UO Thursday

sarah0985

Lets hear them ladies! 

sarah0985

I believe a path for euthanasia for humans should be legal. 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

This is probably more of a popular opinion, and if not, it should be.  I see it referenced on here and in mom fb groups as so commonplace. It drives me nuts.

I do not believe there is ever a safe or proper way to bed share with a baby.

ShadeofGreen816

@sarah0985 are you one of our nurses? As a nurse I 100% agree!! There are things worse than death. 
Also right on board with you @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot so many crushes today! 

I'm struggling to come up with my own UO but I'll come back later! 

Yiggle09

This UO is stemming from what almost happened in Montreal. Pitt bulls or those types of dogs are not the problem. No dog is born mean. it's the owner who failed if their animal acts inappropriately. I have been bit by a standard poodle on Halloween when the lady opened her door and I was bit in the face by a little dog half chihuahua when I was 6. I own a half Pitt half great dane my friend has a full Pitt and they are both the sweetest animals. 

tumbleweed-1

@Yiggle09- I totally agree. Poodles are mean. And small dogs are yippy. I was raised with a pit/lab mix and she was like Nana from Peter Pan. The best dog. 

My UO is that I actually like M. Night Shyamalan movies. Yes, all of them. Even "Lady in the Water", "The Village" and "The Happening" (those are the ones I hear getting the most hate). 

JonesBaby0624

I don't know how unpopular this will be but I am tired of the Creepy Clowns shit.  Even the teenagers in my class thinks it's stupid, so can we just move past it now?  Thank you!!

sarah0985

@shadeofgreen816 no I'm a teacher. I never had much of an opinion on the matter till my grandfather died last year. He battled cancer and other illnesses for many years and stayed strong till the very end. He decided this last go round (his 5th time of recurrence) he didn't want to do meds anymore. As a family we were distraught but supported him. In the end it wasn't the cancer the killed him though. It was 9 days of his body "hanging on" while he literally starved to death. He denied any feeding tubes or iv for hydration. I don't know if he would have picked it but I wish there would have been another option for him to even consider. 

Eta. I guess it wasn't as unpopular as I had assumed it may have been. 

onebadmotha

So far, I agree with every one of these UOs!

My UO: I often look through the current month's BMB to read/gush at the birth announcements and baby pics. It drives me nuts how often the posters say "S/he is breastfeeding like a rockstar!" when the baby is like a day old. 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

@Yiggle09 I agree.  I also think that every dog owner has a responsibility to train and handle their dogs. I lucked out that my dog required zero training in regards to people skills.  But I'm so annoyed when I go to someone's house and their very friendly large dog jumps all over me. I know he means well,  but his nails have drawn blood and put holes in at least 2 of my shirts.  If I'm showing up at your door with advance notice, the least you can do is get a handle on him until he calms down. And if your dog (regardless of breed or size) does have a temperament problem, then it's the owner's responsibility to get that in check too. Put him away when you have company or work with a trainer that can address the issue.  Basically, I'm annoyed with anyone who thinks that I should handle or deal with their dog's behavior.  Not my circus/monkeys.

WombThereItIs

@kayemjay2 I can kind of get the ridiculous breastfeeding comments on day 1 because my son was a nipple destroying monster from the start. By the time I tried to go to sleep at the end of day 1 I was bruised and bleeding and someone had to hold me down when he latched because of the pain. Some babies are seriously terrible nursers especially at first. 

My UO: I hate the "baby friendly" hospital trend and phasing out of nurseries except for sick babies. No matter how you give birth it is a very tiring and painful process and you need time to heal. You'll bond with your baby just fine without rooming in, moms should have the right to choose if they need time apart to rest and recuperate a little before heading home. 

Squirtgun

kayemjay2 said:

So far, I agree with every one of these UOs!

My UO: I often look through the current month's BMB to read/gush at the birth announcements and baby pics. It drives me nuts how often the posters say "S/he is breastfeeding like a rockstar!" when the baby is like a day old. 

