TTCAL check-in 10/9 - Page 3 — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

TTCAL check-in 10/9

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Re: TTCAL check-in 10/9

  • vlagrl29 said:

    Also I love when people tell me I have plenty of time like up to 50 years of age.  I remind them when they tell me they know someone who got pregnant at that age - so was it naturally without any fertility medication?  the answer is no - so I say see we aren't looking to go in gobs of debt here.
    I agree, I hate when people tell me that as well.... Or my other favorite is "It will happen when it happens, stop trying so hard..."
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @MelissaMay82 ooo i get the stop trying so hard, and it'll happen once you stop trying. I just want to ask them if they know how babies are made... But i just smile and mentally punch them.
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  • @ELeighMay 1. Get a ten foot pole. 2. Definitely do not touch her with it. Seriously would avoid her, like the plague, which in fact, I think you may be coming down with... @tosh24 hit the nail on the head. You're coming down with something and wouldn't infect anyone with it! Have DH go, and you should enjoy some "me" time instead, which will go WAY further than giving into her selfless BS!  But in all seriousness, I'm sorry you have to deal with her. Hopefully she will be busy after having the baby and leaves you guys alone :(
    ELeighMay
  • @sprkls8506 The fb announcements are so hard to see.

    @ELeighMay I'm sorry for your friend's daughter.  Also, your SIL sounds super annoying. As @tosh24 said, fake a fever, they won't let you in to visit with a fever!  ;)

    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • As I was writing my post yesterday, I found out that my MFM doc retired. I knew him professionally well before I was his patient (and only had one appointment with him). For whatever reason that was such a trigger for me, I completely lost it. In reality if I do get pregnant I will most likely only see MFM once for the u/s around 20 weeks (maybe twice, if they want to do an initial appointment in the beginning to do labs, talk options, etc). I am not sure why this was such a trigger, my emotions have been all over the place lately.
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @kath525 so true!!!
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • Thanks ladies. I am just going to tell DH that I can't do it. If he wants to go and see her, he should. It's his sister, but right now I just can't. It may have been really hard but not necessarily out of the question if she hadn't been such a crappy human this whole time. I think you're right *cough* ladies, I *cough, cough* feel like I'm coming down with something I shouldn't spread.
    leahcimmichael
  • vlagrl29vlagrl29 member
    edited October 2017
    ugh I have a rant.  I had my thyroid and vitamin D levels tested last month.  I wanted them done just for another peace of mind.  Well I get a bill that it was coded as infertility so my insurance won't cover it.  It's a $233 charge.  So I call OB billing dept and talk to that lady.  She puts me on hold as she talks to my nurse.  They tell me they can't recode it because my chart shows I have regular cycles and infertility was noted.  I'm so fucking annoyed.  The billing lady told me she would have my nurse call me.  I just need them to put any code in there to help me out.  It's a lot of money.  I'm also to have a prog test in a couple weeks and I'll need that covered as well.  I told the billing lady that I don't even believe I'm infertile because we haven't even had a full 12 months of timed and charted intercourse.  That's why I'm giving it 3 more months because that will make it a year.  If they aren't willing to help me out for financial reasons  I'll switch OBs again.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • vlagrl29 Seriously? There's NOTHING that they can change that to? People have those tests done for a variety of reasons having nothing to do with infertility. That sucks, I hope they can figure it out for you.
  • ELeighMay Agreed about those stupid phrases. Depending on who the people were, I'd have no qualms about 'replying' to their comments and letting them know how un-helpful they are. Even if it were just a link of "What NOT to say to people having a MC."  Also, sorry about your SIL. If you don't think you can handle going to the hospital Monday, then don't! I mean, I think I heard you cough? It sounds like you may have some sort of contagious disease coming on you wouldn't want to pass on to the LO. So, probably best to stay home until you're SURE you won't cause any issues!  ;-)


    ELeighMay
  • @ELeighMay - I'm at the point where I don't have patience for doctors anymore and I'll just be honest to her and tell her if no one is willing to help me out, let me speak to the dr and I'll tell her we want a doctor that can be there financial there for us as well as physically.

