TTCAL check-in 10/9 - Page 2 — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

TTCAL check-in 10/9

2

Re: TTCAL check-in 10/9

  • @msstephanielynn oo! That's a good game. We got into that a couple years ago. It's nice that you'll be doing it for someone who has had the same struggles, like you said she'll be understanding hopefully.

    @vlagrl29 it's so sad how expensive IVF and adoption are... My parents adopted 3 kids from Colombia when i was a teenager and they had to take out a huge loan. They're still paying it off. They're adopting another kid right now and i think it's awesome but man it's expensive!!

    @robyn2201 that stinks about the mattress. I've been trying to talk DH into getting another one but he's nervous for that reason.

    @aga31 Hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding!

    @ELeighMay I've never been hunting. We go to the range pretty regularly rough. I love it. My DH and dad really want to go hunting but don't have anyone to show them the ropes.

    @cassafrass15 I literally lol'd at genocidal maniac! So true!

    @nessie1313 I'm sorry, pregnancy announcements are hard.

    @pumpkinpancake eek! Hope the hives are gone soon!! That's horrible!
    ELeighMay
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  • @Mack2342 Hooray! That's wonderful news.

    @Kath525 Your parents sound like saints! It's ridiculous how expensive it is to adopt.

    @msstephanielynn That would be hard, but you are doing such a kindness for your friend!

    AFM, my house is so clean you guys. Like, I'm not sure it's ever been this clean. I guess rage-cleaning has its benefits!
  • 2. Status? Benched. But called RE today, and they're going to do the progesterone biopsy this cycle!  So... hopefully will be off the bench next cycle. 

    3. Rants/Raves Back from Food and Wine Festival in Disney, which was awesome! Had a good time, even though the weather wasn't great. I did notice I had more issues being around all the kids/babies than I did last year. I guess I'm just in a worse place than I was last year. But had an enjoyable trip nonetheless.

    4. GTKY: If you had to live without one of your 5 senses, which one would you give up? 

    leahcimmichael and would have to go with Taste, in the hopes that maybe I’d lose weight.

    Kath525 I love roller coaster tycoon! It’s definitely a good way for me to unwind sometimes.

    robyn2201 Ugh, I hope your soreness isn’t actually from the new mattress itself!  Is it too late to return it?

    aga31 and vlagrl29 My mother and grandmother both went through menopause very early, and had other issues. So I hate it when people tell me the opposite, “You still have time.” Also, I’m 33 and have been on this journey for over 2 years now, so I’m in my ‘prime’ child-bearing age and it hasn’t worked out so great for me. I wish people would mind their own uteruses like you said! As aga31 mentioned, everyone’s life is different.

  • vlagrl29vlagrl29 member
    edited October 2017
    @dpjennifer- great news about the prog biopsy!  Hope you get off that bench soon!

    Also I love when people tell me I have plenty of time like up to 50 years of age.  I remind them when they tell me they know someone who got pregnant at that age - so was it naturally without any fertility medication?  the answer is no - so I say see we aren't looking to go in gobs of debt here.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    dpjennifer
  • @dpjennifer that's great.  Hopefully you will be actively trying next cycle! 
    dpjennifer
  • @dpjennifer that is great news!!!!
    dpjennifer
  • still here, not new
    TWW although AF should be arriving any day now
    Had an amazing weekend away with a bunch of friends for my bday and thanksgiving. Thanks all for the birthday wishes
    We have a weekend getaway trip booked for next weekend to San Fran and up through Sonoma but with the horrible wildfires we definitely won't be getting t Sonoma, we are debating cancelling our trip altogether and going back another time. My heart goes out to everyone effected by the fires, so sad to read of all the devastation
    Well I already have very limited hearing as it is, and to be honest, there's a few benefits. I can easily sleep through loud construction or noisy neighbours or a snoring DH. hehe I'd probably pick smell. I love taste too much!
  • @dpjennifer great news!!!
    Me: 39 DH: 39
    CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
    dpjennifer
  • So completely off subject- went to catch up with Chicago Fire from last season on Hulu. Yep. Gone. Now I have to start with this season!!! 
  • Also I seriously can’t handle the baby posts these days on FB. I want to cry whenever I see one. I am in this funk of feeling hopeless. 
  • @sprkls8506 - sorry for the FB posts. You got this! I gave myself a pep talk to finish the year out strong with BD.