Well, when daughter was born at 35 weeks and nursed immediately after being born, you'd better believe I bragged on her birth announcement here!  But, it's really unusual for a little one born that early to be able to nurse easily, so I don't know if I would have included that had she been full term. 

That line of thought made me think of my own UO!  It makes me really angry when people "wish the baby would just come already!" When they're like 30 weeks or something. I have never had a fullterm baby, and after thirty weeks my mantra becomes "stay in as long as you can, please baby please!"  I understand being uncomfortable, but preemies just have so many issues! (Some of which we are still dealing with a year later with my little one!) 

Kipperoo

kayemjay2 , I actually agree with you, but only because (at least in my case) breast feeding the first 3 days was not even really a thing because they need so little to get by. Things get real when you get home from the hospital and start fixating over every ounce and every feeding...but most first time parents don't know that.

WombThereItIs , I agree with you, too. I was fine with my first, but thinking ahead to this baby, it would be really nice to be able to send it to a nursery without guilt. The only time they took my son from me was to do some blood work, which in hindsight was crazy given how tired I was.

My unpopular opinion is that I have no intentions of moving my son from his crib OR potty training him before the new baby comes. He will be 2 years, 10 months when this baby comes. If he shows signs of willingly wanting to do either of those things, we'll give it a go. Otherwise, he may be sleeping in a sleep sack and crib all the way till kindergarten, haha...

bacorrea

Kipperoo said:

kayemjay2 , I actually agree with you, but only because (at least in my case) breast feeding the first 3 days was not even really a thing because they need so little to get by. Things get real when you get home from the hospital and start fixating over every ounce and every feeding...but most first time parents don't know that

I'm not really sure about your experience but I had to be breastfeeding every so often and had to write down how long DD nursed. She lost weight at the hospital and it's important to establish breastfeeding from birth. It's great to get started at the hospital where they are people that can help you. I think saying "breastfeeding isn't a thing the first 3 days" is not helpful and incorrect. There are a lot of FTMs on this board. 

Kipperoo

bacorrea--sorry, you are right, I should have been a little clearer in my response. Breast feeding for me went well enough the first few days, but mostly because the expectations around supply were a lot different those first few days than they are in the coming weeks. Meaning, the first few days might be great and easy, but that doesn't always translate to your overall supply. Many of the moms I know had similar experiences--leaving the hospital thinking they had breast feeding down, only to discover that supply and frequency became issues in the coming weeks when the baby was expected to eat more than a few teaspoons. The visual chart half way down this page explains what I'm trying to say a little better...
https://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/ 

mia1116

My UO, I hate when people brag about having an unmedicated birth. I don't think it makes me less of a woman because I wanted and had an epidural. To me it seems silly to endure all that pain when there's a safe alternative. I loved my epidural and I'm looking forward to it again this time.

Kipperoo

mia1116 , ME TOO. The moments leading up to my epidural were so awful--waiting 45 minutes on the doctor because some poor woman was about to deliver twins and needed her shot first. I can't imagine that pain continuing all through the birth willingly. I felt totally present at the birth of my child...I see no downside to an epidural and will remind myself to request one earlier next time.  

erinh2005

@mia1116 @Kipperoo I don't know about bragging. But I am very proud of my natural birth. There are some medical differences but not to say it should be the right choice for everyone. I think as long as the momma/baby do well everyone should be proud of their choice and ability to deliver however they choose or whichever path chooses them when the time comes! 

