+1 to not being a huge fan of making lists for Christmas, it seems so impersonal. However, that being said I am stuck doing so because that's how DH's family does it. When we got serious when we were still dating I was told I had to start making Christmas lists for his mom. My hubby and I don't use them for each other(or for my side of the family), we just pay attention to each others needs and wants, for everyone else though it's list or nothing.
I definitely don't do bows. Ever. I find them pretty frustrating to open. I probably would pass the wrap test though because I usually do gift bags with tissue paper and I fluff it up nicely. I like that they're reusable for the recipient. Seems less wasteful. I'm also usually hurriedly wrapping my gift on the way to whatever event so grabbing a bag and tissue paper at the store has become my only option.
I love picking out gifts for people. This year, though, my parents gave me a very specific list and now I feel duty-bound to complete it. What can you do. I asked my mom for general ideas for my dad, since he has no hobbies or interests and loathes clutter, but she came back way too itemized.
I love picking out gifts for people. This year, though, my parents gave me a very specific list and now I feel duty-bound to complete it. What can you do. I asked my mom for general ideas for my dad, since he has no hobbies or interests and loathes clutter, but she came back way too itemized.
I asked for ideas for my grandparents one year, and I was told 1 thing. A very specific brand and color of diabetic socks for just my grandpa. My husband and I looked everywhere for them, and they ended up costing about $15 a pair.
My UO is that I hate being asked about my pregnancy. Like, I am sick of answering "how are you feeling?" or how's baby doing?" 27 times a day. Especially to people I barely know, or don't know at all. Like, gee random Target cashier, thanks for asking me about my uterus. I assume baby is good, but he's inside my body at the moment so I can't really ask him." But maybe I'm just a cranky antisocial b-word.
I don't mind having people ask about me or the baby... it's just awkward when I don't know how much they really want to know. Like yesterday, my aunt who I seriously only talk to or see about once a year called and asked how things are going. I said "good" then it was awkward silence before she started asking specific questions. She said "so are you sleeping ok?" "Yup, pretty good" "you're not getting sick or anything are you?" "Nope" "the Dr's say everything looks good?" "Uh yes, she did" it was just weird lol
+1 to that @kswiger06 I'm fine. Doing well, happy and healthy! If something is wrong and I've chosen not to tell you about it, asking me 20 questions isn't going to make me confide in you! Do you really want to hear about hemmheroids and back pain?
I also feel like "good" isn't an acceptable answer. People want detailed complaints or something, but can't I just be good? Bc I am!
Even if I'm not doing good a certain day, I just say I am. I can't be bothered about going into details unless there would be something legit to worry about.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Yes @Gretchypoo I think that's it! It's like they are just digging and waiting for me to complain about something. Obviously I have a list of things I could gripe about but I don't have any reason to fill everyone in on everything... that's why I'm here with you ladies lol
My Normal answer is usually. Oh you know, pregnant. Haha. They can take that however they want to. But it generally stops people from asking more questions.
@homemake I think I'm holding a grudge from the start of him dating Kate. He was so abrasive and demanding to get lucky. He came off like a brute. Buuuut he was very sweet in the finale.
@homemake@PerraSucia Brown paper and twine FTW! They can handle being stuffed into a car and driven 5 hours without smashing bows. Plus I love when I can tie a stack together. SIL said they look drab and not like Christmas. Whatevs, they look classy AF to me.
My UO is that I think it's so tacky when people walk into the OB office for a routine appointment in sweats or pajama pants. It is not that hard to get dressed in the morning.
So this might be a little UO and FFC, but I couldn't agree with you more!! I usually make my appts in the PM because I miss less work that way, well I made my last one for the AM and felt so out of place. I seriously got the vibe that AM appts are for people who are on Medicaid or other government assistance or young and pregnant(one girl came in with her mom and couldn't of been 16). I was the only one dressed in that office. Everyone else was in sweats or pjs. I was super judgy and will probably never go back in the AM.
On the lists at christmas - i would much rather get someone a gift that they needed and wanted rather than spend money on crap they dont.
I hear ya, but then get to know the person well enough to know what they need and want...
