bananas so badly and every season I (wrongfully) think he will get what's coming to him. (Hello, stealing money from Sarah!) 2. I still have a crush on CT 2927452 years later. (RIP Diem) 3. I feel like an OG because I remember so many of these people's original seasons. I will never give up my MTV. 

Did you guys know Sarah (and Suzie) have a podcast now?! They sometimes do Challenge/RR/RW related episodes. They are both very anti-MTV at this point. https://thebraincandypodcast.com/

I really want Tori to be one of the people to win. I didn't like her all that much on Are You the One, but she's been really strong and doesn't stand out as a rookie at all. I also always want CT to win. He's so sweet since becoming a dad! 

suchaglencoco

I didn't know they had podcasts, I don't really listen to podcasts though and never cared for Suzie. I don't know why Sarah would be against MTV. I haven't ever thought they edited her in a negative eay.
I do want to say that I am still in love with Evan and am super upset that A, he can no longer participate and B, that he has/had a show in Canada, but we can't see it in the states. 

fraufarbissina

@thedawkterswife @suchaglencoco right there with you guys watching the Challenge!  Love all the old schoolers coming back!  I hate Bananas and Camila.  And I miss Wes!!

ETA because nothing made sense.  wtf did I type the first time???

suchaglencoco

tincupchalice said:

My FFFC is IDK how you guys know who's a driveby and who isn't.  When I read posts I rarely process SNs and I sure don't remember who posted in the intros and who didn't.

Sometimes it isn't just the s/n that can show its a driveby, but the content or the wording. An active member or active lurker would/should know that we don't do skull or nub theories. Or they'd know that a random "look at me" type of post whether it has a question or a statement that is just about them is normally side eyed. Or the repetitive "my symptoms come and go, am I ok" type of posts that are answered by opening a number of established threads.

ladystinson

@suchaglencoco I was just getting ready to say this! you can usually spot them because of the AW, dear diary type posts. People who legitimately made a mistake by creating a one off instead of heading to an existing thread usually accept the recommendation to post there with grace, dignity, and thanks lol

@tincupchalice I remember a few s/n's already and I'm sure by the end we'll all recognize more, but what really helps me is the avatars/profile pics and the pics/gifs/memes in the signatures. That's why I hate all the similar knottie names and wish everyone on the bump would change their pic to something beyond the generic bump pics. I think most of us here have, but TTGP was crazy with the generic pics sometimes