January IUI

bluejeanbabi05

@brooklyngirl18 of course, am I following her advice? Nope. I am planning on peeing on everything in sight tomorrow morning before my appt.

PoeMasque

@brooklyngirl18 you can absolutely have a longer LP on clomid. if you just can't stomach doing the beta, wait a week and do another HPT. 

funkykey

@brooklyngirl18 - the longer LP on clomid was exactly my issue last week!

If I'd just been testing once-a-day in the morning, I wouldn't have had a positive OPK until day 16! Because I was testing like every 5 hours, I had one on day 15 in the evening. Usually, I get them in the morning of day 13. Super, super stressful!

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you, and agree with pp - do what's best for your emotional well-being. 

@SugarHead - I hope you finish these IUI cycles soon. You mentioned writing a letter to your insurance - did that go anywhere? FX they get back to you and see how reasonable you're being. It sucks that they make you go through 6. 

Updated again - FX for everyone who finds out in the next few days!

pawcall

@brooklyngirl18 - I would go for the beta, but can totally understand why you might not want to.  Thinking of you!

notamyrtle

Just checking in here... I ended up triggering on Jan 24 and having the IUI on Jan 26th, which would be like my cycle day 12. I was surprised that they had me trigger so early. On a natural cycle I tend to ovulate around day 18 or 19 or later.

Congrats to the BFPs, and sorry about the BFNs. 

@brooklyngirl18 I think it's fair to skip if it's an inconvenience or upsetting. Interesting that they do beta on day 14 because I imagine a lot of folks have an LP exactly that long. My clinic does it on day 16.

Cinnamonn

@amanda_1182 1182 Im sorry it did not work this time, but your chances are growing and we are all going to get it, eventually!

@ZukiWife Congratulations!

@funkykey Did you do your IUI? I feel like were on the same schedule

@brooklyngirl18 I heard cases when girls got BFP on 15dpo, you still have a chance!

AFM,  I did my IUI on Jan 28th but I O'd only on Jan 29 (Sunday). Timing was not perfect but we BD'd on Sunday. This is getting really stressful and even BD doesn't bring the pleasure anymore, its like "you have to" and Its driving us both nuts. I just want this to be over.

brooklyngirl18

I decided not to go for the beta. My temp went way down this morning and I have pms cramps and headache. I told myself if my temp stayed up I'd go but with the temp drop there's no way I'm pregnant. off the cycle 3.

pawcall

@Cinnamonn - I did my IUI on the 28th too - FX!!!

Being my first IUI, I'm all confused on what should be happening.  They told me to call my doctor (it wasn't my doctor who did the IUI) on Monday and schedule some progesterone bw for Friday.  So I called, and the receptionist was like "did they give you an Rx for progesterone"?  Uhhh no, should they have!?  So they told me to come in Wednesday morning.  Then I got a call today saying Friday is more appropriate, which matches what the doc on Saturday said, but now I'm nervous that something is being missed.  Am I supposed to be taking something?  Ugh.

I really just want this to be over too.  And I realize I don't have much right to feel that way with IUI #1.  It's just hard, about a thousand times harder than when we were just trying ourselves.  My fiance is basically positive that it worked, I'm basically positive that it didn't, and that mismatch is making things more emotional and difficult.

Cinnamonn

@pawcall it's my second IUI and I am not scheduled for progesterone as I wasn't last time. I'm not even sure what it is for, to track implantation? Basically what they say is to test two weeks after for pregnancy and that's it.

oh and a lot of the times first IUI works, so let's hope it's your case!

laurad75

@pawcall FX that the IUI did the trick but statistically, it rarely does on the first try so I think you are right to be cautious with your optimism.  I do know women who got pregnant and gave birth after 1 IUI so it's not out of the realm of possibility.  My vote would be to stay positive for now. 

