Questions for STMs 6/28 - Page 4 — The Bump
January 2018 Moms

Questions for STMs 6/28

124

Re: Questions for STMs 6/28

  • schazeschaze
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    @TInman87 I still have moments where I miss when DH and I could go or do whatever we wanted, but the change is amazing. Like others have said, you'll find your new normal and still be able to spend time together after baby is down for the night.
    KatieEl
  • Thank you ladies. It's less about movies and pizza and more about...just change I guess. We have been married for 4 years and were not actively trying (but not preventing) so it came as a pleasant surprise. The new normal will be nice, thank you for all of your support!
    libbberty
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  • I have a question. I'm struggling with gagging, like when i take my pills or brush my teeth or floss. The nausea is basically gone, or at least manageable now, but the gagging is getting worse. Am i going to be continuing to struggle with the gagging through the whole pregnancy, or does it go away at some point? Thanks in advance!
  • @sjb2215 since you offered: DS2 (late Jan 2016 baby, just over 17 months) still isn't walking.  He's been pulling up to standing and cruising on furniture since before he turned one.  He's stood up unassisted, but only a few times and though appears sturdy on his feet it's like he realizes he's not holding on to anything and plops back down when he realizes it.  He's an insanely fast crawler (as in literally everybody comments on it, I wish I'd entered him in some sort of tuition race lol) and climbs everything (tables, trees, our fence).  Still, not walking.  When do I start needing to be concerned?
    Jan '18 December Signature Challenge: Christmas Movies

    Pregnancy Ticker

    DS1: Nov 2013
    DS2: Jan 2016
    DS3 is on the way!
    sjb2215
  • Thanks everyone for your replies! It definitely made me feel loads better. I should've also added that he talks non stop, but we can't understand what he says. When he talks its like his tongue rolls. At least that's what my husband and I are noticing now that we are aware that their may be a slight delay. Should everything go ok with his Ear, nose, and throat doctor, I'll definitely have him evaluated and go from there. 

    Dani0329 Thank you so much! I would appreciate any help or information that you have to offer. It seems silly, I guess, but I never really worry much over milestones apart from any obvious red flags or concerns. I always felt like when he was ready, he would do it. We encourage him, of course, but never felt pressure from all of the baby books about what he should be doing by a certain age, as long as he does attempt or later does it. I think I'm mostly feeling a little guilt for not being more aware of this sooner. He is an incredibly smart child and I want him to soar at everything he does. It is definitely heartbreaking when you see friends who have children the same age that can talk and you're wondering when you will hear the words, "I love you, mama". 
    KatieEl
  • @gilsam1 my gagging got better around 16 weeks.  I had it with my other two and everything sets me off.  One lady on here suggested a baby tooth brush that helps, so does non flavored tooth paste.  
    image
    gilsam1
  • @Lizbeth86
    I have evaluated as early as 11 months, but I say trust your Mama gut.  If my child was ~18 months without any words, I'd ask for a referral for an evaluation. If you are concerned, go ahead and have her evaluated, if her skills are developmentally appropriate I just tell parents to come back in 6 months if there are still concerns.

    In the mean time, if she has had several ear infections maybe ask for an ENT referral this impacts speech acquisition a ton!

    Work on environmental sounds and animal sounds to start! Kids use a certain play pattern before they start talking and they also start these sounds before words typically (uh oh, yay, wee, woah, wow, yuck, and animals).

    All this said, children develop at different rates, that's why I always take a lot of weight into parent report and opinion!

     
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lizbeth86
  • @Ready4theParty Thank you! That gives me hope it won't be for the whole 9 months :smile:
    Ready4theParty
  • Ok I have a question. This may sound strange but I am struggling with this.

    STMs how have you made mom friends?

