People that continuously make everything sound easy drive me insane!!!
There is a coworker that no matter what task we are given, whether it is "test all of your 35 students, grade, and enter data within 2 hrs.." she's all like "oh yah, that is easy, no problem." this drives me crazy because that is her attitude for even the craziest time frame. Everything is "no problem.." or "easy peasy..." etc... drives me crazy!
ETA more examples:
Childbirth "Oh I loved it, so easy... just eating my popsicle, baby popped right out.."
Pregnancy "I feel normal, no slowing me down. Why do women complain about this? I feel great!"
One more. I think the ticker change threads are annoying. I don’t post in them. Don’t read them. Don’t really care if your parasite is a coconut in size or an endive. And the rest of the post annoys me so much I never even got to reading the GTKY portions whenever I have opened them.
Educators that stay for tutoring or work until all hours of the evening annoy the crap out of me. I stop getting paid at 3:55 and this entitled generation doesn’t deserve to enter into my family time.
I totally get this and have been both people at one time or another. I think what was most frustrating was feeling like I couldn’t keep up with expectations unless I DID stay the crazy hours everyone else did, but that was before I had a kid and then I just said screw it I’m not missing this time with my son. And I just stopped caring about looking ‘as dedicated’ as other teachers because I really did care but grading could wait! Plus I got paid like nothing, soooo...
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
I think second, third whatever showers are tacky UNLESS there's a bigger gap between your kids or if this is the first kiddo for your partner.
I also think this may be kind of based on where you live. It seems like some places it's totally normal to have a bunch of showers. Also the "but I had a girl and now I'm having a boy I need new stuff" argument is dumb. Your son isn't going to explode from being in a pink swing and maybe you should have thought of that beforehand and registered for gender neutral things if it bothers you that much.
I think second, third whatever showers are tacky UNLESS there's a bigger gap between your kids or if this is the first kiddo for your partner.
I also think this may be kind of based on where you live. It seems like some places it's totally normal to have a bunch of showers. Also the "but I had a girl and now I'm having a boy I need new stuff" argument is dumb. Your son isn't going to explode from being in a pink swing and maybe you should have thought of that beforehand and registered for gender neutral things if it bothers you that much.
I can somewhat agree with this but think there are exceptions. I have no idea what the "norm" is in my area. I just know that several people have asked me if I'm having a shower. (I already have a one year old.) I'm not sure why people would think I would throw myself a shower or that I would know whether someone else was going to offer. Now that I know I'm having a boy, I wouldn't be opposed to having a small sprinkle type shower if someone really wanted to do it, but I'm certainly not asking or expecting anything. The first time around I registered for all neutral stuff so that I would be all set for any future kids. Like you said, not that a baby cares what color there are put in. If anything, my immediate family might want to get together and give me some cute boy clothes.
I think second, third whatever showers are tacky UNLESS there's a bigger gap between your kids or if this is the first kiddo for your partner.
I also think this may be kind of based on where you live. It seems like some places it's totally normal to have a bunch of showers. Also the "but I had a girl and now I'm having a boy I need new stuff" argument is dumb. Your son isn't going to explode from being in a pink swing and maybe you should have thought of that beforehand and registered for gender neutral things if it bothers you that much.
THIS! My sister had my nephew (her first) and o threw her a baby shower like a good auntie. When she was pregnant with my niece, who's less than 3 years younger than my nephew, she called me and said "what are you doing for my baby shower?" I went uhhhhhh.....
She kept bugging me and I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't want to do another baby shower because, since she still had a butt ton of baby stuff, I felt it was a gift grab. She then bullied a friend of hers (who was pregnant with her first) into doing a joint baby shower. And she was pissy with me because I didn't buy her a new swing. (I had bought her the swing she wanted with her first.) So glad she lived in another state when her 3rd and 4th babies were born because she would have tried to get more baby showers out of me there too!
My friends are throwing one for me & H because my DD is 15 1/2 and we have zero baby stuff and it's H's 1st. It'll be a low-key co-ed baby shower that's probably more excuse to party than anything else.