Regarding the confusion over your meds and appts...if there is one thing I have learned as a fertility patient, it is that you absolutely must advocate for yourself and make sure nothing is slipping through the cracks.  If that means multiple phone calls to reach a person who know exactly what your protocol is, make those phone calls until you have an answer.  If you are nervous that something is being missed, call back and ask to speak to nurse or whoever and tell them you are concerned.  Have them go over the plan with you and explain anything that you don't immediately understand.  If you hang up and suddenly you have another question, call back again.  It is too important that you are comfortable with the next steps.  

I am a very passive person and at the beginning of this journey I would just trust that whoever I was talking to was giving me all the information I needed and I should just do as I'm told and I would get pregnant.  That didn't work out for me so I found a balance of polite and aggressive to get answers and make sure I understood every step.  

pawcall

@laurad75 - This is really good advice.  This practice is a hot mess, for sure, I just really like my doctor so I'm hesitant to change.  But for god's sake, they ran my fiance's SA through his EX-WIFE'S insurance, which infuriates me since men are not patients there, they only exist within the woman's file.  So they found his ex's file from 12 years ago, pulled it, and thought it was appropriate to send off a SA to her insurance.

My trust in them?  Not high.

laurad75

@pawcall OMG I remember that story and I was so infuriated for you.  Hot mess is generous. 

I appreciate that you really like the doctor so you don't want to switch but you'll just have to work extra hard to make sure everyone is on the ball.  Do you have a nurse on your doctor's team that you can work with exclusively?  Maybe the next time you have an opportunity to sit down with the doctor you can explain your concerns and figure out the best way to exchange information to make sure nothing falls through the cracks.  

bluejeanbabi05

@Cinnamonn my clinic had me in a week after my trigger shot to test my progesterone and I really recommend insisting on it. It's not to track  implantation, it's 1) to ensure you ovulated and 2) to make sure your prog levels are high enough to support implantation when it happens. They had me come in at 5dpo so it was before any implantation would have happened. If my levels had been low, they would have put me on a prog supplement.

PoeMasque

@pawcall pp is correct, they usually test one week after O to confrim ovulation. If this is your first time on meds it's actually part of checking to see if they stimulated a "higher quality" O. 

AFM, I'm most likely out this cycle, I got antsy and POAS this morning (11DPO) and stark, white BFN. I know it's technically too early, but I also have zero symptoms, feel nothing, fairly certain nothing is breweing....just hoping AF arrives before the weekend (I'll be finishing out a 65 hour week with no days off, yay!!)

wabash15

Lurking from Feb IUI**
@pawcall some RE's will test your progesterone at 7dpo to ensure that your levels are high enough to support a pregnancy. That being said there is a great deal of mixed data out their as to weather progesterone supplementation helps at all, and most of the data shows that it does not make a difference.  IF your progesterone is very low than maybe supplementation will help otherwise not.  All of that being said some docs will do it anyways because it "doesn't hurt".  So I would not stress about not being on progesterone.  GL

pawcall

@laurad75 - I think you're right - if we're going to continue working with this office, we need to have a serious talk with someone.  FI tried to do that the last time we were both there (for my STP) but they directed him to talk to the person who's been screwing everything up.  It's just a bunch of little things that aren't so little to the person going through the treatment. 

Example - I scheduled my IUI before leaving the office last Friday.  She told me that all she had available for Saturday was 9:15am.  Great, sounds good.  About an hour after I left, I got a phone call from her saying that when she went to put the appt in, someone else had taken it.  Uhhhh, why didn't you put it in while I was STANDING RIGHT THERE? Then she was just dead silent, like she didn't know what else I wanted from her.  She seemed surprised that I expected her to find me another time on Saturday (which she ultimately did) - which floored me - obviously this is time sensitive!

At our consult, the doctor told me that from now on, I need to call and let them know anytime I get a period. So I did, which is what started us moving forward on this cycle's IUI.  Great, except that when I came in for the US to check my follicles, no one had noted anything on my chart about my having gotten a period, and the nurse was pretty stern about how important it is for me to do my part by giving them the information they need.  I OBVIOUSLY DID, I can't really control the fact that this one TERRIBLE employee up front doesn't do anything with the information she's given.

