Honestly there's been no intimacy here because I get in the pissiest mood imaginable every night around 6:30 for no reason. I hope you mamas with PGAL brain are able to calm your nerves after the first tri.
I'll ask my midwife at my next appointment, but just want opinions from you all. Would you feel comfortable taking Benadryl (the kids' variety, liquid) to help you sleep? If so, how often?
Okay few questions - I might also cross-post this in the STM mom thread to get their imput (FTM here)
1) Suggestions for baby books? Not pregnancy books, but books to read about when baby comes home. I will be clueless and would like a good recommendation for a book(s) that can help me prepare while pregnant.
2) I saw in a thread (can't remember) that someone already booked infant daycare and they are so thankful because they are already booked through next August. OMG. I don't want to put the cart before the horse becuase its so early, but I am wondering if I should start to get on this?
@GG620 I just had What to Expect The First Year. It was fine, but I don't think I actually looked at it since she was like 3 months old. I also read The Happiest Baby on the Block, but never actuality used the technique bc DD was a unicorn baby. (Sorry!)
I think the daycare thing depends on your area. I'd at least suggest calling a few you are interested in to get an idea of infant room wait lists so you get an idea of how soon you should get serious about looking. My area doesn't have crazy waiting lists so we started the search early second tri.
Also I've seen some BMBs have a "FTM questions for STMs" thread. Do you think that is too similar to the Weekly Questions thread?
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@HappyMonkey817 My doc said it was absolutely fine to take Benadryl (which is the same ingredient as Simply Sleep and many other OTC sleep aids) for sleep or allergy issues as I needed, with the only caveat being that it can dehydrate you... and I've been so nauseated I haven't wanted to risk anything that can increase that. I used to take melatonin every night for sleep (which doc said not to use), so I've missed the deeper sleep it can provide. I'd be okay taking it a couple nights a week if my nausea wasn't fear-mongering me.
@becausescience I was wondering that as well. I don't want too much redundancy, but I also wonder if it would open up a more specific/different discussion that would be helpful to FTMs. Anyone else have any thoughts?
Yeah, I suppose I will start looking around at daycare. NJ is a pretty scary place when it comes to wait lists and costs. meep
@GG620 - To be honest, I found books to be very discouraging. My daughter was super-difficult, and suggestions in the books never, ever worked. It made me feel like a weirdo. Looking back, I wish I had stayed away from the books and just gone with the flow. Also, I was pretty clueless going into the first one. I had never changed a diaper, and had never even met a newborn before.
Also I've seen some BMBs have a "FTM questions for STMs" thread. Do you think that is too similar to the Weekly Questions thread?
You could always do a "FTMs ask STMs edition" of the weekly question thread. With any questions being welcome of course, but it would ensure more STMs come in the thread.
@HappyMonkey817 It looks like it should be okay but I might lean towards the Unisom because it's what doctors already recommend for nausea. And, for you, I would try to stay away from anything dehydrating. (Thanks for the inspiration. I broke down and went and bought yogurt and chia seeds. / )
@GG620 You know, my sister was sent home from the hospital with an amazing book. I'll ask her what the name of it was. It covered a lot of the medical side, when to call the doctor, when it's just normal. Stuff like that. As for daycare, it can't hurt to call a few of your top choices and see what their situation is as far as a wait list goes. Some places it's like you should be getting on the list when you're ovulating or something. It's crazy. I think I need to start working on that if this appointment goes okay. And I know it's hard with the PGAL but maybe try to look at it as preparing just in case? Or the same reason you went ahead and quit drinking even though you still have a bit of doubt, kwim? It's just what you do and it can't hurt to be prepared.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I'll ask my midwife at my next appointment, but just want opinions from you all. Would you feel comfortable taking Benadryl (the kids' variety, liquid) to help you sleep? If so, how often?