    i watched the lady gaga documentary on Netflix last night. She's coming here next month and I wanna go.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @vlagrl29 I ♥️ Gaga and she is FABULOUS in concert. I need to watch that documentary!
  • @vlagrl29 I’m pretty sure I do daily pep talks when I see them  :|
  • I stopped checking fb (but i didn't delete it) after mc and I think it makes me a way more happy person! I am focusing on my own life now and I am nicely surprised that people who really wanted to stay in touch with me are making effort and contacting me "old style".
  • 1. Introduce yourself.
    Hi. My name is Melissa. This is my first time posting in this board, I have been lurking for a while now but did not have the courage to post.
    *TW*
    When my DH and I decided to stop trying (after 2 years of nothing happening) we became pregnant (it was actually quite a surprise, I thought that I had a virus causing me to be sick). We conceived sometime around Thanksgiving 2015 and had a due date of August 2016. The pregnancy was going great, early blood work was perfect, no concerns at any of the OB-GYN appointments and there was no concerns with the 12 week u/s (baby was actually measuring big). Fast forward to the 20 week u/s, we unfortunately discovered that something was seriously wrong with the development of the long bones, thoracic cavity, and possibly the heart. We were referred to MFM and were told that most likely the baby had a fatal skeletal dysplasia and we had an amniocentesis that day. I had a D&E at the end of that week in early April 2016. Weeks later the amniocentesis results confirmed that it was Thanatophoric skeletal dysplasia, which is in fact a fatal form.
    (End TW)
    We are now ready to start trying again, and this is the first month that we have been actively trying. I have just been tracking my ovulation with OPKs for about 5-6 months now.

    2. Status?
    12 or 13 dpo...I am going crazy during this TWW.

    3. Rants/Raves
    Raves- Loving the warmer fall weather
    Rants- The only real rant I have currently is that I  have to go to work today on my day off to start learning a new computer system we are switching to in a few months.

    4. GTKY: If you had to live without one of your 5 senses, which one would you give up? 
    That is a tough one between smell and taste. I think that I would choose smell.
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @MelissaMay82 So sorry for your loss. Welcome to a great group of supportive ladies here. 
  • @MelissaMay82 I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group. I hope you can find some comfort here. It's been wonderful for me. 

    @dpjennifer  I'm glad you had a good time! And great news about the biopsy. I hope your off the bench soon!

    @40momma sorry you might have to cancel your trip. It's so sad what is happening there now. I went to college right where all the fires are and many of my friends have lots their homes. I hope you will reschedule. If you do and want tips on great places to visit let me know! If you still go for SF one bonus is the sunsets will be absolutely amazing. It's a sad thing but the best sunsets I have seen in my life are during fires- the orange tint that the smoke gives the the sky is crazy. 




    Me: 37 DH: 35
    Married: Oct 2012
    TTC #1: August-ish 2016
    MC: 04.01.2017 @ 9.5 wks 
    BFP 11.26.2017 - DD born 08.12.2018
    TTC#2: end of 2019
    MC: Jan 2020 @ 12 wks


  • @MelissaMay82 So sorry for your loss. Welcome to a great group of supportive ladies here. 
    Thank you 
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

  • jchpg said:
    @MelissaMay82 I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group. I hope you can find some comfort here. It's been wonderful for me. 





    Thank you 
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @MelissaMay82 I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome. I hope your stay here is short. 

    sprkls8506 I hate the FB announcements too, but yesterday came across the daughter of a friend who had just a week ago announced she was expecting post that she had suffered a loss. I felt sick for her knowing what she was about to feel. I felt very sad for her with all the "at least you're young..." or "God has a plan..." etc etc etc. I realize people don't know what to say, but none of those things are helping her right now. I reached out to her and let her know she wasn't alone and if she ever just needed someone to listen to her cry on the other end of the phone I'd be there.
    sprkls8506leahcimmichaeldpjennifer
  • @MelissaMay82 so sorry for your loss, but welcome to our group. Hope you don’t have to stay here long. 
  • @ELeighMay I 100% agree with you. I always tell myself I don’t know their story. I’m sorry for your friends daughter. So kind of you to reach out. 
    ELeighMay
  • So sorry for your loss @MelissaMay82
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • sprkls8506 I couldn't help but feel a guilty. Just a week ago I was resenting her happy news and asking myself why she got to be one of the lucky ones without even trying and here I was. For as much as seeing her first announcement sucked, I hate that she had to join our side of the statistics more.
    dpjennifer
  • @ELeighMay I think we have all been there and agree! When people close to me announce I put on my happy face and do my best to put other stuff aside. 
    ELeighMay
  • @MelissaMay82 so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the group.  Hope your stay is short
  • @mack2342 So glad the biopsy results came out benign!

    @dpjennifer Yay for Disney and for getting off the bench!!!

    @MelissaMay82 So sorry for your loss. Hope this group will help you in your next steps on your journey.