    In other news I had a free consult with the functional medicine doctor earlier and have an appt with her next week.  She said to bring all my supplements.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ELeighMaytosh24
  • @vlagrl29 ugh that is so frustrating. Insurance billing can be the worst, so hopefully they can recode it somehow to get it covered. If not, you should talk to your ob’s office to see if they can discount the charge since you’re paying oop. I work in a specialty clinic and we do that for patients who are paying without insurance. 
  • dpjennifer I'd say POAS and  get the urge out of your system, but if it were me the BFN wouldn't keep my brain from settling down. I hope AF comes soon so you can get back to the business of getting down to business. *insert cheesy sultry music*
    dpjennifer
  • I just had a mini meltdown with DH on the phone.  I'm not infertile and I don't want that damn label.  Sorry if I offend anyone I don't mean to.  It really bothers me and I cry every time they mention it.  It hasn't even been a full year of trying since our loss :(  DH agreed we should talk to the doctor.  I called back and they said I should talk to the office manager.  If she can't help me I will demand an appt with my OB.  DH and I will go and if I don't feel the support I need we will find a different OB practice.  My head is spinning.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    dpjennifer
  • @vlagrl29 I hate how in the medical world, especially when it comes to insurance, they insist on putting labels on everything just so they can bill “properly”. Like when i looked deeper into the bills for my D&C, it was basically coded as an abortion.  Seeing that really made me want to explode,
    so I know how you feel after seeing the “infertility” label. I can’t really offer anything other than empathy here, oh and creepy internet hugs. 
    vlagrl29ELeighMay
  • @sprkls8506 I definitely feel your pain about the baby stuff on social media...I've seen no less than THREE pregnancy announcements this week alone. Ugh. Just, ugh.
  • @ELeighMay I am so sorry to hear that your SIL is a vapid lifesuck. I would definitely be super fake sick on Monday. Gross.
  • @vlagrl29 insurance is horrible! I hope you are able to get the bill changed! 
  • cassafrass15 YES, "vapid lifesuck" is the best term I've seen for her so far. That's totally it, and I feel so sick for my DH and the rest of their family who have dealt with a lifetime of that with her. Ick. I just refuse to get sucked in.
    dpjennifer
  • @ELeighMay Good for you! I also have a toxic SIL and I am content with being polite at family gatherings and otherwise completely ignoring her. It's worked well these past 13 or so years!
    ELeighMay
  • @MelissaMay82 So sorry for your loss. Hopefully your time here will be short.

    @ELeighMay I'm sorry for your friend, but it will be good for her to know that someone out there understands where she's at.  And I'm with everyone else. I can see that you've got a terrible cold building, and you wouldn't want to infect anyone. Its not her first kid, and you don't have to feel bad for not showing up at the hospital. Take things at your own pace.
    ELeighMay
  • @MelissaMay82 I'm sorry for you loss! Hope your stay here is short!

    @ELeighMay I agree with he other ladies that you are coming down with something and don't want to get the baby sick.

    Update on our mattress, each night has gotten better. No more neck pain! I think we are keeping it. 
    Ivy: July 2010  |  Stella: Dec 2012  |  BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020

    ELeighMaydpjenniferaga31
  • I'm feeling better today although my body feels so exhausted.  DH got the kid ready for school this morning so I could sleep in.  I don't know why I let that stuff bother me but it does then it opens a whole can of worms of thoughts that do me no good.

    The office manager called me back last night and talked to me and DH.  We expressed our concerns about the coding and the label and how it was me that ordered the tests not the doctor. She will get back to us on monday at what she can do.  If she can't fix it we asked to speak to the actual doctor about it.  Both DH and I have agreed that if he can't understand and fix this then we will switch practices but I'm not up for that yet.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @vlagrl29 That's so awful, I'm sorry you are going through this. I really hope they apologize and fix this for you. Changing doctors would suck I'm sure, but I would too if they won't fix this. 
  • Thank you @robyn2201 and @nessie1313
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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