Questions for STMs 6/28 - Page 2 — The Bump
January 2018 Moms

Questions for STMs 6/28


Re: Questions for STMs 6/28

  • @schaze I swear I felt DD1 at 16 weeks and DD2 at 14.  I've felt flutters a couple times at 10 weeks but I know better, and if this one takes after it's sisters I'll be happy to not have it move for a few more weeks.  At about 34 weeks with DD2 she was moving all the time and walking or changing position never helped.
  • schazeschaze member
    Thanks for the responses! I could swear I felt some flutters the other day, but I'm pretty sure they were just phantom ones. DD was a huge mover so it'll be interesting to see if this one is different!
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  • @aimsforyou2014, prayer to you. 

    @schaze, my OB insists that no one is feeling anything until the skeletal system starts to develop, that the pile of jelly just isn't strong enough and the uterus isn't receptive enough for there to be anything there to feel. 

    I've personally not been certain of any movement until later in the teen weeks. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Might be a silly question but do boy bumps really look different from girl bumps? 
  • @koennia1217, I honestly can't see how they could. 

    We were Team Green with both of our daughters. People swore I was carrying differently with DD2 and that she had to be a boy. 

    Turns out, I just carried differently. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @koennia1217 I think it's just one of those old wives tales... everyone carries babies differently and like @BelhurstBride said, each pregnancy is different (even multiple pregnancies with the same mama). 

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  • @koennia1217 I could only notice a difference in my stomach at the end. My first was a boy. He was 9lbs 6oz. My second a girl and she was right under 8 lbs. I was bigger with my son and much more squished. As for high or low, I don't recall noticing a difference. My girl was maybe lower, likely due to being smaller and second baby. 
  • Interesting! I've always heard girls climb up into your rib cage(which sounds excruciating) and boys sit right on your hips. Glad to know this is more myth than fact. 
  • Any advice on stretch mark prevention? Which potions did you find most effective????
  • @koennia1217 I used Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter for my last pregnancy and had no stretch marks (and I gained over 50lbs). I'm using it again!

    I use Hypnobabies!

    J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!

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    EDD: 1/6/2018
    Eva Jane: 7/23/2014

  • @koennia1217 I also used Burt's Bees but wasn't spared from the stretch marks, unfortunately. Though they did fade a LOT. I'll use it again this time around. Mine didn't pop up until around 30 weeks, but I'll start using it again around halfway through.

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  • @koennia1217, stretch marks are heredity. Staying hydrated and keeping your skin hydrated can help minimize their appearance, but there's nothing you can do to prevent them. 

    :knocks on wood: I haven't gotten any on my belly during my pregnancy, but forget it on my thighs. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @koennia1217 I used alllll the things and I still ended up with stretch marks. My mom got bad stretch marks so I figured I'd get them anyway. They still look bad, and my stretch marks stretched so much that they started breaking skin. This pregnancy stuff is fun.

    J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Yea I already have stretch marks from growth spurts as a teenager so I just know I'm going to get more. Sad face. But I'll definitely try the burts bees and maybe bio oil. Maybe I'll find a voodoo doctor or Snow Whites step mother. 
  • @aimsforyou2014 you've gotten a lot of solid advice, I hope it is a false positive and this worry becomes a distant memory. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs ❤
  • I second burts bees!!
  • @koennia1217. I carried both my girls low.  As they got bigger they were up in my ribs and down on my hips, sometimes at the same time!  With DD2 she was lower and sat on my hips most of the time and so I visited the chiropractor a lot which was a life saver.

    Stretch marks are what they are.  The three I got with DD1 came back with Dd2 and I added a few more with Dd2.  Motherhood sells a body lotion I love.  I agree that drinking a lot of water if you can will help with stretch mark and that they can be genetic.  Mine went away within 6 MO to a year.
  • @koennia1217 so much of what you hear is just that- an old wives tale. It depends on you and your baby. My daughter sat diagonally most of the time, jabbing me under my ribs on the right and my hips on my left. I also had very little morning sickness (sign of a boy) but heartburn All The Time (sign of tons of hair) but delivered a big, bald baby girl
  • @Eags Thank you so much! Thats awesome!!! 

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  • @koennia1217 I'm late to this party, but yeah, what everyone has already said about staying hydrated and knowing that it's more about your genes than anything else. 