JonesBaby0624

@mia1116 totally agree!!!  I told my doctor "I am no one's hero and I have nothing to prove.  Give me the drugs!"

mia1116

@erinh2005 I'm not saying not be proud, but I know some people who flaunt it and look down on us meer mortals who went the medicated route. I can't imagine not being medicated for child birth in any situation that doesn't include an emergency where I didn't make it to the hospital.  

kat81

My UO: I don't like facebook announcements of births unless the person doing the announcing has already told all of their close friends and family first (in person or on the phone/Skype preferred), as well as anyone who can easily be told in person. I'm a little offended when a close friend notifies me via facebook instead of phone or even e-mail. I have nothing against cutesy social media announcements. I actually REALLY appreciate and love seeing these on facebook for acquaintances / less close friends or for people whose pregnancies I already know about. But I don't think it's the appropriate way to tell your main circle of people. I feel the same way about engagements. We got engaged before facebook existed and married before it was popular so we didn't have to deal with this "announcement" issue, but for our pregnancies it has been a challenge how to keep things off of social media before everyone who needed to be told separately got the information. I just think some people should get to know first, and putting the info on facebook doesn't ensure that happening (your best friends might not check facebook much, etc.)

I realized this might be an UO because it came up on another thread. I even did the awful thing of butting into someone else's business in order to mention it (but with 100% good intentions of trying to protect this person against people like me who could be hurt to hear about the pregnancy via facebook.)

To be clear -- I don't judge people who I don't know (like all of you) or acquaintances for engaging in this practice. But MY people (close friends, work friends, family) had better tell me before it goes to facebook.

sarah0985

@kat81 here here to that opinion!!! I live out of the country of my family and friends and I (and majority of my family) adhere to letting family know personally first.
In our situation, I generally do so through messages but my family will all know in some kind of personal way before anything public. I did the same thing when I moved overseas, when we got engaged, and will when we announce. 
My sister posted her engagement on Facebook as soon as it happened (I'm guessing she was so excited) and I was so sad to wake up (I'm 9-10 hours ahead) and see she was engaged and tons of acquaintances of hers knew before me. She seemed to have learned from her mistake as she personally told us all about her pregnancy. It wasn't a personal slight but it hurt nonetheless. 

clebl24

Kipperoo said:

kayemjay2 , I actually agree with you, but only because (at least in my case) breast feeding the first 3 days was not even really a thing because they need so little to get by. Things get real when you get home from the hospital and start fixating over every ounce and every feeding...but most first time parents don't know that.

WombThereItIs , I agree with you, too. I was fine with my first, but thinking ahead to this baby, it would be really nice to be able to send it to a nursery without guilt. The only time they took my son from me was to do some blood work, which in hindsight was crazy given how tired I was.

My unpopular opinion is that I have no intentions of moving my son from his crib OR potty training him before the new baby comes. He will be 2 years, 10 months when this baby comes. If he shows signs of willingly wanting to do either of those things, we'll give it a go. Otherwise, he may be sleeping in a sleep sack and crib all the way till kindergarten, haha...

@Kipperoo - my DS will be 2 yr 10 m for this baby too. He shows no interest in potty training. I'm not pushing the issue either.  

clebl24

My UO is that I'm not opposed to tandem nursing. My 2 year old still nurses. We've had success night weaning over the last week. He asks for it when he wakes up in the morning and I don't deny him. My whole family, including DH, think it is time to cut him off. 

pshaortao

@sarah0985 I feel you on finding out about an engagement the same way except it was with my SIL. And she had been engaged for a week before she announced on Facebook. Isn't that crazy?

MoshiMoshi7

Well, surprisingly, I agree with all the UOs today.

My UO is that I didn't like breastfeeding. I never felt like it was a bonding experience or this beautiful thing like a lot of people describe. I just wanted my body to myself again. I plan on BF number 2 as long as everything goes smoothly, but I'm not very excited about it.

tumbleweed-1

@clebl24 I hope your family doesn't give you too much grief for something you still want to do. I know lots of mothers who nursed their children still at two. Some even until 3 or 4. Instead of encouraging weaning, they let the child decide when they were done with nursing.
One of my best friends was prepared to nurse her daughter for as long as her daughter wanted to. He daughter was done at about one year and wouldn't nurse again. (she was also getting bottles and decided she preferred them, I guess) 

onebadmotha

@Kipperoo - Exactly! I feel like in most cases (obviously there are exceptions like @Squirtgun's awesome DD) the really challenging parts of breastfeeding don't take place in the first few days. Making it sound like everything is sunshine and rainbows so early irks me. Maybe it's unreasonable. I'm okay with that.

