Flame Free Friday Confessions (FFFC) 11/18

SaphireSweetie88

@shstephenson - hopefully you don't have any self esteem issues / paranoia about how you look but if you do, come talk to us. We'll remind you how awesome you are!

shstephenson

@SaphireSweetie88 thank you! I know how ridiculous it sounds. I mean I'm growing a human, my body is awesome. But I've worked really hard to get where I am mentally and I don't want to back slide. 

SaphireSweetie88

@shstephenson - It doesn't sound ridiculous to me. I was the same in high school. I was 5'10'' and weighed 130 at most and I had some big self esteem issues.

RunRestRepeat

@shstephenson You're not alone. I've worked my butt off to get into the best shape of my life, and I'm definitely worried about my self esteem. 

Then I remember the insane miracle of what our bodies get to do, and I forget about being afraid (at least for a bit)!

dancegurl1118

I don't follow any pregnancy rule about food. I eat soft cheeses, medium rare meat, sushi, cold cuts. If you look at the CDC most recent listeria outbreaks almost ZERO of them are in those listed items. I did have a few drinks with my last pregnancy but don't see myself doing it with this one. 

bostonlady-2

@shstephenson @RunRestRepeat I feel the same as well! I know it's stupid but I'm worried about this, and how I'll be perceived at work since I don't to announce until after 18 weeks. 

@sdeidra A glass of red wine before bed was a part of my routine and I miss it a lot. Only 8 days since my BFP, but I feel you. 

Friday Confession- I can't limit myself to one cup of coffee a day. When I'm post call, and on hour 30ish of being awake, I literally feel like I can't function, so I have another cup of coffee. I know that staying awake for that long is likely much worse for me than the extra caffeine. But I feel so much more guilty about the beverage! It's ridiculous. Sigh. 

I hope everyone has a fabulous week!

manillabar

@Lilpickle77 another plus sized FTM here! I know how you feel. Not to mention I went shopping today and had to go a size up in tops and dresses because my already large boobs are even larger now. Thankfully though, my sister reminded me that this is all for a reason! I get worried about my health, baby's health, and honestly even how I will look (will I look pregnant or just fatter? Will I get a cute bump? etc), but I'm trying to focus on positivity instead. Keeping my options as healthy as possible (current food aversion to everything but plain bread and crackers aside lol), and enjoying this pregnancy as much as I can because it was definitely desired!  We (all of us) can be each others' support through this journey

caribbeanmama-2

I'm not enjoying being pregnant.  I am under a constant cloud of nausea and fatigue - it sucks monkey balls!  I'm scared I will not have slept for 4 years between current baby who still doesn't sleep through the night and next baby who may be as fussy and demanding as current baby.  I will have 2 under 2 for a hot minute when this one comes along.  I hate nursing - I'm so exhausted and my boobs have dropped like 6 inches - like seriously WTF.

satsumasandlemons

Since my bfp a week and 2 days ago at 8dpo (so, I'm not even 5 weeks yet), two people have asked if I'm pregnant. I don't even think I'm bloated! 

I really miss beer. I enjoyed a glass once a month or so with the last pg, but I'm not going to this time around 

satsumasandlemons

One more. My edd is 7/25/16 but because I'm scheduling a csection, I'm going to pick a fun date... like 7/17/17. Also hopefully that means less Leo and more cancer - I'm a Leo/Virgo cusp and can't deal with myself sometimes! 

SaphireSweetie88

caribbeanmama said:

I'm not enjoying being pregnant.  I am under a constant cloud of nausea and fatigue - it sucks monkey balls!  I'm scared I will not have slept for 4 years between current baby who still doesn't sleep through the night and next baby who may be as fussy and demanding as current baby.  I will have 2 under 2 for a hot minute when this one comes along.  I hate nursing - I'm so exhausted and my boobs have dropped like 6 inches - like seriously WTF.

@caribbeanmama - I am sorry you're feeling miserable but it will pass. Hang in there until it does mama.

satsumasandlemons said:

Since my bfp a week and 2 days ago at 8dpo (so, I'm not even 5 weeks yet), two people have asked if I'm pregnant. I don't even think I'm bloated! 

I really miss beer. I enjoyed a glass once a month or so with the last pg, but I'm not going to this time around 

@satsumasandlemons - It may still be bloating. When I first found out I was pregnant, people did ask me because of how bloated I was. 

shstephenson

@satsumasandlemons @SaphireSweetie88 yes! This may be part of my paranoia about looking "chubby" but literally two people asked me if I was pregnant today cause I'm so bloated! Obviously I don't look PREGNANT pregnant so I'm just like "what are you trying to say..." I'm being a sensitive Sally. 