    I have taken DD to story time at the library, tried swim class and various other activities. All the "mommy groups" around me are so exclusive. Like baby born in 2014 only or military family only. I am lost on how to make friends for my dauggter.
    Lizbeth86gilsam1Ready4theParty
  • KatieElKatieEl
    1000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited July 2017
    @burnsmommy27 for me the biggest thing is consistency. I literally attended a bimonthly art class with DS1 from September to February seeing the same moms before we finally took our friendship out of the class. At first it was play dates for our kids only, but now these women are some of my best friends: going on vacations together, hanging with out without our kids, etc. but it took a while. And a lot of this I credit to my one friend who started a secret Facebook group and when she reaches out to new moms she tells them she runs a playgroup (she does do the work of actually planning a monthly activity, not at her house necessarily, but like we'll all meet at X park and have a picnic lunch. Posting the calendar three months at a time). She said having this legitimate reason to reach out to moms gave her the confidence to initiate that first convo. Good luck!

    ETA how old is DD? because before DS1 turned 15 months or so I found t really hard Bc we were all wedded to slightly different schedules (this did not hold true once we all started having subsequent children lol)
    Jan '18 December Signature Challenge: Christmas Movies

    Pregnancy Ticker

    DS1: Nov 2013
    DS2: Jan 2016
    DS3 is on the way!
  • BelhurstBrideBelhurstBride
    Long-Lasting Membership 10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2017
    @burnsmommy27, I didn't really make mom friends until DD1 started school. Now they're some of my closest friends in the world. Like, we're probably going to ask the one to be this baby's godmother. 

    @TInman87, I still go through that with this pregnancy, and this pregnancy is occurring after a second tri loss and after five months of trying. The girls get along so well and I worry we're going to fvck that all up by adding another into the mix. You're not alone. 

    @PhillymommaX2, DD2 measured a week ahead at her NT scan, as well. We weren't trying and I couldn't even remember my LMP, so my OB went with it. Homegirl came two weeks late. Remember, the later the u/s the more off they can be, measurement wise. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
    PhillymommaX2gilsam1
  • @KatieEl DD is 12 months old. My mom and DH keep telling me that I'm just going to have to wait until she has her own interests and she chooses activities. I guess I just find this age very isolating.

    @BelhurstBride what did you do with DD1 before she started school. My DD loves other kids but I just can't seem to find a place for her to interact with other kids.
    gilsam1
  • Questions for STMs: 

    Ugh. Turns out the Panorama NIPT test had no results. I had the blood drawn on June 24th at 1So I had to go back to the lab this morning and get more blood drawn. Doctor - in case NIPT test comes with no results again - has scheduled an NT ultrasound for me, SIPS blood screen, and put in a referral for a genetic counsel session. We just wanted to do one simple test - know what I mean? - that was talked up by our doctor. I also had to put down $800 for it now I’m curious if I can get my money back if it’s inconclusive again. 

    Now I'm just nervous, confused, and worried - more than usual. 

    Has this happened to anyone else? 

    First timer! 
    BFP: May 6, 2017 EDD: Jan. 13, 2018
  • @ollydolly I do not have any personal experience, but your experience is one reason I chose to not go with the Panorama test.  It is a lot of money, even if your insurance covers it, because you have to cover your deductible first, but then when I read that there isn't always enough fetal DNA found to be conclusive I just went with the NT ultrasound and blood screening.  I second guess my choice almost every day, but with my testing coming up tomorrow I hope I will feel better when it is past me.  I will keep my fingers crossed for a positive outcome for you!
  • egirl1025...it's hard to know what the right way to go is, which is why I listen to doctors. I wish I had known that sometimes there isn't enough fetal dna. Now we will be doing all the tests. Ha. Good luck tomorrow! 
    First timer! 
    BFP: May 6, 2017 EDD: Jan. 13, 2018
  • @burnsmommy27 I totally understand, that age is really isolating. I started art classes with DS1 when he was about 9 months and it took a while of consistency to feel like I was getting anywhere. In terms of places to take her: local museums often run programs for kids (I've had awesome luck with museums and botanic gardens, places you wouldn't necessarily think of as for kids), library story hours, gymnastics typically has classes for really young kids, local kid oriented places often run special times for under twos, so even if you think she's not old enough for something, you might be surprised if you check their website. 
    Jan '18 December Signature Challenge: Christmas Movies