@kat81 - I agree! Before DS was born, DH had 2 text message groups on his phone. The first was strictly immediate family who were notified when we went to the hospital (they were sworn to secrecy at this point). The second included the first group, but also had close friends. They got a birth announcement with pictures when DS finally emerged. We waited until the next day to post anything on Facebook. We did call a few people in addition to the text, as I generally prefer that as well, but he was born at 1:00 AM on a weekday, so I'm not sure people would've been thrilled with that

@mia1116 - I definitely agree with that. I also hate the term "natural birth." I feel like that term, in and of itself, is pretty high-and-mighty. 

Kipperoo

MoshiMoshi7 , I agree with you. I 50% breast fed for the first 3 months with my son, but I never really enjoyed it and was really happy to have my body back to myself when I went back to work. I plan to give it a go with this baby, too, but I don't want to stress myself out the same way I did with the first and it's not something I'm looking forward to. I know some people really want to/enjoy breast feeding, which I obviously support--to each their own!  

Kipperoo

kayemjay2 , clearly dealing with pregnancy brain today...read your story about the texting re: your DS, saw the pic of the baby in your signature and thought, "oh, her son is so cute!...wait, that's definitely a girl and she said son...(re-read your story to make sure I wasn't crazy, scrolled back down)...oh right! Halloween costume fails. And that child is in a Hooters costume!" YIKES.

onebadmotha

@Kipperoo - Hahahahaha...that is awesome. Yeah, we decided against dressing our little guy as a Hooters server this year. Now I wonder how many people on TB think that's my child.

Crobe08

I agree, there is just too much that can go wrong! It's terrifying for me to consider!!

JonesBaby0624

@kayemjay2 I had to take a double take.  In my part of the country I automatically assumed Oklahoma State because of the orange.  Then I saw the Siggy Challenge.

Then when I was typing this response an ad came up in the background, which I couldn't see, but a man with a very deep voice started telling me "It's never too early to cross things off your list".  I just screamed in front my classroom full of students.  Pregnancy brain has taken over!!

chickyclg

I don't understand people that go all crazy over breast feeding and think breast milk cures everything.  

Also it might be UO to say I think the breast feeding relationship/bonding thing is a load of crap.  I never felt any closer to my kids while nursing and I think it's something that gets said purely to brag about the ability to BF.

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

I went through a variety of stages bf'ing.  Sometimes I loved it and thought it was a great bonding experience.  Sometimes I just wanted my body back.  I nursed until DD was 2, but it was just mostly before bed with no more day pumping during year #2. I was so ready to be done by her 2nd birthday.  I get super annoyed by the "breast is best" movement. However, I'm also OK with moms that our proud of the amount of time they put into BF.  Just feed your kid, that's really all that matters. 

kat81

BFing was completely hellish to establish with DS (#1), but because it was important to me I stuck with it and I ended up with an overall positive experience doing it with him. Ditto for DD, except without the hell of establishing it. So overall BFing worked for me and was rewarding.

But I agree with all of you who are saying it sucks when people force it on others, brag about it, etc. Why shame people who are feeding their babies another way? It's ok to be proud to BF, as long as you are offering support and praise to people who FF.

Likewise, there is no time you need to wean. Tandem nursing, especially for kids who are kind of close in age, sounds like a great idea. My DD took a long time to give up BF and was actually not even ready when I decided it was time to stop (it was time for me). She was 26 months. For a long time she asked to nurse every once in a while or said something along those lines. The most recent time was like a month ago! I'd consider letting her have a go at it again when the baby is born, but she'll be 3.5! I think she'll have forgotten how, for one.

