Ask a STM+ Week of 9/26

Carly79

On the matter of coats, I just found a coat that was a little large from Old Navy, not a specific maternity coat. It also wasn't a super heavy one and for winter in Iowa I need some warmth. However, being pregnant seemed to keep me warm and I would just supplement with an extra sweater or something underneath the coat. I would love a cute maternity coat but not sure it will happen since this is the last time I will need it.

emy730

Carly79 said:

On the matter of coats, I just found a coat that was a little large from Old Navy, not a specific maternity coat. It also wasn't a super heavy one and for winter in Iowa I need some warmth. However, being pregnant seemed to keep me warm and I would just supplement with an extra sweater or something underneath the coat. I would love a cute maternity coat but not sure it will happen since this is the last time I will need it.

I'm also in Iowa. Des Moines area.

cjs260

Do you *really* need black out curtains? We don't have curtains anywhere else in the house, so just putting up curtains in the nursery already bothers me. Do they need to be black out, or can they just be something that I make?

therealfrizzle

@emy70, I take Benadryl to help with my congestion from allergies. I had bronchitis for 6 weeks and the only things I was recommended to take were Robitussin (I was told I could do the decongestant but there's a drug in it that isn't recommended during pregnancy so I just went for the regular one) and Vick's vapor rub. It was miserable, but the Robitussin suppressed my cough enough for me to sleep and I think Vick's did a placebo effect.

ElleMF728

cjs260 said:

Do you *really* need black out curtains? We don't have curtains anywhere else in the house, so just putting up curtains in the nursery already bothers me. Do they need to be black out, or can they just be something that I make?

Yes.  Unless you want to put up aluminum foil or garbage bags up in the windows. Blackout curtains help with naps, they help with summer bedtimes when the sun is still up and they help with early morning wake ups as well.  Infant sleep cycles and circadian rhythms are greatly influenced by light exposure. You can try without and cross your fingers for a unicorn, but if you end up with a normal baby then you will probably be happy you have the shades. 

Carly79

@emy730 I'm in Cedar Rapids

karaelaine1991

cjs260 said:

Do you *really* need black out curtains? We don't have curtains anywhere else in the house, so just putting up curtains in the nursery already bothers me. Do they need to be black out, or can they just be something that I make?

I'd say it varies from baby to baby but I'd just get the black out ones and be done with it.  I got pretty green curtains for DD's nursery but they were not black out ones, and by the time she was 6-7 months old, nap time did not happen if there was any light in her room.  Black out curtains entirely solved the problem. I wish the ones I got had been prettier but I needed them ASAP and just got the first ones I found.  Maybe your baby won't need them, but if they do and you don't get them now, that's a second set of curtains you may have to end to getting...

kashock-2

@cjs260 I've never had curtains of any kind in the nursery and DD has had three different rooms. No curtains.  I didn't know it was a thing. I guess it depends on the baby?

ETA: there were always blinds.

BriannaE129129

The room we plan on using for a nursery has a skylight... so I guess blackout curtains are a no? Unless there is some way to purchase a shade for it? 

This thread keeps giving me all new things to think about that I hadn't before!! 

katesmama0706

@cjs260 yeah it varies from baby to baby but it's also in what your baby gets used to. My SIL sleep trained her babies with blackouts and now as toddlers they cannot sleep anywhere that isn't pitch black. We just used a light weight curtain and DD sleeps just fine, bedtime at 6:30 and up at 6:30 no matter if the sun is up or not. She also naps fine during the day. I'd start without and then if you find your baby doesn't sleep well then as they get older then add them. 

katesmama0706

@BriannaE129129 I wouldn't worry about it. Your baby will be used to it being in their room and may even like it being there.