This week when I called (as instructed) to schedule whatever it is they want to do a week after IUI, she scheduled it for Wednesday (4 days after IUI) and then had to call back to reschedule for Friday.  Okay, fine.  On the phone this morning to let me know about the reschedule, she asked if I was supposed to see a doctor or just get blood drawn.  I was like "I'm kind of looking to your office to tell ME why you want to see me and when."  Am I being unreasonable, or are they just really disorganized? 

As I type this all out, it feels obvious to me that I should switch offices.  I guess I'm mostly just hesitant because I don't want to lose time.  Don't want to skip a cycle just because I'm switching docs.  And I truly do like my doc.

It's clear though that I need to have him talk to me very clearly and tell me the whole plan, not just the next step or two.  The office staff doesn't know and isn't checking, so when I call in, nobody has any idea what I'm supposed to be scheduling. 

londonsmom-2

New to the Bump! (child mentioned)
Hi ladies!! Just joined the bump and man am I happy to be here because i dont feel alone. I struggled with infertility for 2 years. did 2 IUI cylce's in 2013 and the 3rd one was successful, had a little girl. Now 3 years later I want to have another one. I had one IUI in December, BFN and took a month off and my second IUI was on 1/29. 

Congratulations to all the have BFP's and Good luck to us in the 2WW period.

Baby Dust my friends. 

PS. I hope I did that right!

pawcall

@bluejeanbabi05 @PoeMasque - Thanks for the insight on the progesterone check.  I"ll be doing it at 6dpo so it sounds like a reasonable timeframe to check.  I am not on meds, so I guess they just want to confirm that my body does what it needs to do on its own.  Last cycle, they tested at 9dpo and progesterone was at 10.4.  They didn't raise any concerns, so I'm hoping that means it was fine...

@wabash15 - are there any downsides or side effects to progesterone supplementation?

@PoeMasque - FX that it's just too early.  Intellectually, I know that 11dpo is still early, but it always feels to me that once I hit 10 or 11dpo, if I'm not turning it pink, it's a no go.  Part of this is probably that the only BFP I've gotten, ever, was so early (8dpo).

wabash15

@pawcall since progesterone mimics pregnancy you can get all of the early signs of pregnancy... bloating, sore breasts etc. also for some women you won't get your period while on it and your temps stay up so you need to test (but it can mess with your brain if you SS). Oh and if your doing the suppositories they are messy!! you will need a pantyliner.  

funkykey

@Cinnamonn - I did go in on the 29th.

@brooklyngirl18 - I'm so sorry. Sending lots of good vibes your way. Take care of yourself these next few days! (And always)

@pawcall - My H is also positive that our IUI worked. He's been pretty funny about it: "Not only did we pull the goalie, the goalie's been dead out back for ages, and now we're firehosing the net." He's convinced our issue is with either my cervix or cervical mucus, because I've noticed some inconsistencies there. But I keep thinking about all the possibilities - sure, it could be my unusually tough CM, but it could also be something with my eggs or at the cellular level, etc. Plus, even if it is with my CM, one time doesn't guarantee success... I am more hesitant than he is. There is so much uncertainty with the unexplained Dx!

What you said: "And I realize I don't have much right to feel that way with IUI #1." struck a chord with me; I've been thinking about that myself. I want to be KU-ed very badly, but I also know for a lot of us in this thread, things are going to get worse before they get better. Because I'm aware of how bad it could get - I cannot imagine what it would feel like to do a round of IVF and find out we had no embryos, or to have a 3rd or 4th failed transfer - part of me feels guilty, wanting our first IUI to succeed, as irrational as that may be. I want everyone's first IUI to succeed, despite the odds, so why not my own?

All of us on these boards are dealing with a very difficult situation. Others have said this better than me, but there's a reason these boards exist - because this is hard, and it helps to support each other. If I could spare the women dealing with their 3rd or 4th failed transfers, or multiple MCs a moment of the pain they've endured, I would. But I'd want to do the same for those who have had their hopes dashed after a first failed IUI - or even medicated cycle - too. This stuff is all hard, once you cross the "infertility" line.

