Updated - FX for everyone still in the TWW, and all of us really - those with BFPs and those with BFNs about to move on to the next:
@megs4484 - I'm sorry. Sending big hugs your way - I may see you on the Feb IUI thread.
@PoeMasque - thanks - haha. I'm always worried that I write way, way too much. Or that I use the wrong words, or whatever.
But also, sorry re: the BFN. Bah! Sending big hugs and virtual bottles of wine your way.
If it makes you feel any better (I'm not even joking), I'd signed DH and I up for a marriage preparation class before he'd even proposed. Basically, I'd planned our entire wedding while he was still processing the idea: "Wow, marriage. That's for adults." (Ahem! Speaking of slow movers! I'm an eldest child, and he's a youngest. In our case, it shows.)
The very first class, during the introductions, we had to go around and tell our proposal stories... and we didn't have one. I was like: "He hasn't, actually, proposed yet." Super awkward. Especially because our turn was right after this one girl was telling us how she was so surprised by her fiance's public vineyard proposal. "We were on holiday doing a vineyard tour, and suddenly there were fireworks and candles and he'd planned the whole thing in secret! I had no idea."
I wanted to crawl under a rock. I was so mad in the car after! Like: "Enough of your dithering, this is ridiculous, I'm so embarrassed. It looks like I clubbed you over the head and dragged you to the church!" His overdue proposal was a sore spot between us for a while, but our wedding was really fun, and I figure that's marriage - taking the whole package. He's a slow mover, but he has so many other good qualities. We even joke about it now, about how if I didn't give him a timeline, he'd never get anything done. For real - I know there are some guys who plan secret vineyard proposals, but I'm not married to one. I'm married to a nice guy who loves me, and is (in some ways) smart and hard-working, but who I have to be very clear with: if I don't ask, he's not going to give it to me. Even stuff that I think I shouldn't have to ask for, I have to ask for. Makes me so crazy!
@Cinnamonn - I hear you on the work thing. Though I think it's less that I can't concentrate, and more that the IF is affecting my motivation. That, and I keep saving my vacation in case I need it for treatments. It's been a LONG time since I had a solid week off, and I think I'm dealing with some low-grade burnout.
I have an uphill battle with my SO on moving to IVF right away (BC for the month of Feb, IVF in march). I'm tired of this journey. I'm also tired of delaying my life for him. When we started TTC in Nov of 2015 he insisted that we get married, so I said "fine, put a ring on my finger". He's a slow mover so I didn't expect a proposal right away, but figured by now.....anyway, I'm done letting him dictate our timeline, he will have to be the one to adjust this time. (Definitely feeling the PMS grumpiness right now!)
I feel like I relate to this quite a bit. We aren't married, and he's always felt like he definitely wanted to be married before having kids. Well, here we are 13 months into TTC and it's not happening - I refuse to just stop and try nothing until we get married. I don't want to rush our wedding either, we have a lot going on already with buying and selling houses. He proposed in November, but I told him I really didn't think we could reasonably have a wedding until 2018 and keep our sanity too. So, he's just going to have to deal with sinful procreation, if we're that lucky.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@Cinnamonn , @Momifbysea - This is the worst! HOW do you concentrate on, you know, the rest of life? Now that we've moved on to seeing the RE, trying the IUI - it's all I can think about. And nobody knows we're doing this, so there's really nobody to talk to.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@funkykey I hear you on the burnout. All of my PTO is currently being used for visits to my not-at-all-close RE and little 6's doctor and hospital visits. I'm not sure if anyone else is dealing with secondary infertility, but I feel pulled in a thousand directions. Mr. 6 is not a healthy kid, he's hospitalized a lot, and has fairly minor but fairly constant (every couple of months) inpatient procedures. He's having two in February, and all I can think is that if I am planning a Feb IUI, how will I get everything done while also being inpatient with him?
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
Ugh, now im completely confused! My spotting last night and this morning was only when I wiped (pink, then brown), normally I have cramps, spotting, then flow...all within about 4 hours, but since 7am this morning my cramps are completely gone and no spotting. Has anyone had this happen on clomid? My boobs don't hurt anymore and BFN yesterday with FMU, so still highly unlikely I'm KU, just worried this is now going to delay moving forward and the nurse from the clinic is taking her sweet time calling me back
Me: 39 SO: 36
Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"
TTC#1 since November 2015 9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN 10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN 1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018 May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
Currently in the TWW post-IUI #2. I've been reading through the last two pages and relate so much to what everyone has been saying.
