Yeah I just wish there was more time taken beforehand by the medical professionals to lay out the options and talk about what the mom wants/does not want to be on the table (barring emergency circumstances of course). For my birth, I don't want anyone talking about epidurals because I know they exist so I'll demand one if I want it, but otherwise I don't want that thought put in my head. But I like the idea of nitrous oxide so that's something that I'm fine with being offered. I'm not planning on drafting a dissertation of a birth plan but I think those "ok to talk about/not ok to talk about barring emergency" things will probably be helpful to me because I lose the headgame kind of easily if I'm getting input from others while I'm in pain.
But then again I'm a FTM so feel free to ignore me
seems I need to be more clear for those slower on the uptake. I'm only referring to births without complications duh why tf would anyone choose to have a csec without pain meds. That's just insane
This doesn't change my response one bit. I didn't have any complications, but I chose an epidural, solely to make myself more comfortable. This allowed me to be calm and have a pretty enjoyable birth experience (not to say this isn't possible without medication). Whether someone chooses to medicate, regardless of the circumstances, is their choice. It has no affect on you, and it doesn't put the baby at risk, so why does it matter to you?
October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You Had One Job!"
I mean, if an unmedicated birth was so important to a person, wouldn't they come into the hospital with that as part of their birth plan?
For me, I had no birth plan aside from getting the baby here as safely and quickly as possible. I was prepared to labor unmedicated as long as I felt comfortable which happened to be as soon as I walked into the hospital. I was prepared for a csection (as much as one could possibly be prepared I suppose). I have zero regrets about any of my medication whatsoever. It was a glorious labor and delivery experience and I can only hope to have one that nice (yes, nice) this time around.
I never knew there was any debate about it until I started seeing mommy wars online (not here, but comment sections of Scary Mommy and the likes).
I've said it before and I'll say it again - these are things people should discuss with their doctor/practice beforehand. If they aren't on the same page as their doctors, then they should find another practice. I have a new practice this time since we moved states and I already had a (quick) discussion with my doctor to see how she felt about the whole thing and we are on the same page. If we hadn't been, I would have found a different practice whose outlook was more similar to mine.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Ha! that's why it's also an UO. from @carries2018 "i assume csection moms throw in the towel too? lazy biddies" -seriously, like obviously not talking about csec births *eye roll*
I could care less what anyone chooses for their labor/delivery experience...this is just my - dare I say - OPINION!
ETA: also a confession and not something I openly share with anyone else!
Me: 30 DH: 32 BFP#1: 9/9/2014 DS born 4/7/15 BFP#2: 6/16/2016 MC/D&C: 7/29/2016 BFP#3: 10/14/2016 (fingers crossed for a sticky bean)
I sorta want to say/input on the epidural part, more along the lines with what @migdala is saying, I hate that my epidural with my first was pushed on me before I was ready for it.
It's story time, when I entered the hospital, they asked if I would be wanting an epidural and I said sure. I wanted to labor as long as possible without it though, but never verbally expressed this. I figured that they asked so I could go ahead and get the IV part out of the way and then I could get it as soon as I asked for it. But then in walks the anesthesiologist to give mine and I was feeling absolutely zero pain at that point. Knowing now how much I hated the way it made my body feel so useless, I really wished I had told them that I wasn't ready for it at that point and the asked for it later. But I was a naïve and scared FTM and just went with it. They shouldn't just give it to you unless you ask for it whether you ask at the beginning or more towards the end.
@migdala I didn't have a birth plan with my first. I thought it was sorta silly and a sure fire way to end up disappointed. But this time I plan to have one that simply states "I want an epidural but want to labor as long as possible without it." Just make sure that your plans are explained more in detail. Don't assume anything going into labor.
LOVED my epidurals both times and it was always a part of my birth plan to have one. In fact, I progressed more quickly with each labor after my epidural because I was no longer clutching my bed rails tensed up in pain and could finally relax and allow my body to do what it needed to do.
@mrs_fogue That's good advice. DH knows exactly what I want but he's a FTD so there's def no guarantee that he won't blank on everything I've told him once things really get going. I'm a needle-phobe to the extreme so I feel like it'll take a lot for me to ask for an epidural but we'll see ... I seriously pray everyday I don't test positive for GBS because the idea of having an IV in during labor scares me more than literally anything else about the whole process. I can handle pain ok but needles turn me into a blubbering mess.
