@dmontgo so many hugs... glad you're seeing someone early on and that the prognosis looks bright. It can be such an isolating thing and know that there are lots of us here who completely get it. I had to do a phsych consult in the hospital before I was discharged because of the spike in anxiety before we left.. I struggled with serious PPA after DD1 was born but never saw anyone. I found so much solace in some of the stories of the mom's in my M14 BMB and the ability to PM/text them any time day or night when these crazy thoughts would creep into my mind and keep me up all night nearly hysterical.
Thinking of both you and your H as you work through all of this and seriously, never hesitate to reach out❤
@Christinaruth74 I wish someone told me how utterly terrifying it can be. Was not prepared for that. I guess I assumed all depression is the same, but definitely not. What helped you cope until it was over and your hormones went back to normal?
@dmontgo LOLz @ "back to normal"... anxious is my normal typically but PP hormones on top of pre-existing anxiety was brutal. It took me about a year to get through it. For me there were lots of irrational intrusive thoughts involved that made me think I was some sort of morbid monster of a mom. Being transparent helped a ton, so being vocal to my H and with friends who I knew had BTDT. I never saw anyone professionally which is likely why it took me so long to recover... this time around they gave me all the tools and info I needed to get set up with a professional so we can recognize and work through whatever might be going on earlier than last time. With DD1 i had a hard time with the lack of control I had during her L&D experience that I went a little control-crazy afterward. I wouldn't even let my H change her diaper without me hovering behind him.. I didn't leave her alone with anyone for an embarrassingly long time and the first time I did we needed to go home early because I was panicking.
I noticed from your IG that you blog.. that was/is another huge healing outlet for me. Just getting the words out and then hearing from other friends or strangers who have been there or who just appreciate seeing that kind of honesty... this village that it takes to raise kids is so much bigger than we realize!
I had some PPD but that struck a bit later. For that my H and i met with someone to talk through what I was feeling and what I needed/how he could be a good support during that time.
And the PTSD ... ugh. That didn't rear its head until third tri of this last pregnancy. But I had to acknowledge it for what it was and be honest with my Drs and nurses and know when I needed help (medication).
It all just takes time... but it sounds like you guys are already on the right track. Just keep being honest with yourself, your H, your Drs and your village. As crazy as it sounds, just having a professional put a name to what your feeling and validating what's going on in your mind right now can be really refreshing and relieving. You guys will get through this❤
@Christinaruth74 Thank you so much. The irrational morbid thoughts are the hardest. I'm working on a blog post to reach out to others so they know they are not alone. More transparency needs to happen with these experiences!
@dmontgo I have pretty severe depression and went off my meds during pregnancy. I've really struggled since DD was born and went back on my (breastfeeding safe) anti-depressants after 2 weeks, but I know it takes 2 week before they are fully on board. Yesterday was very bad for me, but I made it out of the house today and feel better. Take things one day at a time and you'll make it through. If you can find someone that had PPD with a past pregnancy and talk with them, it might help too. I have a good friend that I talk to about it and it really helps me!
@dmontgo I'd say sorry, but instead I say I'm happy to read your update. Not because of the circumstance, but because today you took the first step towards healing. I had PPA with DS1, though not super severe. I wanted to lend an ear to the PTSD related item, as I'm happy to be a support for you should you want/need me. I know that what I went through changed me, as It has you, and will continue to. As my therapist said to me a few months ago... let's get through this minute, let's get through today, then tomorrow. Once we are okay with those, we can tackle yesterday. This may be sound advice for you... tackle right now, tackle today. Don't take on the burden of the past just yet. Let the dust settle first. Hugs my friend.
@dmontgo I just want to echo what these other wonderful ladies have said. I had ptsd after DD1, it was terrible. And it took me a long time to recognize and work my way through it. I think I was depressed too, but too proud to admit it. I was young and didn't seek help other than talking with family/friends. Unfortunately, I was really good at isolating myself at the time because we had moved out of state a few months before having her. When I was isolated was when the ptsd was at its worst. It sounds like you are doing the right things in talking, blogging, and recognizing what is wrong and taking the steps to recovery. Also, keep talking to your DH, it seems like he is very supportive and there for you form what you've shared. That makes a world of difference. We are here for you also, even though we are just creepy internet friends
And speaking of creepy internet friends-
@jptrumptone I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling too. I would love to meet up with you if you are willing. I start nannying next month, so I've got a few weeks of SAHM left if you'd like to grab a coffee or something. Send me a message if you are interested, having mom friends can be amazing.
