+1 to breastfeeding being the hardest part about being a new mom. Take it one day at a time. I cried harder than I ever have in my entire life on day 5 but by day 14 it was a little better, by six weeks it was a lot better, and by a few months it was finally perfect.
+1 to mirror. I didn't have one in the beginning and my daughter hated the car so we were constantly wondering if she was okay. We bought one and it ended up being one of my favorite purchases.
For those of you who had a tough time with breastfeeding at first, were you offered formula as an option? I'll be honest, I'm super duper nervous about BFing. I'm signed up for a class and will do the best I can, but I've also promised myself that I won't torture myself or feel bad if it's just not working out. My breasts hurt pretty much all the time even when I'm not pregnant so I have a hard time feeling positively about how BF will go for me. I'm wondering if my nurses will help guide me to this decision or if I'll need to advocate for myself and bring my own formula if I think I need to supplement. I'm not at an official "baby friendly" hospital, but it shares many policies in common with that system.
+1 to the mirror, dd is 18 months old and we still use her mirror. She looks at her mirror to look at my rear view mirror to look at me.
And s a big +1 to breastfeeding. I hate the shaming that goes on. Some people have magical experiences and others don't. Your nurses carry a lot of weight in this area- they can hurt or help the breastfeeding experience. I did not breastfeed and my dd is perfect, I will try with this next little one but if it doesn't happen I won't stress out about it. And I refuse to have anyone talk about the fact that formula feeding isn't good enough for my baby.
For those of you who had a tough time with breastfeeding at first, were you offered formula as an option? I'll be honest, I'm super duper nervous about BFing. I'm signed up for a class and will do the best I can, but I've also promised myself that I won't torture myself or feel bad if it's just not working out. My breasts hurt pretty much all the time even when I'm not pregnant so I have a hard time feeling positively about how BF will go for me. I'm wondering if my nurses will help guide me to this decision or if I'll need to advocate for myself and bring my own formula if I think I need to supplement. I'm not at an official "baby friendly" hospital, but it shares many policies in common with that system.
I was not offered formula until after meeting with the LCs on call and many attempts at trying it out on my own too. When they did offer it finally, it did not come from a place of "hey you failed, try formula" but more of "we have resources if you want to use them." The hospital I was at was at least trying to be supportive of my choice but we ended up giving a little bit of formula mixed with whatever was coming out during pumping. I think it just depends on your hospital and how much they want to support you in your choices.
@Xstatic3333 I wasn't offered formula but I was offered lots of help from the nurses and LC's. I wasn't struggling too bad when I was there besides getting bruised so maybe that's why.
I've never heard of someone not being offered formula if they simply can't BF though. I would hope all health professionals just want a fed baby and would provide you with samples and all of that if you're having a hard time.
+1 to the mirror, dd is 18 months old and we still use her mirror. She looks at her mirror to look at my rear view mirror to look at me.
And s a big +1 to breastfeeding. I hate the shaming that goes on. Some people have magical experiences and others don't. Your nurses carry a lot of weight in this area- they can hurt or help the breastfeeding experience. I did not breastfeed and my dd is perfect, I will try with this next little one but if it doesn't happen I won't stress out about it. And I refuse to have anyone talk about the fact that formula feeding isn't good enough for my baby.
Yes! After 6 months pumping and supplementing, we completely switched to formula. My DD is awesome and brilliant (I may be biased) and no one would ever be able to know what the heck she ate as an infant. I think that for as much as the medical community touts BFing as the greatest, we need to lift up the women who cannot or choose not to go that option. Everyone has their own struggles and choices and i hate that anyone on any side of the fence feels shamed or judged for their choices.
I dont even know what I ate as a baby.. my DH was solely formula though, I do know that.
@Xstatic3333. I was typing my response when you were responding, sorry this is seperate. My hospital has similac formula on hand. Again this is nurse dependent. I had some in the bassinet with the blankets and diapers. My friend who delivered there 2 months later was not given formula. But her nurse thought she had a good latch, so maybe that is why she wasn't given any.
Thanks @fourpsinapod@foxrosy@homemake and @mamallamallama. It's nice to hear you were offered both help from a LC and formula. My doula has had generally very positive things to say about the nurses at my hospital so hopefully they'll be supportive with both choices as well.
I went to formula in the hospital. Just the thought of BF sent me into anxiety... but I had a really problematic pregnancy, undiagnosed Anxiety, slightly rough birth and a baby with horrific reflux (like a NICU doctor was called to evaluate her). Everyone was super supportive and never gave me anything but support.
I am looking forward to trying BF this time but I have no idea how it will go.
