Bad Experience & Very Worried! **really long rant**

samyv

I apologize for the novel below. It's been a very long week! 

Hi Everyone,

This past week has been an extremely emotional one for us. On 10/13 I had my first 8 week appointment with my OBGYN. The appt went fine in the beginning where she asked questions about family history. We then moved into the exam room and she did a trans-vaginal US (which she was very rough with). Withing 3 seconds of being in there she asks are you SURE you didn't have a period in September? My heart sinks and I said ''I don't think so but I could be wrong". I wasn't keeping track of my periods because we didn't really officially start trying. 

She says "I'm not seeing much in here" and promptly pulls the stick out. She continues to say "this is a bad pregnancy. but i'm going to send you for another ultrasounds just in case i'm scaring you for nothing" and starts writing stuff down!!! My husband and I are in shock and I can't even think of anything to ask her. And she asks what my last period was. I told her from what I remember it was around August 12-15. But then I said I had a blood test on September 26th and my HCG levels were 3,600. While she took my blood, she says "oh, that's good to know. It looks like they were twins but this will be a miscarriage. I'm sorry." Before we knew it, she rushed out of the room! Again, my husband and I just sat there and tried to absorb what just happened. 

Of course I was devastated and spent most of that day crying. The next day I called the office 3 times to get my blood results. I was told my HCG levels were 24,211! This was 8 times more than the previous result 2.5 weeks ago. However, my progesterone level was 7.6. The nurse was really sweet and said after i get my ultrasound on Monday, they will know more. Most likely I will go on progesterone suppositories.

The whole weekend went by and on Sunday night I had light spotting. I wasn't concerned because it only lasted half and hour. On Monday we get the ultrasound, and the Radiologist told us there were 2 yolk sacs in the same amniotic sac. So, identical twins! She also said I look about 5 weeks which is why they can't see the babies. My husband and I were overjoyed. She explained that bleeding is common and to not worry.

I called my OB's office again and the nice nurse put me on progesterone suppositories last night. I am bleeding again. off and on spotting and regular bleeding. With small clots. I am very scared but the nurse said not to worry and that if i was miscarrying, the clots would be much bigger. Unfortunately, we are playing the waiting game and I will probably go for a 6 week ultrasound next week and hopefully a blood test this week to see if my progesterone went up. I'm hoping to be back and if I am, it will be in the July 2017 mommy board. I wish all the future mommies the best of luck and will be praying for all of you.  

chickyclg

Why in the hell would they wait to put you on progesterone!  Hormone imbalance can cause your progesterone to dip very low and cause a miscarriage.

Also I had a lot of bleeding with my twins and was told bleeding is never "normal" but is not uncommon in twin pregnancies.

I wish you the best of luck this week with keeping your mind busy and good results!

chickyclg

Also I would totally run and find a new OB.

Squirtgun

Oh my goodness, find a new OB asap!!!  I really hope that this is just a case of you having your dates slightly wrong. Either way, I can't believe an OB would have that kind of bedside manner!  That must be making an already stressful situation that much worse!  And I agree with @chickyclg, I don't understand why they wouldn't go ahead and out you on the progesterone now?  Ugh. Sorry you're going through this. Creepy internet hugs. 

samyv

@chickyclg Thank you so much for that information! It kind of makes sense now since I was on accutane for adult acne due to a hormone imbalance. As soon as I get the US next week, I am definitely looking for a new doctor! She was awful!

samyv

@Squirtgun thank you! Yes it is a very stressful. This is my first pregnancy and my husband and I are just learning. She knew were were first time parents too but had no empathy or courtesy towards us. 

kat81

I really hope you get a good result. And find a new OB (assuming you still need one).

I mean, what the hell: "this is a bad pregnancy. but i'm going to send you for another ultrasounds just in case i'm scaring you for nothing"

A better way to say the same thing: "I'll be honest with you--I am concerned by what I am seeing here based off of the dates you're mentioning. I don't want to scare you, but I also don't want to get your hopes up. We'll order another ultrasound so that we can be sure either way. I know this must be very scary for you and I'm sorry you have to go through this."

kat81

Also, why is it that so many health care professionals can't fathom the idea that someone can ovulate late? She asked "are you sure" about the date of your LMP but didn't ask if you had tracked ovulation or when you got your positive test (if you got it very early on then you couldn't be only 5 weeks along now; no test can show up positive before you actually ovulate!)

Ugh, I really hope that you get a positive outcome and I'm so sorry for their terrible bedside manner.

samyv

thanks @kat81! Yes she could have definitely phrased it differently. Honestly, the only reason I'm still calling there is because the nurse is so sweet and takes her time to explain everything with me. The nurse should been a doctor!

MamaMiller

@samyv I definitely would ditch the Doctor. Bedside is ridiculously bad- with having a twin pregnancy you will need more tentative care. Maybe ask around to friends and see if they have any recommendations. 

