My husband has accused me of "playing the pregnancy card" too much lately.
The exhaustive list of things I have "played" for: 1. Help getting out toddler up and downstairs 2. Help getting toddler in and out of carseat 3. That he occasionally roll over in bed
Meanwhile this is after he got to go to a conference last week which turned into a mini vacation while I stayed home and worked full days and did solo parent duty. WTF.
I hate incompetency. Half of the stuff on our Babies R Us registry did not register as being from the registry! BRU gives you a cut of the total amount spent on your registry after you deliver, so it actually matters. Not to mention the hassle because we've gotten duplicate items due to this. AND, we want to return something but have no receipt and no way of proving it's from our registry. Also, everything that was shipped from BRU to our house has been broken. 100%. Incompetency!
We bought DS a larger bed last week (full size) and the mattress came this weekend. I was so excited to get it all put together but when we took it out of the box we realized that they gave us a full-sized frame EXCEPT the headboard which was a twin size. So now he's sleeping on a mattress on the floor and we have bed boxes stacked in our room and I have one more thing I need to deal with this week.
So in place of the shower i decided to forego, the girls from church decided to put a blurb in the bulletin and have people bring us diapers for three weeks and us just pick them up after service. This is what theyve typically done in the past for second+ children so i was fine with it. However, its been two weeks of the three and weve gotten one box of diapers and one small thing of wipes. Kinda ticks me off bc weve been going there for years and thought we had a close group of people there but literally nobody has asked how we are doing or checked in or brought anything for the babies except one couple. Then on friday after an exhausting week, one of the guys rang our doorbell and asked if he could borrow a chainsaw then mocked me for being on mod. bedrest and laughed about it and asked if wed be at small group.... Where id be trying to wrangle my dd...
I hate to sound bratty about presents but i just thought we were way closer than this
Thank you for starting this thread this week! I'm sure we could all use it.
I'm just so baffled by one of my bosses. I'm going to be done working at the end of April. She knows I'm not coming back, but she wants me to attend a seminar to apply the concepts to how we currently run our daycare. Why!? I'm not even going to be here anymore. Why wouldn't you have someone else attend who will actually be here to make sure there's follow through. Also, she wants me to attend a "gala" as a representative for our business about a week before I'll be leaving. Again, why me? Any networking I do will be moot a week later. Why not have one of the other staff go, who will be around to talk to these people? Neither thing is really even a big deal, I'm just frustrated that she wants me doing these things when I already have work senioritis, and I don't think it makes sense for me to do either.
I have a Facebook friend who has a 2 year old daughter. She has been posting memes/rants/toddler clothes all featuring "the Future is Female." Now, I am a liberal and a feminist, but this seriously irks me. I feel like this may make me a "bad" feminist....but I hate that slogan. Maybe it's because I'm about to be the the mom of 2 sons, but I'd like to think the future is equal, and sex/gender will not hold anyone back. The future is not solely female. In my head, feminism = equality, not to the exclusion of males. My boys are the future, too. And they will be raised to believe that sex/gender plays no role in ability or intellect. Can we change it to "the Future is Equally Male and Female"?
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
@WombThereItIs: Love that pic. A month or two ago, on some other names board, a woman said she and her H named their baby Philip because her H loves Futurama so much. I immediately called my H and suggested we do the same, haha!
Re the "pregnancy card": WTF. Being asked to roll over? Help carry the toddler? He has SUCH a hard life doing these things for you!! How ever will he manage through this hardship? Oh, the ordeal! Oh, the humanity! You are effing growing a PERSON. He can kindly go suck it.
@jayandaplus: yes, seriously, the incompetency. That's def one of the most annoying things to deal with about people. Just do your job and do it well. It's not a lot to ask.
I put my fmla paperwork in for intermittent leave Friday before last. I get an email this past Friday at 8 pm that I have ten days to get a new part of the paperwork taken care of. Ok...... they counted the day they sent it at 8 pm like that's even possible to use. Then it's the weekend then we have a massive snow storm coming and another weekend I'm like wtf.... also it shouldn't have taken over a week to respond that my MD made a mistake
@WombThereItIs - My husband is doing the same thing! He also has a man cold, and has been trying to milk that to get out of stuff. He has not been successful. I don't care how severe your cold is, I really don't. (1) You can take Nyquil and Afrin and all of the good drugs, and (2) I AM GROWING A HUMAN.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
@WombThereItIs I missed your post before. But that's terrible. He's playing the "man cold" card. We all know pregnancy card trumps man cold!! Plus, as others have said and is obvious, you're growing a human!
@kayemjay2 I completely agree! Feminism is about equality. Going the other direction is just as bad.