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@SarahFoley725 I completely agree!! My cousin just had another baby shower (organized by her sister in law) for her 3rd girl!!! It made no sense to me! It might be more of an area thing and what is normal for your group but no one has asked when we will be having a shower because we know there won't be another one (both DH and my second baby)
@SarahFoley725 agree! I side-eyed a friend who had 3 boys under 4 and requested a shower for each. I helped throw her first shower and she was super ungrateful.
With my DS2 I had no expectations for anything because I had everything I needed and did gender neutral to start. Some friends had a suprise dinner and brought diapers for me.
A coworker/friend is having her 4th girl but her current youngest is in middle school and it’s her husband’s first. We are throwing her a suprise shower.
I think I may go the route another girl in my mom group from my first is going and do an after the baby is born party. Since family normally still likes to get small stuff like a new outfit or something like that it gives a chance to show off the baby and visit with close friends and family. Another girl also mentioned something called a Sprinkle which is a similar idea where they just do small gifts and diapers and such, but that is before the baby is born. I think it depends on the area though and each person's family and friends... I agree though that it can get a little tacky expecting the whole big to do multiple times.
I have been subjected to some pretty tacky baby shower things. My favorite one was when a girl who I haven't talked to in like 9 years FACEBOOK invited me to her shower. I didn't even know she was pregnant. The bad part though is they told us (on FB) if your name starts with A-E buy newborn clothes F-H 3 month clothes etc.
I have been subjected to some pretty tacky baby shower things. My favorite one was when a girl who I haven't talked to in like 9 years FACEBOOK invited me to her shower. I didn't even know she was pregnant. The bad part though is they told us (on FB) if your name starts with A-E buy newborn clothes F-H 3 month clothes etc.
Yeah, I didn't go.
Wow!! Who has time to plan a shower with that many rules!
My UO is I think it is so dumb to have a birth plan and not willing to change it.... I had an idea of how my first was going to go and then guess what? She was breach and all that went out the window! Not saying to not have a plan at all but remember to be flexible! Remember that life happens and all that matters at the end of the day is you're alive and the baby is alive and you get to go home together.
I just don’t really see the point of a second shower unless your kids are really far apart. I’m having a girl after having a boy but I still won’t need to buy much of anything other than a few diapers and some new clothes (though if I was really in a bind she could wear his old clothes, she won’t care!) I might get a double stroller if I get any gear at all, but I don’t think it’s an absolute necessity. I’m not against people having sprinkles or anything but requesting or expecting a second shower is definitely tacky. It’s a lot of work and money for someone to throw you a shower!!
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
@TattoosandLace preach girl! They truly don't know all of the people they hurt with these laws! It should be up to a medical professional and their patient.
@ahoneycutt12 They also fail to understand that the vast majority of these abortions are very emotional and gut wrenching decisions about WANTED pregnancies that are non-viable. They make it sound like it's nothing but women going "I'm tired of being pregnant and changed my mind."
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@SarahFoley725 My UO a few months ago was how I thought 2nd showers were dumb—and people got annoyed by it. It’s funny how much support there is for that opinion now. Lol I stand by that opinion—unless it’s a large age gap, 2nd marriage, twins, and other random cases. I told my friends there was no way I wanted a “sprinkle”. Sign me up for a “sip and see” after baby is here—then give me wine!
@magnolia305 I'd never heard of a "sip and see" until my MIL suggested it for my husband and I. It's our first baby, but his family is spread out over several states and she thought this might be fun and easier for everyone than a traditional shower. I was excited by the idea, especially that I'd actually be able to have a glass of wine by then!
@SarahFoley725 My UO a few months ago was how I thought 2nd showers were dumb—and people got annoyed by it. It’s funny how much support there is for that opinion now. Lol I stand by that opinion—unless it’s a large age gap, 2nd marriage, twins, and other random cases. I told my friends there was no way I wanted a “sprinkle”. Sign me up for a “sip and see” after baby is here—then give me wine!
Part of me thought it had been talked about. I remember the diaper raffle conversation but wasn't sure if we'd done the 2nd showers.
Absolutely agree with all comments against 2nd showers! I just think they are tacky. I know people argue that they want each child to be celebrates but you can do that without it coming across as a gift grab. Maybe it's because I just don't like being the center of attention and found my showers awkward (although I did appreciate the gifts). Unless you have a specific situation, you should have what you need and should never expect people to pay for diapers, wipes, etc. I've heard of people upset that they weren't getting a second shower and couldn't afford those things on their own...then don't have another baby!!