    Pregnancy Ticker

    DS1: Nov 2013
    DS2: Jan 2016
    DS3 is on the way!
  • Thanks @KatieEl I'll have to do more digging on the interent. 
    KatieEl
  • @burnsmommy27, library, swim lessons, gymnastics, we belonged to the museum of play and local zoo. I also babysat a little boy about a year younger than she, so she constantly had a playmate. That little boy is still one of her closest friends, and his parents some of our closest friends. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • That's nice that she had a built in playmate @BelhurstBride. Thanks for the ideas. I'll check into them around here
  • @Dani0329 lol yep. You nailed it.
    Dani0329
  • @TInman87 Not alone at all! My son is old enough that he can go play outside alone, and my husband and I have half the week to ourselves. Knowing that we're giving up the quiet time we have together is hard. 

    Like, I'm excited. But frank discussions took place about how we would be losing something for a short while, and it was a serious consideration. (Obviously, we decided to go ahead with having a child.)
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Quick Facts:
    - feminist killjoy, anxious af, swears a lot, prone to rants
    - is a writer, but makes her actual money in IT
    - divorced, later remarried, has an 8-year-old son
  • schazeschaze
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    @burnsmommy27 I really struggle with making friends. There was one mom with a daughter a month older than DD, but they moved last fall and it's been hard for me to meet new people. I need to be better about taking her to library story time or something and chatting with the other moms, but I feel like every time we go out it ends in disaster. I rarely take her on errands by myself either because she's such a handful. You're definitely not alone!
  • vjraabvjraab
    100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    Mommies, help me out please!!! DD is 16 months. She's incredibly independent and strong willed. She won't eat anything unless she feeds herself. She can't use a spoon or fork yet. The food falls to the floor. She will use her hands on finger foods. When I try to spoon feed her, she screams and shakes her head from side to side. She will starve if she only feeds herself. 

    What do I do?
    Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help her use a spoon and fork better?
    When will this stage pass? Meal time is horrible right now!
    agalvarado
  • @KatieEl sent you a direct message :)
    KatieEl
  • @vjraab I'm on the same boat as you, my DD is 17 months and she's been feeding herself finger foods since we started solids. She won't eat anything I shove in her mouth and she doesn't want to use forks or spoons. I need help too!!
  • @burnsmommy27 I moved to a GA back in august and didn't know anyone here! I joined MOMS club, it's international and there's local chapters everywhere. It was such a great decision because my daughter goes to playgroups and field trips and meets other kids and I've meet some amazing moms as well. In our chapter, you can participate as much or as little as you want! I suggest looking into your local chapter or maybe something similar!
  • @schaze thanks for the solidarity. Like I said before it's so isolating sometimes. And I think we probably have a year before the DDs will be able to play with the new LO.

    @agalvarado that sounds like a great idea. I'll have to look to see if there is one here. I only work 3 days a week so maybe having an activity on one of the other days will help
    agalvarado
  • @burnsmommy27 does your area/school district have a parents as teachers program? I don't live in a fancy part of town but our early education program is great. They offer weekly play groups for babies 4months to school age. They also put on a lot of fun activities for kids. It's free in our town and I try to utilize every opportunity. 

    @vjraab I feel for you. We have had many unhappy meal times for various reasons. Just stay consistent with her and it will just be a phase. In the meantime fruit pouches are great, string cheese, green beans, noodles, diced up chicken nuggets are all foods that my kids had luck feeding themselves. And it's true, if they are hungry, they will eat any way you let them, at least in our experience. 
  • @trudytudy I've never heard of that before. I'll check. I am all about free stuff too, kids are expensive 
    trudytudy
  • @burnsmommy27 I feel you! I struggle with making friends with other moms. I used to take my daughter to a weekly gym class but I never know how to break the surface and go beyond small talk. 