My mom is VERY anxious about anything to do with her eyes - she can barely handle the regular eye doctor and cries just thinking about it. She had to have a 5 minute lazer procedure yesterday and has been worked up for days because of it. I had a REALLY hard time being empathetic because her doctor offered to prescribe her anti anxiety meds to take for the procedure and she refused them. She was worried about how she would react and refused to try one on a random day to see. I'm an awful daughter.
@KDeola- same here. The first time I was on the verge of a panic attack with contractions right on top of each other when I got my epidural. I truly believe I was able to progress as well as I did because of my epidural.
@migdala I wouldn't assume that you won't have an IV if you're GBS negative and go with no epidural. At my hospital you get an IV as part of the admission process no matter what, there are a lot of things that can go wrong that make them want IV access. Like excess blood loss. Also, I delivered too early to be tested for GBS with DD2 so I got the antibiotics just in case. I wouldn't go into it expecting not to see needles if you're delivering in a hospital.
Ha! that's why it's also an UO. from @carries2018 "i assume csection moms throw in the towel too? lazy biddies" -seriously, like obviously not talking about csec births *eye roll*
I could care less what anyone chooses for their labor/delivery experience...this is just my - dare I say - OPINION!
ETA: also a confession and not something I openly share with anyone else!
If you don't get @carries2018 sarcasm by now then there's no hope for you.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
My confession is, and I want it on record that I'm NOT a judgey person by nature, but I feel like many mamas give up too early on unmedicated births I feel horrible thinking it but every single one of my gfs asked for an epidural the second they were admitted without even seeing how their pain tolerance is and what their amazing bodies are capable of! We can do it! Haha please don't hate me.
Let's break this down a little since you are majorly back-pedaling currently.
1. You are really not the best person to determine your level of natural judgey-ness. Most people claim to be totally unbiased and no one is.
2. You said you are talking about medical professio als but this clearly says your gfs asked for the epidural. This doesn't sound like a case of "omg the medical community didn't educate and just pushed the drugs"!
If you can't stand the heat then stay out of the kitchen.
As many people have already said, not everyone desires a med-free birth regardless of complications.
To reiterate... what you just said was "I am totally not judging but I am actually judging if you have these circumstances and don't do things the way I did them."
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
@ac1259 Honestly, the IV-optional policy was a MAJOR factor in my decision to go with a midwifery center instead of regular hospital. My extreme needle aversion totally outs me as a crazy person but so be it -- I HATE them!!
God, I want a margarita so bad. We have a sh*t ton of tequila sitting on the bar that was gifted to DH a few weeks ago. So instead I'm sitting here eating my Chipotle chicken bowl and guac with chips. Silver linings?
June 2017 Siggy Challenge: "You had one job to do!"
1) you are entitled to your opinion, but no one said it would be flame-free. and i am entitled to believe that you are a judgemental person and are offensive to other women about something so not your business. 2) my eyeballs hurt from rolling so hard out of my skull reading what you say 3)
Yeah I just wish there was more time taken beforehand by the medical professionals to lay out the options and talk about what the mom wants/does not want to be on the table (barring emergency circumstances of course).
My experience has been very different from this, so I am curious about where the breakdown is that leaves so many women feeling like their options were not laid out for them and they didn't have a chance to talk about it. My ob's have always been very open with me and answered many questions before I even bothered to ask. When I do ask questions, they will tell me in detail what their recommendations are and the studies that have led them to those conclusions and how it is relevant to my situation in particular. My current ob has been fantastic about this: here is my medical opinion and why I think this route is best/not good/reasonably appropriate for you, here are some other plausible options for you, here is some information on studies that show all of that, here are some written materials, and of course, feel free to do your own research and come back to me with any questions. Our pediatrician and DS's pulmonologist even do this for us.
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned* Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17 High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
I asked my lunch deli to add avocado on my southwest quesadilla today, specifically due to our conversation about guac. They charged me for it, but didn't actually put any on there. And I don't want to walk all the way back over there!
That "for those of you slow on the uptake" business made me want to leap through the computer screen so I could include facial expressions with my "are you f*ing kidding me right now?" for maximum effect. I have officially started my first ever post-it. Good Lord.