I don't even think a big age Gap is a reason for a second shower. It is to welcome you into motherhood by showing you with gifts. You are already a mother even if your kid is 15 so no need to rewelcome. It's not your friends responsibility to buy you new crap because you have a big age gap in kids. I do have a few notable exceptions with one being if it is DHs first kid then a shower is appropriate but got only how side of the family/with no one that would have been invited to your first shower aside from maybe your mom
DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018
I don't even think a big age Gap is a reason for a second shower. It is to welcome you into motherhood by showing you with gifts. You are already a mother even if your kid is 15 so no need to rewelcome. It's not your friends responsibility to buy you new crap because you have a big age gap in kids. I do have a few notable exceptions with one being if it is DHs first kid then a shower is appropriate but got only how side of the family/with no one that would have been invited to your first shower aside from maybe your mom
I wasn't planning on having one but my friends who were also my bridesmaids called and said "we're having one for you. Would you rather December or January?" I'm not expecting a ton of gifts or a "special day all about me" just all of our friends together one more time before the baby's born. DH will be there & it'll be co-ed. Plus it's his first. Another friend over the summer had a potluck swimming party baby shower where presents were not expected. We swam in their pond and had a bbq. It was a nice party. Our friends look for any reason to celebrate and get together.
Eta: "friends who were also my bridesmaids" because in writing this half asleep I missed that whole sentence.
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DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I don't even think a big age Gap is a reason for a second shower. It is to welcome you into motherhood by showing you with gifts. You are already a mother even if your kid is 15 so no need to rewelcome. It's not your friends responsibility to buy you new crap because you have a big age gap in kids. I do have a few notable exceptions with one being if it is DHs first kid then a shower is appropriate but got only how side of the family/with no one that would have been invited to your first shower aside from maybe your mom
Dh's mother is insisting on throwing a shower. It is dh's first. I've been trying to tell her no, but her reasoning is we don't have baby stuff, she doesn't see it as a welcome to motherhood, but as a way to celebrate baby. I've told her to make it for my dh, and she felt that was a crazy idea.
I had a baby shower with my 1st 2, both given by family (1st was a boy, 22 months later a girl) at family insistence - the 2nd was much smaller than the first.
Absolutely agree with all comments against 2nd showers! I just think they are tacky. I know people argue that they want each child to be celebrates but you can do that without it coming across as a gift grab. Maybe it's because I just don't like being the center of attention and found my showers awkward (although I did appreciate the gifts). Unless you have a specific situation, you should have what you need and should never expect people to pay for diapers, wipes, etc. I've heard of people upset that they weren't getting a second shower and couldn't afford those things on their own...then don't have another baby!!
This is what bugs me about showers. No one should ever *expect* to have a shower, it should be offered by friends or family (I think etiquette says family shouldn't throw one but I'm fine with it). If you don't get offered one, you don't get one, and you should never demand one because you need the stuff. Babies are expensive, might as well get used to it now.
That being said, I understand why a second shower is tacky, but if someone *offers* to throw one then I don't see the harm in accepting. Guests will likely side-eye, as would I, but in that case you should just register for diapers and enjoy a nice luncheon with friends. Now, if you *demand* a second shower because it's been a few years or (gag) it's the opposite sex and god forbid little Johnny is in a pink pack 'n play, you're a special kind of entitled and I wouldn't attend.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
My friend's sister threw a sprinkle for a second child, but it was more of a celebration for the mother since she was having trouble conceiving after her first. It was held during her birthday weekend, and it was a spa theme. She had a small registry, and I loved the fact that it was more about her than her baby. I also got a fabulous mani/pedi, so I couldn't complain!
So maybe it's my lack of friends w/ kids til now, but I'd never heard about sprinkles or sip and sees til here. Those sound like fun and more practical/thoughtful to guests vs another full blown shower (exceptions: big age gap where you tossed all the old baby stuff). Pretty much all the gear on our registry is neutral so we can be useful if we have a 2nd kid, same or different sex.