    @KatieEl I really like the idea of the Facebook group. I think it would make things light to just say "hey check this out, no pressure" I might try it!
    KatieEl
  • @vjraab kids will eat when they are hungry.  We have our 4 yo on a 3 meals a day plan because of it were up to her she'd eat once every three days.  So no snacks and she can only have milk or water.  She knows the rules, but she's four and we've struggled to get her to gain weight.  She s been hoovering at the 30 lbs for over a year.  Our pediatrician is ok with her skipping a meal if she doesn't want to eat because then she usually eats more the next meal. 

    @burnsmommy27 DD1 is almost in preschool and I am hopeful once she starts school I will make more friends.  We moved to the area shortly before she was born and it's so exclusive to those who have lived here since they were kids it's hard to make friends.  I am a bit of an introvert so it makes it harder, but I am ok with keeping up with the friends I have.
    image
  • @Lizbeth86 I found this really great article today about speech and language. My 18 month old DS doesn't say a ton of words, but he babbles incessantly and has started to use different voice inflections with his babbles. He also has a few signs that he uses so I count those as words. I really like this article because it looks at speech in relation to how their language skills are developing which is really the most important thing. The speech will come eventually, and yes early intervention is very helpful for so many kids (we may have to do some for DS). This article puts some of it in perspective and puts my mind at ease as his language seems to be developing very well, even though the speech part seems to be coming more slowly than I would like.

    http://ilslearningcorner.com/2015-07-signs-and-symptoms-of-struggling-child-with-receptive-and-expressive-language/
    Lizbeth86
  • mindaamindaa
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    @burnsmommy27, thanks for starting that discussion. That's been a huge struggle for me too. I'm especially insecure being a good 10+ years older than all the mom's I meet. The best group I found was stroller strides, but unfortunately the scheduling and payment plans were challenging for me so I had to drop it. 
     But ds just turned 2 and is getting super social so I'm psyching myself up for the fact that I'm​ just going to have to be agressive, lol!

    @vjraab, it's so hard not to stress about eating. Ds is a terrible eater and has gone for weeks at a time eating not much more than Cheerios. One way we've been able to sneak in calories and nutrition is with smoothies. You can add anything from peanut butter to spinach. I would also say, try to relax and give her lots of finger food that she can eat herself.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    Lizbeth86
  • @burnsmommy27 I'm in the same boat and feel pretty isolated. I work full time and my DH is home with the baby a lot, and I know he feels isolated too. At this point I just wish we had adults to hang out with who don't mind having dinner at 5:00 at our house or theirs, or doing anything that involves bringing kids along.
    Like @mindaa I'm an older mom and my siblings' kids are old enough that they can do more exciting activities, and believe it or not most of my friends are still single. I love my single friends but most of their invites are for me to "get away" and go to a concert or something, which is just not what I want to do after working full time all week. I'd like to spend time with LO, I'd just like to have other adults to socialize with at the same time!
  • Thanks for all the support ladies. I'm glad to know that it is pretty normal to feel like this. Plus you all gave me some great ideas.
    Kezzy44
  • vjraabvjraab
    100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    Thank you mommas for the tips! This too shall pass...eventually. 
  • @BelhurstBride This exactly. We did the EXACT same thing with our DS since he was 6 months old. He's going to be 2 in August. Tonight I offered him chicken, rice, and vegetables for dinner. As soon as I took it out of the microwave he said "don't want it". I had a long day at work, I was in no mood to fight, so I asked him what he wanted. He said strawberries...so for dinner he had strawberries, pineapples, and 2 packs of fruit snacks. Eh well...he ate. 

    I also think we have some more stuff in common but the only thing that comes to mind is that my DH is also a PT so no bumbo in our house. We also didn't do walkers or any other forced position item. ☺️

    sjb2215BelhurstBride
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