My allergies get really bad when pregnant (it was awful with my son and seems to be ramping up with this baby as well) and my doctor said there is no harm in taking regular adult Benadryl. I just took one a few times a week to help with congestion/sneezing/swollen eyes. it was a an added perk that it helped me sleep, lol.
@GG620, the daycare process can be challenging if you live in an area where infant openings are hard t come by. I'd start calling around now (it can't hurt to just get a feel for the area), and then you'll have a good idea going into the second trimester of where you want to interview and gather more information. I've already secured a spot for this LO due to our area's shortage of openings.
Scam sensitivity: We secured a spot with a daycare before DD was born. Six days before I was supposed to return from work from maternity leave, she emailed and said, "Due to unforeseen circumstances, I'll be unable to start your daughter. I can either return your money (first month's payment plus an extra $200 to secure an infant spot), or I can contact you next week with more information. After months of her lying about the check being in the mail, we filed a small claims court to get our $1000+ back, we won the judgement, and she still hasn't paid. We have 10 years to collect on the judgement, but she and her husband have been slippery about the whole situation, and they have many debtors who are breathing down their necks. She has done this before. She ran a center in a different state and was shut down; she did it to countless other families in our area and her other state. The more DH and I dug into this situation, the more we uncovered about how easily people can do this. The cautionary tale is that I highly encourage you to check references thoroughly and try to go beyond numbers that the provider gives you. See if you can find them, or any information on them, on different care sites where parents can leave reviews. There are people out there who take advantage of the emotional investment that new parents have in finding the right provider, and they know all the right things to say.
With that said, we have been with an in-home daycare in our area that has been truly outstanding and a second family to us. When you interview, the provider(s) is often seeing if you're a good fit for them as much as they're a good fit for you. We should start a thread with daycare in mind at some point because there are a lot of good questions to ask when you do those interviews!
@livenlove44 omg I am so sorry that you have had to go through that! And thank you so much for all the information. I would definitely be interested to know what sort of questions to ask during the interviews!
@GG620 - To be honest, I found books to be very discouraging. My daughter was super-difficult, and suggestions in the books never, ever worked. It made me feel like a weirdo. Looking back, I wish I had stayed away from the books and just gone with the flow. Also, I was pretty clueless going into the first one. I had never changed a diaper, and had never even met a newborn before.
Every single part of this!! Books (and omg even some reputable internet sources) are the worst! Once I swore off reading (I know how that sounds) I enjoyed my son so so much more.
I'll ask my midwife at my next appointment, but just want opinions from you all. Would you feel comfortable taking Benadryl (the kids' variety, liquid) to help you sleep? If so, how often?
I'd probably lean towards unisom, but I don't think there's anything wrong with taking Benadryl to get some sleep.
@GG620 As I understand it, the deal with daycare is state mandated ratios. Example: A daycare has 2 workers in an infant room and 8 babies in a 4:1 ratio. The 9th baby to sign up would be wait listed until the school can determine need and hiring and all that jazz.
I think a Questions thread specifically for FTM to ask STM is a good idea @becausescience. Maybe just feel it out to see how often it needs to be posted like weekly, biweekly, monthly, etc
@GG620 It definitely depends on the school. Many higher end "preschools" that are also accredited have ratios that are smaller than state requires them to have. (State might require 8 toddlers to 1 teacher, but they will only leave 6 toddlers with 1 teacher.) So infant room wait lists can get long. It may be good to start visiting now if you have some in mind already.
I just read unisom. Do yall think that's ok? I really need to be sleeping when everyone else is sleeping. I keep waking up and have trouble staying asleep all of a sudden!! I'm not the best sleeper to begin with, but it's gotten bad. I think I even have unisom here at home, hubby was having issues a few months back.