I'm going to go even more extreme in the UO baby shower theme... I HATE baby showers of all kinds, period. To me, it always comes across as self-centered, money-grubbing, present-demanding nonsense. I hate the stupid games guests are forced to play, that no one likes or cares about. I hate sitting in a circle while a smug woman opens gifts and everyone goes "ooo" and "ahhh." But definitely showers for anything beyond the 1st child are absolutely tacky and unacceptable, no matter the circumstances.
With my first pg, I was absolutely adamant that I wouldn't have a shower. My best friend begged me to let her throw one, and then finally said if I didn't agree and tell her what to include, she would just throw me a surprise one with all of the annoying games. So I told her she could host a painting party, where everyone was given a pallet and paint and chose the cover of their favorite children's book to paint that we would hang in DD's nursery. People had a really amazing time and nobody had to wear a damn toilet paper diaper.
@precious88 I feel this way about wedding showers, you're already getting a wedding gift so WHY? Especially since most people these days are getting married later (late 20s at least), have been living away from parents for a while and even living together do a while.
I felt neutral about baby showers, didn't enjoy attending but I kind of got the point until I had my own baby shower. Now I LOVE the Idea of baby showers and happily attend any I'm invited too. I cried at mine and loved the concept of being welcomed into motherhood and being shown support from so many females in my life. Also, the gifts are so wonderful. There's so much you need to buy for a baby in such a short amount of time it's overwhelming and every small gift counted so much and was so appreciated. That said I also think people should feel free to decline any showers they don't wish to attend. No one should be guilt tripped into buying a gift for someone they hardly know or care about because they've been invited and etiquette "requires" it of them. I have a friend who's happily single in her mid 30s and has never had a major gift giving type of event like a wedding, baby shower, or housewarming and yet she's dutifully attended so many of our showers and I don't think it's very fair
I've never felt strongly about what other people do when it comes to showers. My mom and aunt threw a shower for me with my first, and the milspouses of my ex-H's unit threw a surprise shower. Since we lived 2700 miles away from my family with my second and third, and I wasn't much for social gatherings to begin with, there was no way to have a shower. Some former milspouse friends gave us a gift basket when I had my second, but we pretty much had everything we needed. The kids and I lived near my mom and sister when I was pregnant with my fourth and everything we had from before was in storage in another state. A shower still wasn't something that crossed my mind, and it wouldn't have been an option since I didn't have friends or extended relatives in the area. My mom just took me shopping.
There's five years between ds2 and dd3. Since I was going through a divorce and moving back to my home state and selling and donating a lot of old kid stuff, I didn't own anything baby related when my now-husband and I married. It was also his first. A shower still would have been weird because I didn't have friends or family nearby, only H's friends and family, which isn't quite the same. I'm super introverted and feel weird being the center of attention. My MIL opted to take me shopping.
I know my own family loves throwing showers, even for subsequent pregnancies. Perhaps it's a regional and cultural thing.
G 12.04 | E 11.06 | D 11.08 | H 12.09 | R 11.14 | Expecting #6 2.16.18.
I have LOTS of unpopular opinions, but they're just that. Not necessarily fact based or evidence based so I'd rather just post about mundane things like hating pumpkin spice (which I do) than stir the pot and end up in an internet arguement about my opinion.
I also hate the weekly ticker change thing, and actually most of the speciality check ins (aside from the after a loss because I can't even imagine how terrifying pregnancy after a loss would be) and this is coming from someone who struggled with infertility with both my pregnacies.
Andrea (31), married Aaron (36) September 2012
Parents to fur babies Tiki and Gizzmo and 2yr old Georgia IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI EDD: Feb 5, 2018
Re: UO | 10.5
There is a coworker that no matter what task we are given, whether it is "test all of your 35 students, grade, and enter data within 2 hrs.." she's all like "oh yah, that is easy, no problem." this drives me crazy because that is her attitude for even the craziest time frame. Everything is "no problem.." or "easy peasy..." etc... drives me crazy!
ETA more examples:
Childbirth "Oh I loved it, so easy... just eating my popsicle, baby popped right out.."
Pregnancy "I feel normal, no slowing me down. Why do women complain about this? I feel great!"
I think second, third whatever showers are tacky UNLESS there's a bigger gap between your kids or if this is the first kiddo for your partner.