@PoeMasque - sorry for AF dragging on showing up! That is weird and of course makes it hard to even know when is CD1. I've had a couple of those slow start and stop periods. Dunno if it's because we're paying so much closer attention to our periods now so we're noticing flow wax and wane, or whether it means something is up. Assuming the BFN was right, hope your AF comes on full force.
I totally relate on the difficulties concentrating at work. There have been certain weeks, months even, when I'm not able to concentrate or stay motivated.
@pawcall, @PoeMasque - it frustrates me when men drag their feet on marriage. All the research shows that men are in fact the primary beneficiaries of marriage, from a health and lifespan perspective. Good for both of you on proceeding anyhow.
I have also been pretty frustrated with my DH. He absolutely DOES NOT want to hear me talk about infertility, TTC, or whatever. I definitely get that I have been anxious and overly fixated on infertility, and that's annoying, but I feel like I can't really turn to him for much support.
He is also in near-complete denial that we are having issues. He thinks treatment works right away for most people, and thus we have nothing to worry about.
He also has done nothing in terms of researching infertility, thinking about doctors and treatment options, etc, even though he is in the health care field. His contribution is limited to ****ing off into a cup every couple months.
On the other hand, he's the one who wants kids even more than me. I periodically ask him, "it's ok if we don't have kids, right?" seeking a reassuring answer such as 'sure, we can have a great life no matter what'. Instead he gets annoyed and says "you know I want kids".
I've spoken to a few people about this, and they say this is a 'very typical male reaction' and that he is clinging to optimism and denial as his main coping strategies. He is of course an otherwise loving, wonderful guy, but IF is definitely straining the relationship, and the only thing I can do is play along with the denial. Frustrating...
Me - 35 (DH - 33). TTC since May 2015. Saw RE in July 2016. 11/16: IUI #1= BFN. 1/17: IUI #2 = BFN. 5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B. 8/17: FET #1. Thus far - 'unexplained'.
@pawcall and @funkykey - I was just re-reading your posts and realizing how similar our partners sound in their blind optimism... like, no way it's not gonna work!! Such a disconnect, it's amazing.
Me - 35 (DH - 33). TTC since May 2015. Saw RE in July 2016. 11/16: IUI #1= BFN. 1/17: IUI #2 = BFN. 5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B. 8/17: FET #1. Thus far - 'unexplained'.
@PoeMasque - I hope the nurse has some insight. There is absolutely nothing worse than knowing you're out and waiting to try again.
@notamyrtle - I'm sorry things have been rough. My FI is pretty solidly in denial too, but it's a weird denial. Like, he gets that it's not happening on our own, but he's 1000% positive this one IUI is all it will take.
It baffles me that he's not thinking about this 24/7, it just makes me feel like I'm a crazy person. But really, I'm the one constantly driving to the RE, I'm the one that's a pincushion, I'm the one overanalyzing every symptom (why do my boobs hurt so much!?) and I'm the one reminding myself constantly that none of it means anything (because duh, my boobs always hurt a weekish post-O).
I'm halfway jealous that he's not so consumed with this, but the other half, furious that I feel totally on my own.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@notamyrtle - UGH. The worst. I dunno if your DH is like mine, but there was about an hour where my DH acted like ****ing off into a cup was a huge sacrifice for him, conveniently forgetting his entire college experience. This was my reaction:
You guys, I am trying not to get too into this convo. One of my favourite things to do with my best friend is try to figure out what makes our husbands tick... When DH and I have giant fights, usually my best friend and I will spend hours unpacking those fights. And then we will talk about how weird it is that men don't do the same... Which of course, may not be true for all men, but certainly is for our DHes.
Needless to say, I could complain about my husband on the internet all night. I actually just cropped about 3 paragraphs out of this post, detailing our fights and his past denial. I love him; he also makes me f*cking crazy. I have never spoken as harshly to anyone as I have to DH. @notamyrtle kudos to you for playing along with the denial and not flatly saying: "You're in denial, m*therf*cker!" every night when he gets home, like this:
I know we're probably all in the same boat in that we love our husbands, etc etc., but my God, sometimes I am so looking forward to when we've been together for 20 years and he is totally trained!
ps. I don't want to eat pineapple anymore. Feel like I have eaten so much of it - a whole pineapple = a lot of pineapple.
*For real I could talk about him all night. In a loving, supportive way, but actually.... He is the cutest, but also stubborn as a mule, and we had some serious, blood-curdling fights to get here. Even him appreciating all of the work I'm doing with our IF, we've fought about. He acts so belabored sometimes, like this has been so, so difficult for him, supporting me through this. And I'm like: "Bitch, please."