Adrian 7.6.07 - ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder, Learning Disability-NOS Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
@GG620 The Wonder Weeks is a really popular one; it talks about the normal times for mental "leaps" in development that often come after "stormy" periods where baby may be more fussy/clingy than normal. It sounded too good to be true, but it was very accurate with my first baby! I did find though that after a while I would just get stressed waiting for the next "thing" to occur - if it wasn't a mental leap from this book it was a growth spurt or sleep regression from another book! Once I stopped reading and Googling everything and just went with the flow I found things to be less stressful... just my experience! Also, my son's day care was only a $100 deposit so we put the deposit down ASAP. We figured $100 was worth the peace of mind! I can definitely understand wanting to wait if the deposit was larger. In our area, there often can be long waiting lists for the most popular schools.
@GG620 The only book we had was Baby 411, which we got after DS was born, and we only used it as a reference. It has a very good breakdown in the table of contents and it was nice to be able to look up individual issues rather than read a whole manual.
As for Internet sources, I relied on two: images of the Wonder Weeks chart, and The Baby Sleep Site. I did not read the Wonder Weeks book, because if you accept that wonder weeks are a thing, you don't really need to know how the authors arrived at their theory, just when the weeks are. Every time DS cried all the time and wouldn't sleep and I wondered what I was doing wrong, I checked the chart, and if it happened to be a wonder week, I knew all bets were off and just let him sleep on me, and sure enough he was back to normal in a few days. Basically I just felt better knowing it was a wonder week.
As for The Baby Sleep Site, I pretty much followed everything on there like it was instructions. DS always woke a lot during the night and was a difficult napper, but I found the age appropriate techniques on that site worked as well as they could for us. DS could fall asleep on his own at night by 5 months, and by 8 months when he was weaned and could put his binkie back in his own mouth, he became a total champ sleeper who required no rocking. We never had to do cry it out, and now he's almost two and a half and he still just goes to bed like a pro. I'm totally doing this again for #2.
My OB said unison, Benadryl, and ambien are all safe to take for sleep, fwiw.
Ambien is safe!? I had no idea. I don't take it anymore because it used to make me do weird shit if I didn't fall asleep right away but good to know if nothing else works.
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Are NT scans standard practice or just recommended if you're AMA or have other risk factors? My old OB never offered it with my son. I have a consult with a new OB tomorrow and I'm wondering if I should ask about it since I'm coming up on 12 weeks.
@hullabalou My OB said we will talk about the NT scan at my first appointment and I am not AMA, but I do have a history of loss. From the way the nurse was talking, it seemed standard practice though.
Ya'll I went down the rabbit hole of daycare....wtf. Why does it have to be all secretive about price and do the whole 'come in for a tour' blah blah. Just tell me the price. I am going to find out anyway. Rant over.
@becausescience yeah pft the three infant day cares near me all require you to come in for a tour before they tell you a price because "depends on specific age, times you need, days, etc." . The first one did say they have availability for when the LO would start. I didn't call the other two yet for fear of DH coming home to three scheduled daycare tours and being all wtf? haha
@hullabalou I *think* CA (which is where I am) requires insurance companies to cover the NT scan + one of the blood tests as a standard option for everyone, but since the NT scan machines are not everywhere, not everyone gets it. I'm gonna do it, but I have to travel a couple hours for it to a bigger hospital owned by my HMO.
@GG620 I'd second, or third, the Happiest Baby on the Block. We had the book and DVD gifted to us before our first, and my husband felt so much more comfortable and empowered to help baby sleep when she didn't need to be eating. It let me relax and rest more knowing he had "tricks" to soothe her!
@hullabalou With my first it was presented as pretty standard. Now with the NIPT testing it's being presented as more of an either/or option and we opted for the NIPT. I think if I request it, my doctor would let me do both.
My OB said unison, Benadryl, and ambien are all safe to take for sleep, fwiw.
Ambien is safe!? I had no idea. I don't take it anymore because it used to make me do weird shit if I didn't fall asleep right away but good to know if nothing else works.
Yep it's safe! Took it all last pregnancy with absolutely no issues. I've taken it a couple times this pregnancy as well.
Hi guys, I'm sorry I haven't responded. I've been working nonstop, and have a miserable cold on top of it all.