    @ELeighMay FB can be a double-edged sword. So glad you reached out to her! As hard as pregnancy announcements can be, I also have a few friends who have mentioned losses. It’s been helpful during the hard times to know that there are lots of people out there who have been through this struggle.
    Me: 34   DH: 36
    Married: 12/2016
    TTC #1: 8/2016
    MC: 11/2016 at 8w
    CP: 7/2017
    BFP: 11/2017
    EDD: 8/5/2018


    ELeighMay
  • @MelissaMay82 I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading your story is crushing. I'm hopeful that your stay here will be short lived. 
    @eleighmay I know exactly what you mean, the initial ugh she is pregnant, why not me? But then to hear of the loss is even worse. I think exactly what you said is what I would have best liked to hear when I had my losses. I'm sure she is so thankful that you reached out! 
    ELeighMay
  • msstephanielynn I tried to tell her what I would've wanted to hear. I hate hearing the "well at least..." phrases, as I'm sure you all are as well. They seriously make me insane instantly. There is no replacement or substitution for what we've lost. I don't think people know what they're supposed to say so they try to fix it somehow and it just hurts more. She was sad to hear that months later I'm still struggling too, but was relieved to know that what she was feeling was valid. 

    *Rant*
    My SIL text DH yesterday about some typical whiny BS that she's wanting his immediate attention for. She ended her message with "I need you to do this right now, I'm being induced Monday." I honestly wanted to throw is phone out the door. Her whole PG she's been completely attention seeking. It's their third so people have just gone about their lives and haven't shown her the attention they do when it's someones first. It's just different. Anyway, she decided to keep the gender a secret in hopes that people will constantly ask her what it is and potential names. I haven't asked once and it's driving her crazy. She's texting DH asking why I'm not more interested blah, blah, blah. She doesn't know about our loss, so I give her a little bit of 'give' there. On the other hand, I'm going nuts trying to deal with her. She's very in-your-face about it to everyone she knows so it's hard to deal with my own emotions about it when I can't seem to get away from her. DH said she's announcing she's being induced on Monday in hopes that there is a parade in her honor or something, as if she's the first woman to produce a child. Yes, she's that vain. I feel bad because it's not the lo's fault, but I don't know if I'll be able to handle the hospital visit, but I'm not sure I can get away with not going. Sorry for the random rant, I guess I'm just not sure how to handle this resentment I've got going on today. She's an it's-all-about-me person all the time, so the PG has just amplified her demeanor. 
    dpjennifer
  • screw her @ELeighMay - she sounds selfish.  It's her 3rd kid.  who cares!  Do what's best for you.  If a hospital visit is too much then don't go.  You got to put yourself first and not worry about what other people think.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ELeighMay
  • Ugh @ELeighMay she sounds like a peach. 

    I actually think you're about to come down with the sniffles and a low fever on Monday/Tuesday. You should probably sit at home and not infect tiny newborn babies. How super thoughtful of you. 

    But seriously, you don't need to feel guilty for putting up boundaries. I know I've shared my struggles with my sister's 3rd baby. He was born the end of August and I still haven't seen him. Didn't go to the hospital, didn't visit at home, and have been to two family functions since that time where I just avoid him. I don't even know what he looks like because I've hid my sister from my timeline so I don't see pics. You do not need permission to feel the way you do and it is OK for you to not have to visit the hospital. This is not about anyone else but you and although everyone around you won't understand because they don't know about the loss (same as my situation), they are not entitled to know or have a say about how you are handling the situation.
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

    ELeighMay
  • @ELeighMay I was going to say what @tosh24-maybe you have some sniffles!!!! Visiting is def hard!!! You need to do what is best for you. 
    ELeighMay
  • @ELeighMay ugh she sounds like a winner. There are always those people who just want all the attention, but just try and ignore it and her. And you certainly don’t need to go to the hospital if you don’t feel ready. Just say you’re not feeling 100% and play it off as being cautious. 
    ELeighMay
  • ELeighMay said:
    @MelissaMay82 I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome. I hope your stay here is short. 


    Thank you
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @MelissaMay82 so sorry for your loss, but welcome to our group. Hope you don’t have to stay here long. 
    Thank you
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • vlagrl29 said:
    So sorry for your loss @MelissaMay82
    Thank you
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • Mack2342 said:
    @MelissaMay82 so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the group.  Hope your stay is short
    Thank you
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

  • @MelissaMay82 So sorry for your loss. Hope this group will help you in your next steps on your journey.

    Thank you
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @MelissaMay82 I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading your story is crushing. I'm hopeful that your stay here will be short lived. 

    Thank you
    Me: 36, DH: 35
    Married: 8/10/13
    BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
    BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
    BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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