How big of a family do you want?

mommabmb

There are a lot of STM+ on this board and I'm interested to know... How may children do you (think you right this minute) want?

mommabmb

We have 4, LO will make 5- and we're open to one more!

mileswithmyles

This baby will make us a family of four. With how sick I've been when pregnant and for financial reasons, we are going to be two and through. 

gildah

This will be baby number 5 for us! I've always wanted a big family, so here we are!

sparkymcgeee

Two and through. I'm on my third. Lol. 

I really did want to be done at 2 and then I had this nagging feeling for 2.5 years that there was supposed to be one more to join our family. I denied it for a long time. We held off and then I got sick and the doc told me I couldn't ever have more children so that sealed it for me. The feeling never went away. So we went to some high risk docs, saw an MFM and Rheum (I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease) and the new Rheum figured out I didn't have an AID and I was told babies were back on the table. After that we got pregnant 6 months later and I miscarried. I told DH that we'll try one more time and if it works then great and if not we're good with our two. 5 months later here we are. 

sparklingdiamond

Two and through.  I originally would have been cool with 3, but it took us so long to get pregnant with both that I am just happy for these two!

lscal20

5-6! This will be #3 for us and we'd both like 5 or 6

sharkmama39

I've always wanted 2, that way they have someone to play with when they're young and a friend for life and built in support when they are older. 

My dh wanted 3 and then changed his mind to 1 and done after DD. Luckily I changed his mind lol

yesthisiskim0401

This will be #3 for us. I'm unsure if we will go for a fourth or not (we always wanted 4, but then we had kids and lol-ed at younger us), so I'm treating this like my last pregnancy. 

Pearlvirus

@yesthisiskim0401 we're in the same place! This is #3 and we kinda expected we'd have 4, but I'm just feeling really done right now. Maybe I'll change my mind when I stop feeling so sick. But maybe not because my babies hate sleep, so I've still got a long road ahead....

sandbar517

I grew up with 7 brothers and sisters, and always thought I wanted a big family, too.  Similar to @yesthisiskim0401, I now LOL at my younger self.  When MH and I met and started talking about such things, I had decided on 4, he was good with 2.  So we compromised on 3.  After the twins, he thought for sure we were done, and I agreed for a while.  But then I just got that feeling.  It took a lot of discussions and time, but he finally agreed that he wants another.  So this will be it.  For sure.  I'm not doing this again.  

nanifrog

I used to want 4-5 and DH wanted 2 but would agree to 3. Then we had 2 kids who are difficult. We debated a 3rd for 4 years. Now I'm ku and still not sure I can handle 3.

thunderberry

I feel like I won't be able to decide that until I've seen how the first kid turns out . I'm honestly pretty nervous about being a mom, I like my lifestyle and am not really interested in having to get a minivan and ship kids around to various activities all day every day. Right now one and done seems nice and manageable to me, but maybe I will feel differently once I have actually experienced it. My husband does think that every kid should have a sibling and I can see his point there, although he's really tight with his sister while I'm less so with my brother so we have slightly different perspectives. And of course I have always really wanted a little girl, so if this one turns out to be a boy, I will probably be easier to persuade to have another Sooo I guess my answer is I don't know yet!

eryale

gildah said:

This will be baby number 5 for us! I've always wanted a big family, so here we are!

Same! I'm right there with you. With how yucky I feel, I don't think I could ever sign up for this again! And I guess it wouldn't be financially responsible either... So, 2 and through!

holli0801

2 and through. We love to travel and I can't imagine trying to do that with more (due to cost and being outnumbered!) The only way we would have more eventually is through adoption or foster care. And that would be down the road.

eryale

eryale said:

gildah said:

This will be baby number 5 for us! I've always wanted a big family, so here we are!

Same! I'm right there with you. With how yucky I feel, I don't think I could ever sign up for this again! And I guess it wouldn't be financially responsible either... So, 2 and through!

Omg! That was the wrong "quote"! Excuse my technological challenges! 

doraleigh35

I'm pretty sure we're two and through. I think between finances and lifestyle two is our limit. 

thedawkterswife

Because it takes us so long to get pregnant, it's likely we will be done at 2 because of my age. I personally don't want any children after 40 and I'll be 36 when this one is born. If we go for a third, we will go straight to a RE when this one is 6 months old and start IUI treatments again. 

jessnoel89

I want four but I think I'll be done after this one giving us two. We've been talking about possibly adopting in the future though.

thunderberry

Woah I just noticed that out of 43 votes not a single person has said they only want one! That is so interesting to me. I know a lot of people who decided to stop at one kid. I wonder why that doesn't show up in the poll.

Kendrajos

2 & Through for us! I literally never want to be pregnant again. It took 6+ yrs after our son to decide on this one. And the traumatic pregnancy and birth never really faded from memory. I just think that at this point it was either let's try and be prepared or be one and done. 

Side Note: 10 ppls have voted for 9+!!!???? I don't mean to be judgey but damn! I am interested to see the reasoning there? I volunteer at my son's school and have worked with groups of 6-10, 5-6 yr olds and they are nuts when in a group and wanna be silly. I know that 9 siblings would be a separate age range but still to me it would be insanity. But forgive my ignorance since I currently just have 1 so I can't even relate to being a mom of siblings yet.

mommabmb

Kendrajos said:

Side Note: 10 ppls have voted for 9+!!!???? I don't mean to be judgey but damn! I am interested to see the reasoning there? I volunteer at my son's school and have worked with groups of 6-10, 5-6 yr olds and they are nuts when in a group and wanna be silly. I know that 9 siblings would be a separate age range but still to me it would be insanity. But forgive my ignorance since I currently just have 1 so I can't even relate to being a mom of siblings yet.