I know life itself can be hard, and we all face challenges, but man... we're really putting ourselves out there. We're really throwing ourselves towards an uncertain future, giving it everything, one cycle after another. We're in the trenches right now, not in some abstract future. It's tough - and as much as I wish we didn't have to be here and didn't have to be doing any of this, I'm inspired by so many of these women for moving forward and for having done so much, in spite of the pain they've endured. You know what I mean? 

Also - your office sounds like a mess. Nothing remotely like that has happened at my clinic, FYI. Sounds like this is a stress you don't need. I mean, you need to take charge of your own health, like PP have said, but your clinic sounds shamefully disorganized.

When my progesterone is on the high side, in addition to the bloating & sore breasts, I also notice constipation. My sister said that's one thing she wishes people talked about more with pregnancy - she actually developed some anal fissures she was so constipated. (She's like: "It's not a joke.") Drink water!

@PoeMasque - dammit re: bfn. I am keeping FX for you. If it fails, are you moving onto IVF straight away, or are you going to try another clomid cycle? I can't remember. Has your plan changed since getting the low progesterone indication?

@Londonsmom - welcome, I did an IUI on the 1/29 too!

megstacholiii

@pawcall I was put on the progesterone suppositories because they knew I had problems with it in the past. We tried three clomid cycles a few years ago (no iui) and at 7dpo my number would drop below 10. For my IUI, I was instructed to start the suppositories 5 days after, 1 pill/day, then at 7dpiui I went in for a blood draw. The nurse said in my case, for the IUI cycle, I needed to be at 15 or higher. 

londonsmom-2

Thank you so much!! Baby Dust to us! When do you plan on testing? I heard I can test as early at 10dpo.

pawcall

@funkykey- This is such a good perspective.  I guess I've always just tried to minimize what was going on, like if I don't admit that it feels this bad, it's not really happening, there's not really a problem, maybe it really is just taking a little longer than it does for most.  Then I'm angry with myself for making myself feel like my hurt isn't valid. Nasty cycle.

The thing is, I WANT him to be excited.  I want him to be hopeful and happy and everything else that goes with it.  He's had a rough go of it, himself - he and his ex wife had 6 failed IUIs before giving up.  It was many years back, and he never really got to understand what the underlying dx was - he knew he had low morphology back then, but she also had fibroids and polyps and who knows what else.  She didn't let him come to doctor visits often, and she wasn't being forthcoming about what was said in those visits.  Bad situation all the way around, clearly.  So for him to open himself back up to this over a decade after he mentally accepted that he'd never be a father, it took a lot.  I just don't know how to encourage his excitement in a way that doesn't hurt me.

I think he feels really confident now because he's decided he knows what the problem was, and IUI should "fix" it.  He is a diabetic, still not under the absolute best control, and along with the diabetes has come ED.  We're able to have sex, but he doesn't get very hard and says he doesn't feel like it's going "very far".  So in his mind, IUI put it on the doorstep, what other problem could there be? 

Sorry, I'm rambling.  I don't have the words today, but @funkykey - your perspective is really helpful.

bluejeanbabi05

Hey ladies. Just got positive beta results from my RE. Love you all and fx for all of you

Momifbysea

Just back from getting my progesterone blood draw. I know it's supposed to be on day 21 but my IUI was day 12 since I always O before CD14 and this month had LH surge on CD11. I hope today (CD19) was the right timing for the progesterone check?

wabash15

@Momifbysea CD21 blood work is a misnomer. It should be 7dpo...

funkykey

@bluejeanbabi05 - am I reading this right? A go? Congratulations!!! Great news!

@pawcall - totally! Every time I get my hopes up, I worry they're going to be dashed. And then I beat myself up for getting excited at all. And then I beat myself up for beating myself up, right like you said - for making myself feel like my hurt isn't valid. It's all awful, all of it. And then you're going through all of this in your own mind, and your partner is going through his own thing, and they don't match up always, and sometimes you have words. Eating my pineapple last night, DH was giving me wry look, like: "have you ever even bought a pineapple before?", and I was like: "Don't start. I'm just trying to get through this week."