Some people are impossible to buy for because they have anything they need or want. H family are all pretty well off but not into "stuff" so it's really hard to buy for them. Both our families always ask what we want, because we too just get what we need (without the wealthy part haha). I think a strict list is kinda lame, but a wish list of ideas is helpful for the buyers. Doesnt mean you don't "know them", or haven't tried.
My UO is that I think it's so tacky when people walk into the OB office for a routine appointment in sweats or pajama pants. It is not that hard to get dressed in the morning.
So this might be a little UO and FFC, but I couldn't agree with you more!! I usually make my appts in the PM because I miss less work that way, well I made my last one for the AM and felt so out of place. I seriously got the vibe that AM appts are for people who are on Medicaid or other government assistance or young and pregnant(one girl came in with her mom and couldn't of been 16). I was the only one dressed in that office. Everyone else was in sweats or pjs. I was super judgy and will probably never go back in the AM.
So only people on assistance dress in pjs? Oh. Man.
I personally try not to cast judgment on people based off their wardrobe or that they are on any government assistance. We were on government assistance (insurance and eventually EBT) while pregnant with my first, and I was 19 when he was born, however I've always put on jeans or whatever to go out in public, and nobody in the office would have "known". We haven't had any assistance in years but having been there, I know that some people really are just struggling and need temporary help. Of course I know people who use the system to their advantage and it drives me crazy, but I know several people not on welfare who go to the store in sweats just because they want to.
Oh and I always make a.m. appointments and am in dresses or jeans.
+1 to not liking being asked about how I feel all the damn time. Most of the time I feel like it's just a courtesy, and people don't really want to know that I'm sleeping pretty terribly, getting annoyed at everything I can't eat because of GD, and I pee a little when I sneeze. I always say "We're good! A little tired, but good!" And then people always respond "You think you're tired now?! You just wait, hahahaha." I swear, it's like I live in a loop. Always the same interaction, regardless of who it's with.
I can't find who said it, but +1 to usually not giving cards with gifts. I will use gift tags, but I am just not a sentimental card person and I can never think of anything good to write in them. I send cards for birthdays (usually with cash/gift cards for the kids in the family), but otherwise I'm not spending $4 on a card on top of a gift just so I can write something awkward that you probably won't read.
If there's one thing I've learned this pregnancy it's that you never know what the woman next to you in that waiting room might be going through. It could be hell, so rock those pajamas if it gets you through the day.
My UO is that I think it's so tacky when people walk into the OB office for a routine appointment in sweats or pajama pants. It is not that hard to get dressed in the morning.
So this might be a little UO and FFC, but I couldn't agree with you more!! I usually make my appts in the PM because I miss less work that way, well I made my last one for the AM and felt so out of place. I seriously got the vibe that AM appts are for people who are on Medicaid or other government assistance or young and pregnant(one girl came in with her mom and couldn't of been 16). I was the only one dressed in that office. Everyone else was in sweats or pjs. I was super judgy and will probably never go back in the AM.
So only people on assistance dress in pjs? Oh. Man.
+1 to @Spicyweiner If you are on assistance you have very limited money. Would you rather those people spend their money on food and rent or on clothes to impress a snob at the Dr's office? Grow some empathy, plz.
ANDPLUSALSO PJs are awesome and comfy. Going to the dr can be super stressful and I may have to get nekid, I want something I can get in and out of easily. Last time I went in for an ultrasound I wore yoga pants and a tee shirt. I'm not 16 or on Medicaid. I just love comfort.
ONEMORE re: people on assistance - there is nothing wrong with being on Medicaid or assistance. It doesn't mean you are lazy or unfit in some way. In my state if you are pregnant you have to make 196% of the federal poverty level or below to qualify for Medicaid. That is about than $31,000 for a family of two. Can you imagine making ends meet and caring for a baby when you and your H make $31,000/ year TOGETHER? Can you imagine wasting ANY of that money on cute maternity clothes? Or would you focus on food, rent, medication and supplies for the baby?
I had an appt on a WFM day and wore sweats to the doctor AND to lunch with @Spicyweiner I gave zero fucks if people were judging my clothes. I was doing my 3 hour GD test and working from the hospital they're lucky I had a bra on.