BriannaE129129

@katesmama0706 thank you. I love it and plan to put the glider right under it for nighttime feedings while looking up at the stars (If only my visions of how perfect and calm it would be would come true )

susykat77

@nolemama24 I had a LEEP done in 2004. I actually spotted before every period after that for 8+ years. Also because of that procedure I have been monitored every 2 weeks by maternal fetal medicine to ensure that my cervix is not shortening. I guess it is a possibility that the procedure can compromise the cervix causing an incompetent cervix. So far mine has been just fine.

moosette113

Wholesome said:

I've run across a place that does coat extenders for maternity.  Makemybellyfit.com

i didn't need to buy maternity coats last time around and I live somewhere with pretty cold winters.  One perk of having big bazoombas is your coats usually have enough bagginess in the stomach because they have to be sized big enough to fit your chest.  When I was term, my belly didn't go much past my chest.  That's one thing that sucks - it takes a long time for you to look pregnant vs having a big beer belly because you never really pop until the last few weeks.

Sorry to sidetrack from all the awesome advice, but so much YES to the bolded. I haven't tried my winter coat on yet, but I'm hoping my chest didn't grow enough to force me into a new jacket. I wish they made boob extensions for coats  independent of pregnancy.

karaelaine1991

katesmama0706 said:

@cjs260 yeah it varies from baby to baby but it's also in what your baby gets used to. My SIL sleep trained her babies with blackouts and now as toddlers they cannot sleep anywhere that isn't pitch black. We just used a light weight curtain and DD sleeps just fine, bedtime at 6:30 and up at 6:30 no matter if the sun is up or not. She also naps fine during the day. I'd start without and then if you find your baby doesn't sleep well then as they get older then add them. 

I don't think it's entirely conditioning... DD never napped in pitch dark rooms before we got her black out curtains, but at 6-7 months it was like a switch flipped and she needed darkness.  I thought our pediatrician was a little nuts when she suggested it because DD had never needed darkness before but then sure enough, that's what happened. Babies are weird. 

ElleMF728

katesmama0706 said:

@cjs260 yeah it varies from baby to baby but it's also in what your baby gets used to. My SIL sleep trained her babies with blackouts and now as toddlers they cannot sleep anywhere that isn't pitch black. We just used a light weight curtain and DD sleeps just fine, bedtime at 6:30 and up at 6:30 no matter if the sun is up or not. She also naps fine during the day. I'd start without and then if you find your baby doesn't sleep well then as they get older then add them. 

I was determined that DS1 was going to nap without the quiet and pitch black as well.  He originally had beautiful, sheer curtains in his nursery.  I wanted him to be able to adapt to new environments and not have to worry about noises etc. His response was just to not nap at all...ever. I have one kid who needed/needs strict routines and a consistent environment, the other one is super adaptable and will fall asleep anywhere despite doing the same things with both of them. It's just who they are.  

mommy2ane

cjs260 said:

Do you *really* need black out curtains? We don't have curtains anywhere else in the house, so just putting up curtains in the nursery already bothers me. Do they need to be black out, or can they just be something that I make?

It just depends on your baby. At our old house, we ended up getting them for nap time since he'd nap at daycare and not at home. But really, I think he just needed us to be more consistent about his naps. We left them behind when we moved and he's just fine without them.

Another thing is that sometimes it is conditioning. He's used to falling asleep in the dark and the first night he was in his new room, we plugged in the nightlight (thinking he'd be scared) and it was like he thought it was time to play. We took it out and he falls asleep just fine. 

nolemama24

@susykat77 very interesting! Actually now that I think about it, when I asked my original gyno what the risks involved are, she did mention the shortened cervix thing, but that was a very low risk. I definitely feel like the benefits outweigh the risks & I am not freaked out to get it done. The last time I went to my OB she made me feel a little bad because I didn't do the LEEP right away, so I am curious to see how soon after I give birth that I can get it done. I honestly would rather have normal paps from here on out!

nolemomma14

We just had regular blinds in the nursery and it worked well enough. There was only one window in the nursery and it never seemed to get too bright. 

The new nursery has 2 windows and seems to get more light so we will start with just blinds and see if anything additional is needed. 

katesmama0706

Apparently I've been told haha my personal philosophy on sleep crutches (blackouts, sound machines, rocking to sleep, etc) is to start with as few as you can get away with. If you find your baby is a crap sleeper then add them as needed, one at a time, but if you start out with a routine that includes nursing and rocking to sleep then sleeping in a room that is pitch black and silent except for a sound machine it just makes life harder as far as the baby gets older. And of course every baby is different so take that all as you will.