@starphish18 That sounds very frustrating! @Yiggle09 Sorry you're having to deal with that!
@Jkp7749 I'm very sorry more people have not come forward. You're right, it's not about gifts, but the message behind it. I'd be hurt, too! Especially given your involvement over the years and that people agreed to give diapers. I hope people are just behind, and there will be a catch up phase. You have every right to be mad and sad. Thinking of you!
WTF toddler tantrums for absolutely no reason. Ughh DD2 you got a full nights sleep, meanwhile I was up 1000 times peeing. It's too early and I'm too tired to deal with this today!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@hp_momma add me to the toddler tantrum list. We just had a 20 minute (pantsless) meltdown because I asked him to try and pull up his own pants after going pee. The nerve of me.
@WombThereItIs - there would be a dead man in my house if my husband said that. I say that in all seriousness. I've had to ask my husband to take over with carrying the toddler on the stairs, and if that's "playing the pregnancy card", so be it. I mean, I kind of viewed it as "being concerned for the safety of myself and our children so I didn't kill all of us falling down the stairs".
@hp_momma - I second the toddler tantrums! If I get told "no, no" with a little finger wave one more time....
I'd like to WTF the time change. I hate it. Leave the time alone!!!!!!!!!!
So in place of the shower i decided to forego, the girls from church decided to put a blurb in the bulletin and have people bring us diapers for three weeks and us just pick them up after service. This is what theyve typically done in the past for second+ children so i was fine with it. However, its been two weeks of the three and weve gotten one box of diapers and one small thing of wipes. Kinda ticks me off bc weve been going there for years and thought we had a close group of people there but literally nobody has asked how we are doing or checked in or brought anything for the babies except one couple. Then on friday after an exhausting week, one of the guys rang our doorbell and asked if he could borrow a chainsaw then mocked me for being on mod. bedrest and laughed about it and asked if wed be at small group.... Where id be trying to wrangle my dd...
I hate to sound bratty about presents but i just thought we were way closer than this
Understand 100%. A mom in my FB July 14 group just lost her aunt. I offered my condolences. One mom in the group took up a collection to send a floral arrangement and an Alex & Ani bracelet. I just lost my grandfather, no such gesture was made. I guess I'm like, why is her loss more deserving/important/etc than mine? Idk. I responded to the request with "thanks for thinking of her and including me, but I'm still short of funds from being out of work just a couple weeks ago when my grandpa died." Response was "no problem!"
Its not even about the gifts....just that no such gesture was even attempted. I guess our group is just so close that my feelings were kind of hurt. But, I kept it to myself. I'm not about to start drama over a gift/gesture.
Today is the first Monday after daylight savings and it snowed.... I don't think I'll survive teaching today. My first period students were fighting like siblings... After I put out one fire, another would be starting...
My family is planning a surprise baby shower for me & a family friend came to my MIL (in front of me) to ask her if she could reschedule because she's planning a bday party for her niece that day. First, if you can't attend that's okay, have your party. Second, why would you ever think its okay to ask such a thing in front of me? Knowing its a surprise. I'm just happy I don't know said niece or her birthday.
Then, to top it off she said, "Its just a baby shower, AND this is a birthday we're talking about. I don't see why you can't just change the day."
@starphish18 I was really shocked and I felt the blood rush to my head. I was pretty upset. From what I know her niece is 23, if said niece was a child I'd understand her urgency a bit more -___- BUT still she could have asked when I wasn't there!
@Jkp7749 I would be hurt about the lack of participation too. However, and this is likely a UO, I'm always irked by requests for diapers. When I threw a friend's shower last year, she demanded I include a diaper raffle because she was having twins and would need diapers. It just rubbed my etiquette feelings the wrong way. I mean, I'm not all about the etiquette. My friends are throwing me a sprinkle for this 2nd kid (another UO). I just think diapers are so expensive and I wouldn't want to have anyone solicit me for gifts, let alone specific gifts. If you're a friend or family member, I'll get you a gift regardless of how many kids you have and regardless of whether you have a shower. So maybe there's some underlying feelings in your congregation that you aren't tapped in to?
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot i felt funny about doing it that way too bc then its not even really a celebration, its just presents... But that is what they typically do and theyve been happy to do it for others so idk why it would all of a sudden bother them.
@CarmCeG that's ridiculous both that she ruined the surprise and that she expects other people to accommodate a 23 year old's birthday! Why would she think the shower would be moved just for her? Some people.
I would also like to add a bitch that I wish I was in upstate NY right now. One of my cousins posted abut a garbage plate and now that's aaaaall I can think about. Damn Colorado and their non garbage plate eating ways.