I was actually upset that none of my family or friends warned me of the pain that came with breastfeeding. It wasn't until I almost stopped at 3 weeks when someone said it would get better and that its normal to hurt. I always try to talk to my new mom friends about bf and let them know it's going to hurt and just be supportive of whatever way they go.
God forbid I have issues BF. I'm so hell bent on BF, i would feel absolutely awful if I couldn't. Ever since I was a teenager i had decided I was going to BF. The reason being that out of 4 kids, i was the only one my mom did not BF and I'm also the sickest out of all of us. Since i can remember, I got sick all the freaking time. And I still do. And it's so frustrating when people around you don't understand why the fuck I'm so "sickly."
I know it's irrational but that's what I blame it on even though I have no evidence. I just want my baby to have the best possible immune system.
God forbid I have issues BF. I'm so hell bent on BF, i would feel absolutely awful if I couldn't. Ever since I was a teenager i had decided I was going to BF. The reason being that out of 4 kids, i was the only one my mom did not BF and I'm also the sickest out of all of us. Since i can remember, I got sick all the freaking time. And I still do. And it's so frustrating when people around you don't understand why the fuck I'm so "sickly."
I know it's irrational but that's what I blame it on even though I have no evidence. I just want my baby to have the best possible immune system.
I thought you said you didn't want to breastfeed and just pump?
@Afkash I'm so sorry you've had health problems but I truly doubt that FF is the cause. For every story like yours there's one of a FF kid who was healthy as an ox. I admire your desire to BF and hope it will work out, but I'd hate for any moms on our board who plan to FF to feel badly about that choice. Fed is best!
Is there anyone here who decided from the get-go, either previously or with this baby, that they're going to FF exclusively from the beginning? Do you think the hospital would give your a hard time about a decision like that?
@Afkash I'm so sorry you've had health problems but I truly doubt that FF is the cause. For every story like yours there's one of a FF kid who was healthy as an ox. I admire your desire to BF and hope it will work out, but I'd hate for any moms on our board who plan to FF to feel badly about that choice. Fed is best!
Case and point: my DH. As mentioned above, he was solely FF and never gets sick. Like literally I can count on one hand how many times he has been sick. I've seen him throw up once since being with him the last 11 years. And it was the norovirus we all caught lol.
Is there anyone here who decided from the get-go, either previously or with this baby, that they're going to FF exclusively from the beginning? Do you think the hospital would give your a hard time about a decision like that?
I have seriously considered it for this time. But I think I am going to still try to pump and see how it all goes down. But if things change and I decide to FF from the get go and they give me a problem, I will tell them to shove it.
Is there anyone here who decided from the get-go, either previously or with this baby, that they're going to FF exclusively from the beginning? Do you think the hospital would give your a hard time about a decision like that?
I didn't and won't decide before baby is here. I think it will really depend on your hospital. I can't imagine a medical professional giving you a hard time. They might double, triple, or quadruple check that you are positive that is what you want to do. Our hospital won't let you leave with the baby until they can see a good latch or they can see the baby using a bottle.
I had a hard time bfing. DD didn't latch well (underlying issues we found out about much later) and my nipples were literally bloody, like they had been ran over a cheese grater. But because I'm stubborn AF, I was determined to do it. ( and we were broke and formula is expensive). I used a nipple shield for 3 months until she could latch herself and then it was smooth sailing.
IMO, this thread could potentially take a bad turn and it's best to avoid topics where BF and FF are compared. As long as mom feels good about her choice and baby is healthy and thriving, then you're doing a great fucking job.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
@Spicyweiner Yes, I was considering exclusively pumping earlier on cuz I was scared baby wouldn't latch and all those complications. But after taking the BF class and talking to my sister, I feel more confident in BF.
Ladies, by no means was I putting down FF. As I said, i know I'm being irrational by blaming my health on lack of breast milk but it's just something I've gotten stuck in MY head. I guess, psychologically, I need something to blame for the difficulties I've had growing up. I, too, know a LOT of people who were EFF and they are healthy as can be, now. My one sister had to supplement her kids because for whatever reason she didn't have a big enough milk supply. Her kids are doing great! I'm just saying, I know I will have a hard time coping if I have to FF just cuz how I've set my mind since I was a teenager. Absolutely no offense to anyone.
IMO, this thread could potentially take a bad turn and it's best to avoid topics where BF and FF are compared. As long as mom feels good about her choice and baby is healthy and thriving, then you're doing a great fucking job.
Only if people are being assholes about it. I think sharing experiences is fine, as long nobody starts spouting any sanctimonious bullshit.