Thanks @stephbrim24@muggle621 and @hullabalou for the hair-dying question. I will probably try to wait until out of 1st tri, or close to it. We go on vacation the week of Sept. 9th, so I'd like one more round of highlights before the trip.
For those asking about sexy time, put me in the one time since BFP group. And that one time was because the hormones made like a teenager and I had to call DH to come help me out (this was an old FFFC).
Also, yes diphenhydramine (Benadryl) is ok, but for me it loses efficacy the more I take it. I had the worse next-day drowsiness with unisom, so I only take that for emergencies (like multiple nights with no sleep). They gave me ambien in the hospital the night before my induction with my first.
Here's my question...I know that we can't "show" this early (I'm only 7+1), but omg my stomach is awful. So my youngest is 9 months. She was a big baby, and I never fully got back in shape after her. I definitely had a little pouch left over (plus about 7-10 lbs depending on the time of day I weighed). Lately, the pouch is SO BAD, especially by the end of the day. Do you think it's bloat? I'm feeling so crappy about my body. I'm definitely not gonna be a cute pregnant person, I'm gonna be a whale
Re: Questions - Week of August 7
1) Suggestions for baby books? Not pregnancy books, but books to read about when baby comes home. I will be clueless and would like a good recommendation for a book(s) that can help me prepare while pregnant.
2) I saw in a thread (can't remember) that someone already booked infant daycare and they are so thankful because they are already booked through next August. OMG. I don't want to put the cart before the horse becuase its so early, but I am wondering if I should start to get on this?
[spoiler]
Me: 28 Him: 30
Married: 11/15/14
TTC: 02/2016
IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS
June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d
August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d
June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!
Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)
[/spoiler]
I think the daycare thing depends on your area. I'd at least suggest calling a few you are interested in to get an idea of infant room wait lists so you get an idea of how soon you should get serious about looking. My area doesn't have crazy waiting lists so we started the search early second tri.
Also I've seen some BMBs have a "FTM questions for STMs" thread. Do you think that is too similar to the Weekly Questions thread?
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Yeah, I suppose I will start looking around at daycare. NJ is a pretty scary place when it comes to wait lists and costs. meep
[spoiler]
Me: 28 Him: 30
Married: 11/15/14
TTC: 02/2016
IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS
June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d
August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d
June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!
Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)
[/spoiler]
@GG620 You know, my sister was sent home from the hospital with an amazing book. I'll ask her what the name of it was. It covered a lot of the medical side, when to call the doctor, when it's just normal. Stuff like that. As for daycare, it can't hurt to call a few of your top choices and see what their situation is as far as a wait list goes. Some places it's like you should be getting on the list when you're ovulating or something. It's crazy. I think I need to start working on that if this appointment goes okay. And I know it's hard with the PGAL but maybe try to look at it as preparing just in case? Or the same reason you went ahead and quit drinking even though you still have a bit of doubt, kwim? It's just what you do and it can't hurt to be prepared.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
My allergies get really bad when pregnant (it was awful with my son and seems to be ramping up with this baby as well) and my doctor said there is no harm in taking regular adult Benadryl. I just took one a few times a week to help with congestion/sneezing/swollen eyes. it was a an added perk that it helped me sleep, lol.
Scam sensitivity: We secured a spot with a daycare before DD was born. Six days before I was supposed to return from work from maternity leave, she emailed and said, "Due to unforeseen circumstances, I'll be unable to start your daughter. I can either return your money (first month's payment plus an extra $200 to secure an infant spot), or I can contact you next week with more information. After months of her lying about the check being in the mail, we filed a small claims court to get our $1000+ back, we won the judgement, and she still hasn't paid. We have 10 years to collect on the judgement, but she and her husband have been slippery about the whole situation, and they have many debtors who are breathing down their necks. She has done this before. She ran a center in a different state and was shut down; she did it to countless other families in our area and her other state. The more DH and I dug into this situation, the more we uncovered about how easily people can do this. The cautionary tale is that I highly encourage you to check references thoroughly and try to go beyond numbers that the provider gives you. See if you can find them, or any information on them, on different care sites where parents can leave reviews. There are people out there who take advantage of the emotional investment that new parents have in finding the right provider, and they know all the right things to say.