I also think this may be kind of based on where you live. It seems like some places it's totally normal to have a bunch of showers. Also the "but I had a girl and now I'm having a boy I need new stuff" argument is dumb. Your son isn't going to explode from being in a pink swing and maybe you should have thought of that beforehand and registered for gender neutral things if it bothers you that much.
She kept bugging me and I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't want to do another baby shower because, since she still had a butt ton of baby stuff, I felt it was a gift grab. She then bullied a friend of hers (who was pregnant with her first) into doing a joint baby shower. And she was pissy with me because I didn't buy her a new swing. (I had bought her the swing she wanted with her first.) So glad she lived in another state when her 3rd and 4th babies were born because she would have tried to get more baby showers out of me there too!
My friends are throwing one for me & H because my DD is 15 1/2 and we have zero baby stuff and it's H's 1st. It'll be a low-key co-ed baby shower that's probably more excuse to party than anything else.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
With my DS2 I had no expectations for anything because I had everything I needed and did gender neutral to start. Some friends had a suprise dinner and brought diapers for me.
A coworker/friend is having her 4th girl but her current youngest is in middle school and it’s her husband’s first. We are throwing her a suprise shower.
Yeah, I didn't go.
I think that outlawing late term abortion is heartless and old white men need to gtfo of women’s uteruses.
Thank you! I've been arguing on every single Facebook news article about this!
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Eta: "friends who were also my bridesmaids" because in writing this half asleep I missed that whole sentence.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I had a baby shower with my 1st 2, both given by family (1st was a boy, 22 months later a girl) at family insistence - the 2nd was much smaller than the first.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
That being said, I understand why a second shower is tacky, but if someone *offers* to throw one then I don't see the harm in accepting. Guests will likely side-eye, as would I, but in that case you should just register for diapers and enjoy a nice luncheon with friends. Now, if you *demand* a second shower because it's been a few years or (gag) it's the opposite sex and god forbid little Johnny is in a pink pack 'n play, you're a special kind of entitled and I wouldn't attend.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
With my first pg, I was absolutely adamant that I wouldn't have a shower. My best friend begged me to let her throw one, and then finally said if I didn't agree and tell her what to include, she would just throw me a surprise one with all of the annoying games. So I told her she could host a painting party, where everyone was given a pallet and paint and chose the cover of their favorite children's book to paint that we would hang in DD's nursery. People had a really amazing time and nobody had to wear a damn toilet paper diaper.
I felt neutral about baby showers, didn't enjoy attending but I kind of got the point until I had my own baby shower. Now I LOVE the Idea of baby showers and happily attend any I'm invited too. I cried at mine and loved the concept of being welcomed into motherhood and being shown support from so many females in my life. Also, the gifts are so wonderful. There's so much you need to buy for a baby in such a short amount of time it's overwhelming and every small gift counted so much and was so appreciated.
That said I also think people should feel free to decline any showers they don't wish to attend. No one should be guilt tripped into buying a gift for someone they hardly know or care about because they've been invited and etiquette "requires" it of them. I have a friend who's happily single in her mid 30s and has never had a major gift giving type of event like a wedding, baby shower, or housewarming and yet she's dutifully attended so many of our showers and I don't think it's very fair
Did you catch this?
TW:
(not that I'm surprised)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/10/03/gop-rep-repeatedly-promoted-pro-life-stance-a-week-after-reportedly-telling-mistress-to-get-abortion/?utm_term=.7c25c0868cc3
There's five years between ds2 and dd3. Since I was going through a divorce and moving back to my home state and selling and donating a lot of old kid stuff, I didn't own anything baby related when my now-husband and I married. It was also his first. A shower still would have been weird because I didn't have friends or family nearby, only H's friends and family, which isn't quite the same. I'm super introverted and feel weird being the center of attention. My MIL opted to take me shopping.
I know my own family loves throwing showers, even for subsequent pregnancies. Perhaps it's a regional and cultural thing.
I also hate the weekly ticker change thing, and actually most of the speciality check ins (aside from the after a loss because I can't even imagine how terrifying pregnancy after a loss would be) and this is coming from someone who struggled with infertility with both my pregnacies.
IF veterans; #1 conceived on second clomid+HCG+IUI, #2 conceived on 1st Letrozole+HCG+IUI
EDD: Feb 5, 2018