    Honestly, my whole body is stretch marks. I've had them on my arms since I was a young teen. All over my thighs and calves. I've got perpendicular stretch marks on my stomach that go different directions: some form the weight I used to be, some of pregnancy. At some point I just stopped caring. 

  • @koennia1217 I LOVE Mama Mio EVERYTHING but their tummy butter is amazing. I did not get any stretch marks with DD and used it religiously, but as others noted that is probably partly because of other factors (gaining weight slowly/genetics). I'm definitely using it again this time though. It smells AMAZING and feels luxurious. It's pricey, but I bought it twice during pregnancy, used it daily after ~18 weeks and had some left over!

    DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015

    DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017

    BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019

    BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020 

  • I swear by my stretch marks prevention concoction. I religiously put it on every day after my shower and usually right before bed as well. I gained a ton of weight and got no stretch marks, but I totally didn't think of putting it on my boobs and they got stretch marks! I'm having preggo brain right now and forget the first cream that I put on, but it was super sticky and thick. Then I put on some Burt's Bees lotion on top and it made everything less sticky and smell nice. If I can remember what that first ingredient was I will report back lol. 
  • I used burt's bees last time and didn't have any stretch marks until I hit 35 weeks and it was all downhill from there lol. I just ordered some more burt's bees and bio oil, hoping the bio oil on top of burt's bees helps. My stretch marks had faded quite a bit but getting pregnant 10 months postpartum they are resurfacing a bit and my belly button hadn't gone back to normal yet and it looks so weird. Oh well. The things we go through for these sweet babies! 
  • schazeschaze member
    @sbishop426 I love that. DH thinks mine are beautiful too but I think he's crazy. I have so many I'll probably never wear a bikini again.
  • Here's a question-- how do I figure out what I need for a gift registry? We have no baby stuff yet, and since we're having twins, we decided to let my mom throw a shower. So we're looking at having the shower near the end of 2nd tri, and we'll want to send invites out a month ahead of time. Which means we have to figure out what we need. There are a lot of articles... on websites sponsored by companies that sell stuff. Nothing wrong with capitalism, but I want to shop smart. How do I find a decent list? Also, an answer to where baby is... I've learned how to tell exactly where my uterus is, at least. After orgasm, it sort of lightly spasms/buzzes/squeezes tight for a few minutes. It is very clear where it is-- the growing lump below my belly button. I'm at 13 weeks, and I've felt a few flutters, like butterfly wings inside me. But I don't yet feel where the babies are inside the uterus. On ultrasound, one is closer to my cervix, and the other is on top, and they stay in that general configuration, but are each swimming and flipping in their little spaces.
    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

  • BelhurstBrideBelhurstBride member
    edited July 2017
    @klake42, so much of the baby stuff is personal preference, some of that preference is yours, some of it is going to be baby's

    Car seats: Britax and Chicco seem to be the two brands people look at for bucket seats. I had a Chicco for DD1 that got handed down for DD2, probably going to be borrowing a hand me down Britax from my BFF for this one. No matter what you choose you're going to be looking to replace it within the first year for a convertible, and most likely because baby got too tall, not too heavy. (DD2 still hasn't hit the weight limit on the Chicco we had, but she was too tall by 9mo.)

    Cribs: had an expensive, can convert to a toddler bed then full sized bed one for DD1. Had a super cheap one for DD2 (because it matched the look I was going for for her nursery). Kinda liked DD2's more. Expensive =/= better. Go with what matches your style, not what you think you might use it for in five years- chances are you'll change your mind by then. 

    Strollers: I prefer side by side to front to back; I find them easier to maneuver. We have a jogger that was our go to- we literally wore the tires bald. It was just more comfortable for everyone. We also have a Maclaren Twin Triumph we used for traveling or if space in the car was an issue. It collapses to a fraction of the size of the jogger. It's comfortable enough- especially when DD1 was younger. 

    -the Rock n Play was new to the market when I had DD2. In our house it replaced any need for a pack n play or swing. (The PnP only got used for traveling.) It collapses easy and is easy to move and bring where ever we might need it. 
    -My babies both slept in an arms reach co sleeper attached to my bed until they were ready to move to their own room. 
    -no bumbos in this house; DH is a PT. 
    -we used the chicco360 clip on high chair and loved it
    -activity centers: we had one that was an activity center and jumperoo all in one so we didn't have to have multiple things out. The flat playmat things? Pick one, they're all about the same. I preferred something that was easy to fold up and put away at the end of the day.
    -burp cloths, use pre fold diapers. And you're going to need way more than you ever think you'd need.