I'll jump on the annoyance around gift giving bandwagon...I have never been a fan of baby showers and was basically forced by my mom into a shower for my DS. Because our family lives on the other side of the country, the shower requires flying, so I was able to convince her that a shower for this baby girl was not necessary. Also, I think that it's important to point out that I have NO expectations of people buying me anything for this baby...BUT...my husband has 5 sisters. They have had 10 kids between them and one of them just had twins in December and had 3, yes 3, showers that I was invited to and sent a gift for each one. I talk to all of them multiple times/week. No one has even asked if we are having a shower or if I have a registry/if we need anything. It's weird that I'm upset by it, because I really don't NEED them to buy anything and I've mentioned before that I hate showers, I just wish they seemed a little more excited about welcoming this new little one to the family. Or at least wish they showed a little bit of care in asking if we needed anything. Whatevs.
Also, this impending snow storm in the north east? WTF. Bracing for 12-14 inches tomorrow.
@CarmCeG honestly I don't know that I would want someone like that at my shower. She sounds like an AW and would end up being rude and awkward the whole time. I can't get over the fact that she did this over a 23 year olds birthday...
My bitch is that we just got a used van as a vehicle upgrade for me (set aside a good part of our return to do so) and 2 weeks after buying it it is in the shop getting $2200 worth of repairs. I really don't want to call the place we got it from and have this out over the phone... but DH has a busy week at work and so I have to try and play nice with them... why do people have to be jerks?!
@kiperoo@SparkySunDevil@Jkp7749I completely understand this annoyance. I just feel that now a days people complain about not having true/real friends or friends who only pop out when they need something and it bothers me that they are the first ones to be this type of friend.
When both my friends were pregnant two years ago, I went out of my way to buy them gifts they wanted and help them throw their baby showers. Now I did all of this out of the kindness of my heart, so don't get me wrong. For one of my friends, I had to walk in 80 degree weather because my car broke down and get her a tank for her balloons.
Now that my family is planning my baby shower, they haven't reached out to offer any help. It is not always about money or gifts, but I am a bit irritated with them for not offering to help decorate day of, etc. Especially the one that claims to be my "best friend."
I realize that was a bit ranty and long. ladies. LOL
So I got into an accident a few weeks ago which I posted about. We hemmed and hawed on what to do about my car and decided to fix the bumper and fender. They arrived and were put on on Friday by my husband. Saturday he calls me and tells me my motor is blown and now we have to buy a new motor and gaskets. 2 grand out the window. Ugh.
And this damn nor'easter! It's gonna cancel my flight and since I bought it with points I'll be out money for a new flight since there are no flights to Albany through Southwest until SUNDAY! For fvcks sake! So no clue when I'll get home whether it's Wednesday or Thursday.
To everyone feeling slighted by friends or family not seeming as interested in showers or gifts for your LO, I totally get it. No one seems gift grabby, I think it's just hard when you see someone else being treated one way and you're treated another way. Sorry to all those who have felt slighted.
@CarmCeG that is ridiculous! What a self-centered jerk!
My bitchfest -- Today is the first day of my spring break (I'm a professor). So, that's awesome. However, I rallied up until break, clearly, because hours after I finished up on Friday I developed symptoms of a cold and now I'm sick. I'm also completely not thrilled that it's supposed to be painfully cold all week. Why is March so much worse than February, which was practically summer?
Worse of all, there is supposed to be a massive snowstorm here tomorrow that will definitely cancel school for my two kids, possibly even for two days! I wanted to get to enjoy my break ALONE, and I really don't want to care for these kids while sick. On Thursday and Friday I won't have much free time because of course I booked things like my midwife checkup and 32 week ultrasound during this time, as well as some other meetings. Luckily I had the wherewithal to reschedule my pregnancy massage that was supposed to be tomorrow to Friday before they called me to say, "nevermind, we're closed!" So I'm still getting that massage!
My family is planning a surprise baby shower for me & a family friend came to my MIL (in front of me) to ask her if she could reschedule because she's planning a bday party for her niece that day. First, if you can't attend that's okay, have your party. Second, why would you ever think its okay to ask such a thing in front of me? Knowing its a surprise. I'm just happy I don't know said niece or her birthday.
Then, to top it off she said, "Its just a baby shower, AND this is a birthday we're talking about. I don't see why you can't just change the day."
WOW this is stupid. Who asks to reschedule a whole event just because they can't attend? I could sort of get it if all of the same people would be invited to both things, but even then why should you be changing yours? And with it being a surprise WTF about talking in front of you?