I have some friends who (basically) have never fought with their husbands, and then I realize: it's because nothing bad has ever happened to them, and they've never disagreed in a material way. Their biggest fight was where to seat Uncle Joe at their wedding. (!) One friend even said to me: "You know, I didn't really understand when you and your DH fought during your [over-budget emergency renovation where DH almost spent an extra $2000 on relocating the furnace], but now that we're looking at buying our first home, I see how things could get stressful."
I wanted to be like: "Oh man, you have NO IDEA what is gonna happen when the going gets tough."
OK so really, how long do you guys wait before testing? At my IUI last weekend, they told me to wait two weeks, so 2/11. 14DPO. Today, I had my progesterone check (no results yet) and she told me to test on 2/13. 16DPO? Crazy. My periods are pretty regular, I'll probably be on like CD2 by then. (ETA - obviously I realize that if this is the case, I wouldn't be testing.)
I have a pile of wondfos so I'm sure there's no way in heck I'm waiting until even 14DPO. ********TW******** I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from testing every day once I hit the point that I got a super early BFP 7 years ago (8DPO). Even though I know it's ridiculous and I should just wait. ********end TW********
Soooo, when do you start testing?
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
omg i can so relate to all the DH talk. I feel like i'm over here going bsc every day and he's all 'just try to relax, it'll happen' and it makes me want to strangle him. i guess it's good because i need someone that brings me back down to earth but I feel like I'm doing all the sacrificing and worrying and he is all mopey about ****ing in a cup. like dude, stop it, you've done this a million times, sack up! literally!
@pawcall I am going through secondary infertility TW** i have a 2 year old and had an ectopic pregnancy last january. I got pregnant both times right away and now it seems nothing it working and we don't have any real reason aside from minor pcos, which is debatable. SO FRUSTRATING!!! I'm sorry to hear about your son's ailments, that must be so hard as far as testing, I usually start at 10dpo but seeing the negatives really gets me down. every month I try to hold out but can't do it.
TW*** Child and loss mentioned Married 10/12 DS 11/14 Ectopic 2/16 PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16 IUI x 3- BFN Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos FET- 6/17- BFP! Due Feb 15, 2017
@pawcall if you did a trigger and have not tested it out I would be very cautious about testing early as the trigger can stay in your system for up to 12-13 days. My last RE wanted me to wait till 16dpIUI but I always tested at 14dpIUI. GL
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@pawcall I'm going to wait for the 14 days, so will test 2/7. I think I'm scared of testing too early and seeing a bfn.
My RE called with my progesterone results today and it was 24. He said anything over 10 was good, so I'm feeling optimistic; however, I have no symptoms whatsoever and don't want to get my hopes up only to be let down once again. This wait is killing me though!
AFM, AF came full force early this morning and my SO agreed to IVF as a next step (not without some tears on my end and some "raised voices" from both parties). I'm worried that if it doesn't work he will blame me for pushing for it, but I'm optimistic this will work. I've already got my calendar and start BCP on Sunday, so I'll be moving over to the IVF side, keeping my FX for more BFPs on the board and will keep lurking
Me: 39 SO: 36
Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"
TTC#1 since November 2015 9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN 10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN 1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018 May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
@funkykey Honestly, I think that whoever does not fight with their husbands don't have pure feelings. We fight but obviously love each other so I think thats totally normal, specially with our "condition". PS thanks for updating the chart
@notamyrtle My H denies we have any problems at all, He does not want to discuss IF with me! Even when I ask him to GD more than usual when I O he gets frustrated. He is totally convinced we will get pregnant "tomorrow" beacause "everyone eventually does" so "stop stressing"
@pawcall I personally will test at 14dpo only because I don't want to get BFN and be sad longer.
@PoeMasque I just want to say that you are a strong woman, IVF is not an easy decision. Why did your H not want to move on with it? I wish you best of luck!
AFM: Just like last IUI cycle I feel cramping, I'm bloated I eat a lot more and sometimes Im nauseous. All signs of pregnancy! but guess what, this time Im not going to get fooled and rase my expectations like last time. Im going to stay realistic. What signs do you have? How do you feel?
Me: 30 DH: 38 TTC since Fall 2015 Unexplained 1st IUI - Dec 31 2016 - BFN 2nd IUI - Jan 28 2017 - BFN 3rd IUI - Mar 2017 - BFN IVF - May 1st FET - Jun 2017 -Cancelled 2nd FET - Aug 31 2017-Transferred 2 Sprinkles BFP with one bean!
@funkykey OMG, that is a hilarious post. I was laughing out loud reading it and need to save it somehow. LOVE the gifs from the Arrested Development mom and Oprah. No need to delete those paragraphs about his denial!! That's what this place is for...
