The Great Big Birthing Method Thread

Tennis11785

Since it's time for us to start signing up for birthing classes, I thought it might be helpful to start a big thread for all things birthing methods - Lamaze, Bradley, all the others out there.    

So use this space to ask questions and share your experience with different methods.  I know we already have a Hypobirthing thread (if you missed it and want to review here is the link - https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12711816/hypnobirth-yes-or-no-share-your-experience#latest), so things specific to that method can either go there or here.  And if we decide that another method warrants its own thread we can build one out.  

katiegeminimoon

@Tennis11785 Thanks for starting this! I'm excited to read everyone's responses! 

Tennis11785

@ktcakes - It's really a selfish post.  I have NO idea which method is right for me, and I'm really curious to hear other's experiences so I can help figure out what's best for me.  I'm terrified of pain and my current plan of putting my head under the sand and ignoring it probably won't be effective come December.... 

katiegeminimoon

@Tennis11785 Haha, no shame! I have started several threads for "selfish reasons" but they end up being useful for lots of ladies! I am hoping to have a natural birth, so I DEFINITELY need to look into some of the methods out there that hopefully ladies on here have experience with!

failuretofly

Okay I'll go first then!

With DS we didn't really do any 'classes' or structured birth prep. I just watched a lot of birth videos (there are some BEAUTIFUL ones out there!) and documentaries (Birth Story:Ina May Gaskin & The Farm Midwives, The Business of Being Born) and did a lot of research, mostly to quell my fears around birth. 

I am a very science and logic based person, so a lot of the typical birth education out there didn't really connect with me like 'visualize opening' etc.. because I had no real idea what that ACTUALLY meant. I felt more empowered when I learned more about the anatomy and physiology of birth and how to most effectively prepare my body physically for the event. I approached it like a marathon or a really high mountain climb, where you don't know how steep it will be or when you'll reach the top, but there is an end point. 

I personally thought pushing was the absolute hardest part, and I know a lot of women have the opposite experience, but I feel like I could have used some better coaching as to what I was actually supposed to do with my muscles. I think I was just overthinking the whole process, which lead me to tense up and hold baby in rather than relax and allow my body to do the work. I was so used to seeing birth in movies and on TV where you think a woman has to actively, consciously participate in pushing in order for the baby to come out, but in a normal, uncomplicated birth, that is rarely the case. 

My focus this time around will be around relaxation, keeping connected with my core muscles so that I know how to relax when needed. I am considering looking into hypobirthing as a way to accomplish this. I also think going to see a pelvic floor physio after DS will help me immensely because they helped me learn how to feel my pelvic floor muscles and made me realize I was probably holding them tight while pushing rather than letting them go, which is part of the reason I pushed for 3 hours! If you have no idea what your pelvic floor is, or how to know if you're contracting or relaxing it, I highly recommend going to a physio before birth. I even THOUGHT I was contracting and relaxing properly, only to learn that I was holding them tight continuously, which is not ideal!

katiegeminimoon

kvacmak said:
**snip**
 I approached it like a marathon or a really high mountain climb, where you don't know how steep it will be or when you'll reach the top, but there is an end point. 

I am a FTM who is wanting to go natural, I LOVE the way you worded that. It makes so much sense and will help me explain how I will get through it to people who think I am crazy for wanting to go natural.

anewadventure

i think my best advice is to educate yourself not only on the method you're *hoping* for and the birth you *envision*, but also to educate yourself at the very least on common medical practices that are used today. it's easy to think, oh i'll go med free or i will have an epidural or ___ fill in the blank. sometimes your baby or your labor doesn't cooperate and things don't go the way you'd prefer. if you are aware of the other "paths" if you will, it will be easier to handle things as they happen. it's also easier to advocate for yourself (or instruct someone on your birthing team of your wishes) if you know what they could bring up. get to know the stages of labor, the types of pain medication they offer and the typical timing windows of when you can and can't receive them, typical emergency interventions, etc...this is where those standard hospital birthing classes can come in handy, because they should cover the pain medications and cesarean sections at least briefly. even if you think those things aren't for you, knowledge is power. 

katiegeminimoon

@anewadventure That's great advice. I am hoping to go natural but leaving my options open to change my mind, so I will for sure be researching EVERYTHING that has a potential to happen.

Tennis11785

@anewadventure - I think that's part of what scares me about the Bradley method.  From what I've heard, it's so anti-intervention, I'm concerned I won't have the knowledge to really understand or the power to advocate for myself if I don't have that picture-perfect birth.  Or that if something goes wrong, I'll feel like a failure.  When in reality, the goal is getting that baby out in a way that is happy and healthy for both myself and the baby.  