Kipperoo

I would definitely ditch that doctor...I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I don't understand how people with such bad bedside manners end up in the medical field. Especially dealing with hormonally charged and emotional pregnant women. 

schnitz9

All this sounds so wrong on the docs end.  Would def find a new one.  Can I ask when you got your BFP?  This will also tell how far along you were when you first found out and you can work your way back from there.  When dating a pregnancy is tough sometimes this helps.  Good thing was they saw 2 yolk sacs in the Gestational sac which means there is a pregnancy.  Its just stressful going from there.  Know exactly how you feel timing being up in the air, but again def ditch the doc.  If you are infact pregnant with ID twins that's gonna be a high risk pregnancy and I would want only the best that I can trust on my team and your doc def doesn't sound like they would make the cut. 

samyv

Thanks @Kipperoo and @schnitz9. I got my BFP on Friday Sept 23rd. and My positive blood test was on Sept 26th. The doctor never asked me these things I had to tell her. I'm pretty sure DH and I conceived labor day weekend. I told her these things but it's like she didn't want to listen. It felt like because she "didn't see much" she had already decided she was done with me. I am on progesterone right now since my level was low but we're definitely hoping for the best. It's so early and so much could happen in the next few weeks!

SKZW

I second and third everyone's comments. Consider the fact that if you stay with this practice, for the nurse's kind manner, and get another OB, who may or may not be awesome, and the nurse ends up not being there for the next 9 months, how would you feel? Honestly? Wouldn't you want an entire practice full of people with the best bedside manners you deserve? It's possible just this one doc is the bad apple and another might be night and day by comparison, and it's worth looking into, but a clean slate somewhere else might be better sanity-wise for you. (I'm glad to hear, though, that your hubbs was there with you to at least have some help during this experience.)

I'll be honest, this is my 2nd pregnancy and with my first, I would've felt adrift at sea if not for the factual info the doc gave me at each visit. My phone's notes app was full of Q&As and I always referred back to that for everything she told me. Having a solid partnership with your doc is really important, and I'm sorry you had to deal with this. It totally blows. Best of luck in the coming days!!

SP128

Yikes on the bedside manner!  I also went in for my 8 week u/s a couple of weeks ago and they couldn't find anything and said the sac was measuring 6 weeks instead....  The tech simply told me that I probably miscarried and my body absorbed the embryo!

I'm with everyone for maybe finding another practice that are kinder.  I think sometimes people who work in the medical field think it's just a job to them and become desensitized to really sensitive information.  It's still not an excuse though.  

Waiting is the hardest part.  Praying that you have a positive outcome.  Identical twins, how exciting!

nda_roxybabe

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this! Definitely find a new Dr. This is a big part of the reason I hated my old insurance and the crappy Dr's I could get with it. I told my husband I had to have my awesome Dr back when we TTC because so many have crap bedside manner!

vrj0522

Get a new provider ASAP! What a horrible way to treat a patient and they should've put you on progesterone as soon as they saw the low number. Sorry for the stress they have caused. FX that progesterone goes up this week and everything turns out fine with your babies. 

schnitz9

samyv said:

Thanks @Kipperoo and @schnitz9. I got my BFP on Friday Sept 23rd. and My positive blood test was on Sept 26th. The doctor never asked me these things I had to tell her. I'm pretty sure DH and I conceived labor day weekend. I told her these things but it's like she didn't want to listen. It felt like because she "didn't see much" she had already decided she was done with me. I am on progesterone right now since my level was low but we're definitely hoping for the best. It's so early and so much could happen in the next few weeks!

Ok so looking back they are estimating that you ovulated 9/16 and you received your BFP 7DPO and your blood positive 11DPO.  This could be correct.  Your numbers being high at 11DPO could account for twins and you may be someone who implants quickly.  If you had sex with-in 5-6 days of 9/16 this is an extremely possible scenario.  Studies have shown that sperm can live in a womens body up to 5-7 days. I was actually in almost the exact same situation except no twins.  It turned out I got pregnant with-in 3 weeks of a miscarriage and 5 day after hubby and I had sex. Got my Positive blood test at 9DPO.  I know this is seeming very technical for you, but wanted to hopefully ease your mind just a bit.  All of the later dates are very possible.  I was terrified at my first US and they said I was only 5weeks.  Was sure I was farther along and convinced for 10 days that there was something wrong.  Sure enough went for my next US at 6wks 3days and baby had grown and had a strong HB. Do they have you coming at 6 wks exactly?  You may want to give yourself a few extra days.  They say the heart will start beating by 6 wks yes but sometimes at exactly 6wks they still have a tough time seeing it.  Would hate for you to go back and they scare you again.  My doc suggested I give myself and extra 2-3 days because it really does make a difference.  Good Luck!

samyv

@schnitz9 Wow. thanks for the calculations! Yes t hat definitely does make sense. I am supposed to call the nurse tomorrow morning after she speaks with the doctor. I was told by the Radiologist to come back next week. Since I went yesterday, I will try to book for next Wednesday or Thursday. Thank you so much for your help, I do feel much better. 

samyv

@nda_roxybabe going through the same thing with insurance too. Thank god it's almost open enrollment. DH and I will be going through our policies and probably upping it to the highest one. 

