"Oh, you're sad about the baby you lost? But you have one coming 3 months later!"
@NYTino24 I've gotten statements like that a few times. "Well you should be happy because now you won't be moving while super pregnant!" was the worst so far.
@kissthesky32@angkay711 People just don't get that having one child doesn't replace another. The two things are not mutually exclusive.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYTino24 They really dont get it. It frustrates me so much. No one has said anything to me lately but people do seem to get uncomfortable and try to change the subject when I acknowledge my loss. But I guess I would rather have that than have them say something stupid.
Female Coworker: Do you know what you are having? Me: A baby. Female Coworker: What's that old wives tale...daughters steal the mother's beauty...yeah that's it. I think you are having a girl.
I had no reply, I just looked at another female coworker beside me and we shared the look of did she really just say that out loud.
@NYTino24 I'm sorry that someone was so insensitive. In my mind I probably would have been delivering a swift throat punch and saying it's ok you'll have another breath of air in a minute.
@DuchessOfCambridge It felt as though I was having a Mean Girls moment. She just kept rolling with the conversation like nothing happened. I'm really hoping she didn't mean for it to come across in a rude way, but that is certainly how I took it.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYTino24@kissthesky32 I have found that a lot of people, even well-meaning people, don't understand loss and how devastating it is unless they have been through it. It seems that the thought process is "oh how sad, she was pregnant and now she's not anymore". Not at all taking into account the actual physical loss (which can be very scary and traumatic) and the mourning that comes with losing a child. That doesn't just go away when a woman gets pregnant again.
Yes, @liz4382. Some of the most insensitive things I've heard have come from people who are generally nice and well-meaning. They just don't get it. It's not that I lost a pregnancy, something medical happening to me - it's that I lost a baby and that life.
I think i would have snapped and gone into great detail of my painful and traumatic labor, hospital stay, and how it absolutely shattered me to hold my tiny little baby and wonder what could have been. I know that is way out there and not tactful or what people want to hear, but if someone doesn't want to hear it, don't make comments like that!
It makes me wonder if some people just think that one day you are magically not pregnant, and it's nothing more than that. I think like @kissthesky32 said some people just don't get it at all. I know my miscarriage completely changed me, and I'm not the same person I was before it happened. You don't get to go back.
@DuchessOfCambridge Sorry, I called you mama in my PM to you! I LOVE calling other women mama (and vice versa) because it's so special to me and I've tried for so long to get to be called that. Sorry!
@SweetMelissa4 no need to apologize! I don't think I even noticed. I have a friend who says it to me alllll the time and that's what I was thinking about haha
Ooo and another "Are you going to just keep getting bigger and bigger every week?!" STFU.
It's too bad you're not around my coworkers. All they do is tell me how I don't even look pregnant (which I currently like hearing) and once I "pop" I think they'll just tell me how cute I look. They're the best.
Also, like @kissthesky32 said, yeah that's generally how it works. I feel like you work with tactless teenagers!!
@DuchessOfCambridge I get, "You don't look pregnant from behind. Must be a boy!" All the time. Um, stop looking at my @$$ and commenting on my body.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@DuchessOfCambridge I get, "You don't look pregnant from behind. Must be a boy!" All the time. Um, stop looking at my @$$ and commenting on my body.
When I was about 7 months pregnant with my first, I had a client ask me to turn circles in front of her while she assessed my body for a gender prediction. She said "Well I can't really tell in your scrubs. Plus I don't know how wide your hips were to start with."
@NYTino24@ooodalollly uh yeah, those are both weird and out of line. My coworkers just try to compliment me and make me feel good. Why doesn't everyone know to either do that or just STFU? Some people don't want to be complimented either so unless you know, just be quiet.
@NYTino24@ooodalollly uh yeah, those are both weird and out of line. My coworkers just try to compliment me and make me feel good. Why doesn't everyone know to either do that or just STFU? Some people don't want to be complimented either so unless you know, just be quiet.
That's their way of telling me that I'm "all belly" since I WAS "so tiny" before. They also have said that you can tell my coworker (who is due in September) is having a girl because she is "puffy in the face". Um, thanks? PS it's all females who are commenting.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
'Oh your having a girl and you have a boy? Great so then you are done!!' Gee thanks for deciding how many kids and what gender they should be!
Also, I got this at a party this weekend, 'oh given how long it's been since the first one, we thought you were done'. My response should have been, yes my uterus would not have it any other way!
I get this too about twins. "One and done!" Why do you assume we only want two children? DH has already brought up the idea of a "little brother" twice in the last month. Granted, he needs to slow his roll.
'Oh your having a girl and you have a boy? Great so then you are done!!' Gee thanks for deciding how many kids and what gender they should be!
Also, I got this at a party this weekend, 'oh given how long it's been since the first one, we thought you were done'. My response should have been, yes my uterus would not have it any other way!
I get this too about twins. "One and done!" Why do you assume we only want two children? DH has already brought up the idea of a "little brother" twice in the last month. Granted, he needs to slow his roll.
A friend of mine had boy girl twins and when they decided to have another 18 months later, everyone was like why? SO. RUDE.
My mom had our sister 13 months after my twin and I were born.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
"Already? You just had your first, was it planned?" - uh, yes I wanted them close in age, but thanks? When we told another couple, and the man said, "I thought you looked pregnant." I just smiled and my husband and I laughed later about it because I wasn't even showing then (end of first trimester). When we tell people that we are done after the second: "But what if you have another boy?" or "You'll have more, just wait." Well, if we have another boy, that sounds great. And it's definitely our last one, I'm positive.
A co-worker just asked me "are you sure there isn't two babies in there?" Jeee thanks for making me feel fat... she followed up with "Do you feel pregnant yet? Because you look like you are"
Re: Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
holy s**t that is awful. What a terrible thing to say. I'm sorry you had to hear that!
Me: A baby.
Female Coworker: What's that old wives tale...daughters steal the mother's beauty...yeah that's it. I think you are having a girl.
I had no reply, I just looked at another female coworker beside me and we shared the look of did she really just say that out loud.
@maegpie also no.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
It makes me wonder if some people just think that one day you are magically not pregnant, and it's nothing more than that. I think like @kissthesky32 said some people just don't get it at all. I know my miscarriage completely changed me, and I'm not the same person I was before it happened. You don't get to go back.
"Are you going to just keep getting bigger and bigger every week?!" STFU.
Also, like @kissthesky32 said, yeah that's generally how it works. I feel like you work with tactless teenagers!!
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
@NYTino24 seriously? I would be explaining how looking at and commenting on my butt is sexual harrassment.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
A friend of mine had boy girl twins and when they decided to have another 18 months later, everyone was like why? SO. RUDE.
twin and I were born.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
When we told another couple, and the man said, "I thought you looked pregnant." I just smiled and my husband and I laughed later about it because I wasn't even showing then (end of first trimester).
When we tell people that we are done after the second: "But what if you have another boy?" or "You'll have more, just wait." Well, if we have another boy, that sounds great. And it's definitely our last one, I'm positive.
It's 11am and it's a salad mind yo business.
Eta us pregnant ladies are supposed to eat every 3 hours, docs orders. Your coworker needs to stfu.