Questions for STMs 6/28 - Page 5 — The Bump
January 2018 Moms

Questions for STMs 6/28

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Re: Questions for STMs 6/28

  • @TInman87 words can't express how much I can relate to your comments! This week I cried a few times with DH just because I can see things will never be quite the same. Yes, I'm excited for the new chapter, but I love our relationship. I want this baby more than words can express. I also want to see him as a dad. But I also want to be me and us still. It isn't about these particular moments but just about the change in general. He is so positive- I tell him and he says that things will only get better and that we will still be us, but I see stressed couples grow apart and know I can easily get caught up in the pressures. I feel like I've made a decision that could somehow threaten or change the best part of my life. I'm trying to just accept these feelings as okay or normal (at least for some of us) but I also feel a little guilty that I'm feeling this way, especially as a PGAL and with a friend struggling with IF. So complicated.

    Its reassuring to hear from so many of you that the change is real but amazing.  <3
  • @libbberty thank you for this! Turns out the best thing I did to feel at ease about these feelings was talking to my mom.I called her a few mornings ago and told her about my crying spells. She "reassured" me that it will only get worse, but that it's normal and I will love my child.  I was my parents' first (and only for medical reasons) and she said that she cried for these reasons constantly. Then after I was born she cried because she didn't feel like she was as happy as everyone thought she should be. Her greatest piece of advice was telling me that tv and even friends sometimes make pregnancy out to be such a joyous and happy time, and while as a whole, it is, it is also the saddest time as well while you try to deal with so many changes all at once and still try to juggle perceived expectations.
    libbberty
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  • @TInman87 chiming in to say I can relate too. I felt this way with DS. I wanted him so badly but then worried about how my relationship with DH would change as well. I also couldn't figure out why I wasn't super in love with DS when he was first born. The connection was not instant for me and I felt guilty about that. We were strangers. Getting acclimated to all the changes is totally normal and definitely ok to feel those emotions as routines change. You will find common ground and yourself again. A slightly different self, as becoming a mother brings out a whole new sense of toughness and "can-do" willpower. It's pretty cool really.
    Your DH may take his own time to adjust to changes as well. That's totally normal.
    missblazeKatieEl
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