Yeah, DH had his share of criticism about doing his part in the RE's office. Complains that the room is gross and creepy. Ok, understandable, but I'm not exactly dripping with sympathy here.
@PoeMasque good for you for pushing for IVF! @Momifbysea agree with waiting the full 14 days...
Me - 35 (DH - 33). TTC since May 2015. Saw RE in July 2016. 11/16: IUI #1= BFN. 1/17: IUI #2 = BFN. 5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B. 8/17: FET #1. Thus far - 'unexplained'.
Well, AF showed last night (3 days after I stopped the progesterone). I have been an unapologetic emotional mess the last two days, but now that AF is here I'm ready to move on...again. DH and I have had many conversations about next steps and have agreed to try IUI again for this new cycle. Our doctor will try up to three cycles before considering IVF.
Trying to look for the positive in this journey, but right now I feel like IUI is a scam. How is it 2017 and we can't increase the success rate from 15-20% to 100%?!?
I know what you mean re treatments and having low success rates - it's just that they have so much to learn though. I really hope that by 2037 IF couples won't have to go through all of this.
Its such a mind game. 8dpo today and I'm starving all the time, and my boobs are so sore that I can't even put on a bra. I sent FI on an emergency trip to Walmart for pizza rolls, donuts, and a candy bar.
I'm not fooled though. Hello, PMS
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
You guys, this TWW drags. 7dpo today, and I am not loving that I won't know for another week. I am for sure symptom watching though - earlier when we were driving on a windy road, I felt nauseous and DH and I were both excited, even though it was probably just car sickness. (When I take a prenatal vitamin without food, I feel nauseous too - that fooled me around month 4 of trying.)
FX for everyone who is finding out this week!
@PoeMasque that sounds like a good plan. I was really hoping for you this cycle, and I'm sad it didn't work out - sending big hugs your way - but I'm also happy for you that you are moving forward. I am optimistic it will work out too, keeping FX for you!
When I read your update, it reminded me of that quote: "Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther."
13DPO here...anyone else find themselves making themselves crazy by running nervously to the restroom like HOURLY at work when this close to testing day? AAAAAAACCCCKKKK!!!
Hey ladies!!! Wishing everyone baby dust! Just wanted to check in. I'm 8dpo. I felt like I had some symptoms this weekend but that could be AF trying to show up. She is scheduled to pay me a visit tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing some BFP's!
@megs4484 You know, we are lucky to have even that %. I can't imagine how women were coping with IF hundreds of years ago, when that was their only purpose.
@pawcall I heard sore bbs is a really good sign, FX!
AFM: I will be testing this Sunday and I don't want it to come. I've lost my hope and the last thing I need now is to be upset again over another failure... My DH is not helpful either, doctor suggested we come second time for same IUI cycle (because he did not time it right and did the IUI a day before O) but I refused. And now my H is blaming me and saying "It would have worked" If we did. Uh,I want this to be over.
Me: 30 DH: 38 TTC since Fall 2015 Unexplained 1st IUI - Dec 31 2016 - BFN 2nd IUI - Jan 28 2017 - BFN 3rd IUI - Mar 2017 - BFN IVF - May 1st FET - Jun 2017 -Cancelled 2nd FET - Aug 31 2017-Transferred 2 Sprinkles BFP with one bean!
@Cinnamonn I'm sorry to hear that and it's so easy to second guess things after the fact but wouldn't it be better if it was early than late since the sperm survive several days? I will continue to hope for you!
AFM, today is 14DPO and I tested a BFN this morning. I am starting to feel jinxed. No AF yet, just small amount of pink on Saturday but then almost nothing. I will say I hold out a little hope, because I normally get AF on 17DPO but our RE said with the Femara it should make me have a 14 day luteal phase. I'm not sure I believe him - the Femara affects the front end but how would it control luteal phase length? So in any other month I'd be expecting AF Friday...trying to keep a little flicker of hope here but mentally preparing for February IUI.
@Cinnamonn - sounds stressful, I'm sorry. I am keeping my FX for you that you get a BFP, but I know what it's like to lose hope. It's the worst. That said, if you do get a BFN, it's definitely not because you went in a day early for the IUI. IF is a beast, it can make the most sane paranoid.
@Momifbysea - FX for you, but also sorry re: the BFN. Grr.
@funkykey Heh, I just came here to post my update.
Sadly, it's an official BFN. I took a test, and also had some spotting. AF is doing that annoying thing where she has a slow start.