So I guess that's my first question - those who have been through the Bradley method - is it really as anti-intervention as I've been lead to believe?  Did you do Bradley and then need some intervention (even just pain meds) and how did that play into the method and your birth experience/outlook?  

ab920

We did Bradley Method, which is husband-coached childbirth. Basically, a med-free birth where you use your husband instead of a doula. It was a wonderful experience (albeit painful) that brought us even closer as husband and wife. I was stuck in transition for 5 hours and if I didn't have my husband there, I would have opted for the epidural after 2 contractions at 8cm. 

Like I said in the other thread, the Bradley classes just regurgitate everything you read/tried in the book. If you read the book and follow it and try the suggestions, you've done everything you're going to do in the classes. 

I usually give the following advice: go in with an open mind. Things change constantly with labor and be emotionally/mentally prepared for anything. 

With going med-free, yes, it hurts. 

sjis

@anewadventure agree with this! Also don't show up with a 2-5 page birthing plan for the Dr or nurses. Keep it short and sweet.

cait5413

I just read some books and took a general childbirth class, but none of the methods. I was induced, starting with cervadil overnight (that sucks) and then pitocin. I think they started the pitocin at 6 or 7 am. At 2:30 pm, I asked for the epidural because the contractions were stacking on top of each other with no break in between even though they kept lowering my dose. When there was a break, it wasn't so bad because I knew it would only be so many seconds of pain and then I'd get a break. But then I wasn't getting a break! Also, I had stalled out and I had heard that for some women the epidural lets them relax and helps move things along. I didn't actually progress from there (stuck at 4 cm and Dr would not descend despite strong regular contractions) so I ended up with a c-section. As other have said, be aware of the things that might happen, even if it's not what you plan.

failuretofly

@anewadventure VERY good point! I ended up transferring to the hospital (originally attempted home birth) with the goal of using a vacuum, luckily I didn't need it, but I knew very little about surgical vaginal birth (forceps/vacuum) and now after doing my research, I would probably opt for a csection over those options! 

@ab920 personally, in my experience/opinion, I wouldn't define contractions as 'painful' per say... I don't how to describe them, more like intense, or all-consuming? Similar to the intense burn you get at the end of a really hard weight lifting set or at the end of a sprint? But more wave-like with a gradual build up and wind down. I honestly wouldn't say they 'hurt' but they were definitely hard!

ngarciabyu

We did just a standard birthing class that our hospital offered. I am TERRIFIED of pain, like I don't handle it well and hospitals and medical treatment give me major anxiety. I felt so out of place because most people there were really wanting to get the breathing down and go through things as natural as possible and I was just like, is there and option to knock me out? Or give me an epidural stat? Anyways when push came to shove (see what I did there?) I went to the hospital and got sent home because my labor wasn't active enough. I went back to the hospital the next morning (41w 1 d) and they were going to induce me but labor had picked up so they just tried breaking my water. Things accelerated so quickly there was no time to get an epidural and I delivered involuntarily pain-med-free. I mean I survived and all. But with baby #2 when I went to the hospital I was like "give me the mother effin shot in my back right now this second." And it was lovely . Moral of the story is I'm such a nut case about pain, child birthing classes were informative enough so I really understood what my body was doing at each stage, but the pain management portion of it I basically threw out the window. 

KathrynJ088

With #2 my epidural stopped working about 2 hours before she was born. They put a second dose directly into my IV (rather than the slow drip from a nearby hanging bag), and still did nothing. I ended up feeling everything, including the episiotomy (spelling?). 

This time I'm just going to take the genetic hospital class, mostly so I can learn more about csections and the recovery, etc. It's pretty up in the air of what my birth options will be with the twins still.
I've also looked into a local baby cpr and first aid class. I know this is my #3 & #4, but it's been a good 8 years since my youngest was a baby and I'm learning quick how things have changed!

moonlady-2

Is anyone going with a midwife? I'm curious what they would recommend. My appointment is not until next week otherwise I'd ask.

cait5413

@ngarciabyu
This is kind of the opposite of my experience--I wasn't against the epidural, I just wasn't sure I needed it and wanted to try med-free first. The nurses kept coming in and going, "Are you ok? Do you want the epidural yet? You're having some intense contractions. You must have a high pain tolerance. My patients usually have an epidural by now." Hahaha! DH wanted me to get one right away because he hated seeing me in pain. 