AshleySparkle720

cjs260 said:

Do you *really* need black out curtains? We don't have curtains anywhere else in the house, so just putting up curtains in the nursery already bothers me. Do they need to be black out, or can they just be something that I make?

Nope we never did black out curtains. It's good for them to learn to fall asleep in any environment.

ThePax89

@cjs260 e's nursery would be scorching hot without them. I was also blessed with a non sleeper...so necessity for us? Yes. 

Wholesome

I just had cloth drawstring blinds and cute colored curtains.  We had to buy blackout curtains.  It was getting way too hot in his room (we get full sun on the front of the house all day) and the light was keeping him up.  We have grommet curtains so I just layered the blackout grommet curtains behind the cute ones - it isn't a perfect match but I don't know how to sew so it just has to work for us.

newyearsbaby5

Did any STMs have their nausea/food aversions come back in the third tri? Is that a thing? Lately, my sense of smell has been crazy (mostly smelling things that smell horrible, like someone's breath from the opposite side of a conference room table) and today I dry heaved for the first time in two months after taking my prenatal vitamin. Haven't had nausea since 16 weeks and food aversions went away at 20 weeks, but these things are making me worried they're not gone forever. Tell me it's just a fluke? 

BriannaE129129

Maybe it's just me but I've had food aversions since I first got pregnant and I'm almost 25 weeks and I still have them... never had morning sickness but there are SO many foods I want nothing to do with! Not a fan haha

emy730

newyearsbaby5 said:

Did any STMs have their nausea/food aversions come back in the third tri? Is that a thing? Lately, my sense of smell has been crazy (mostly smelling things that smell horrible, like someone's breath from the opposite side of a conference room table) and today I dry heaved for the first time in two months after taking my prenatal vitamin. Haven't had nausea since 16 weeks and food aversions went away at 20 weeks, but these things are making me worried they're not gone forever. Tell me it's just a fluke? 

Mine never really went away last time, and I'm 23ish weeks now, with very little relief, so it's probably going to be here in third tri as well. "Morning" sickness is a weird, awful thing and is unfortunately totally normal.

ThePax89

@newyearsbaby5 yes. The closer I got to the end, the more I felt sick and tired like the beginning. 

laujam31

For those of you that are third time moms and #1 and 2 are going to be sharing rooms when #3 comes, when are you moving them in together.  I have a 2 yr old ds and a 3.5 year old ds.  I've been saying October and I just realized that's this week.  So maybe November???? lol  Thoughts?

stumptownmama

Tell me your favorite way to organize your photos and memories of your LOs. I should have a system down by now since DD is almost two. But my photos are mostly in folders on the computer. I get really overwhelmed with figuring out what to print and  what to put in a book so I just don't do it. But I need to figure it out!

emy730

underthesea said:

Tell me your favorite way to organize your photos and memories of your LOs. I should have a system down by now since DD is almost two. But my photos are mostly in folders on the computer. I get really overwhelmed with figuring out what to print and  what to put in a book so I just don't do it. But I need to figure it out!

I exclusively use my phone to take pictures, so I use Groovebook and get a book of photos each month. It's awesome!

katesmama0706

I'm a shutterfly devotee. I can upload to albums by month directly from my phone, if I don't plan on printing or booking it I don't upload. I do books by year typically but I also did a baby book of photos and stats from DD's first year, I just used my Pampers Rewards for my 2015 book and DD's baby book. 

stumptownmama

@emy730 I've been interested in groovebook. I'm glad to hear you like it. 
@katesmama0706 Im working on a shutterfly book for DDs first year. Then I think I'll do family yearbooks. 

karaelaine1991

underthesea said:

Tell me your favorite way to organize your photos and memories of your LOs. I should have a system down by now since DD is almost two. But my photos are mostly in folders on the computer. I get really overwhelmed with figuring out what to print and  what to put in a book so I just don't do it. But I need to figure it out!