I wasn't really expecting it work, but it still hurts. We had at least two follies, maybe more. I'm just like, what the heck is wrong?? It's so mysterious.
I actually met with the RE a week ago, and we are planning to move onto IVF this spring. Part of me feels a bit more hopeful, another part of me is afraid to hope. It's that eternal dance.
She also wants me to get an endometrial biopsy next cycle, for what I believe are kind of flimsy reasons (one slightly low lining measurement - but we know how hastily they do those ultrasound measurements!). But I'm going along with it.
@megs4484 : yeah, it's quite striking that the IUI success rates are as low as they are. But over 3 cycles, that 8 - 15% could become 24 - 45%... not bad, actually. @Momifbysea : Sorry about the BFN.
Good luck to all those waiting to test!
Me - 35 (DH - 33). TTC since May 2015. Saw RE in July 2016. 11/16: IUI #1= BFN. 1/17: IUI #2 = BFN. 5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B. 8/17: FET #1. Thus far - 'unexplained'.
@notamyrtle@Momifbysea Girls, Im so sorry for your BFN.. I know how it feels. I ask myself the same question - why me? Life is very unfair and we have to take it as is, this is reality and we are doing our best. On the other hand we are lucky to live in the age where IF is almost "treatable" and the society doesn't press as much. My work also helps me a lot, I always think to myself that at least I'll build a career while my friends will be left with nothing after their children grow up.
Me: 30 DH: 38 TTC since Fall 2015 Unexplained 1st IUI - Dec 31 2016 - BFN 2nd IUI - Jan 28 2017 - BFN 3rd IUI - Mar 2017 - BFN IVF - May 1st FET - Jun 2017 -Cancelled 2nd FET - Aug 31 2017-Transferred 2 Sprinkles BFP with one bean!
Still in - 11dpo today and I just... I don't know, I woke up feeling overwhelmingly like I'd already know by now. I just can't shake this feeling of, I'm not even sure what to call it, dread?
FI is still so hopeful and it's making me kind of furious. His boss knows what's going on (mine doesn't), and this week he told his boss that he "may need time off in October" - dude! A little premature, no???
@Momifbysea - still crossing my fingers for you, hoping for the best.
@notamyrtle - I'm so sorry for the BFN. I'm glad you have a good go-forward plan though. Will you keep trying IUI until IVF? Not sure exactly how the IVF process goes.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
Also, I'm sitting inpatient at the hospital today with little 6, which is not at all unusual but always makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing with all of this. Like I'm completely selfish for trying this, and even more selfish for being upset that it's not working.
***end TW***
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@notamyrtle my AF is doing the same thing. I've had a small amount of dark brown yesterday but nothing new. I'm kind of like, ok just get here already so we can move on to the next IUI! I feel cramps so I think AF is eminent. We are also moving to IVF after this next IUI cycle. I wanted to try 3 IUI's first but with our upcoming cross country move the timing won't work and we want to try while it's paid for with insurance!
Re: January IUI
@megs4484 - I'm sorry. Sending big hugs your way - I may see you on the Feb IUI thread.
@PoeMasque - thanks - haha. I'm always worried that I write way, way too much. Or that I use the wrong words, or whatever.
But also, sorry re: the BFN.
If it makes you feel any better (I'm not even joking), I'd signed DH and I up for a marriage preparation class before he'd even proposed. Basically, I'd planned our entire wedding while he was still processing the idea: "Wow, marriage. That's for adults." (Ahem! Speaking of slow movers! I'm an eldest child, and he's a youngest. In our case, it shows.)
The very first class, during the introductions, we had to go around and tell our proposal stories... and we didn't have one. I was like: "He hasn't, actually, proposed yet." Super awkward. Especially because our turn was right after this one girl was telling us how she was so surprised by her fiance's public vineyard proposal. "We were on holiday doing a vineyard tour, and suddenly there were fireworks and candles and he'd planned the whole thing in secret! I had no idea."
I wanted to crawl under a rock. I was so mad in the car after! Like: "Enough of your dithering, this is ridiculous, I'm so embarrassed. It looks like I clubbed you over the head and dragged you to the church!" His overdue proposal was a sore spot between us for a while, but our wedding was really fun, and I figure that's marriage - taking the whole package. He's a slow mover, but he has so many other good qualities. We even joke about it now, about how if I didn't give him a timeline, he'd never get anything done. For real - I know there are some guys who plan secret vineyard proposals, but I'm not married to one. I'm married to a nice guy who loves me, and is (in some ways) smart and hard-working, but who I have to be very clear with: if I don't ask, he's not going to give it to me. Even stuff that I think I shouldn't have to ask for, I have to ask for. Makes me so crazy!