One other note on the epidural: mine was more effective on one side than the other. So, on one side, no pain, on the other, I could still feel the contractions, though it was less intense. When they decided we needed to do the CS, I freaked out a little, because I was worried they wouldn't fix the epidural correctly and I would feel half of the c-section! But they re-dosed me and I felt nothing (other than the huge shove under my rib cage to push DD down and out--she would not descend!).

failuretofly

@moonlady-2 I had a midwife with DS and am with (a different) one for this one too! 

pink flamingo

We also did a standard birthing class at my hospital. The nurse who taught the class ended up being great and I loved it. A couple things that really helped me through labor was really focusing on relaxing my whole body through a contraction and knowing that every contraction that went by was one step closer to meeting my little one and one less contraction till the end. 
             As for the birth itself my OB practice has midwives but it is done in the hospital. You only get a doctor if you have complications. I loved my midwife. She wasn't over bearing and really had faith in me that I could get through my med free birth. I felt like she was not pushy or making me feel rushed ( like if I don't get this baby out soon ther going to take it out ). 
             I was in labor for about 23 hours. My water partially broke early afternoon thanksgiving day while walking into my mothers house for dinner. I was trying to get to the bathroom but had about 15 people to meet between me and the bathroom ..... eventually while I was shaking the 5th persons hand I was like " nice to meet you but please excuse me I think my water just broke!". So you think when your water breaks there is a huge gush well apparently not all the time. Initially ther was a mild gush and then a slow trickle. I had to wear a pad. I thought initially my water broke and then was thinking maybe I'm just peeing myself because I don't have any pain. So for the next 4-5 hours I ate and went to the bathroom every 15 minutes until I called my OB and they recommended me to come into the hospital. 
           At the hospital they stuck a device in me and told me to cough catching the fluid I had been leaking and confirming my water had broken !! Yeah I'm in labor but had no pains. I was admitted and walked around and did squats for the next few hours wondering when it was going to really start. All of a sudden around 9 pm I think I started to have really bad gas pain and tried to poop lol. While doing this the nurse was like " do you think you might be having a contraction ". And I'm like I don't know I've never done this before. That was it ...... it was a contraction. For me it felt like gas pains that were stuck. Like when you can't burp or fart to release the pain. 
           I labored throughout the night. They asked if the could put an IV in but I refused at this point because I wanted to use the bathtub and walk/ move around. I did this all night back and forth to the bathtub. The tub really helped me relax during a contractions I feel like. I tried to just float during each one. Doing it in the tub actually helped me transfer that same feeling when i was not in the tub I felt like. About halfway though the night I requested to be checked and I was progressing good I felt like. 
         About 8 or 9 am I felt like I had to push and started to but had no success for many hours. Just after starting to push they requested to put an IV in with a lock just in case something happened . I agreed to it. I was not hooked up to anything at that point. After a couple of hours of pushing in all different ways my contractions started to feel less intense almost to nothing. So I was then hooked up to a pitocin drip. It worked practically immediately giving me very very strong contractions.  Shortly after I gave birth to me baby girl. I started shaking a lot after giving birth but don't know why. I think it's pretty normal though. Also they made me stand up and try to urinate pretty quickly after giving birth . 
           So I felt like my experience was pretty good and not to far off from what I had planned. I never took a specific birthing class and I made it through. The biggest thing was relaxation and making sure you kept breathing not in any specific pattern but just what felt comfortable for you. Sorry this was long and hoped it helped. 
             

oldersis

I think it's important to think about the "what if" scenarios just in case. The last thing you want is to end up needing a c section or something and then having your mother in law hold the baby first because you didn't think about saying you wanted only your significant other to hold the baby before you do (I know someone this happened to and she was really upset). If you think you want to go medfree, a midwife is great, particularly one who works with OBs. Mine was great for my 2 natural births, but a friend of mine who sees her had some complications during labor and it was a very smooth transition when she needed a c section. I used Hypnobabies for both. It really helped during early labor for my 1st. I was at home for 12 hours, went in and was at 4.5cm. Labored for 3.5 hours with a heplock. My midwife broke my water when I told her I could handle another hour or two but that was it, things immediately got SUPER intense and I asked for an epi. Nurse went to get the anesthesiologist, midwife checked me and yelled, "Get back here, she's ready to push." 20 minutes later, baby was out. My 2nd was a precipitous labor - 3 hours start to finish and none of it progressed the way labor is "supposed to". Hypnobabies was not helpful that time. I almost didn't make it to the hospital. I literally got in the room, hopped on the bed and pushed twice. I didn't even have time to get checked in. The nice thing about med-free was feeling normal right away. With my 2nd I was mad that they made me wait to go to the post partum room to shower because I was so ready to get up out of bed.

ab920

kvacmak said:
@ab920 personally, in my experience/opinion, I wouldn't define contractions as 'painful' per say... I don't how to describe them, more like intense, or all-consuming? Similar to the intense burn you get at the end of a really hard weight lifting set or at the end of a sprint? But more wave-like with a gradual build up and wind down. I honestly wouldn't say they 'hurt' but they were definitely hard!