@aprilsarahjune I think it def depends on the care provider. My midwives now are fantastic about this kind of thing. *TW* But when I was going through my MC, the OB I was seeing at the time was truly, truly awful about telling me what could be happening and what my options were. She wouldn't even look at my charts and kept telling me my dates must be wrong because the fetus was measuring 5 weeks with no heartbeat when I knew I was almost 9 weeks and we had already seen a heartbeat. And then once she decided I was right and it was a MC, the only solution she offered was misoprostol and she dismissed my concerns about potentially needing a secondary D&C (I was taking the bar exam in 4 days so I needed a solution that gave me the best odds of sitting that test). I ended up transferring my care entirely to the midwives so they could refer me for a D&C. *End TW* So the moral of the story is I agree with @natleilynn - if you don't like your care provider, find someone else! It's so important.
That "for those of you slow on the uptake" business made me want to leap through the computer screen so I could include facial expressions with my "are you f*ing kidding me right now?" for maximum effect. I have officially started my first ever post-it. Good Lord.
I kinda feel like if this many people are taking it a certain way, then perhaps it was not worded the best way? Perhaps? Yeah?
Or maybe it was worded exactly how it was intended. Who knows. Either way. Here's a gif for your trouble since you can't quite make it through the screen :
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
That "for those of you slow on the uptake" business made me want to leap through the computer screen so I could include facial expressions with my "are you f*ing kidding me right now?" for maximum effect. I have officially started my first ever post-it. Good Lord.
I kinda feel like if this many people are taking it a certain way, then perhaps it was not worded the best way? Perhaps? Yeah?
Or maybe it was worded exactly how it was intended. Who knows. Either way. Here's a gif for your trouble since you can't quite make it through the screen :
@natleilynn or are we all just reading into it too much and making assumptions? I mean, that's what I keep being told when I call a certain someone out on their shitty comments.
#science?
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
I'm also feeling about robbed because all of these people have already been on my post it so I can't go add in a rage. I guess I could just add a column for second offenses.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
i think @jessafishy needs to email all us her spreadsheet to save us the trouble. my fav is out my earlier fffc was about her but she has no idea bc she doesn't read anything but her own perfection.
That "for those of you slow on the uptake" business made me want to leap through the computer screen so I could include facial expressions with my "are you f*ing kidding me right now?" for maximum effect. I have officially started my first ever post-it. Good Lord.
I kinda feel like if this many people are taking it a certain way, then perhaps it was not worded the best way? Perhaps? Yeah?
Or maybe it was worded exactly how it was intended. Who knows. Either way. Here's a gif for your trouble since you can't quite make it through the screen :
@natleilynn or are we all just reading into it too much and making assumptions? I mean, that's what I keep being told when I call a certain someone out on their shitty comments.
#science?
I mean, I feel like I rarely get offended/up in arms over these comment discussions. But yeah, this one even rubbed me the wrong way. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know how I feel about being told I gave up because I wanted a more pleasant experience and am slow on the uptake...whatevs, man, gimme all the drugs.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
FFFC I wish there would have been more hole digging and doubling down because I feel like all the other BMB get more threads shut down and TOU violations than we do
FFFC: despite the fact that I had a wrong guess at 15w, and totally side eye earlier guesses based on ultrasounds... I am soooo tempted to go to this place by my house that does guesses starting at 13.5. With two ID twins, more chances to verify that your guess is correct, right?
Already lovetitted everyone who said what I was thinking re: "giving up" on med-free labor. Major eyeroll. Plus, adding a little "you can do it ladies! your body is amazing!" doesn't mask your judgment, it's really just condescending.
I mean, I feel like I rarely get offended/up in arms over these comment discussions. But yeah, this one even rubbed me the wrong way. I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know how I feel about being told I gave up because I wanted a more pleasant experience and am slow on the uptake...whatevs, man, gimme all the drugs.
If it's in a FFFC or UO thread and its controversial, the OP meant for it to get a rise out of someone. Especially with follow up's that aren't apologies. I just laugh and eat my popcorn. Thanks for the amusement today.
You reminded me @TallMomma29 I had a moment at what I thought was 12wk (that turned out to be closer to 14 wk) where I felt movement and I don't think anyone took me seriously lol. Now that I feel the kid every day I'm confident it was movement.
Then I started posting about getting a sex reveal by US at 14 wk and I don't think people believed that either.
So FFFC I've got my AS on Monday and I'm praying to goodness it confirms 14wk NT scan so I can finally have my redemption lmao
Re: FFFC*
But then again I'm a FTM so feel free to ignore me
Apparently I'm weak ... and "slow on the uptake".