I would also agree that a baby shower trumps a birthday at pretty much any age, especially an adult age like 23. Who celebrates their 23rd birthday?!
@Kipperoo - I think that would agitate me, as well. Neither my sister or my sister in law (brother's wife) have asked me a single question about this pregnancy or any celebrations pertaining to it. Granted, I'm not having a shower, but the lack of interest all around is frustrating. Especially considering the ridiculous DEBACLE of showers my sister in law had for both my nephew and niece. I don't even want your damn gifts, but how about you acknowledge that I'm pregnant? That would be cool.
WTF grocery store bagger guy. When I sort my cart by like items so that I can put them in the belt sorted, I expect they'll be bagged as such.
Example #1. I bought 1 lemon, 1 lime, and 2 bananas, along with packaged precut fresh pineapple and watermelon. One bag? Nope. Spread over 5 bags. And the bananas were in 2 different bags!!
Example #2. A package of deli cheese, a bag of snack cheese, and a small container of dip. Three different bags.
Example #3. Two boxes of frozen fish, 2 bags of frozen foods, and 4 boxes of frozen meals. All spread out and intermixed with things like pasta, my bread, and something produce.
Example #4. I had five canned items, plus a couple bottled items. Two different bags, intermixed with some meats and pantry.
ALSO! Why you no use the two heavy duty woven bags for all the milk (3 half-gallon cartons, 1 gallon jug) and cream (half-gallon carton)? He split them up into my flimsy nylon bags and packed my good bags with lightweight items. DUDE WTF?!?
Put the fridge stuff together. Put the frozen stuff together. Put the produce stuff together. Meats. Cans and bottles. Shelf-stable pantry packages. Softs and squishables. Chemical Industrial. That way we can drop bags where that stuff will go instead of having to unpack every bag in the counter looking for the perishables first.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
@kat81 My MIL says that she was obviously being bitter for trying to ruin it for me. I mean who plans a daytime birthday party for a 23 year old ?? lol
@RedInLove I so feel you! We put things on the belt in the order they go away at home so they can get bagged that way. Stop mixing crap up! I sometimes have to bag myself and it works just fine to bag them as they come across. Also, don't put 6 powerade bottles in 1 single bag. Hellllllooooo.
Re: Monday bitchfest
The exhaustive list of things I have "played" for:
1. Help getting out toddler up and downstairs
2. Help getting toddler in and out of carseat
3. That he occasionally roll over in bed
Meanwhile this is after he got to go to a conference last week which turned into a mini vacation while I stayed home and worked full days and did solo parent duty. WTF.
May '17 labor memes
I hate incompetency. Half of the stuff on our Babies R Us registry did not register as being from the registry! BRU gives you a cut of the total amount spent on your registry after you deliver, so it actually matters. Not to mention the hassle because we've gotten duplicate items due to this. AND, we want to return something but have no receipt and no way of proving it's from our registry. Also, everything that was shipped from BRU to our house has been broken. 100%. Incompetency!
I hate to sound bratty about presents but i just thought we were way closer than this
I'm just so baffled by one of my bosses. I'm going to be done working at the end of April. She knows I'm not coming back, but she wants me to attend a seminar to apply the concepts to how we currently run our daycare. Why!? I'm not even going to be here anymore. Why wouldn't you have someone else attend who will actually be here to make sure there's follow through. Also, she wants me to attend a "gala" as a representative for our business about a week before I'll be leaving. Again, why me? Any networking I do will be moot a week later. Why not have one of the other staff go, who will be around to talk to these people? Neither thing is really even a big deal, I'm just frustrated that she wants me doing these things when I already have work senioritis, and I don't think it makes sense for me to do either.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Re the "pregnancy card": WTF. Being asked to roll over? Help carry the toddler? He has SUCH a hard life doing these things for you!! How ever will he manage through this hardship? Oh, the ordeal! Oh, the humanity! You are effing growing a PERSON. He can kindly go suck it.
@jayandaplus: yes, seriously, the incompetency. That's def one of the most annoying things to deal with about people. Just do your job and do it well. It's not a lot to ask.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
@kayemjay2 I completely agree! Feminism is about equality. Going the other direction is just as bad.
@starphish18 That sounds very frustrating! @Yiggle09 Sorry you're having to deal with that!
@Jkp7749 I'm very sorry more people have not come forward. You're right, it's not about gifts, but the message behind it. I'd be hurt, too! Especially given your involvement over the years and that people agreed to give diapers. I hope people are just behind, and there will be a catch up phase. You have every right to be mad and sad. Thinking of you!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@hp_momma - I second the toddler tantrums! If I get told "no, no" with a little finger wave one more time....
