@huskymama725 Have you talked to him about your feelings? I get that the mom guilt is real, and we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. But he's just as much a parent as you are, despite the day job. It's totally acceptable for you to ask for help if you need it, and I bet he's actually glad to be able to help once in awhile since a lot of dads of newborns DO feel helpless due to the BF thing! I know my DH would.
@huskymama725 I definitely get what you're talking about. I've been so hesitant to ask DH for help during the nights, because even though he's home, he takes care of DS1 during the day so I can focus on LO. I will say, the couple of times I did accept his help, he did an awesome job and I'm so glad I let him take over for a little while! I think it's worth having a conversation, and letting him know you feel guilty, because he may be able to ease your mind some.
@Bookhousegirl@tisunge602 thanks ladies! I have mentioned it to him and he basically said he's happy to be able to do something because he usually feels like he can't, he just isn't too happy when I have woke him up but I guess no one really likes to be woken up. I'm sure being exhausted is causing me to take things extra personal
I used the nose Frieda on baby today and got two huge boogers. It was strangely satisfying.
To baby A, the world is ending. Her cries are so angry. To momma, what a sense of relief. All that milk booger has cleared out and I feel like I can breathe again.
Totally. Get. It.
Between this and when they have a good poop, I get real excited!
DH and I alternate nights so I get the mom guilt but I also look at it like, while yes he does have to go to work, I am home with both kids all day. It may be work, but he gets to leave the house and doesn't have a whiny toddler or baby attached to him all day. He gets to think about things other than when the baby had his last bottle and dressing DDs babydall for the 100th time because the baby doll needed yet another "bath". I love these kids and DH but mama needs her sanity and if DH has to take night duty sometimes then so be it lol. I will note DHs job isn't physical and he isn't out in the heat, if he was I would probably feel a little different.
We gave baby a bath tonight. I accidentally poured bath water over baby's face when I was rinsing her head. I don't think she swallowed a lot of water but her cry sounded very dry. She couldn't stop crying - shivering her lips and arms. I felt like the world's worst mom ever.
Then I googled and learned about dry and delayed drowning. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight in fear she runs out of breath or something.
Water was lukewarm but it had a little bit of soap in it from the cup we used. Her forehead got dry right away. Ugh, I hope she's okay.
We gave baby a bath tonight. I accidentally poured bath water over baby's face when I was rinsing her head. I don't think she swallowed a lot of water but her cry sounded very dry. She couldn't stop crying - shivering her lips and arms. I felt like the world's worst mom ever.
Then I googled and learned about dry and delayed drowning. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight in fear she runs out of breath or something.
Water was lukewarm but it had a little bit of soap in it from the cup we used. Her forehead got dry right away. Ugh, I hope she's okay.
Aw man Google is the worst. I'm sure she is fine. It probably just pissed her off more than anything. Being a FTM is no joke!!
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
We gave baby a bath tonight. I accidentally poured bath water over baby's face when I was rinsing her head. I don't think she swallowed a lot of water but her cry sounded very dry. She couldn't stop crying - shivering her lips and arms. I felt like the world's worst mom ever.
Then I googled and learned about dry and delayed drowning. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight in fear she runs out of breath or something.
Water was lukewarm but it had a little bit of soap in it from the cup we used. Her forehead got dry right away. Ugh, I hope she's okay.
I'm sure she will be ok. Google is a scary place sometimes. We took DD to the pool this summer and DH let her hand go when she was in a little too deep of water. She fell and her head went under. It was only for a second before he got her back on her feet, but to DH it felt like forever. He freaked out the whole rest of the day worrying about delayed drowning and feeling super guilty. DD was perfectly fine. In fact the experience scared DH more than DD. She got right back up and kept playing.
@Lynnlove28 I feel the same way!! DH and I take shifts and I don't feel bad about him having to go to work in the morning at all. Like you said yeah he has to go to work but that also means he gets a break, gets to socialize, gets to continue his normal routine. Where me on the other hand, there are some days that I don't even get off the couch till DH gets home because LO won't let me put him down. That means I don't get to eat, or shower, or brush my teeth, nothing. I'm grateful I get to stay home and spend all the time in the world with my baby but I also need to keep sane as well!
@BrunetteBabe722 Have you tried wearing the baby in a sling or baby carrier around the house during the day? That is the only way I got things done in the first few weeks since baby always wanted to be held.
I would just put him in a baby wrap and he would sleep or be calm while I did laundry, the dishes, walked around, etc. Made me feel like more of a human and at least got my blood pumping.
Now he'll sleep during the day in his crib, RnP, or swing, so you'll get there with time!
We gave baby a bath tonight. I accidentally poured bath water over baby's face when I was rinsing her head. I don't think she swallowed a lot of water but her cry sounded very dry. She couldn't stop crying - shivering her lips and arms. I felt like the world's worst mom ever.
Then I googled and learned about dry and delayed drowning. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight in fear she runs out of breath or something.
Water was lukewarm but it had a little bit of soap in it from the cup we used. Her forehead got dry right away. Ugh, I hope she's okay.
Dry drowning is the scariest thing to me this summer. DS1 is getting braver in the water, but still isn't great about closing his mouth completely, so basically every night I'm eyeing him before bed looking for symptoms.
I'm sure your LO is totally fine, but I definitely get your fear! Accidents like that happen all the time, don't be too hard on yourself!
@Bookhousegirl I had no idea that delayed and dry drowning even existed until last night! I thought of doing some pool activities with baby A before the age of 1 but now I'm not so sure...like how do I know water won't get in her tiny lungs?
@Bookhousegirl I had no idea that delayed and dry drowning even existed until last night! I thought of doing some pool activities with baby A before the age of 1 but now I'm not so sure...like how do I know water won't get in her tiny lungs?
I just learned about it last summer, and we have a pool in our back yard, which makes it so much scarier. I keep an eye on my kids for the rest of the day and night if anything scary happens in the pool, like a couple months ago my son got a mouth and nose full of water that he choked on, and I worried for the rest of the night. I worry every time my friends kids come to swim too, because one of her kids is so bad about keeping her mouth closed while swimming and chokes on water every time she's in the pool. It's been bad enough to make her puke. It's so scary. But her mom lets it continue so what do I do. Also, babies have a natural reaction to water and don't usually swallow it. I would definitely take a water class with her before 1 year. I plan to take Levi this winter for swimming lessons. I'm hoping to have this baby swimming by the age of 2. Kids are capable of amazing things.
Damnit. I just googled dry/delayed drowning. I never knew this existed! Yikes! Now I will be even more careful during bath time!
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@Bookhousegirl I had no idea that delayed and dry drowning even existed until last night! I thought of doing some pool activities with baby A before the age of 1 but now I'm not so sure...like how do I know water won't get in her tiny lungs?
I know, I hadn't either until I saw something on Facebook last year. The symptoms are so minimal too, that it seems impossible to determine! Like being sleepy?! Take any 2 year old swimming or to the beach for the whole day and they're bound to be sleepy! Ugh, being a parent is a minefield of anxieties.
Dry drowning scares the crap out of me too, especially with a child who thinks she can swim. We've done lessons but she is not doing it by herself yet. Way too courageous.
@alikay20 Glad she is sounding better today. Don't beat yourself up mama.
@BrunetteBabe722 I second baby wearing if you have a holder or sling. The K'tan and Solly wrap have been a lifesaver for me.
Mom Confession: DH only comes in to help during the night if the crying gets really bad. DH is also so much better at swaddling than I am (I am terrible; baby's hands are usually out before I even finish the attempt). Sometimes I secretly hope that the crying will get really bad so that DH will just come in and re-swaddle the baby.
I've yet to let crying happen just to get DH to come, but it's only a matter of time probably.
@entropicallyfavored my DH is so much better at swaddling than me too! I feel like I'm usually better at the baby stuff, but he definitely has me beat on this one. I can't get LO's arms to stay in for more than 30 seconds, but DH does it and LO will wake up 3 hrs later, fully swaddled.
It's been 2 weeks and I haven't cut LOs nail yet. Baby mittens and built in hand covers FTW!!
We haven't either. It's on my many lists of things to get done.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I don't use the straps to buckle DD into the rock n play. She's two weeks and barely mobile. It's all the energy I can take to get her swaddled and settled in it, let alone buckle the damn thing. I promise to buckle it when she is a little bit older and active.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I don't use the straps to buckle DD into the rock n play. She's two weeks and barely mobile. It's all the energy I can take to get her swaddled and settled in it, let alone buckle the damn thing. I promise to buckle it when she is a little bit older and active.
I don't either, DS1 was sleeping in his crib before the straps even became necessary.
It's been 2 weeks and I haven't cut LOs nail yet. Baby mittens and built in hand covers FTW!!
We haven't either. It's on my many lists of things to get done.
Ladies, I don't know about y'all but if and when possible, I will use my "I give baby nutrition through my boobs, what can you do?" card out shamelessly and give things like spit up clean up, nappy change after blowouts, and cutting her little nails to DH.
Ffwc?? I never buckled DD into the rock and play. She slept in until she was almost one. One night I woke up and she was standing in it. We transitioned to the crib after that.
Ffwc?? I never buckled DD into the rock and play. She slept in until she was almost one. One night I woke up and she was standing in it. We transitioned to the crib after that.
This is why I love @texasmama2014. I just assumed that those clips were just a formality and have never used them. Whoops.
Ffwc?? I never buckled DD into the rock and play. She slept in until she was almost one. One night I woke up and she was standing in it. We transitioned to the crib after that.
Haha! Yasss! Who the hell has time to clip them in it and make them all angry.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I'm ignoring people today. I'm binge watching criminal minds on netflix, cuddling with the babe, and my big kids are being good. So I'm not answering my phone. I don't want to be interrupted, and I don't really feel like socializing.
We never buckle J into the RnP either. I actually have a cute pic of him in it but was afraid to post it anywhere because I didn't want to look like a bad mommy.
@Stephanie7693 I've been avoiding people and not socializing since we brought baby home. I like my little quiet family and don't want anyone disrupting us or bringing their nasty germs into my home
Finally, I clipped LOs nails. I got overzealous at how good it was going and totally cut him on his middle finger. A little blood, small baby cry, and everything. Total fail.
Re: Mom Confessions
That and laugh at how my conversations have changed with friends bc I send them text like "Yayy JJ had a soft poop today!"
Then I googled and learned about dry and delayed drowning. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight in fear she runs out of breath or something.
Water was lukewarm but it had a little bit of soap in it from the cup we used. Her forehead got dry right away. Ugh, I hope she's okay.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I would just put him in a baby wrap and he would sleep or be calm while I did laundry, the dishes, walked around, etc. Made me feel like more of a human and at least got my blood pumping.
Now he'll sleep during the day in his crib, RnP, or swing, so you'll get there with time!
I think baby is okay. Her cry was probably hoarse from crying too much. She sounds better today.
I'm sure your LO is totally fine, but I definitely get your fear! Accidents like that happen all the time, don't be too hard on yourself!
Also, babies have a natural reaction to water and don't usually swallow it. I would definitely take a water class with her before 1 year. I plan to take Levi this winter for swimming lessons. I'm hoping to have this baby swimming by the age of 2. Kids are capable of amazing things.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@alikay20 Glad she is sounding better today. Don't beat yourself up mama.
@BrunetteBabe722 I second baby wearing if you have a holder or sling. The K'tan and Solly wrap have been a lifesaver for me.
I've yet to let crying happen just to get DH to come, but it's only a matter of time probably.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
He's had baths... I just haven't been the one to do it... He is two weeks old.
One hand done. Too scared to do the other.
I want to get away from everyone, including her, to just do me. By that, I mean passing the fk out in peace and quiet.
Signed,
Tired FTM who isn't used to this