Along these lines, I don't think that an upcoming baby means you need your current LO to meet particular milestones, particularly potty training. Having 2 in diapers is NBD, and definitely better than having a newborn and a half-trained toddler. It's also ok to have two kids in cribs. Though...a milestone you might want them to achieve is something like "not being carried everywhere." Come to think of it, I need to stop carrying my 3 yr old so much (also...she's 3!)

IvyMagic828

@bacorrea - it's normal and expected for breast-fed babies to lose weight initially - 7-10% weight loss over the first 5-7 days.  And it takes a few days for the milk to come in usually, so before that it's just small amounts of colostrum that they're getting.  That said, yes it is important to get baby latching and nursing often even if they don't take in much early on since all that stimulation helps the main milk supply to come in and become well-established.

@kipperoo and @clebl24 - mine will be 2 yrs 9 months and I have little desire to potty train or move him out of the crib either.  Status quo works for me right now.

Breastfeeding and bonding - it might be hard to appreciate that when your nipples are sore as heck and it sometimes seems like the baby is just using you for sustenance, particularly in the early weeks/months.. but I'm still breastfeeding my 2 yr old and it seems like he genuinely enjoy spending that time with me, not just for milk now (since it's just bonus at this point) but for the closeness of the experience.  This has become more apparent as time has gone on.  But, I don't really want to tandem feed so at some point soon I'll wean. He's such as active little guy that it's hard to get that quiet, calm, snuggly time with him any other way.

RissaAnnmaria562

I finally have one. I hate the whole "My kid does this, is it normal!?" "Why isn't my kid talking!?" "Does my child have some type of learning disability because he does this" I feel like as a society we are constantly comparing children to other children and assuming something is WRONG when they a behind, or because they aren't doing something. Everyone does it. Doctors do it. I mean they are the experts, but I hate that they are also comparing to other children. Children are individuals and learn to do everything at their own pace and I feel like with every new generation we expect more and more and we give more and more reasons/ excuses as to why they can't do something.

Abby7

My UO - I think it's messed up when kids have to have a screen to watch in the car. Car rides are a perfect time to settle the mind down and not have to be "doing" anything and to observe the world around them, and you're going to stick entertainment in front of them instead of giving them the benefit of that quiet time? Kids need time to think their own thoughts and to just be. If they've never had a screen, they have absolutely no sense of missing one.

OK I'm pretty much anti-screen at all times, if you couldn't tell, but the car screen is the one that bothers me the most.

Candy_bandit

In regards to breastfeeding- my girl was 4 weeks early and never latched,  I ended up exclusively pumping for six months.
my uo- I am seriously considering going that route again, compared to ladies I know who nursed I got so much sleep since anyone could feed her. I am kind of scared to do it naturally now because I cannot imagine never getting more that two or three hours of sleep at a time for a few months. 

SKZW

@Abby7
I totally agree with one catch. First, I agree totally! I have a neighbor who's backseat car screen is on ALL the time, and I mean, even 5 minutes down the road to the grocery store. The kid's constantly bombarded with the visuals and audios and it can't be good. Plus, he's kind of a brat about wanting to see EXACTLY what he wants to see, LOL. And it's pretty much trashy brainless shows/movies. So I agree, and it bothers me too. Here's my one catch. My LO gets horribly car sick. I mean, projectile-into-the-front-seat horrible. To stop and do cleanup on the side of the highway, it's so unsafe and scary, and sometimes we didn't have a change of clothes?! And then to have to drive with the windows open in the blazing summer or freezing winter for the smell, it's just ridiculous. For long car trips we specifically bought a DVD player to give focus to something besides all the landscape and traffic rushing past the windows. Oh, and the LO NEVER-EVER sleeps in the car. Not even during our 8-hour trips to visit family. Not even for a 10-minute catnap! This setup works for us because nothing else does. Just giving you another perspective. But I still totally agree too!