    I'm a SAHM who EBFed until the girls self weaned. We used Baby Led Weaning as our method of introducing solids and waited for developmental cues to help us determine when they were ready. So basically we didn't have a ton of stuff for feeding baby. Plastic bibs and lots of washcloths.  
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @BelhurstBride curious: what's bad about the Bumbo, that your husband nixes it? I've never had one, as I tend to go very minimalist with baby stuff*, but I'd seen few being sold secondhand and considered it.

    (* They outgrow and drool on everything -- I see no reason to spend a lot of money on anything that isn't essential to their health and safety. I've been buying secondhand items since the month I found out I was pregnant, just watching for when stuff I want gets down to a price I can afford. So far my biggest win was a nice baby swing a local store had marked down to $20.)

  • schazeschaze member
    @scatteringashes just my answer to the Bumbo question, I've heard the forced seats can affect their hips.

    @KLake42 like mentioned above, a lot of it's going to be dependent on your preferences. I used a checklist similar to this and did research on various brands and things before going in to register.

    The most helpful things we registered for were about a week's worth of washcloths and towels, swaddle blankets, a TON of burp cloths, and a white noise machine. We didn't register for and never used bottle warmers, special diaper trash can, wipe warmer or any clothes. We did decide to buy the big things ourselves (crib, car seat, stroller, play gym etc.) just because I didn't have a whole lot of people coming to my shower.
  • @KLake42 I had multi mommy friends of mine comb through the registry list for me. They told me what I really don't need (there is a ton you don't need). It's helpful the have the first hand knowledge of what worked for them.

    I still ended up with stuff I never used. And a lot of stuff you end up not having. I would recommend getting an Amazon Prime account. It made it so much easier to order more of XYZ and have it the same day or next day.
  • @scatteringashes, hip issues. Same problem with cheap carriers and any other baby item that forces them into a position before they're actually ready. You won't find us propping baby in a sitting position before baby can sit themselves. 

    As I'm cleaning out closets I had more thoughts. I'm also pretty minimalist, I assume that comes through in my opinion on what you need. So much of it serves a purpose for such a short period of time, seems like such a waste to me. 

    I never splurged on the good Aden and Anais swaddling blankets with DD1 but did with DD2. Totally worth it. DD2 actually still sleeps with them nightly. 

    Get a small tupperware or something to start storing the little baby keepsakes from day 1. Otherwise, almost four years later, you might find your kids footprints tossed in the back of a drawer, not even filled out. Also found her babybook; wrapper still on it. Poor second kid. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Question about car seats: 
    With DS we had a $200 carrier that clicked into the car or a stroller and it was great and super convenient, but DS had just about outgrown it by 5 months old and we needed to switch to a convertible car seat. We went with one that converts from infant all the way to 5 or 6 years old for another $200. I'm obsessed with the convertible one we got (Graco 4ever All-in-One Convertible Car Seat). Now I'm trying to decide if I should skip the carrier and just start baby #2 off with the convertible seat and save $200 down the road. DH is adamant that this is the right way to go this time. And we don't really go out a whole lot so needing the carrier to hold the baby while we are at restaurants or places isn't gonna be a huge issue. My question is, has anyone started an newborn off with a convertible seat??
  • crizz13crizz13 member
    edited July 2017
    @KLake42 and really anyone, I have a HUGE plug for Lucie's List. Seriously. Sign up online and she gives the BEST registry advice....and you also sporadically get articles totally appropriate for where you are in pregnancy and beyond. Seriously, there were times with DD that I would be thinking about something (for example starting solids) and the next day I would get an email. It's all based off your EDD/Baby's birthday. She doesn't spam you with stuff either. 


    here's her "cheat sheet" if you don't want to read all the articles

    ETA - Keep receipts! I would also not go overboard with nursing or bottle stuff. Some babies are very might have a hard time breastfeeding or you might have a baby (like mine) who refused about 10 different kinds of bottles and wouldn't do a pacifier at all. I also had a child who HATED any sort of rocker, bouncer, etc. but some babies love them. 