Wow, there's some lame diva-like behavior up in this thread today.
Give me alllll the sweat pants and shirts. I'm done buying maternity clothes.
Yuuuuup! I fully plan to make it through the New England winter with a combination of H's old ski coat and mine unzipped so I don't need to buy one, and I'm trying to make long undershirts help solve the problem of all the maternity shirts I bought that are already too short. I have 3 pairs of pants I can wear, two of which have salad dressing stains, but I'd rather spend my money in other ways.
One of the things that I think is important to note is that there is a very strong stereotype around anyone on a government program, but in the majority of cases it is false. You cannot tell if someone is on assistance by their clothing, age, race, or really anything else except them telling you they are using it (or seeing them use it, in the case of SNAP). It is really easy to fall into the mindset of, "I know a person who abuses the system, so most people must be abusing the system or lazy." Honestly, a lot of us may know "that person". But that is not the majority.
The more I have learned about our government's social programs, the more you will find how limited they are, and often how poorly treated people who use them are. I can even say that as an annoyingly conservative republican (sorry guys)- our government's aid programs leave much to be desired.
It is a real shame to me that our country has such high child hunger rates, coupled with this stigma surrounding government aid. I would much rather see more people getting help temporarily and a reduction in child hunger rates, and I think we all know how important prenatal care is at this stage of our lives.
I will get off my soap box now, I just think it's important to be aware of false social stereotypes.
Really well said @WinchesterGirl, and your statement is also a good example of how people all over the political spectrum can find a common ground on many issues.
There are some days where I find even maternity jeans to be uncomfortable. I will never judge a pregnant person by what they are wearing, especially to an OB appt. I really shouldn't judge anyone on their clothing choices but FFFC, I probably do more judging than I should.
Everyone has basically already said what I wanted to say (cheers especially to @WinchesterGirl), but seriously: It would literally never occur to me to judge whether or not someone was a recipient of any social program based on how they are dressed. If I see someone at my OB's office in sweatpants or pajamas, I assume they need or want to wear sweatpants or pajamas that day. It seems seriously f*cked up to me to even put these two ideas together.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
I would love it if I could live in sweatpants and leggings but my super buttoned up office would flip. I dunno what I will do in another month, because I've been a trooper but really, putting on a pencil skirt or dress and heels every day is starting to feel like torture the last week or two.
And I will say that I don't agree with the PP's insulting of people being young or on assistance at her doctor's office, or correlating how they dress to their income level (As an aside my first job was working at a designer store in Beverly Hills, and the richest/most famous people shopping there were usually the ones who dressed the shabbiest so you never should assume - but I digress). But I do think I know what she was talking about regarding feeling out of place. I am always dressed up at work and usually on my own time as well, and my social and work circles are made up of people who do the same, so it just feels normal to me. But occasionally I go somewhere in the middle of the day, like to the DMV most recently, and feel like I look like I'm from another planet and realize just how sort of narrow my worldview can be.
Just wanted to point out that some of the most employed and financially responsible people I know leave the house in sweats/yoga pants all the damn time. It's completely ridiculous to make assumptions on someone's employment status based on wardrobe choices. Also, I have definitely been to doc appts in sweats. I had abdominal surgery last year to remove one of my fallopian tubes, and there was absolutely no way I could have worn anything else. You have no idea what someone's circumstances are, and it's pretty shallow to judge harshly based on what someone is wearing to a doctor's appointment. It's not like it's a job interview or a dinner party.
To many folks to tag, oh well. I'm getting flamed and don't care so I'm going to say this anyways. I guess my post up above was kinda 2 separate ones. No I don't have an issue with pjs/sweat pants or the equivalent. I wear them any time I'm not going to work. I was agreeing about the fact that if you have to go somewhere in public don't literally roll out of bed and head out. My point about the type of people that were at the office this particular AM goes in line with what @kswinger06 said. If you need assistance by all means get it. I'm not judging the people that are on it, but just because you are having a hard time doesn't mean you have to look like it. It was a you had to be there to see it kind of thing. If feeling like you should put a little effort into yourself before going out in public makes me a diva or snob so be it.