With that said, we have been with an in-home daycare in our area that has been truly outstanding and a second family to us. When you interview, the provider(s) is often seeing if you're a good fit for them as much as they're a good fit for you. We should start a thread with daycare in mind at some point because there are a lot of good questions to ask when you do those interviews!
[spoiler]
Me: 28 Him: 30
Married: 11/15/14
TTC: 02/2016
IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS
June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d
August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d
June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!
Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)
[/spoiler]
So, each school has a different policy for this.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Also, my son's day care was only a $100 deposit so we put the deposit down ASAP. We figured $100 was worth the peace of mind! I can definitely understand wanting to wait if the deposit was larger. In our area, there often can be long waiting lists for the most popular schools.
As for Internet sources, I relied on two: images of the Wonder Weeks chart, and The Baby Sleep Site. I did not read the Wonder Weeks book, because if you accept that wonder weeks are a thing, you don't really need to know how the authors arrived at their theory, just when the weeks are. Every time DS cried all the time and wouldn't sleep and I wondered what I was doing wrong, I checked the chart, and if it happened to be a wonder week, I knew all bets were off and just let him sleep on me, and sure enough he was back to normal in a few days. Basically I just felt better knowing it was a wonder week.
As for The Baby Sleep Site, I pretty much followed everything on there like it was instructions. DS always woke a lot during the night and was a difficult napper, but I found the age appropriate techniques on that site worked as well as they could for us. DS could fall asleep on his own at night by 5 months, and by 8 months when he was weaned and could put his binkie back in his own mouth, he became a total champ sleeper who required no rocking. We never had to do cry it out, and now he's almost two and a half and he still just goes to bed like a pro. I'm totally doing this again for #2.
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Are NT scans standard practice or just recommended if you're AMA or have other risk factors? My old OB never offered it with my son. I have a consult with a new OB tomorrow and I'm wondering if I should ask about it since I'm coming up on 12 weeks.
[spoiler]
Me: 28 Him: 30
Married: 11/15/14
TTC: 02/2016
IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS
June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d
August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d
June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!
Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)
[/spoiler]
[spoiler]
Me: 28 Him: 30
Married: 11/15/14
TTC: 02/2016
IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS
June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d
August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d
June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!
Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)
[/spoiler]
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@becausescience I agree with the FTM board. I was wondering if we could start one since I've seen the STM check-ins.
[spoiler]
Me: 28 Him: 30
Married: 11/15/14
TTC: 02/2016
IF DX: MFI (low count & morphology) & mild PCOS
June 2016 BFP - MC @8w2d
August 2016 BFP - MC @6w1d
June 2017 - 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP 7/6/17!!
Beta #1 = 422 (14dpo), Beta #2 = 810, prog - 12.3 (16dpo), Beta #3 = 5023, prog - 18.9 (20dpo)
[/spoiler]
Hi guys, I'm sorry I haven't responded. I've been working nonstop, and have a miserable cold on top of it all.
Thanks @stephbrim24 @muggle621 and @hullabalou for the hair-dying question. I will probably try to wait until out of 1st tri, or close to it. We go on vacation the week of Sept. 9th, so I'd like one more round of highlights before the trip.
For those asking about sexy time, put me in the one time since BFP group. And that one time was because the hormones made like a teenager and I had to call DH to come help me out (this was an old FFFC).
Also, yes diphenhydramine (Benadryl) is ok, but for me it loses efficacy the more I take it. I had the worse next-day drowsiness with unisom, so I only take that for emergencies (like multiple nights with no sleep). They gave me ambien in the hospital the night before my induction with my first.