::MAJOR eye roll::
Pshhhhh.
For me, I had no birth plan aside from getting the baby here as safely and quickly as possible. I was prepared to labor unmedicated as long as I felt comfortable which happened to be as soon as I walked into the hospital. I was prepared for a csection (as much as one could possibly be prepared I suppose). I have zero regrets about any of my medication whatsoever. It was a glorious labor and delivery experience and I can only hope to have one that nice (yes, nice) this time around.
I never knew there was any debate about it until I started seeing mommy wars online (not here, but comment sections of Scary Mommy and the likes).
I've said it before and I'll say it again - these are things people should discuss with their doctor/practice beforehand. If they aren't on the same page as their doctors, then they should find another practice. I have a new practice this time since we moved states and I already had a (quick) discussion with my doctor to see how she felt about the whole thing and we are on the same page. If we hadn't been, I would have found a different practice whose outlook was more similar to mine.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Ha! that's why it's also an UO. from @carries2018 "i assume csection moms throw in the towel too? lazy biddies" -seriously, like obviously not talking about csec births *eye roll*
I could care less what anyone chooses for their labor/delivery experience...this is just my - dare I say - OPINION!
ETA: also a confession and not something I openly share with anyone else!
BFP#1: 9/9/2014 DS born 4/7/15
BFP#2: 6/16/2016 MC/D&C: 7/29/2016
BFP#3: 10/14/2016 (fingers crossed for a sticky bean)
I sorta want to say/input on the epidural part, more along the lines with what @migdala is saying, I hate that my epidural with my first was pushed on me before I was ready for it.
It's story time, when I entered the hospital, they asked if I would be wanting an epidural and I said sure. I wanted to labor as long as possible without it though, but never verbally expressed this. I figured that they asked so I could go ahead and get the IV part out of the way and then I could get it as soon as I asked for it. But then in walks the anesthesiologist to give mine and I was feeling absolutely zero pain at that point. Knowing now how much I hated the way it made my body feel so useless, I really wished I had told them that I wasn't ready for it at that point and the asked for it later. But I was a naïve and scared FTM and just went with it. They shouldn't just give it to you unless you ask for it whether you ask at the beginning or more towards the end.
@migdala I didn't have a birth plan with my first. I thought it was sorta silly and a sure fire way to end up disappointed. But this time I plan to have one that simply states "I want an epidural but want to labor as long as possible without it." Just make sure that your plans are explained more in detail. Don't assume anything going into labor.
Baby Boy due October 2017
@migdala I wouldn't assume that you won't have an IV if you're GBS negative and go with no epidural. At my hospital you get an IV as part of the admission process no matter what, there are a lot of things that can go wrong that make them want IV access. Like excess blood loss. Also, I delivered too early to be tested for GBS with DD2 so I got the antibiotics just in case. I wouldn't go into it expecting not to see needles if you're delivering in a hospital.
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
1. You are really not the best person to determine your level of natural judgey-ness. Most people claim to be totally unbiased and no one is.
2. You said you are talking about medical professio als but this clearly says your gfs asked for the epidural. This doesn't sound like a case of "omg the medical community didn't educate and just pushed the drugs"!
If you can't stand the heat then stay out of the kitchen.
As many people have already said, not everyone desires a med-free birth regardless of complications.
To reiterate... what you just said was "I am totally not judging but I am actually judging if you have these circumstances and don't do things the way I did them."
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
1) you are entitled to your opinion, but no one said it would be flame-free. and i am entitled to believe that you are a judgemental person and are offensive to other women about something so not your business.
2) my eyeballs hurt from rolling so hard out of my skull reading what you say
3)
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
*O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
Or maybe it was worded exactly how it was intended. Who knows. Either way. Here's a gif for your trouble since you can't quite make it through the screen
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
#science?
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Eta: one warning, not at least one
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
If it's in a FFFC or UO thread and its controversial, the OP meant for it to get a rise out of someone. Especially with follow up's that aren't apologies. I just laugh and eat my popcorn. Thanks for the amusement today.
Then I started posting about getting a sex reveal by US at 14 wk and I don't think people believed that either.
So FFFC I've got my AS on Monday and I'm praying to goodness it confirms 14wk NT scan so I can finally have my redemption lmao