Flame Free Friday Confessions (FFFC) 11/18

pepper16-2

It's Friday! What are your confessions? 

*Flame free not guaranteed 

MrsN092714

One of my very good friends had a baby girl this morning.  She's perfect and I couldn't be happier for her but I am so jealous that she was able to deliver vaginally.  I feel this way everytime I hear about someone delivering vaginally and I know it's dumb.  I hated my c section and want a VBAC so badly this time and hope it resolves these ugly feelings.  (Sorry for the dear diary post)

SaphireSweetie88

@MrsN092714 - I don't think it's dumb that you feel that way. It's understandable. FX you can do vaginally this time

RunRestRepeat

@MrsN092714 I think that's a totally valid feeling. I'm going to be a FTM, and I'm already nervous about the possibility of a cs. I know it is different for each baby, but DH was 10lbs and breech. That terrifies me!

Mine would be that I'm still temping every morning and charting in FF because I'm terrified something will go wrong and I won't have data. I need to find a good pregnancy tracker app so I can chart symptoms and still feel like I have some control, but haven't gotten around to it this week.

ACharnelle

I have felt this way. I struggle with feeling like they are better than me somehow for delivering vaginally. I realize that's totally crazy. There's no hope for a VBAC for me unfortunately. I hope you get yours!

pepper16-2

@MrsN092714 FX you get that VBAC! FWIW, those feelings sound totally understandable and not ugly at all. 

@RunRestRepeat I have been the same way!! I'm slowly weening myself off of FF and onto Ovia Pregnancy which works pretty well for tracking symptoms/activity/weight/appointments etc etc while also giving little milestone updates along the way. Not perfect, but better for my mental health than temping/checking CM/CP everyday.... 

pretzel2plus1

@RunRestRepeat FF actually has a pregnancy tracker with check boxes for different symptoms. I haven't really used it because I was just so excited to stop temping, but I did enter my EDD for it to track from there. 

MrsN092714

@RunRestRepeat I continued to chart with FF for a long time after I got my first BFP. .. and then watching every little dip started making me mental.  I have heard really good things about the ovia pregnancy tracker.

thatcma

@mrsN092714 as others have said this is a totally valid feeling. FX for you to get yours!

@runrestrepeat girl, I temped for 11 days after I got my positive to ease my mind. Just be careful if you see small dips and not panic like I did.

My FFFC: I think my co-worker is annoyed at not being the only pregnant person around here, and IDGAF.

mango15

I found out i was pregnant with #3 on Sunday and still haven't told my husband. We were discussing trying and trying to figure out when would be a good time and hadn't settled on anything yet. I'm afraid he will be disappointed that it happened before we "decided." And it doesn't really feel real yet. 
Any tips for breaking the news for baby #3? He's not into anything cutesy either. I tried wrapping the pregnancy test and having him open it with number 2... really not his thing.

kat0607

@RunRestRepeat I use Ovia Pregnancy and love it!! There's so many cool features like a food and medicine safety lookup...I use it all the time for different foods, especially since I'm still early. 

My FFFC is that I watch Netflix and YouTube videos at my desk all day. I still get all my work done. But still. 

RunRestRepeat

@pepper16 @pretzel2plus1 @MrsN092714 @osucma @kat0607 Thank you for making me realize I'm not a crazy person! I did put my EDD in FF, but it just doesn't seem very intuitive especially if you don't pay for the VIP version.

I also have BabyBump which has some cool features like a kick counter and contraction counter, but I've heard such good things about Ovia that I definitely want to check it out. I've heard WebMD, Sprout, and Nurture mentioned as well... looks like downloading/testing apps might be my Friday night plans!

Shaq1009

@MrsN092714 - I can totally relate.  I've had two c/s.  My last pregnancy I went all the way to 42 weeks trying for a VBAC and still ended up with a c/s.  This pregnancy I am going to a VBAC specialist that's over an hour away from my house.  But if a VBAC is something very important to you I highly recommend you research the doctors around you and their VBAC success rates.  Your local ICAN chapter is an excellent place to start. 

BoTor091314

Ok Ladies - I really (REALLY) want a smoke.  I quit (cold turkey) about a month ago (when we began IVF treatments).  I have even had dreams about smoking!!!  I know it is awful - and I haven't caved - but damn. 

@kat0607  I haven't really gotten much work done (but haven't missed any deadlines).  I have to give a presentation in about an hour, but I fully intend on lurking thorough a few more threads before finalizing my presentation and sending it out.

SaphireSweetie88

mango15 said:

I found out i was pregnant with #3 on Sunday and still haven't told my husband. We were discussing trying and trying to figure out when would be a good time and hadn't settled on anything yet. I'm afraid he will be disappointed that it happened before we "decided." And it doesn't really feel real yet. 
Any tips for breaking the news for baby #3? He's not into anything cutesy either. I tried wrapping the pregnancy test and having him open it with number 2... really not his thing.