Good for you, girl. I tell people it feels like a Charley horse in your abdomen.

My back was really what bothered me and what "hurt"--my doctor said that most people don't have such intense back labor, but I did due to my daughter's size, anterior placenta, and her position. Also, TMI but I wasn't prepared for feeling like I was on fire down there when she crowned or when I suffered a third-degree tear (I vetoed the episiotomy). 

Despite all of that, we are planning natural again so it couldn't have been that bad, right? 

splsmama2016

Ugh.... the app ate my response.... I'll fix it from the computer later. 

failuretofly

@ab920 Oh ya I've heard back labour is it's own beast! I was lucky DS was in the ideal position. A wave-like charlie horse totally describes contractions! 

blueskies17

Reviving this thread.. I am striving for an unmedicated birth so I've started to interview doulas. The doula I interviewed today recommended that we take a Bradley method course. I was surprised that she recommended a Bradley class since it focuses on spouse (not doula) coached labor. I am totally down for taking the class, but imagine that DH might balk at 8 weekly 3-hour long classes.

Is anyone else planning on hiring a doula/taking an extensive birthing course? 

Tennis11785

Thanks for reviving this, @blueskies17!  

I decided to go with lamaze for a couple of reasons.

• We did one 8-hour class opposed to the three 3-hour classes.  We got into a timing issue with my H's work, and so anything that required weekly classes was out of the question.  We needed something that gave us a one and done option. 
• While I'm hoping to go unmedicated and wanted a class that would give me the tools to do it, I also wanted to be educated about my options and not take a class that would result in me feeling like a failure if I ended up getting pain meds or if a medical intervention was necessary.  Lamaze focuses on pain med free, but does review the options and details in a way that isn't super scary or makes you feel like a terrible person if you end up using them.  

elcd458

We just signed up for a five-week class through our hospital.  I am actually not sure what methods or philosophies they will be reviewing, but will update after our first class in a few weeks! It's just called "Preparing for Childbirth" but I imagine it may be Lamaze-y since they ask we bring a mat and pillow with us. 

failuretofly

I just bought an online course because it was on sale from  $150 to $15! Plus it's by a lady who's YouTube tutorials I found really helpful with DS. It's by Bailey Gaddis, she just released a book called Feng Shui Mommy, though I haven't read it. I haven't gotten into the course yet but here's the video that turned me onto her:
https://youtu.be/-aR2rAN7zjA

blueskies17

@Tennis11785 Sound like Lamaze is a great choice for you! Have you taken the class already? How was it?

I'm concerned about the weekly classes as well because they're generally on the weekends and we may be out of town for a few of them. I've attended a couple of Lamaze focused hospital classes with my friend when she was pregnant and I got a good grasp of the alternatives that may arise. Whatever happens, I won't feel guilty if things don't go as planned and I end up with interventions. I just want to know that I did the best that I could to prepare and then accept what comes. 

@elcd458 Let us know how the classes go!

Tennis11785

@Blueskies17 - I have taken it already.  I thought it was really helpful in giving me the tools and the pros and cons of the different medicines and interventions were.  I know we took it super early, but it was what worked for our schedule.  Even though I haven't given birth yet, I'm pretty happy with my choice so far.  

shellac835

@blueskies17  My husband and I are in the middle of our 10 week Bradley course now.  He was not thrilled about spending so much time in birthing class so I understand your husband's hesitations    I've enjoyed the class though and think we've both gotten a lot out of it; one nice thing about a longer class like that is you have more time to adjust your ideas about labor together, and a lot more time to have conversations about the different class topics. My favorite part of the classes is the drive home sharing our opinions about different things. I do think the class gets a little preachy about why to avoid different interventions (I figure if you're in the class you've already decided to avoid them, so didn't feel I needed additional lectures about why.)  I think it's helped my husband understand my reasoning for going unmedicated, and we've definitely learned specific things to help cope with labor. I was initially unsure about the husband-coached part of it, but that really just means it's helping empower him (as well as you!) to get through the experience. Best of luck if you decide to take it!

blueskies17

@shellac835 thanks for the info on the Bradley classes! I agree it doesn't make sense for them to get preachy about interventions when you're there to learn how to avoid them. It's great that it opens up the conversation about going unmedicated.