I'd like to WTF the time change. I hate it. Leave the time alone!!!!!!!!!!
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
Its not even about the gifts....just that no such gesture was even attempted. I guess our group is just so close that my feelings were kind of hurt. But, I kept it to myself. I'm not about to start drama over a gift/gesture.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
My family is planning a surprise baby shower for me & a family friend came to my MIL (in front of me) to ask her if she could reschedule because she's planning a bday party for her niece that day. First, if you can't attend that's okay, have your party. Second, why would you ever think its okay to ask such a thing in front of me? Knowing its a surprise. I'm just happy I don't know said niece or her birthday.
Then, to top it off she said, "Its just a baby shower, AND this is a birthday we're talking about. I don't see why you can't just change the day."
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I would also like to add a bitch that I wish I was in upstate NY right now. One of my cousins posted abut a garbage plate and now that's aaaaall I can think about. Damn Colorado and their non garbage plate eating ways.
Also, this impending snow storm in the north east? WTF. Bracing for 12-14 inches tomorrow.
My bitch is that we just got a used van as a vehicle upgrade for me (set aside a good part of our return to do so) and 2 weeks after buying it it is in the shop getting $2200 worth of repairs. I really don't want to call the place we got it from and have this out over the phone... but DH has a busy week at work and so I have to try and play nice with them... why do people have to be jerks?!
@kiperoo @SparkySunDevil @Jkp7749I completely understand this annoyance. I just feel that now a days people complain about not having true/real friends or friends who only pop out when they need something and it bothers me that they are the first ones to be this type of friend.
When both my friends were pregnant two years ago, I went out of my way to buy them gifts they wanted and help them throw their baby showers. Now I did all of this out of the kindness of my heart, so don't get me wrong. For one of my friends, I had to walk in 80 degree weather because my car broke down and get her a tank for her balloons.
Now that my family is planning my baby shower, they haven't reached out to offer any help. It is not always about money or gifts, but I am a bit irritated with them for not offering to help decorate day of, etc. Especially the one that claims to be my "best friend."
I realize that was a bit ranty and long. ladies. LOL
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
And this damn nor'easter! It's gonna cancel my flight and since I bought it with points I'll be out money for a new flight since there are no flights to Albany through Southwest until SUNDAY! For fvcks sake! So no clue when I'll get home whether it's Wednesday or Thursday.
@CarmCeG that is ridiculous! What a self-centered jerk!
Worse of all, there is supposed to be a massive snowstorm here tomorrow that will definitely cancel school for my two kids, possibly even for two days! I wanted to get to enjoy my break ALONE, and I really don't want to care for these kids while sick. On Thursday and Friday I won't have much free time because of course I booked things like my midwife checkup and 32 week ultrasound during this time, as well as some other meetings. Luckily I had the wherewithal to reschedule my pregnancy massage that was supposed to be tomorrow to Friday before they called me to say, "nevermind, we're closed!" So I'm still getting that massage!
I would also agree that a baby shower trumps a birthday at pretty much any age, especially an adult age like 23. Who celebrates their 23rd birthday?!
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
Example #1. I bought 1 lemon, 1 lime, and 2 bananas, along with packaged precut fresh pineapple and watermelon. One bag? Nope. Spread over 5 bags. And the bananas were in 2 different bags!!
Example #2. A package of deli cheese, a bag of snack cheese, and a small container of dip. Three different bags.
Example #3. Two boxes of frozen fish, 2 bags of frozen foods, and 4 boxes of frozen meals. All spread out and intermixed with things like pasta, my bread, and something produce.
Example #4. I had five canned items, plus a couple bottled items. Two different bags, intermixed with some meats and pantry.
ALSO! Why you no use the two heavy duty woven bags for all the milk (3 half-gallon cartons, 1 gallon jug) and cream (half-gallon carton)? He split them up into my flimsy nylon bags and packed my good bags with lightweight items. DUDE WTF?!?
Put the fridge stuff together. Put the frozen stuff together. Put the produce stuff together. Meats. Cans and bottles. Shelf-stable pantry packages. Softs and squishables. Chemical Industrial. That way we can drop bags where that stuff will go instead of having to unpack every bag in the counter looking for the perishables first.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
@kat81 My MIL says that she was obviously being bitter for trying to ruin it for me. I mean who plans a daytime birthday party for a 23 year old ?? lol
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
I organize things as they go in the cart so like items will be together when pulled out and placed on the belt AND THEN BAGGED TOGETHER!
And amen to loading the canvas bags with the heavy stuff. Fewer trips!
Also if you put meat and produce in the same bag I want to slap you. That is gross.
May '17 labor memes
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry