WTF Wednesday 9/21 - Page 2 — The Bump
February 2017 Moms

WTF Wednesday 9/21

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Re: WTF Wednesday 9/21

  • @teachermom2517 Ah! I know, my mom has major jealousy issues with my in laws. I'll keep you posted on the damage. It's not going to be fun. 
    sunshine2417
  • Oh my goodness! Haha, mamas be cray cray!! 
    @Patience7150 sounds like you have it a lot worse than I do.  I'm sorry. And ya, you're right that so many women would love to have their mom help out. My mom is different that way, though.  She wouldn't help. She's become a lazy bug in her older years.  All she wants to do is play with the baby.  One thing that really freaked me out about my mom.....when my sister had her son, at one point, my mom bit my nephew on his cheek. He was like 1.5 years old at the time.  I don't even understand how hard she bit him, but he ended up with a small infection on his cheek! Her explanation as to why she bit him...."he's just so adorable, I couldn't resist!" 
    Are you kidding me?!
    Omg, I mean whenever I see an adorable kid I say "omg I want to eat him!" But by no means would I or any of my sisters ever actually bite a child! Jeez! So ya, that incident really traumatized me.  

    @homemake major good luck to you on telling your mom about your MIL!! I feel for you, girl!


  • @TeacherMom2517 Eep - I know I can't speak for everyone, but as someone who doesn't have her mother around I don't think you sound bratty at all! Your reaction and feelings about your mother's intensity are completely fair. How does she expect you to get comfortable parenting with her hanging around for 1-2 months? Nothing like constant observation to prevent anyone from getting comfortable. 

    I don't have anything really helpful to say, but I hope you are able to have a fruitful conversation with her and that she ultimately observes the boundaries you set -- even if there's a little bit of pouting at first. Getting the time you want and need as a new family is the priority. She can suck it up this time around! 
    expandcontractkswiger06
  • Yup. It gives me the creepies thinking about it.  


  • Thank you @floatingelephy! It's hard because I know being a new parent is going to be hard and I feel awful complaining about someone wanting to help me, but I feel like there's a hard and thick line she's drawing between being helpful and causing more frustration and anxiety! Hopefully our little chat will go well--just gotta make a good plan! 
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • @TeacherMom2517 As someone who wants her mom there for a bit, you don't sound bratty to me AT ALL. I think healthy boundaries are necessary in all relationships and I think that's all you want. good luck!

    @AfKash your mom may win the "cray mom award" for the week-- she bit the baby and it got an infection? how is that even possible? how did she break the skin? why did she think that was okay? #somanyquestions
    scifichick09MrsP052909
  • I'm speechless at some of these mom/MIL stories. @TeacherMom2517 the line you mentioned between someone "helping" and causing anxiety is what's driving me nutso too. My mom is openly pushy and entitled, whereas my MIL is subtly manipulative and has the "poor me I'm a victim so I deserve special treatment" entitlement. It keeps me up at night figuring out ways to deal with them. Thankfully DH has stepped in to run interference for the rest of the pregnancy and new baby stage, but it still blows me away that either of them could possibly think they're being helpful by having such unrealistic expectations.

    I get their excitement, I do. But our new family has to come first and so far that's been an impossible transition for them.
    WinchesterGirlmusicinmysoul17scifichick09kswiger06

  • @AfKash your mom may win the "cray mom award" for the week-- she bit the baby and it got an infection? how is that even possible? how did she break the skin? why did she think that was okay? #somanyquestions
    Seriously, I have no idea.  My mom has bipolar and there's also something else wrong with her where she kind of acts like a kid.  She's very impulsive.  It's extremely important that she stay on her meds. There are so many questions I have for her in regards to so many things throughout my life, but she can't give an answer. She's an adult but sometimes you have to treat her like a child.  And the crazy thing is that she's actually very smart. If only she could tap that intelligence towards something positive.  Needless to say, it was tough growing up.  


  • Oh wow, all these mothers!! I'm so sorry all of you ladies are dealing with the mom-induced anxiety/stress. DH and I were talking about this last night, actually. My mom is going to be extremely upset when we don't want her in our house 24/7 after this baby is born. Or probably in the delivery room. I have no idea how to address this yet, other than trying to stick to my right now boundaries, and address it as it comes up. 
    Rainbow baby Dean is due 2/17/17!
  • Sorry for all the crazy moms! I think I'll have the opposite problem. As soon as DH goes back to work, I'll probably be all alone, just me and baby. Most of the time it's nice, but sometimes help would be awesome!
  • I forgot my WTF Thursday because of the crazy moms.... 

    Work's short term disability coverage is 60%, so that's cool. EXCEPT NOT. It's capped so low that I'll actually get 27% of my income. For 4 whole weeks. After paying for my full benefits cost, I'll bring home a whopping 4% of my income. What the actual hell.
    Me: 31  H: 32
    Married: 10/10
    EDD: 8/27/16  MMC 1/16
    Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
    TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
    EDD: 9/6/19
    Pregnancy Ticker
    expandcontractWinchesterGirlskiingstarkmusicinmysoul17
  • I forgot my WTF Thursday because of the crazy moms.... 