@jptrumptone I am sorry you are struggling with depression; it can feel so lonely! I don't know anyone IRL that has experienced PPD, so they don't know what to say or do. Hell, I don't even know what to say most of the time. I have told people about it (so I don't suffer in silence), but it seems like people assume you get over it quickly and I feel like a burden. Yet, no one has said as such, so it is likely me just being anxious. Anyway...I feel you.
@DiFazette@yellingbanana Thank you for this. What I didn't know about PTSD was you can still be high functioning but still suffer from it. I'm not crippled by it...I still get dressed and take care of myself...but that's where it gets dangerous because it's easy to say, "Look, I'm fine!" It was a wake up call when my therapist said from an outside perspective, I'm not doing as well as I've tricked myself into believing---a lot of white-knuckling emotionally to get through the day. I appreciated the honesty....because of my childhood it's easy for me to bury feelings deep down until they break me. I'm happy that we avoided it this time. She also said it's time tongive myself permission to cry. That was a big relief for me too.
Right now I've been focusing on a healthy diet, skin to skin with Ashton, hobbies I enjoy, exercise, and sex. Also still taking my meds. Looking forward to being my old self again and super sassy.
@dmontgo - hugs. I'm so happy to hear you're getting the support that you need and that fits. I hope things gradually improve and I trust they will. I'm also so happy for Ashton as I know that you and your husband taking these important steps for yourselves are examples of why you guys are such great parents and will continue to be for him
I missed seeing all of your LO's pictures this week (in a non-creepy way ). Would anyone be interested in starting a thread where we can post random pictures of our growing babies?
****Siggy TW**** natural pregnancy: 2008 Me: 28 (Hypothyroid), DH: 35 Together since: 2010 Married: 2013 TTC: 2013 Infertility: severe MFI, low AMH (0.5) Met RE: January 2016 ER: 3/14 (4 follies, 6 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized) fresh 3dt of 2 embryos= BFP (1 implanted) EDD w/ baby boy= 12/6/16
@slartybartfast I'm there with you. The first few weeks I felt like I smelled even as I stepped out of the shower. DH said it wasn't as bad as I thought. Now at 5w it's better but I still smell it. Just not all the dang time.
Add me to the smelly club, but I've inadvertently turned even more crunchy by forgetting deodorant every day.. I'm in too deep to go back now. And then there's just the perma-stink of milk. #sexyandiknowit
I smell. I smell so much. Is it a post-partum thing? WTF. I didn't used to smell.
I'm definitely in the smelly club too. I've been doing everything like normal but the pp sweats get the better of me. DH is sweet though, he says I'm crazy and that I smell great. But he's also going on 7 weeks without getting any action, so I'm like a lone zebra and he is the hungry lion.
My DH also informed me that he doesn't smell me if that makes me feel any better. I told him when he stinks I have to suffer his smell and it's an injustice that he doesn't suffer mine now. JK. But seriously. I shower in the morning and at night now cos I can't stand it.
1. I'm in the smelly club. So so gross. Sometimes I change my clothes twice a day bc of it.
2. Not sure what thread to ask this in so I'm putting it here... does anyone have a Graco Snugride 40 infant seat?? I had a Graco 35 with my other two kiddos and loved it. It expired so we had to buy new this time. Got the 40 bc it was on sale. It is AWFUL!!! The straps are SO hard to tighten and the main headrest isn't removable and it's way too small for Parker's big head. He won't be able to squish his head in by the time he's 4 months old.
I'm so regretting the purchase but can't return it bc BabiesRUs 90 day return policy. (We got it this past summer bc we knew we would need one and it was a good price) There's no way I really would've known how bad it was until we had a baby to put in it so I guess I can't beat myself up too bad, but I wanted to see if anyone else got this seat and what your experience has been.
1. I'm in the smelly club. So so gross. Sometimes I change my clothes twice a day bc of it.
2. Not sure what thread to ask this in so I'm putting it here... does anyone have a Graco Snugride 40 infant seat?? I had a Graco 35 with my other two kiddos and loved it. It expired so we had to buy new this time. Got the 40 bc it was on sale. It is AWFUL!!! The straps are SO hard to tighten and the main headrest isn't removable and it's way too small for Parker's big head. He won't be able to squish his head in by the time he's 4 months old.
I'm so regretting the purchase but can't return it bc BabiesRUs 90 day return policy. (We got it this past summer bc we knew we would need one and it was a good price) There's no way I really would've known how bad it was until we had a baby to put in it so I guess I can't beat myself up too bad, but I wanted to see if anyone else got this seat and what your experience has been. ETA: Parker cries in the seat every time he's in it so he must hate it as much as I do- must be uncomfortable for him... another reason to loathe the thing.