I use shutterfly both to organize and to share photos- we don't post pictures of DD on social media for privacy and safety reasons.  Shutterfly is great because I can specifically choose who has access, the people with access can download and print as they like, and if I find out that someone has disrespected our very well-known wishes regarding social media, they're no longer included in my list of people who get pictures.  I also print yearly family photo books every year for our anniversary.  I used to print out the pictures themselves but I do not have time to scrapbook and I don't have storage for heaps of photo albums, so I figure I'll just catch up on that later.  

therealfrizzle

The other day, on DH's day off, I couldn't get a hold of him for 4 hours. I messaged and called relentlessly since he's my ride and I was trying to tell him of a schedule change. Everything was okay, he just lost track of time and had his phone charging in another room. But it made me wonder: what if he becomes unreachable when I go into labor due to work, not being near his phone, losing track of time, etc.?

Have any STMs experienced not being able to get in touch with SO and how did you handle that? I have my mom and close friends nearby should it happen so getting to the hospital isn't a high concern, but I never thought there'd be a possibility that I'd go into labor and be in the hospital without DH for a few hours and I don't really want anyone else in the L&D room.

Carly79

@PMForbie Not related to labor but a couple months ago my son was having some difficulty breathing due to a cold. My husband was at the gym and doesn't keep his phone on him while lifting. I had tried a breathing treatment with no luck and decided I wanted to take DS in to the ER. I had to look up the number to his gym and call and thankfully the desk was staffed and they tracked him down. Otherwise it's just leaving messages and hoping for the best. He also doesn't carry his phone to meetings with him at work, it just sits on his desk. I've talked with him about it and really stress keeping it on him at all times and that I prefer for him to charge it overnight if it needs charging.

When DS was born, as we got closer to EDD (I'm thinking around 34/35 weeks) he got much better at always having his phone on him and making sure he told me he had it. I think for some it's a mental thing and when it gets closer it starts to get more real.

However, there is always the possibility that he won't be reachable when the time comes. I think just having a backup plan just in case isn't a bad idea. My parents are about a mile away from me so with DS, they were my backup plan if I needed a ride and DH wasn't available. I kind of feel like, if you've planned for it you won't need it but if you don't have a backup plan that's when it will be needed (I know that's not how it really works but it makes me feel better).

TinaBelcher

@PMForbie my H is awful at having his phone on him, he always forgets where he put it and turns it off for full days while shooting. Until Monday  when I had to go to triage for fluids and he saw that contraction monitor shit got real! He did end up going on his business trip late but read his crew the riot act re: quiet on the set / no phones except for him because of the babies end of discussion. I've never in my life heard him so forceful and unyielding as that conference call lol! (He's very mild and introverted usually) We'll see if this lasts 

So I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that as we get closer and shit gets real for your H he gets better with his phone/ communication too!

edit for mobile spellcheck ::eyeroll::

ThePax89

@PMForbie DH isn't great with the phone. I made sure to have another way to reach him. I know a colleague of his who would track his ass down. Also, when it comes close to baby time, they start to deal better. Close to the end I would get irate if he didn't answer immediately. 

katesmama0706

@PMForbie my DH works in construction so he's not always available right away and in fact last time when my doctor called and was like "get in here right now, we're inducing you today!" I called him and couldn't get him immediately and by the time he called me back (I think it took maybe 5 minutes) he couldn't get a hold of his boss to let him know he was leaving a job site in the middle of a job. My defense is that I have his boss's number and his boss's wife's number and a few of his co-worker's numbers that I can call and hopefully get someone! But like PP said as I got closer to my due date he was way better about answering if I called, especially if I called more than once in a row. 

therealfrizzle

I think after my freak out with him the other day (pretty emotional after the third hour of no contact with all the possible horrible things that could have happened), he's going to try to be better. Only problems: his phone sucks, so he doesn't get text messages and calls aren't always reliable, which we remedied by using FB messenger that he has on his 3 devices, or he's in the middle of a sale where he can't get his phone. But @ThePax89, I think I'll have him get me a manager's or front desk number that I can blow up when the time comes thanks for the idea!

Carly79

Definitely a good idea to have coworker/managers/receptionist numbers that you can call if needed. Someone is likely to know where he is and track him down, even in a meeting.