@vrj0522 Thank you!

nda_roxybabe

Isn't it frustrating?! My work didn't provide (too small) and I couldn't even PAY for decent insurance. It was all crap. Got a new job, got some amazing new insurance, got pregnant.

samyv

nda_roxybabe said:

Isn't it frustrating?! My work didn't provide (too small) and I couldn't even PAY for decent insurance. It was all crap. Got a new job, got some amazing new insurance, got pregnant.

good for you! Mine is alright but it could be better. I long for the days I used to live in Canada. (married a New Yorker and moved here)

roper2617

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience! Wow I'm so shocked by that bedside manner. I hope the bleeding and spotting stop and you have a great appointment next week. 

mamatowildones

Wow I cannot believe the experience you've had! Hope everything starts to look up as you find a much better doc. 

schnitz9

samyv said:

@schnitz9 Wow. thanks for the calculations! Yes t hat definitely does make sense. I am supposed to call the nurse tomorrow morning after she speaks with the doctor. I was told by the Radiologist to come back next week. Since I went yesterday, I will try to book for next Wednesday or Thursday. Thank you so much for your help, I do feel much better. 

No problem.  Sometimes for me where I looked at all the calculations it made a bit more sense and made me feel much better.  I wish docs would explain it that way too.  Good luck and let us know how everything goes. 

samyv

**Update**

I have an U/S booked for next Friday the 28th. When I called the doctors office the nice nurse that I speak to all the time asked me how to progesterone was going. I told her I've been taking it but I asked if I should take another blood test next week to see if my levels went up. She didn't seem to concerned and said "I could if I wanted to"... shouldn't I know if the suppositories are working and if my hcg is still going up? I might be acting a little crazy but considering the rocky start we had, I think I have the right to sound worried. I went from being told I was having a miscarriage last week to having twins this week!! gah!!

mia1116

@samyv I'm so sorry you had a bad experience with your dr. I'm also having twins, and was put on progesterone suppositories immediately after my 6 week u/s. I had some brown spotting during week 5 and was told it's totally normal. FX that you get some good news on Friday. Twin pregnancy is stressful enough without terrrible bedside manner

samyv

@mia1116 thank you!! It's been really hard. I've been bleeding for a whole week now with a little bit of cramping on Sunday. I'm very nervous but trying to stay positive. I have a progesterone level check yesterday and an U/S scheduled for tomorrow. Hoping to hear two strong heartbeats tomorrow and then promptly switching doctors!

btw, I've read that progesterone suppositories can sometimes cause bleeding due to irritating the cervix. I'm hoping thats all that is!

mia1116

Yes, I read the same thing. I didn't have that, but I know some others that have.

Praying you see 2 heathy heartbeats tomorrow. Please keep us posted.

mia1116

Also, cramping is a totally normal symptom early. I know it's scary, but it usually means your uterus is growing. I had tons of cramping early and can tell you I'm 12 weeks pregnant with 2 very healthy babies.

looney-2

samyv said:

**Update**

I have an U/S booked for next Friday the 28th. When I called the doctors office the nice nurse that I speak to all the time asked me how to progesterone was going. I told her I've been taking it but I asked if I should take another blood test next week to see if my levels went up. She didn't seem to concerned and said "I could if I wanted to"... shouldn't I know if the suppositories are working and if my hcg is still going up? I might be acting a little crazy but considering the rocky start we had, I think I have the right to sound worried. I went from being told I was having a miscarriage last week to having twins this week!! gah!!

If you are using progesterone suppositories (as opposed to injections), it will not be reflected in your bloodwork  In addition, your hcg levels are already so high, and you're far enough along, that the levels don't really increase the same way they do in very early pregnancy.  For those reasons, you wouldn't really need another blood test.  Ultrasounds will tell you what you need to know from here on out.

samyv

dibsontop thank you for that. I just talked to my doctors office and they said my progesterone went down to 5.3! I am really upset and have moved my ultrasound up to 3pm today. Will update you all soon. Praying for a miracle here. 

mia1116

@samyv sending prayers for healthy babies

samyv

**update**
unfortunately, there was no heartbeat found. I should be around 6 weeks. The radiologist did see a fetal pole but she said there should be a heartbeat by now. Waiting to hear from my doctor tomorrow and probably going to go in for a D&C. 

chickyclg

Hugs, take care of yourself hun

mia1116

I'm so sorry! I was really hoping you were going to get better news. Take care of yourself. Big hugs

roper2617

I'm so sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself

vrj0522

I am so sorry! Hugs! 

SKZW

I'm so sorry to hear this.

KMD1106

I'm so sorry. Hugs to your family. 

MrsOry5

I'm so sorry! Thinking about you!