@Cinnamonn - I hear you on the work thing. Though I think it's less that I can't concentrate, and more that the IF is affecting my motivation. That, and I keep saving my vacation in case I need it for treatments. It's been a LONG time since I had a solid week off, and I think I'm dealing with some low-grade burnout.
@PoeMasque Im so sorry! Infertility is ruining my life. Thank God for this forum!
Me: 34 DH: 33
Unexplained infertility
Married 11/12
TTC 4/13
IUI # 1 5/13 BFN
IUI # 2 6/13 BFP
DD born on 2/14
TTC 11/16
IUI #1 1/17 BFN
IUI #2 2/17.BFN
IUI #3 3/17....
I feel like I relate to this quite a bit. We aren't married, and he's always felt like he definitely wanted to be married before having kids. Well, here we are 13 months into TTC and it's not happening - I refuse to just stop and try nothing until we get married. I don't want to rush our wedding either, we have a lot going on already with buying and selling houses. He proposed in November, but I told him I really didn't think we could reasonably have a wedding until 2018 and keep our sanity too. So, he's just going to have to deal with sinful procreation, if we're that lucky.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
Currently in the TWW post-IUI #2. I've been reading through the last two pages and relate so much to what everyone has been saying.
@PoeMasque - sorry for AF dragging on showing up! That is weird and of course makes it hard to even know when is CD1. I've had a couple of those slow start and stop periods. Dunno if it's because we're paying so much closer attention to our periods now so we're noticing flow wax and wane, or whether it means something is up. Assuming the BFN was right, hope your AF comes on full force.
I totally relate on the difficulties concentrating at work. There have been certain weeks, months even, when I'm not able to concentrate or stay motivated.
@pawcall, @PoeMasque - it frustrates me when men drag their feet on marriage. All the research shows that men are in fact the primary beneficiaries of marriage, from a health and lifespan perspective. Good for both of you on proceeding anyhow.
I have also been pretty frustrated with my DH. He absolutely DOES NOT want to hear me talk about infertility, TTC, or whatever. I definitely get that I have been anxious and overly fixated on infertility, and that's annoying, but I feel like I can't really turn to him for much support.
He is also in near-complete denial that we are having issues. He thinks treatment works right away for most people, and thus we have nothing to worry about.
He also has done nothing in terms of researching infertility, thinking about doctors and treatment options, etc, even though he is in the health care field. His contribution is limited to ****ing off into a cup every couple months.
On the other hand, he's the one who wants kids even more than me. I periodically ask him, "it's ok if we don't have kids, right?" seeking a reassuring answer such as 'sure, we can have a great life no matter what'. Instead he gets annoyed and says "you know I want kids".
I've spoken to a few people about this, and they say this is a 'very typical male reaction' and that he is clinging to optimism and denial as his main coping strategies. He is of course an otherwise loving, wonderful guy, but IF is definitely straining the relationship, and the only thing I can do is play along with the denial. Frustrating...
TTC since May 2015.
Saw RE in July 2016.
11/16: IUI #1= BFN.
1/17: IUI #2 = BFN.
5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B.
8/17: FET #1.
Thus far - 'unexplained'.
TTC since May 2015.
Saw RE in July 2016.
11/16: IUI #1= BFN.
1/17: IUI #2 = BFN.
5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B.
8/17: FET #1.
Thus far - 'unexplained'.
@notamyrtle - I'm sorry things have been rough. My FI is pretty solidly in denial too, but it's a weird denial. Like, he gets that it's not happening on our own, but he's 1000% positive this one IUI is all it will take.
It baffles me that he's not thinking about this 24/7, it just makes me feel like I'm a crazy person. But really, I'm the one constantly driving to the RE, I'm the one that's a pincushion, I'm the one overanalyzing every symptom (why do my boobs hurt so much!?) and I'm the one reminding myself constantly that none of it means anything (because duh, my boobs always hurt a weekish post-O).
I'm halfway jealous that he's not so consumed with this, but the other half, furious that I feel totally on my own.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
You guys, I am trying not to get too into this convo. One of my favourite things to do with my best friend is try to figure out what makes our husbands tick... When DH and I have giant fights, usually my best friend and I will spend hours unpacking those fights. And then we will talk about how weird it is that men don't do the same... Which of course, may not be true for all men, but certainly is for our DHes.