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I just give no shits about how other people dress. Like, of all the million things to notice while waiting a billion hours at the DMV, how the people around me are clothed would be waaaay at the bottom of that list. I only take actual notice of other people's clothing if I think something they're wearing is really cute, and I want to ask where they bought it.
And I'm really not trying to come off as holier-than-thou here. I am way too judgey about a lot of things, and I admit it...I just really try not to judge or stereotype based on appearance.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Re: UO Thursday, 12/8
My UO is that I hate being asked about my pregnancy. Like, I am sick of answering "how are you feeling?" or how's baby doing?" 27 times a day. Especially to people I barely know, or don't know at all. Like, gee random Target cashier, thanks for asking me about my uterus. I assume baby is good, but he's inside my body at the moment so I can't really ask him." But maybe I'm just a cranky antisocial b-word.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
This is my side-piece
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
H family are all pretty well off but not into "stuff" so it's really hard to buy for them.
Both our families always ask what we want, because we too just get what we need (without the wealthy part haha).
I think a strict list is kinda lame, but a wish list of ideas is helpful for the buyers.
Doesnt mean you don't "know them", or haven't tried.
Oh.
Man.
Oh and I always make a.m. appointments and am in dresses or jeans.
I can't find who said it, but +1 to usually not giving cards with gifts. I will use gift tags, but I am just not a sentimental card person and I can never think of anything good to write in them. I send cards for birthdays (usually with cash/gift cards for the kids in the family), but otherwise I'm not spending $4 on a card on top of a gift just so I can write something awkward that you probably won't read.
If there's one thing I've learned this pregnancy it's that you never know what the woman next to you in that waiting room might be going through. It could be hell, so rock those pajamas if it gets you through the day.
ANDPLUSALSO PJs are awesome and comfy. Going to the dr can be super stressful and I may have to get nekid, I want something I can get in and out of easily. Last time I went in for an ultrasound I wore yoga pants and a tee shirt. I'm not 16 or on Medicaid. I just love comfort.
ONEMORE re: people on assistance - there is nothing wrong with being on Medicaid or assistance. It doesn't mean you are lazy or unfit in some way. In my state if you are pregnant you have to make 196% of the federal poverty level or below to qualify for Medicaid. That is about than $31,000 for a family of two. Can you imagine making ends meet and caring for a baby when you and your H make $31,000/ year TOGETHER? Can you imagine wasting ANY of that money on cute maternity clothes? Or would you focus on food, rent, medication and supplies for the baby?
Give me alllll the sweat pants and shirts. I'm done buying maternity clothes.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
One of the things that I think is important to note is that there is a very strong stereotype around anyone on a government program, but in the majority of cases it is false. You cannot tell if someone is on assistance by their clothing, age, race, or really anything else except them telling you they are using it (or seeing them use it, in the case of SNAP). It is really easy to fall into the mindset of, "I know a person who abuses the system, so most people must be abusing the system or lazy." Honestly, a lot of us may know "that person". But that is not the majority.
The more I have learned about our government's social programs, the more you will find how limited they are, and often how poorly treated people who use them are. I can even say that as an annoyingly conservative republican (sorry guys)- our government's aid programs leave much to be desired.
It is a real shame to me that our country has such high child hunger rates, coupled with this stigma surrounding government aid. I would much rather see more people getting help temporarily and a reduction in child hunger rates, and I think we all know how important prenatal care is at this stage of our lives.
I will get off my soap box now, I just think it's important to be aware of false social stereotypes.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
And I will say that I don't agree with the PP's insulting of people being young or on assistance at her doctor's office, or correlating how they dress to their income level (As an aside my first job was working at a designer store in Beverly Hills, and the richest/most famous people shopping there were usually the ones who dressed the shabbiest so you never should assume - but I digress). But I do think I know what she was talking about regarding feeling out of place. I am always dressed up at work and usually on my own time as well, and my social and work circles are made up of people who do the same, so it just feels normal to me. But occasionally I go somewhere in the middle of the day, like to the DMV most recently, and feel like I look like I'm from another planet and realize just how sort of narrow my worldview can be.
And I'm really not trying to come off as holier-than-thou here. I am way too judgey about a lot of things, and I admit it...I just really try not to judge or stereotype based on appearance.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18