I am slightly confused about why exclusively pumping isn't considered breastfeeding. Maybe it's just my circle but if you are using milk from your boobs to feed your child it is breastfeeding. You can either nurse or pump to get the milk out.
Is e.p.ing not considered breastfeeding? (Real question)
IMO, this thread could potentially take a bad turn and it's best to avoid topics where BF and FF are compared. As long as mom feels good about her choice and baby is healthy and thriving, then you're doing a great fucking job.
Only if people are being assholes about it. I think sharing experiences is fine, as long nobody starts spouting any sanctimonious bullshit.
Agreed. There was a few comments that triggered my own comment, but yes, sharing experiences seem a okay to me.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I am slightly confused about why exclusively pumping isn't considered breastfeeding. Maybe it's just my circle but if you are using milk from your boobs to feed your child it is breastfeeding. You can either nurse or pump to get the milk out.
Is e.p.ing not considered breastfeeding? (Real question)
I consider it it breastfeeding but I think exclusively pumping has different complications/ issues than "traditional" breastfeeding
+ 1 to don't be a sanctimonious asshole. Fed babies and happy moms are best.
@livinglavidaginger Bfing can be hard and having a newborn is stressful but it's also pretty awesome. Plus you will have all of us to vent to, and ask questions, and commiserate with, and share with. It will be okay!
Ya'll are crazy. We just give our kid steak from the beginning. Let them suck on that for nutrients. Just kidding. But really- fed is best! Both of my kids were bf for a year, one gets sicker far easier than the other one does, and I don't think it would have been any different had we ff. Honestly sometimes I wish I'd had someone in my life when ds was a baby to tell me it was ok to quit bf if I felt that was best for us. You still will bond with baby, you're still feeding for them, you still love them just as much. Mentally I think I would have been in a much better place as I had a really rough first 6 months of bf with him that took its toll on me. I decided to try again with dd and had a totally different experience the second time. So that being said- if it was tough last time for you, that doesn't necessarily mean it will be the same this time, but it's also 100% ok to decide if it's not right for your family too.
Everyone I know who just decided to not attempt BFing at all was given a LOT of shit by the medical professionals around them.
I only have one person I kind of side eyed for not even attempting to nurse but it's because she wanted to immediately go back to pot smoking. But to each their own.
I also feel like exclusive pumping is the same as BF cuz baby's getting breast milk either way.
Also, I just had an interesting realization!! MAYBE it was the formula I was being fed! After all, this was while we were in India and who knows what the hell they put in their formula back then. o_O This changes things so much.
I also feel like exclusive pumping is the same as BF cuz baby's getting breast milk either way.
Also, I just had an interesting realization!! MAYBE it was the formula I was being fed! After all, this was while we were in India and who knows what the hell they put in their formula back then. o_O This changes things so much.
Or maybe you just don't have a strong immune system, or are just someone that has a lot of health issues. I doubt formula had anything to do with you being the way you are.
@fourPsinapod, I can relate to how you feel. I had a horrible experience BFing. My milk didn't come in and DD wouldn't latch. She was born at 3:30am on a Friday, and there wasn't an LC on for the weekend so I never saw one. I got a hospital pump but had no idea what I was doing. The nurses gave me formula to supplement. So I'd pump a few drops and fill the rest with formula. DD ended up back in the hospital with jaundice at 4 days old and I didn't get an LC because I wasn't admitted in the hospital, just she was. It sucked. I am going to try to be so much more educated this time. A nipple shield helped but I was so overwhelmed I didn't try hard enough and EPd until I just switched to formula. This time I'm going to the hospital stocked up (nipple shields, pump, etc) and I will call a private LC if I have to!!!
So totally dumb question, but I know BF will hurt. So I've totally accepted that. But, does pumping at first hurt as much as trying to get the baby to latch? I really want to pump right away and have my H feed the baby too. It seems like a lot of the pain stories are babies not latching correctly. Or maybe pumping at the beginning hurts as bad, people just don't do it as much so you just don't hear those stories as much. Ideally I would like to change back and forth between using a bottle and nursing, but I so realize introducing a bottle early may make her only want a bottle.
And I am on team, fed is best. Everyone knows what works out best for them and their family and that's the most important
My kid had no problem switching between bottle and breast BUT if I was anywhere near she would refuse the bottle. I would call on the way home and H would be like hey circle the block so she'll finish the bottle. I fucking HATED pumping and thought it was way harder on my boobs than nursing, once we had done away with the nipple shield. Eta: my kid probably had no problem with a bottle because she was used to the shield. We dropped the shield around the same time I went back to work because she latched successfully.
In my experience, pumping didn't hurt as long as you had the right suction and correct sized funnel thingies. Sorry, I'm drawing a blank on what they are called.