But I think all that is part of this experience - part of just trying to figure out what's happening, fix it, and get through with your marriage intact. I was going to say something about how I could see MFI coloring the experience, particularly if, in the past, you had a child with someone else, but then I thought your situation probably isn't that different from mine.

My DH and I, we struggle not just with the situation, but with how to be a "team" while going through it. Like, what are my expectations for my DH in terms of supporting me, how can I express my pain in a way that doesn't hurt him, etc. I get frustrated with him when I sense that he's not "taking it seriously", and he's like: "honey, I am doing everything I can"... Sometimes I have to stop and remember to tell him that I'm sad because it's taking us so long to have a baby, just to repeat that out loud. And to specify that I want very badly to have his child, our child - I don't want to have a baby with anyone else. When I think about it like that, it reminds me that in a way, what we're dealing with is very romantic. The things we do for love, you know?  

Anyway, I hope it works for you two! And soon! Sounds like your DH has been through a lot. Diabetes is a b*tch.

bluejeanbabi05

@funkykey yes thank you. I'm still in shock I think.

funkykey

@bluejeanbabi05- aaaaaahhhhhh! Awesome! I'd be in shock too!  congratulations!!

funkykey

@bluejeanbabi05- aaaaaahhhhhh! Awesome! I'd be in shock too!  congratulations!

Momifbysea

@bluejeanbabi05 great news!!! So happy for you!!!

@wabash15 thanks for the clarification so I know this timing was right! Relieved.

cmar1006

@bluejeanbabi05 yay!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!

Cinnamonn

@bluejeanbabi05 CONGRATULATIONS!
Oh thank you for explaining the progesterone thing I will call my clinic and ask them

@funkykey Well said, thank you. Its horrible what we go through, thanks to this forum we can stay together, no one else will ever understand. And hey, wishing you easy TWW

pawcall

bluejeanbabi05 said:

Hey ladies. Just got positive beta results from my RE. Love you all and fx for all of you

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!

brooklyngirl18

@bluejeanbabi05 congrats!!

megstacholiii

Beta today = BFN

Waiting for AF to show her ugly face so we can try again for IUI #2. Fx for everyone else still in for this month!

pawcall

I'm so sorry @megs4484

PoeMasque

@bluejeanbabi05 yay!!!! Congrats!! Did you POAS before your appt or was it a total surprise? 

@funkykey i love your posts, thank you for being so thoughtful. 

I had another BFN this morning (12dpo), AF cramping and some pink spotting when I got home from work, so I'm calling this cycle a bust. I will have a US on CD3 to check for cysts, if we are clear we do round 2 of clomid + IUI, if there's a cyst I have an uphill battle with my SO on moving to IVF right away (BC for the month of Feb, IVF in march). I'm tired of this journey. I'm also tired of delaying my life for him. When we started TTC in Nov of 2015 he insisted that we get married, so I said "fine, put a ring on my finger". He's a slow mover so I didn't expect a proposal right away, but figured by now.....anyway, I'm done letting him dictate our timeline, he will have to be the one to adjust this time. (Definitely feeling the PMS grumpiness right now!) 

Cinnamonn

@PoeMasque I'm sorry for what you are going through. I feel the same way, this infertility is ruining my life. We constantly fight with my H because we are both stressed and everyone is pressuring us, I now have troubles at work because I can't consentrate. I want this to be over too so I totally get why you would want to move forward with IVF. I think I'll be doing the same thing if this cycle does not work.. the best of luck to you, stay strong

Momifbysea

@PoeMasque I'm sorry to hear you're out this month and feel your pain. Totally understand you wanting to accelerate things, and I agree with PP that I'm having trouble concentrating at work too. This takes over our lives, and really stresses relationships. You know I'll be thinking of you through all this!