@mango15

Since you and your DH were discussing TTC for #3 already I don't think he would be disappointed at all. I'd tell him tonight.

ladipale

@MrsN092714 - Your feelings are SO NORMAL! I had an emergency c-section with my first and still feel jealous of women who have vaginal births. So much stigma with c-sections. I ended up with a 2nd c-s with my 2nd and that helped heal me from the first and a scheduled c-section was so much better! I really wanted a VBAC but ended up being diagnosed with gestational diabetes so it was out of the question.

@RunRestRepeat - I'm liking the GLOW pregnancy app.

@mango15 - that happened to me last year when we got pregnant with our 3rd. I kept it a secret from my husband for a few days because he was not sold on a third yet.... eventually he just asked me if I was pregnant and I told him. He was beyond excited.

splashmountain

@MrsN092714 I completely understand. I was crushed when after 12 hours of labor they said it was time for a c-section.  Unfortunately I don't have the option of vbac. I really hope you get yours!

@BoTor091314 Quitting smoking sucks and I remember with ds how bad I would feel that I was pregnant and craving a cigarette (even though I didn't do it)! Not smoking is the best thing for baby and not smoking even though you really want one just shows how strong you really are! You got this!

My FFFC: I just ate leftover garlic bread for breakfast....and it was delicious!

mango15

Thanks @SaphireSweetie88 and @ladipale I guess one upside for him is he now has a designated driver for all the holiday parties coming up. 

Itsnotyourturn

@BoTor091314, I have dreams of taking my ADD medication and cleaning my house and organizing it.   You're not alone.

thatcma

@botor091314 I quit smoking before trying but it was TOUGH. I also quit cold turkey. Just keep your head up and know that you truly do breathe better every day you aren't smoking. I still have smoking dreams sometimes and I am 4 months past quitting. Hugs!

glitterfish-2

Yesterday I felt so nauseous with a headache that I went to bed around 3:30pm!
I also didnt get up and check out of my hotel until 11:45!
Now I'm thinking I'll say screw work and start driving home now (4 hrs).
Bad news is that my in-laws will be at my house tonight so I can't even collapse into bed.

BoTor091314

Thanks @pumpkin0913, @Itsnotyourturn, and @osucma! I have been feeling awful about it - it is nice to know that others are struggling (yeah, I know it's twisted).
@GlitterFish - I have seen a couple of threads that list magnesium and B6 for migraines (more specifically, for prevention).  I am not sure of the dosing - or if it would be helpful to you - but it may be worth discussing with your OB.  I haven't had a full blown migraine yet, but I plan on talking to my RE to see if there is anything I can do for prevention (since all of the other meds I used to take are out).  I hope you get some relied and time to rest tonight!

Dcwtada

FFFC - and I realize more than half of you will probably hate me. I think there is way too much emphasis with having your ideal delivery. To me the delivery was simply a means to an end and mattered so little. I don't feel like a woman is better for having an unmedicated birth or that there is any difference between c-section or vaginal. I admit I roll my eyes when people feel robbed they didn't have their ideal birth. Flame away but I had an easy birth and a horrific one and I am neither scarred or disappointed and while I'd prefer not to go under general anesthesia again if it can be helped, I'd do it again in a heartbeat if that was what was best and I wouldn't be disappointed in it afterwards.

Shaq1009

For me trying for a VBAC and now vba2c it is less about an ideal birth scenario and more about recovery.  It was really difficult caring for a 2yr old after major abdominal surgery.  

My first was an emergency C/S and I was under general anesthesia.  So it was a bit disappointing to miss the entire thing.  My second was a less traumatic c/s but I ended up with a dural puncture which was crippling for about 5-6 days. I very much hope for a successful vba2c and for no one to come anywhere near my spine. 

kghusker1003

I am personally excited for my 3rd c-section.  I watched my SIL give birth naturally and I said F that.  I had a great first surgery with DD1, was up walking 12 hours later, didn't even take the pain mess once I went home.  DD2's c-section was a little bit rough as I had to be put under general anesthesia, and on a morphine drip for 8 hrs after.  At the end, I just want to be able to bring home a baby. 

My real FFFC: I told DH that I couldn't bring him lunch because I couldn't stop puking. Truth is that I wanted to nap with DD2

MrsN092714

@shaq1009 I agree.  I want a VBAC mostly for the fact that I will have a 20 month old to be chasing around as well.  
I hated my c section and I wasn't someone who went in with a birth plan.  My plan was however got my baby out and safe.  Knowing what I know now I am planning on going with with a more structured plan for if I do end up a section again but the plan will still be get my baby out safely.  
@kghusker1003 I take my hat off to those who choose a c section!  I get it, there is a comfort in knowing what your up against.  I had a fairly easy recovery and if it ends up that way again, so be it but it's definitely not my first choice!

sdeidra

I miss wine. That's all. 