SaphireSweetie88

@shstephenson

I think being a sensitive Sally is totally normal and understandable.

mamadcb

My confession: I don't even know if I look bloated! I had my son 9 months ago. Lost all but 5 lbs of the weight, but I was overweight to start with. I rely exclusively on maxi skirts, leggings, yoga pants, etc. I felt like I still looked pregnant before I even was, so who knows how I look now! I don't even really care if people think I've gained weight-- I would just rather no one guessed our news before we share it. 

satsumasandlemons

@SaphireSweetie88 @mamadcb @shstephenson wow I'm bloated and I just can't tell. I guess ignorance is bliss?

satsumasandlemons

@caribbeanmama hang in there and make sure to make time for yourself! I cannot imagine 2u2. My birth month moms that have had 2 & 3 close together are stronger mamas than me and would never trade it in for anything else. Also, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel  as 5 is pretty magical - actually, I thought 4 was awesome too but I realize there's a reason they call it fuck you 4s. 

satsumasandlemons

THIS! @cssme13  I'm with you. I have no grand expectations for a vbac and i think it's safe to say I make big babies - I've only made one but she came in at 10lbs 12 oz - and I wasn't diabetic or anything. 

cssme13 said:

I'm excited to have a scheduled c-section. My first was scheduled but my second was an emergency after a failed VBAC my recovery was cake, I was up and walking within 12 hours and back to our regular routine two days later once we got home. I'm looking forward to having an actual end date to this pregnancy.

satsumasandlemons

RunRestRepeat said:

Mine would be that I'm still temping every morning and charting in FF because I'm terrified something will go wrong and I won't have data. I need to find a good pregnancy tracker app so I can chart symptoms and still feel like I have some control, but haven't gotten around to it this week.

I was temping up until 2 days ago. I want to see everyone else's chart, can we post them? I think it would be fun. But I want a new thread. I'm making a new thread. 

RunRestRepeat

@satsumasandlemons My chart is still in my siggy... I finally convinced myself to stop temping this morning (I couldn't sleep for several hours in the early morning, so that might have been the last straw for me). Of course I'm still peeing on a stick every morning and I'm thinking about buying a digital today just to see the actual word... I may have a problem!

satsumasandlemons

RunRestRepeat said:

@satsumasandlemons My chart is still in my siggy... I finally convinced myself to stop temping this morning (I couldn't sleep for several hours in the early morning, so that might have been the last straw for me). Of course I'm still peeing on a stick every morning and I'm thinking about buying a digital today just to see the actual word... I may have a problem!

That's why I stopped temping - insomnia a few days ago! 
Im peeing on one of those clearblue digis that tell you how far along you are - Since I got 1-2 last time at exactly 4 weeks, I'm going to wait until Tuesday when I'm 5 weeks to see if I get a 3-4! 

GeorgiaWife6912

@RunRestRepeat I definiteyl POAS this morning because I haven't been able to temp the last 2 days due to an insane work schedule.  I had to have that confirmation!  I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to temp... 

RunRestRepeat

satsumasandlemons said:

That's why I stopped temping - insomnia a few days ago! 
Im peeing on one of those clearblue digis that tell you how far along you are - Since I got 1-2 last time at exactly 4 weeks, I'm going to wait until Tuesday when I'm 5 weeks to see if I get a 3-4! 

Hmmm, that's an interesting idea. Though I'll be exactly 5 weeks on Thanksgiving at my in laws... plus, I'd have to buy a test since I don't have any digis left. Maybe I'll see how long I can keep the crazy at bay. Of course Wondfos don't count since I have a billion!

tsarina-2

@lanie1000 and @Itsnotyourturn I also have ADD and am still taking a *very* lose dose of my medication bc I literally cannot function without. I wish I could take my normal, long acting medication - it's a life-changer for me, but my doctor says no. You ladies are very strong to abstain completely! 

Lots of love to all you plus sized mamas-to-be out there - you rock.

lanie1000

@tsarina the struggle is so real. I've noticed a major change in my motivation and ability to concentrate on anything tedious. If people start noticing a major drop in my job performance, I may have to ask my doctor about going the low-dose route...I'm honestly just hoping I can make it until the end of the first trimester and then reassess the risk. 

shstephenson

@RunRestRepeat @GeorgiaWife6912 omg I'm still POAS too haha just want to make sure it's getting darker (which it is thankfully  )

RunRestRepeat

@shstephenson I almost bought a digital today, and then I realized how silly that would be when I have 2 frers, 1 cb, and about 20 wondfos already. I'm not looking forward to symptoms, but man is it weird being pregnant but feeling nothing!

glitterfish-2

RunRestRepeat said:

@shstephenson I almost bought a digital today, and then I realized how silly that would be when I have 2 frers, 1 cb, and about 20 wondfos already. I'm not looking forward to symptoms, but man is it weird being pregnant but feeling nothing!

I bought the one that tells how many weeks bc that's the pic my sister sent me of hers! I was expecting it to say 2-3 weeks, and it came up 3+!

glitterfish-2

By the way, I will either be 8 weeks or 8+2 tomorrow and I still feel nothing the majority of the time.

jlripl

I completely understand how you feel. My best friend has been trying for over two years. lost 55lbs. went through iuis. and pulled the plug on trying because they couldn't afford ivfs. Here I am morbidly obese and I stop taking my bc pill for a month because I couldnt start them on time and I'm pregnant. I don't know how I'm going to tell her when the time comes. 

dancegurl1118

Still POAS over here every few days. I feel so different from my last pregnancy so that's why. Still ask dark as the wondfo can get and I got a 3+ on the weeks estimator at 5+2 so I really have no excuse for peeing on everything still...