Needless to say, I could complain about my husband on the internet all night. I actually just cropped about 3 paragraphs out of this post, detailing our fights and his past denial. I love him; he also makes me f*cking crazy. I have never spoken as harshly to anyone as I have to DH. @notamyrtle kudos to you for playing along with the denial and not flatly saying: "You're in denial, m*therf*cker!" every night when he gets home, like this:
I know we're probably all in the same boat in that we love our husbands, etc etc., but my God, sometimes I am so looking forward to when we've been together for 20 years and he is totally trained!
ps. I don't want to eat pineapple anymore. Feel like I have eaten so much of it - a whole pineapple = a lot of pineapple.
I have some friends who (basically) have never fought with their husbands, and then I realize: it's because nothing bad has ever happened to them, and they've never disagreed in a material way. Their biggest fight was where to seat Uncle Joe at their wedding. (!) One friend even said to me: "You know, I didn't really understand when you and your DH fought during your [over-budget emergency renovation where DH almost spent an extra $2000 on relocating the furnace], but now that we're looking at buying our first home, I see how things could get stressful."
I wanted to be like: "Oh man, you have NO IDEA what is gonna happen when the going gets tough."
I have a pile of wondfos so I'm sure there's no way in heck I'm waiting until even 14DPO. ********TW******** I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from testing every day once I hit the point that I got a super early BFP 7 years ago (8DPO). Even though I know it's ridiculous and I should just wait. ********end TW********
Soooo, when do you start testing?
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
@pawcall I am going through secondary infertility TW** i have a 2 year old and had an ectopic pregnancy last january. I got pregnant both times right away and now it seems nothing it working and we don't have any real reason aside from minor pcos, which is debatable. SO FRUSTRATING!!! I'm sorry to hear about your son's ailments, that must be so hard
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
My RE called with my progesterone results today and it was 24. He said anything over 10 was good, so I'm feeling optimistic; however, I have no symptoms whatsoever and don't want to get my hopes up only to be let down once again. This wait is killing me though!
@Momifbysea yay! Great progesterone level
AFM, AF came full force early this morning and my SO agreed to IVF as a next step (not without some tears on my end and some "raised voices" from both parties). I'm worried that if it doesn't work he will blame me for pushing for it, but I'm optimistic this will work. I've already got my calendar and start BCP on Sunday, so I'll be moving over to the IVF side, keeping my FX for more BFPs on the board and will keep lurking
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
PS thanks for updating the chart
@notamyrtle My H denies we have any problems at all, He does not want to discuss IF with me! Even when I ask him to GD more than usual when I O he gets frustrated. He is totally convinced we will get pregnant "tomorrow" beacause "everyone eventually does" so "stop stressing"
@pawcall I personally will test at 14dpo only because I don't want to get BFN and be sad longer.
@PoeMasque I just want to say that you are a strong woman, IVF is not an easy decision. Why did your H not want to move on with it? I wish you best of luck!
AFM: Just like last IUI cycle I feel cramping, I'm bloated I eat a lot more and sometimes Im nauseous. All signs of pregnancy! but guess what, this time Im not going to get fooled and rase my expectations like last time. Im going to stay realistic. What signs do you have? How do you feel?
TTC since Fall 2015
Unexplained
1st IUI - Dec 31 2016 - BFN
2nd IUI - Jan 28 2017 - BFN
3rd IUI - Mar 2017 - BFN
IVF - May
1st FET - Jun 2017 -Cancelled
2nd FET - Aug 31 2017-Transferred 2 Sprinkles
BFP with one bean!
Yeah, DH had his share of criticism about doing his part in the RE's office. Complains that the room is gross and creepy. Ok, understandable, but I'm not exactly dripping with sympathy here.
@PoeMasque good for you for pushing for IVF!
@Momifbysea agree with waiting the full 14 days...
TTC since May 2015.
Saw RE in July 2016.
11/16: IUI #1= BFN.
1/17: IUI #2 = BFN.
5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B.
8/17: FET #1.
Thus far - 'unexplained'.
TTC since May 2015.
Saw RE in July 2016.
11/16: IUI #1= BFN.
1/17: IUI #2 = BFN.
5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B.
8/17: FET #1.
Thus far - 'unexplained'.
Trying to look for the positive in this journey, but right now I feel like IUI is a scam. How is it 2017 and we can't increase the success rate from 15-20% to 100%?!?
IUI #2 (Feb 2017) = TBD
Dx = MFI, Low Progesterone
I know what you mean re treatments and having low success rates - it's just that they have so much to learn though. I really hope that by 2037 IF couples won't have to go through all of this.
Its such a mind game. 8dpo today and I'm starving all the time, and my boobs are so sore that I can't even put on a bra. I sent FI on an emergency trip to Walmart for pizza rolls, donuts, and a candy bar.