    Work's short term disability coverage is 60%, so that's cool. EXCEPT NOT. It's capped so low that I'll actually get 27% of my income. For 4 whole weeks. After paying for my full benefits cost, I'll bring home a whopping 4% of my income. What the actual hell.
    What the effing eff. I'm sorry that's so freaking lame.


     <3 DD1- Aug11 <3 o:) Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 o:) <3 DD2- Aug13 <3 <3 DD3- due Feb17 <3

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    skiingstark
  • @Lafreeman21 what state are you in?!
  • @PerraSucia Tennessee. It's just our STD provider/plan, they put a limit on pay at about $20/hr to receive full benefits.
    Me: 31  H: 32
    Married: 10/10
    EDD: 8/27/16  MMC 1/16
    Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
    TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
    EDD: 9/6/19
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @Lafreeman21 you have to be in one of the worst states as a pregnant working lady. I'm so sorry. It's bullshit. 
    skiingstark
  • I forgot my WTF Thursday because of the crazy moms.... 

    Work's short term disability coverage is 60%, so that's cool. EXCEPT NOT. It's capped so low that I'll actually get 27% of my income. For 4 whole weeks. After paying for my full benefits cost, I'll bring home a whopping 4% of my income. What the actual hell.
    Ahhh! This makes me so angry!


    skiingstark
  • Canada gets 50?!! If it wasn't so damn cold, I'd move there!


    joyful08
  • @skiingstark what's interesting about that chart is that it doesn't go into how much the benefits are. For example, Canada we get 15 weeks for maternity leave and then 35 weeks parental (which either parent can take), but it's 55% of your pay up to some capped amount per week - I think around $500? I'm fortunate enough to work in a place that will top my benefit up to 95% of my pay for the first 17 weeks. After that it will be the 55% afforded by employment insurance. I likely won't be able to take the full 52 weeks, because we can't really afford to lose 45% of my pay. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! Canada is definitely doing good things on the parental leave front, it's just interesting to consider how many weeks at what percentage of pay. I'm pretty sure most of those forward thinking Scandinavian countries are 80% or higher. 
    expandcontractmmg410625
  • blush64blush64
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
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    edited September 2016
    @AfKash we only get really cold in the winter. :) Edit 

    It might be changing to 18 months soon enough. It might be a bit unpopular but I really think every country needs to have something in place for parents to have time at home with their children if they want it.

    Edit It does suck that it isn't full pay but it's a start. And for people making less than $150, 000 a year you do get child benefits each month. 
    expandcontractjab3-2poofwok
  • @skiingstark what's interesting about that chart is that it doesn't go into how much the benefits are. For example, Canada we get 15 weeks for maternity leave and then 35 weeks parental (which either parent can take), but it's 55% of your pay up to some capped amount per week - I think around $500? I'm fortunate enough to work in a place that will top my benefit up to 95% of my pay for the first 17 weeks. After that it will be the 55% afforded by employment insurance. I likely won't be able to take the full 52 weeks, because we can't really afford to lose 45% of my pay. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! Canada is definitely doing good things on the parental leave front, it's just interesting to consider how many weeks at what percentage of pay. I'm pretty sure most of those forward thinking Scandinavian countries are 80% or higher. 
    Same thing for Germany. They say 14 weeks, but that's 6 weeks before birth and 8 weeks after birth, both at 100% pay. Then you get the rest of the first year of your kid at 65% of your pay if you were working. And if your salary is too low so that 65% of it falls under a certain amount, it's automatically stocked to that minimal amount.
    Also, you can take 14 months off instead of 12 months, but 2 months of that have to be taken by the partner (usually the dad). And if you choose to go back to work part time before the 12 months are up you can spread the maternity pay out over three years.
    And don't get me started on the unpaid mat leave laws....
    The original: Aug2013
    The remix: Feb2017
    The encore: coming Oct2019

     
    expandcontract
  • @skiingstark what's interesting about that chart is that it doesn't go into how much the benefits are. For example, Canada we get 15 weeks for maternity leave and then 35 weeks parental (which either parent can take), but it's 55% of your pay up to some capped amount per week - I think around $500? I'm fortunate enough to work in a place that will top my benefit up to 95% of my pay for the first 17 weeks. After that it will be the 55% afforded by employment insurance. I likely won't be able to take the full 52 weeks, because we can't really afford to lose 45% of my pay. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! Canada is definitely doing good things on the parental leave front, it's just interesting to consider how many weeks at what percentage of pay. I'm pretty sure most of those forward thinking Scandinavian countries are 80% or higher. 
    Same thing for Germany. They say 14 weeks, but that's 6 weeks before birth and 8 weeks after birth, both at 100% pay. Then you get the rest of the first year of your kid at 65% of your pay if you were working. And if your salary is too low so that 65% of it falls under a certain amount, it's automatically stocked to that minimal amount.
    Also, you can take 14 months off instead of 12 months, but 2 months of that have to be taken by the partner (usually the dad). And if you choose to go back to work part time before the 12 months are up you can spread the maternity pay out over three years.
    And don't get me started on the unpaid mat leave laws....
    :love: :love: :love:
    I am in awe of these policies.  


    skiingstark
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