LoveLee85

jlripl said:

I completely understand how you feel. My best friend has been trying for over two years. lost 55lbs. went through iuis. and pulled the plug on trying because they couldn't afford ivfs. Here I am morbidly obese and I stop taking my bc pill for a month because I couldnt start them on time and I'm pregnant. I don't know how I'm going to tell her when the time comes. 

I'm in kind of sort of in a similar situation. My friend and her hubby 'pulled the goalie' over a year ago with no luck yet. We just one night said 'let's try for number two' and a few weeks later I was peeing on sticks with double lines. I feel guilty for how easy it has always been for us.

pretzel2plus1

LoveLee85 said:

jlripl said:

I completely understand how you feel. My best friend has been trying for over two years. lost 55lbs. went through iuis. and pulled the plug on trying because they couldn't afford ivfs. Here I am morbidly obese and I stop taking my bc pill for a month because I couldnt start them on time and I'm pregnant. I don't know how I'm going to tell her when the time comes. 

I'm in kind of sort of in a similar situation. My friend and her hubby 'pulled the goalie' over a year ago with no luck yet. We just one night said 'let's try for number two' and a few weeks later I was peeing on sticks with double lines. I feel guilty for how easy it has always been for us.

Please don't feel guilty! That's awesome that it has been easy for you both! My best friend and I are actually the opposite. My H and I tried for over a year and had just started testing with an RE when we got our surprise BFP, but my best friend and her H are able to get pregnant very easily and have two beautiful children now. While it has been very difficult for me at times, there was never a time when I was not so incredibly happy for her. While I can't speak for your friend, I'm sure she will feel the same way, just maybe be prepared to extend some grace if she's a bit sad for herself at first.

Dcwtada

@LoveLee85 the only piece of advice from things I have heard from other women in your friends position is don't tell her in person. Find a way to tell her that lets her absorb the shock and grieve for herself if need be and then be able to celebrate with you. 

Manda95816

lanie1000 said:

@tsarina the struggle is so real. I've noticed a major change in my motivation and ability to concentrate on anything tedious. If people start noticing a major drop in my job performance, I may have to ask my doctor about going the low-dose route...I'm honestly just hoping I can make it until the end of the first trimester and then reassess the risk. 

Omg, I have this problem too.  I'm taking a bunch of classes right now, and as soon as I got pregnant - before I even realized I was pregnant - my concentration, motivation and overall persistence with school just went to heck.  My FFFC confession is: I've had the whole day to myself today (flaked on a holiday party due to nausea), to work on some projects, haven't done hardly anything

tsarina-2

@Manda95816 It's so hard! Don't feel badly. You are not alone

SparkyOne

Overweight mama here too.  It's got me a bit on edge with this pregnancy too.  Working out really does help with the weight gain as last pregnancy I walked quite a bit and only gained 8 lbs (which was what was recommended by my doc).  It also helps with delivery.  (My water broke without any contractions beforehand and baby was born in total 15 mins beginning to end!)

theweevee

shstephenson said:

@satsumasandlemons @SaphireSweetie88 yes! This may be part of my paranoia about looking "chubby" but literally two people asked me if I was pregnant today cause I'm so bloated! Obviously I don't look PREGNANT pregnant so I'm just like "what are you trying to say..." I'm being a sensitive Sally. 

Yes this!  This gave me an entire complex.  Full of "do I look fat?" questions for poor DH.

tsarina-2

@theweevee & @shstephenson Why do people feel like this is a good question to ask women?! There's no right answer. If you are pregnant, obviously you aren't telling anyone or they would know. If you aren't, well, what do they expect you to say? 'No I just have a gut.' I mean really. 

edited for clarity

BoTor091314

@theweevee, @shstephenson, and @tsarina : so DH and I just moved to Houston from the SF Bay Area in June.  Fortunately, DH got a new job and I am able to work from home with my old company (we moved to be closer to family while starting our own).  At the end of the summer there was a party thrown by DH office.  I was invited and I went - I was curious to meet everyone since DH spoke so highly of (most) of them...we had a lovely lunch, participated in a scavenger hunt on the pier, and then were on a bay cruise - complete with adult beverages.  I guess that one of DH coworkers finally got up the nerve to ask me "how far along I was"...I wasn't preggo - just round...to add insult to injury he was like "can't be long now!".  I was like "far along for what?" - knowing exactly what he was implying.  I was mortified on the inside but ultimately had to keep my head up and and say "no, I'm not pregnant.  But we are trying and will be very excited once we are".  I walked away and ordered another drink.  WTF.  Seriously??!? Why do people think it is even kinda appropriate?  This guy had just met me - like 3 hours before.  WTF.  Since then, I have lost about 20# - got back into work out routine.  Guess that won't stay gone too long!

shstephenson

@BoTor091314 wowwwww. I would have been so pissed/upset! What a jerk!!