Are loose blankets considered safe in the car seat? It's not very cold where we live so I've just been putting a blanket over LO and tucking it tight around him (arms out). But I've always been in the back watching him so never had a concern. Now I'm ready to start venturing out solo and am thinking a loose blanket in the car seat is the same as in the crib? A big no no?
@tinattt23 I use a loose blanket in the car seat, but I just put it over his legs so that he can't get his hands under it to potentially pull it up over his face. At least I assume h can't do that... let's just say I triple check the blanket placement before we drive away.
I use loose blankets pretty freely except at night when I'm also asleep. Car rides do make me slightly paranoid bc I can't see him, definately going to get one of those mirrors so I glance at him in the car
I use loose blankets pretty much all the time except in the crib. We don't drive far and she hate the blanket touching her face and starts fussing even when asleep so I know when to move it.
@LandJ13 I need to get one of those mirrors. Give me some serious peace of mind.
But we made it! First solo outing. No blanket catastrophes. Went to see LO's great grandma. Gotta love old people baby advice. Need to put whiskey on his gums at night so he'll sleep. Thanks grandma...
Late to this thread, but I noticed the stank pretty much immediately after I gave birth. It's like my BO has changed with the hormones or something.
@dmontgo I'm so glad to hear you're getting help. How is your H doing in all this? Mine is struggling. He just got back from a stint in Afghanistan this October, and somehow he's wrapped the trauma that happened after my birth with what he saw over there and is experiencing some pretty hardcore PTSD. It's hard, because we're in Utah and away from the mental health resources on base, but he's finally figuring out how and where to get help.
As for me, I seem to be...okay. But maybe things just haven't sunk in yet, and maybe it's that my days are still a blur of activity. I'll keep watching myself.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@PensiveCrayon My DH is starting therapy soon for PTSD and depression as well. He isn't showing the same signs as me (for instance I have no appetite but he has been emotionally eating), and is coping better than I have been, but he is still struggling. I understand the war trauma--DH has been deployed and as a medic he has seen some gnarly things and I guess the birth was the straw that broke the camel's back. DH has never been to therapy so I'm really proud he is reaching out. I have therapy today and he is going with me.
As for me...I didn't realize something was wrong until a month after Ashton's birth. I think the adrenaline and being busy with Ash in the hospital overshadowed what was going on inside until he made it home and my body was like, "Ok we really need to process what happened, lady."
I began having nightmares nearly every night, intrusive and extremely morbid thoughts, irritability, wanting to run away from my family, extreme anxiety/paranoia about me/Ash/DH dying, not wanting to leave the house, flashbacks, etc.
You went and are going through a lot, so I would just keep an eye on it. You may not have the same symptoms, or may not get it at all...everyone is different. But even if you think you *may* have some symptoms, I would seek some help. I've been keeping up with your blog and thinking about you. Feel free to reach out any time!
I bought a silicone ring a few weeks ago. Way more comfy since I'm still swelling in the evenings. DH bought a matching one because he's gained weight and his real one is tight too lol.
My wedding ring is good, only because we had 2 kids before we got married! So my fingers had already grown.
But now my 5 year old is barfing her brains out 24 hours after attending a birthday party at the YMCA. I'm just praying that the baby didn't catch it already.
I can't find my engagement ring... I put it on my night stand about a month ago and it vanished... Im so sad! I still have my wedding band, but it's quite small.
I can't find my engagement ring... I put it on my night stand about a month ago and it vanished... Im so sad! I still have my wedding band, but it's quite small.
I have very large areolas. I see these cutesy BFing pictures where you can't see a speck of nip... but when I BF it looks like my baby is motorboating a slab of balogna.
I have very large areolas. I see these cutesy BFing pictures where you can't see a speck of nip... but when I BF it looks like my baby is motorboating a slab of balogna.
Re: January Randoms
Thinking of both you and your H as you work through all of this and seriously, never hesitate to reach out❤
I noticed from your IG that you blog.. that was/is another huge healing outlet for me. Just getting the words out and then hearing from other friends or strangers who have been there or who just appreciate seeing that kind of honesty... this village that it takes to raise kids is so much bigger than we realize!
I had some PPD but that struck a bit later. For that my H and i met with someone to talk through what I was feeling and what I needed/how he could be a good support during that time.
And the PTSD ... ugh. That didn't rear its head until third tri of this last pregnancy. But I had to acknowledge it for what it was and be honest with my Drs and nurses and know when I needed help (medication).