Yes, @Kendrajos! I was shocked! I put that on there thinking "No one will pick this, or maybe one person".... but... if I'm TOTALLY honest... I want that many. I just can't with working, but I WANT that many. I'd love to just keep having/adopting babies and raising them. It's obviously not financially going to work for us, but I wouldn't be opposed to continuing to foster or raise kids well into my later years

Kendrajos

@mommabmb yeah I would love to adopt someday. But for now, we can only comfortably support 2 kiddos I think. Maybe the 9+ ppls are foster parents? LoL my curiosity is peeked!

mommabmb

Kendrajos said:

@mommabmb yeah I would love to adopt someday. But for now, we can only comfortably support 2 kiddos I think. Maybe the 9+ ppls are foster parents? LoL my curiosity is peeked!

Maybe? I think I'm the only active FP here, but maybe!! 

Ceridwen77

We were OAD but not anymore! Two and through for sure. Vasectomy incoming. 

Shima42

My theory about the 9+ers is that most of them are saying that they WANT as many babies as possible. I felt that way the moment I had my daughter in my arms. Practically, I think I can probably manage 2.

zizzabell523

2 and through. As long as this one is a boy. If it's a girl, we *might* try one more time to carry on DH's family name. You know, since he's the only male left in the family of child-producing age. No pressure...

Poppy0419

DH wants 4. I want 2. I'd go for 3 if I could skip the first trimester but I feel worse than I did with my first so I think after this I'm done. 

loko08

We've been saying we only want 2 for years. But with how close in age these two will be (1.5 years) we're open to a third in a couple years. 

mommabmb

Ceridwen77 said:

We were OAD but not anymore! Two and through for sure. Vasectomy incoming. 

Fun fact: My husband had his V scheduled for October before we got pregnant... he did not find getting pregnant at the last possible moment as amusing as I did. 

cups4

I swore up and down after our horrible hospital experience and typical first year with a baby we were one and done.  Then he got all cute and it got "easier" and here I am down the same road.  No more than 2.  I do NOT have rose colored glasses about the first year and I know the rough time I'm in for which makes me more nervous than last time! But, alas, I needed another

bwow615

I think I will be good with 2... I kinda want a third, but age is creeping up on me too.  So we will see how things are after this one is born and probably decide from there.  I have 2 sisters, and SO has 3 sisters. 

charlestonchew

@thunderberry I am considering OAD and DH says he is adamant only one but I picked 2 cause I'm not positive how I will feel after one. DH and I are both only children and actually really enjoyed it.

sparkymcgeee

So two fun stories about my aunt and uncle. 
My aunt wanted a girl so badly. She was so jealous of my mother and my other aunt for having girls. She was girl hungry. She had six boys trying to get their girl.
They finally decided okay, enough is enough. We're not going to keep having babies on the off chance it will be a girl. Uncle gets the V. Two weeks later my aunt finds out that she's pregnant. Well this has to be her miracle baby girl right? Nope. Seventh boy. 

lincbeesmom

We were one and done for a while but as our son got older we decided that a sibling would be something beneficial for him and we actually pictured our life with 2 Kids. 

CraftyG

When I was younger my favourite movie was cheaper by the dozen and since then I've always wanted that many. In reality I'd love four but get told I'm crazy and that's too many kids, wonder what they'd say if I told them I'd want more than that haha!

ivyvines6

I wanted to be one and done... But hey guys!

kpc914

@zizzabell523 Maybe this is more fitting for the UO board, but....you know, girls can pass on their family names as well right? :-) call me progressive, but I freaking love my last name and my kids are getting it, too. 

thunderberry

charlestonchew said:

@thunderberry I am considering OAD and DH says he is adamant only one but I picked 2 cause I'm not positive how I will feel after one. DH and I are both only children and actually really enjoyed it.

Good to know! I feel like most only children seem to have been happy as long as they had loving parents. And obviously I plan to be an awesome parent DH has a friend who was an only child who I think had a lonely childhood, and it influenced his opinion. But there were other things in play there. 

thunderberry

kpc914 said:

@zizzabell523 Maybe this is more fitting for the UO board, but....you know, girls can pass on their family names as well right? :-) call me progressive, but I freaking love my last name and my kids are getting it, too. 

Yessssssss you go I have really been wrestling with the name issue lately actually. I really fucking hate that its considered normal for the Mom's family to be erased from the name of her own kid, when she actually made them from scratch to begin with. But our names sound bad hyphenated, and I have to admit DH's name sounds way more awesome than mine. How are you working it out? Are they getting just yours, or a hyphen, or...? 

bearwithme

I always wanted three, but Im not sure I could do prenancy again. I am so super sick. I was sick with dS until about 20 weeks and it's not showing any sign of letting up anytime soon with this LO. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally spent from being so sickness during pregnancies. 

Adoption has always been in my heart, if DH is on board, I'd be open to adopting our third. But that's a discussion for another day.