In my experience, pumping didn't hurt as long as you had the right suction and correct sized funnel thingies. Sorry, I'm drawing a blank on what they are called.
So I should probably get nipple shields too then. I like the idea of certain parts of pumping, more that I would feel better having some milk on hand if I needed to leave or if something happened to me. But, I see how EBF would be easier without having to clean everything, make a bottle, etc. So many decisions, ugh!
Re: Ask a STM: November Edition
+1 to mirror. I didn't have one in the beginning and my daughter hated the car so we were constantly wondering if she was okay. We bought one and it ended up being one of my favorite purchases.
And s a big +1 to breastfeeding. I hate the shaming that goes on. Some people have magical experiences and others don't. Your nurses carry a lot of weight in this area- they can hurt or help the breastfeeding experience. I did not breastfeed and my dd is perfect, I will try with this next little one but if it doesn't happen I won't stress out about it. And I refuse to have anyone talk about the fact that formula feeding isn't good enough for my baby.
I've never heard of someone not being offered formula if they simply can't BF though. I would hope all health professionals just want a fed baby and would provide you with samples and all of that if you're having a hard time.
I dont even know what I ate as a baby.. my DH was solely formula though, I do know that.
I went to formula in the hospital. Just the thought of BF sent me into anxiety... but I had a really problematic pregnancy, undiagnosed Anxiety, slightly rough birth and a baby with horrific reflux (like a NICU doctor was called to evaluate her). Everyone was super supportive and never gave me anything but support.
I am looking forward to trying BF this time but I have no idea how it will go.
Ever since I was a teenager i had decided I was going to BF. The reason being that out of 4 kids, i was the only one my mom did not BF and I'm also the sickest out of all of us. Since i can remember, I got sick all the freaking time. And I still do.
And it's so frustrating when people around you don't understand why the fuck I'm so "sickly."
I know it's irrational but that's what I blame it on even though I have no evidence.
I just want my baby to have the best possible immune system.
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
I have seriously considered it for this time. But I think I am going to still try to pump and see how it all goes down. But if things change and I decide to FF from the get go and they give me a problem, I will tell them to shove it.
But because I'm stubborn AF, I was determined to do it. ( and we were broke and formula is expensive). I used a nipple shield for 3 months until she could latch herself and then it was smooth sailing.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Ladies, by no means was I putting down FF. As I said, i know I'm being irrational by blaming my health on lack of breast milk but it's just something I've gotten stuck in MY head. I guess, psychologically, I need something to blame for the difficulties I've had growing up.
I, too, know a LOT of people who were EFF and they are healthy as can be, now.
My one sister had to supplement her kids because for whatever reason she didn't have a big enough milk supply. Her kids are doing great!
I'm just saying, I know I will have a hard time coping if I have to FF just cuz how I've set my mind since I was a teenager.
Absolutely no offense to anyone.
I think sharing experiences is fine, as long nobody starts spouting any sanctimonious bullshit.
Is e.p.ing not considered breastfeeding?
(Real question)
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
+ 1 to don't be a sanctimonious asshole. Fed babies and happy moms are best.
andplusalso, DH was FF since day 1, and I was BF since day 1. But I am overall much, much sicker than him throughout the year.
Just kidding. But really- fed is best! Both of my kids were bf for a year, one gets sicker far easier than the other one does, and I don't think it would have been any different had we ff. Honestly sometimes I wish I'd had someone in my life when ds was a baby to tell me it was ok to quit bf if I felt that was best for us. You still will bond with baby, you're still feeding for them, you still love them just as much. Mentally I think I would have been in a much better place as I had a really rough first 6 months of bf with him that took its toll on me. I decided to try again with dd and had a totally different experience the second time. So that being said- if it was tough last time for you, that doesn't necessarily mean it will be the same this time, but it's also 100% ok to decide if it's not right for your family too.
I only have one person I kind of side eyed for not even attempting to nurse but it's because she wanted to immediately go back to pot smoking. But to each their own.
I also feel like exclusive pumping is the same as BF cuz baby's getting breast milk either way.
Also, I just had an interesting realization!! MAYBE it was the formula I was being fed! After all, this was while we were in India and who knows what the hell they put in their formula back then. o_O This changes things so much.
I doubt formula had anything to do with you being the way you are.
And I am on team, fed is best. Everyone knows what works out best for them and their family and that's the most important
I fucking HATED pumping and thought it was way harder on my boobs than nursing, once we had done away with the nipple shield.
Eta: my kid probably had no problem with a bottle because she was used to the shield.
We dropped the shield around the same time I went back to work because she latched successfully.