AngelleDG

My husbands grandmother found out she had cancer and died while I was pregnant for my son.

We just found out my FIL has inoperable liver cancer.

I know it's crazy but a part of me feels guilty. Every time I have a healthy pregnancy someone gets cancer! I hope it somehow works out for my FIL. We are very close with him and I can't imagine raising my children without him around.  

Also feeling conpletely selfish that this has to happen again when we should be over the moon happy! Guilt everywhere ugh

lanie1000

@Itsnotyourturn I thought I was the only one struggling without my ADD meds! This fatigue isn't making it any easier. 

cssme13

I'm excited to have a scheduled c-section. My first was scheduled but my second was an emergency after a failed VBAC my recovery was cake, I was up and walking within 12 hours and back to our regular routine two days later once we got home. I'm looking forward to having an actual end date to this pregnancy. 

We have also had our Christmas tree up for 2 weeks

Itsnotyourturn

@lanie1000 the struggle so real.  The worst were the withdrawals my first week after finding out.  Now I'm just paralyzed by procrastination.  When I finally do get myself moving in a direction it's short lived because of a) nausea and b)fatigue.  Luckily I'm off work.  Do not know how I would function if I had to work.

Lilpickle77

I feel guilty for being plus size and pregnant. As if I don't deserve this. That people will judge me. I'm happily married and we both have good careers and are financially stable. It's just the weight that freaks me out and makes it hard for me to enjoy this.

chiquita928

@RunRestRepeat DH send I were both big babies from long lines of big babies, and DS was 5lbs. 15 oz. you never know.

AngelleDG

@Lilpickle77 You definitely deserve this and more importantly you deserve to be happy about it!!!! I hope you find a way to gain confidence.

Lilpickle77

@angellaDG thanks! I'm working on it! I'm a FTM and I know I have to be a strong and confident mama bear and kick those nerves away. My husband and best friend keeping telling me to relax. It's about time I listened 

AngelleDG

@Lilpickle77 What would we do without hubbies! I've had a few mc so I keep panicking over the tiniest thing and he's always there like woah, hold on, it's ok.

BoTor091314

@Lilpickle77 - I too, am a plus sized lady.  Please don't feel guilty!  You are wonderful just as you are!!  While I am worried about things associated with being overweight and preggo, I am focusing on eating healthy and getting some good exercise 2-4x/week.  People are going to judge anyway!!  No one is perfect, but the truly sad sacks make themselves feel better by looking at everyone - besides themselves - and judge away so they feel less terrible!  Now is the time for all of us to take the best possible care of ourselves.  I am trying to be gentle and forgiving with myself; this includes silencing my negative self talk (oh so hard!). 

@sdeidra - tru dat. I sobbed as I cancelled my wine club shipments...funny enough, they all sent me congratulatory emails and reminded me that I could call back at any time for a shipment  

@lanie1000 and @Itsnotyourturn - My husband has severe ADD and mild Asperger's and has been a disaster since we got the first BFP.  I can't imagine if he wasn't on his meds right now!!! (I actually talked with him last night and gently suggested that he talk to the doc about temporarily increasing).  It must be quite a challenge to navigate this time without the support meds can provide.  Honestly, I do think that women are much more capable of coping with the symptoms than men.  That said, my brain is an addled mess...it must be time for a snack and nap!

caribbeanmama-2

@mango15 how about a shirt that says designated driver and see if he figures it out.

SaphireSweetie88

Lilpickle77 said:

I feel guilty for being plus size and pregnant. As if I don't deserve this. That people will judge me. I'm happily married and we both have good careers and are financially stable. It's just the weight that freaks me out and makes it hard for me to enjoy this.

@Lilpickle77

DON'T YOU DARE FEEL GUILTY!!

Who cares if you're a size 2 and pregnant or 22 and pregnant? You're beautiful and you and your body are doing something amazing by creating a baby. You deserve this - no doubt about it. Enjoy every second and walk around with your head up and full of pride and confidence. We got your back.

kghusker1003

@Lilpickle77 I am plus size too! It bothered me when I was pregnant with DD1, especially when a former friend of DH's said that I just looked extra fat and using baby as excuse to become lazy.  I rock my plus size belly. It hasn't slowed me down at all.  It also didn't contribute to me having a c-section, or cause my babies to be "too big". Etc. You go mama bear! You are beautiful no matter what size you are! 

shstephenson

@sdeidra yassss I miss wine too! And it's only been two days since BFP. Although I must say at this point I miss the concept of being able to drink socially than I really miss the drinking itself (once again... two days...)

My FFC is that I'm really paranoid that people will think I've just gotten chubby instead of looking pregnant. I had really bad self esteem issues when I was younger (thinking I was "fat" at 110 lbs *cue eye roll*) and I have just now gotten to a place where I feel comfortable in my skin.