It all just takes time... but it sounds like you guys are already on the right track. Just keep being honest with yourself, your H, your Drs and your village. As crazy as it sounds, just having a professional put a name to what your feeling and validating what's going on in your mind right now can be really refreshing and relieving. You guys will get through this❤
And speaking of creepy internet friends-
@jptrumptone I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling too. I would love to meet up with you if you are willing. I start nannying next month, so I've got a few weeks of SAHM left if you'd like to grab a coffee or something. Send me a message if you are interested, having mom friends can be amazing.
@DiFazette @yellingbanana Thank you for this. What I didn't know about PTSD was you can still be high functioning but still suffer from it. I'm not crippled by it...I still get dressed and take care of myself...but that's where it gets dangerous because it's easy to say, "Look, I'm fine!" It was a wake up call when my therapist said from an outside perspective, I'm not doing as well as I've tricked myself into believing---a lot of white-knuckling emotionally to get through the day. I appreciated the honesty....because of my childhood it's easy for me to bury feelings deep down until they break me. I'm happy that we avoided it this time. She also said it's time tongive myself permission to cry. That was a big relief for me too.
Right now I've been focusing on a healthy diet, skin to skin with Ashton, hobbies I enjoy, exercise, and sex. Also still taking my meds. Looking forward to being my old self again and super sassy.
natural pregnancy: 2008
Me: 28 (Hypothyroid), DH: 35
Together since: 2010
Married: 2013
TTC: 2013
Infertility: severe MFI, low AMH (0.5)
Met RE: January 2016
ER: 3/14 (4 follies, 6 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized)
fresh 3dt of 2 embryos= BFP (1 implanted)
EDD w/ baby boy= 12/6/16
2. Not sure what thread to ask this in so I'm putting it here... does anyone have a Graco Snugride 40 infant seat?? I had a Graco 35 with my other two kiddos and loved it. It expired so we had to buy new this time. Got the 40 bc it was on sale. It is AWFUL!!! The straps are SO hard to tighten and the main headrest isn't removable and it's way too small for Parker's big head. He won't be able to squish his head in by the time he's 4 months old.
I'm so regretting the purchase but can't return it bc BabiesRUs 90 day return policy. (We got it this past summer bc we knew we would need one and it was a good price) There's no way I really would've known how bad it was until we had a baby to put in it so I guess I can't beat myself up too bad, but I wanted to see if anyone else got this seat and what your experience has been.
2. Not sure what thread to ask this in so I'm putting it here... does anyone have a Graco Snugride 40 infant seat?? I had a Graco 35 with my other two kiddos and loved it. It expired so we had to buy new this time. Got the 40 bc it was on sale. It is AWFUL!!! The straps are SO hard to tighten and the main headrest isn't removable and it's way too small for Parker's big head. He won't be able to squish his head in by the time he's 4 months old.
I'm so regretting the purchase but can't return it bc BabiesRUs 90 day return policy. (We got it this past summer bc we knew we would need one and it was a good price) There's no way I really would've known how bad it was until we had a baby to put in it so I guess I can't beat myself up too bad, but I wanted to see if anyone else got this seat and what your experience has been.
ETA: Parker cries in the seat every time he's in it so he must hate it as much as I do- must be uncomfortable for him... another reason to loathe the thing.
DD- 11/2016
We're all wonderful smelly mama zebras
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
But we made it! First solo outing. No blanket catastrophes.
Jk. Wine, wine on these gums. Soon.
@dmontgo I'm so glad to hear you're getting help. How is your H doing in all this? Mine is struggling. He just got back from a stint in Afghanistan this October, and somehow he's wrapped the trauma that happened after my birth with what he saw over there and is experiencing some pretty hardcore PTSD. It's hard, because we're in Utah and away from the mental health resources on base, but he's finally figuring out how and where to get help.
As for me, I seem to be...okay. But maybe things just haven't sunk in yet, and maybe it's that my days are still a blur of activity. I'll keep watching myself.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
As for me...I didn't realize something was wrong until a month after Ashton's birth. I think the adrenaline and being busy with Ash in the hospital overshadowed what was going on inside until he made it home and my body was like, "Ok we really need to process what happened, lady."
I began having nightmares nearly every night, intrusive and extremely morbid thoughts, irritability, wanting to run away from my family, extreme anxiety/paranoia about me/Ash/DH dying, not wanting to leave the house, flashbacks, etc.
You went and are going through a lot, so I would just keep an eye on it. You may not have the same symptoms, or may not get it at all...everyone is different. But even if you think you *may* have some symptoms, I would seek some help. I've been keeping up with your blog and thinking about you. Feel free to reach out any time!
On the positive side, I got my wedding ring on today! It's the little things..
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
But now my 5 year old is barfing her brains out 24 hours after attending a birthday party at the YMCA. I'm just praying that the baby didn't catch it already.
Due December 27th with baby #7