I found out the schedule for the 8 week Bradley course and unfortunately we would miss at least 3-4 of them because of weddings and weekends out of town. This Bradley instructor also teaches an 8 hour weekend intensive class that is not an official Bradley class, but she will teach it with a similar, condensed approach. We are going with the intensive course- it's not ideal, but I'm hoping it will suffice since it's not our plan to have my husband coach 100% (maybe 50/50 with the doula?) Best of luck to you as well!

Maybe we can all compare notes after finishing our classes. @Tennis11785 @elcd458  

failuretofly

@blueskies17 comment reminded me...

Who all is hiring a doula? What made you bite the bullet and go for it? How did you find one? 

I'm seriously considering it but I am having a hard time rationalizing the cost.

lavashiner

@kvacmak I am hiring a doula for number two, since my experience was so great with one the first time. I can't imagine my labor with DD without her there. My husband is loving and supportive, but my doula knew exactly what kind of support I needed and when. I went unmedicated and she was a huge help in making that happen! My husband was also so thankful for her since it took some of the pressure off him.

blueskies17

@kvacmak I haven't officially hired a doula yet but I've been talking to one that I like and we will be interviewing her soon. My OBGYN's office recommended her. I also found a large parent group website in my area that has reviews for hospitals, ob's, doulas, etc. and she had a lot of great reviews. You can look for reviews/advice on local parent groups or search for doulas on the DONA website (www.dona.org).

My main reason for hiring a doula is that I feel it's my best chance at an unmedicated birth at a hospital. Ideally, I would like to give birth in a birthing center within a hospital, but as a FTM I want to "play it safe" as I have no idea what to expect (the NICU at my chosen hospital is better than the one at the hospital with a birthing center). My husband is very supportive but he's also a softie... and I can imagine him suggesting an epidural etc. if he saw me suffering. For us, I believe a doula will be the best person (aside from a midwife etc.) to recommend the best pain management techniques, etc. when the pressure is on. 

ETA: Sorry for the excessive use of etc.'s lol! 

cait5413

@blueskies17 my DH wanted me to get the epidural ASAP because he hated seeing me in pain! (but I still went without it for quite a while) He's excited we're having a repeat c/s this time so he doesn't have to watch me suffer through contractions again. 

blueskies17

@cait5413 sounds like my husband! He is also very squeamish in general so I'm a bit worried for him!

kyrwyn

@kvacmak We're pretty sure we're hiring a doula. There's a service that coordinates with our hospital, and our OB is fairly positive about that group and politely negative about outside doulas so we'll probably pick from the pool affiliated with the hospital.  Our hospital charges $900 and none of it's covered by insurance, but DH really doesn't like conflict so advocating for himself (or me) would be so uncomfortable for him in a chaotic environment.  I don't want to put that stress on him... or our relationship.  And nobody wants my mom, step mom or either MIL in the room -- our medical staff just doesn't know it yet -- so a doula seems like the best option to me.

wabash15

@kvacmak I am hiring a doula. We had a c-section last time and this time I am trying for a V-bac. I would like to go unmedicated if possible. DH is a worrier and this will be a whole new experience. I wanted a doula to be a support for both of us. To help reassure him what is happening is normal, to help guide him in ways to comfort me. So this is as much for him as it is for me.
@blueskies17 with the twins I took a hypnobirthing class, and will review the materials again this time. The doula does not replace the class. the doula is just there to help support you  and your SO in your choices. I think taking a class is helpful so that you have some ideas and skills going into labor and the doula helps support you. A Doula does not replace your partner but helps you both so the Bradley method would work well still. 

lavashiner

For those of you considering a doula, they are covered by FSA or HSA funds if you have them! You just need a note from your doctor. Pre-tax doula!!!!

pink flamingo

@kvacmak  I just watched your video and really enjoyed it. I went to a class at my hospital and the nurse runnning it really focused on relaxing during a contraction or surg. This is how I got through my first birth. I tried explaining this above in my response. Relaxation is the key ! 

failuretofly

Reviving this thread now that we are all actually on the verge of going into labor! Anyone changed their mind about their plans? Completely their classes and liked what they learned? Any great plans?