Hi ladies, sorry this is late but we got back to town about 2 hours ago and I've been on autopilot all day. We had the appointment at 1pm and everything went normal, until the ultrasound tech couldn't find a heartbeat on Baby A. Having been laying on the bed with the ultrasound probe rubbing my tummy I, like all of you, have figured out what they are looking for. She started with him and said he was just laying in a weird position and she would go back to him. She checked B and everything with him was good. She finally went back to A and I saw where his little heart was, was no longer moving. My Mom of course asked her if everything was okay and she said "I can't say anything for sure." So I looked at her and said "Please, I've been waiting for 30 minutes for you to tell me anything on him. He's gone isn't he? This is completely off the record." And she let me know that she couldn't find a heart beat and there was no activity in his body anywhere. She had to go get the doctor, who was not the one who performed the surgery, but another guy. He then checked the pictures and my tummy and let me know that my little one had passed. They figure it happened within the last 24 to 48 hours since he still appeared intact. We now have to watch his brother because now there's a risk that his blood pressure could drop causing him to have brain damage, which today he didn't show any signs of. My little mans heart just gave up and now his brother and I have an angel watching over us.
I honestly don't know how to handle this. I had to call my boss and let her know I would not be in tomorrow and when I explained to her why, she said "At least you didn't lose both." Which I am extremely grateful for but is still not something to say. I lost my child and I can't help but keep feeling like it's my fault. Maybe I should have taken it easier, maybe I should have went to the ER when I felt back pains, maybe I should have demanded to stay in the hospital longer after surgery. I just don't know. I'm a complete disaster but I know I have to hold it together because I still have a little boy inside of me depending on me. I know my little man was greeted with open arms at heavens gates by my Grandparents. Thank you guys for all of your support and love, it means more to me than anything.
I know there are no words that will help you at this time, but know you're in our thoughts and prayers. I think it's beautiful how you are handling this and you're right, you have an extra angel looking over you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I been lurking since my miscarriage and I just want to say how sorry I am you are going through this. My words won't change the pain but know you're in my thoughts and prayers. Your boss was so insensitive, your lose isn't less painful just because there is a surviving twin. I pray he continues to do well and that somehow you can find peace and somewhat enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Sending Internet hugs
Oh @alexxapplepiee I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't even know you and I've got tears on my keyboard. My thoughts and prayers are still with you.
@alexxapplepiee I am so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself. Prayers for you and your husband as you grieve for baby A, and prayers for baby B for the best possible outcome from here.
I am so sorry to read this. It's not your fault, you did everything you were told and we all know how much you love both of those boys. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and if there's anything you need you know we are here. Hugs, mama.
I am so very sorry to hear this. My heart is breaking for you. You will be in my T&Ps during this difficult time. Hoping Baby B pulls through. ::Hugs::
Me: 27 - DH: 33
Married: June 2011
TTC #1: January 2016
BFP #1: February 22nd
2016 MC w/ Misoprostol: March 21st 2016 -Blighted Ovum
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby. I am hoping and praying so much for you that you are able to hold healthy, strong Baby B in your arms in the coming months.
I am so heartbroken to read your update this morning. I will be praying for you today. Please show yourself grace, and know you did absolutely everything you could have done to fight for that little angel. I absolutely believe he's in a beautiful place looking down on his mom and brother today
I am so sorry to read this update. I cannot even imagine the mixture of emotions that you must be going through. You absolutely have an angel watching over you and that precious little boy still growing inside of you. All of my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband during this incredibly difficult time.
Me 29 I DH 28 Married in April 2007 One Furbaby - Adorable Pitt Mix 15 Months TTC....2nd Cycle of Letrozole - Success! Expecting our first two little miracles - Boy/Girl Twins! - EDD March 3, 2017 High Risk Pregnancy - Type 1 Diabetic; Hypothyroidism; Di/Di Twin Pregnancy
I am so so sorry for your loss and the grief you are experiencing, still praying for Baby B. You are so brave to share all this with us and I admire your bravery! Hugs!
oh sweetie.... I am so so so sorry to hear this.. stay strong for your baby B. stay strong.... I wish I can be there to give you to the longest and biggest hug ever.. I am lost in words of what I can say, I know nothing can make this feel better. Stay strong love.
I'm so so sorry for your loss and for the awful comments made by your boss. Sending prayers and healing light to you and your DH during this trying time. Be kind to yourself.
Breaks my heart to read this this morning. Sorry your boss was so insensitive, and please take it easy on yourself. Keeping you and Baby B in my thoughts and prayers.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
Re: Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome *TW*
Sending you all of the positive vibes and hope for your sweet boys!
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
baby #4 due March '17!
SaveSavevia GIPHY
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
I honestly don't know how to handle this. I had to call my boss and let her know I would not be in tomorrow and when I explained to her why, she said "At least you didn't lose both." Which I am extremely grateful for but is still not something to say. I lost my child and I can't help but keep feeling like it's my fault. Maybe I should have taken it easier, maybe I should have went to the ER when I felt back pains, maybe I should have demanded to stay in the hospital longer after surgery. I just don't know. I'm a complete disaster but I know I have to hold it together because I still have a little boy inside of me depending on me. I know my little man was greeted with open arms at heavens gates by my Grandparents. Thank you guys for all of your support and love, it means more to me than anything.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
baby #4 due March '17!
Me: 27 - DH: 33
Married: June 2011
TTC #1: January 2016
BFP #1: February 22nd 2016 MC w/ Misoprostol: March 21st 2016 -Blighted Ovum
BFP #2: July 6th 2016 EDD: March 15th 2017
M17 October Siggy Challenge: Animals in Costumes
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
Married in April 2007
One Furbaby - Adorable Pitt Mix
15 Months TTC....2nd Cycle of Letrozole - Success!
Expecting our first two little miracles - Boy/Girl Twins! - EDD March 3, 2017
High Risk Pregnancy - Type 1 Diabetic; Hypothyroidism; Di/Di Twin Pregnancy
SaveSaveEDD: 3/13/17
EP: 2.17.2016
DS: 3.4.2017
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17