I'm not fooled though. Hello, PMS
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
FX for everyone who is finding out this week!
@PoeMasque that sounds like a good plan. I was really hoping for you this cycle, and I'm sad it didn't work out - sending big hugs your way - but I'm also happy for you that you are moving forward. I am optimistic it will work out too, keeping FX for you!
When I read your update, it reminded me of that quote: "Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther."
Me: 34 DH: 33
Unexplained infertility
Married 11/12
TTC 4/13
IUI # 1 5/13 BFN
IUI # 2 6/13 BFP
DD born on 2/14
TTC 11/16
IUI #1 1/17 BFN
IUI #2 2/17.BFN
IUI #3 3/17....
@Momifbysea Good luck!!
@Londonsmom 8dpo and AF is supposed to come? Lucky you with your short cycle! Mine comes on the 18dpo, time drags
@funkykey When are you planning in testing?
@pawcall I heard sore bbs is a really good sign, FX!
AFM: I will be testing this Sunday and I don't want it to come. I've lost my hope and the last thing I need now is to be upset again over another failure... My DH is not helpful either, doctor suggested we come second time for same IUI cycle (because he did not time it right and did the IUI a day before O) but I refused. And now my H is blaming me and saying "It would have worked" If we did. Uh,I want this to be over.
TTC since Fall 2015
Unexplained
1st IUI - Dec 31 2016 - BFN
2nd IUI - Jan 28 2017 - BFN
3rd IUI - Mar 2017 - BFN
IVF - May
1st FET - Jun 2017 -Cancelled
2nd FET - Aug 31 2017-Transferred 2 Sprinkles
BFP with one bean!
AFM, today is 14DPO and I tested a BFN this morning. I am starting to feel jinxed. No AF yet, just small amount of pink on Saturday but then almost nothing. I will say I hold out a little hope, because I normally get AF on 17DPO but our RE said with the Femara it should make me have a 14 day luteal phase. I'm not sure I believe him - the Femara affects the front end but how would it control luteal phase length? So in any other month I'd be expecting AF Friday...trying to keep a little flicker of hope here but mentally preparing for February IUI.
@Momifbysea - FX for you, but also sorry re: the BFN. Grr.
@notamyrtle - any news?
AFM I am thinking of POAS this weekend, but my blood test is Feb 14.
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
Sadly, it's an official BFN. I took a test, and also had some spotting. AF is doing that annoying thing where she has a slow start.
I wasn't really expecting it work, but it still hurts. We had at least two follies, maybe more. I'm just like, what the heck is wrong?? It's so mysterious.
I actually met with the RE a week ago, and we are planning to move onto IVF this spring. Part of me feels a bit more hopeful, another part of me is afraid to hope. It's that eternal dance.
She also wants me to get an endometrial biopsy next cycle, for what I believe are kind of flimsy reasons (one slightly low lining measurement - but we know how hastily they do those ultrasound measurements!). But I'm going along with it.
@megs4484 : yeah, it's quite striking that the IUI success rates are as low as they are. But over 3 cycles, that 8 - 15% could become 24 - 45%... not bad, actually.
@Momifbysea : Sorry about the BFN.
Good luck to all those waiting to test!
TTC since May 2015.
Saw RE in July 2016.
11/16: IUI #1= BFN.
1/17: IUI #2 = BFN.
5/17: IVF #1. 'long lupron' protocol. E2 = 4800, 'freeze-all', 8R, 7M, 4F, 4B.
8/17: FET #1.
Thus far - 'unexplained'.
@pawcall @funkykey so is it just us?
TTC since Fall 2015
Unexplained
1st IUI - Dec 31 2016 - BFN
2nd IUI - Jan 28 2017 - BFN
3rd IUI - Mar 2017 - BFN
IVF - May
1st FET - Jun 2017 -Cancelled
2nd FET - Aug 31 2017-Transferred 2 Sprinkles
BFP with one bean!
hope it's ok if I lurk around and cheer you all on.
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
FI is still so hopeful and it's making me kind of furious. His boss knows what's going on (mine doesn't), and this week he told his boss that he "may need time off in October" - dude! A little premature, no???
@Momifbysea - still crossing my fingers for you, hoping for the best.
@notamyrtle - I'm so sorry for the BFN. I'm glad you have a good go-forward plan though. Will you keep trying IUI until IVF? Not sure exactly how the IVF process goes.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
Also, I'm sitting inpatient at the hospital today with little 6, which is not at all unusual but always makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing with all of this. Like I'm completely selfish for trying this, and even more selfish for being upset that it's not working.
***end TW***
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]