    Also a couple of favorites in no particular order:
    • Frog Chair - a great alternative to a Bumbo
    • Boppy Lounger
    • Nose Frida - looks disgusting but is an absolute MUST
    • Majama nursing bras
    • Tula baby carrier - I'm excited to try their free to grow!
    • Indestructibles books 
    • Tiny Beans app - I'm not a huge social media person and this was and is a great app that we have invited just our family to view so they can get their fill of baby pictures without me feeling like my kid is all over the internet

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  • @KLake42 I agree that the registry is fairly personal and everyone has different things they couldn't live/things they think are a waste. @BelhurstBride gave some really good recommendations. I'm also sort of a minimalist. There are so many many things on the market you do NOT need and it seems like most if them are geared towards the first 6 months, which of course, go by in a flash. I say keep it simple! 
    That being said, here are the things we loved:

    -Baby carrier: I'm a huge fan of baby wearing. Do a little research and see the amazing benefits to mom and baby! I loved my baby carrier. I used it from day 1 and still use it when we go places like the zoo, etc.

    - Rock-n-play These are awesome! They had *just* came out when my son was born. I used as a cradle beside our bed. DS loved it! We had one without any bells or whistles and it worked great. Very easy to travel with.

    - Pack-n-play: This is nice for when baby outgrow R-n-P. Our kids have used them until age 3 probably.

    - Baby swing. This is personal. My SILs both loved their bouncy seat. I had both and recently sold the bouncy seat bc DS didn't love it and we rarely used it. However, he loved the baby swing and we used it a lot! 

    - Stroller: We have a Bob double stroller and could not love it more! It's side-by-side but I have never came to a doorway it did not fit through. Super pricey tho! We had some people at our shower give us cash and my Gma helped out a lot too for it.

    - Swaddle blankets. DS loved to be swaddled. I used Aden and Anais ones and also ended up purchasing the ones that are like a little sack and then velcro. There are several kinds. I'm referring to the ones that keep their feet pretty tight, not the loose ones. 

    - Things we didn't love or use: ExerSaucer (MIL got me one and soon after DS started walking. They are huge and again, you only use for a short time), diaper gene (if you EBF they really don't smell that bad and once they eat solids they aren't pooping as often so it's easy to take to an outside garbage can), playmat, boppy pillow (I thought it made BFing harder - my opinion). Also, I never had a high chair. We used the portable booster seat with removable trays. When we were going to a function, we'd bring the booster with us and put it back on a folding chair when we got home. 

    On a lot of baby stuff, you really don't know what you'll like or use until you try it. Aren't you having twins? This will be especially true for you I'd think! If you have friends things you could borrow and try, that's always nice. Or purchase used and resell after the few months that you use it. 

    Hope that helps! 

  • schazeschaze member
    +1 for Lucie's List! I think it's one email per month and it's always super helpful.

    @steph30032 I think (not 100% sure) that there's a minimum weight for the convertible car seats. I believe the one we have is 8 lbs. Ours also doesn't recline as far as the infant seat. We'll be going with the infant seat, although it'll only be just under 2 years old at the time, just in case this baby is around 7 lbs like DD.
  • @steph30032, I have a friend who went straight to a convertible with zero regrets. At the time Britax made one approved for babies as small as 5lb, which is the smallest most buckets are approved for anyway. 

    If it it doesn't work out to borrow my BFF's infant seat we're going straight to a convertible. I am not wasting the money on another infant seat- I rarely even took it out of the car anyway. 

    Thankfully we had had plenty of friends willing to borrow our infant seat, so it did end up getting plenty of use. Otherwise I personally think they're a waste of money and plastic. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • PeepsterPeepster member
    edited July 2017
    @KLake42 @BelhurstBride I wanted to second the suggestion of the cloth diapers as burp cloths. We bought 2 or 3 packages of plain Gerber 10-packs (we chose the ones you fold on your own). They have been life savers! They're big and so absorbent. They were the only burp cloths we ended up using for DS. We still use them as on-the-go towels for him and he's almost 4. We also buy a pack for any baby shower we attend. The moms-to-be usually give us a strange look and say, "But we're not doing cloth diapers." We then laugh and go, "No, no. Trust us." :)
    BFP #1 4.2.12, M/C 4.12.12 @ 6 weeks :: BFP #2 10.20.12, EDD 6.25.13 Pregnancy Ticker
  • vjraabvjraab member
    @GraceUponGrace09 What baby carrier do you recommend? I had a Chicco one with DD and hated it. I want to wear baby number 2, but am in need of a good carrier?

    other baby wearers, feel free to chime in!
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