@karaszoo1 oh man, I would have been pissed at DH too. I feel like it's DH's job to put my MIL in her place, especially in a situation like yours. I would never let my parents speak to DH rudely (not that they ever would), so he should do the same. Good for you for kicking her out, I wish I could do that to my MIL, but I'm such a chicken when it comes to confrontation with her.
Last month, our cat started peeing where she's not supposed to go (bed, couch, blankets, clothes piles), but she hadn't had an accident lately. This morning we let her back in our bed, because she's been good lately. Ten seconds in, she pops a squat and starts going right on DH. And the vet won't do anything unless we get a urine sample from her which is about as impossible as it sounds.
@labecker55358 Replace litter with shredded shopping bags. It won't absorb, so you can collect the urine sample from in the box... @mrsrundell She's the only one who touches it! Everyone else managed to agree to disagree on 73. One of the partners in the firm keeps threatening to put a lock box over the thermostat... She has actually broken the system a few times by changing it too dramatically too often. Nothing as hilarious as a pipe slamming down on the culprits desk, but we've been without AC before because the condensor froze up.
My DH drinks several days a week, he doesn't get intoxicated every time, might have a couple of beers after work, but still I feel like it's too much. We've talked about it months ago, I told him our daughter will not grow up like I did with a father that drank everyday whether it's just one beer or 10. He never really slowed his roll over the past few months. He kept saying that it will be different when our LO is here and is just trying to enjoy doing this while he can. This past weekend he got pretty drunk on Saturday night and I had to talk to him the next day and told him he cannot get drunk from here on out until our daughter arrives. 1- I don't want to have to drive myself to the hospital while contracting, 2- I don't want him to be drunk while we're welcoming our child into the world. I feel like I shouldn't have even had to say anything. I feel so defeated I'm about to start smashing beer bottles ....
@labecker55358 My cat has been pooping and peeing RIGHT outside of her little box on our brand new carpet in front of her old room. We changed her room into the nursery.
I've noticed that every time that we put together a new piece of baby equipment, she will urinate/poop the next day.
Hopefully your vet will find out the problem. I know how irritating it can be. DH literally HATES the cat. I've had her since she was 2 days old, so I could never get rid of her.
34 Mother of 4 year old and 2 Labs. Happily Married to my Hubs of 6 years.
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@jkershaw2013 that is a tough situation and brave of you to share. Sometimes men have a hard time grasping how much life is going to change and letting go of this life w/o kids. It was a major adjustment for my husband by he came around. I hope he will too. It's hard not to when you see that little face
DH has been in a shitty mood all day (he had today off and I didn't have to babysit). I took out the garbage and set it by the back door. DH is supposed to take them out to the garage when they're sitting out, but he never does. Then our dog gets into it and he gets mad at her. Now not only has he freaked out on me for being to tired to go grocery shopping, but freaked out on the dog for doing something I consider mostly his fault. I'm getting tired of adding more stuff to my plate because he doesn't want to do it, but I'm more tired of our dog getting yelled at, so I guess it's now my job to lug the garbage out to the garage now. The garbage is literally the only thing besides mowing that I ask of him. Apparently that's too much. Grrrrr.
My bitch is my upstairs neighbors, who, near as I can tell, are elephantine octopuses whose favorite pass time is Irish clog dancing while juggling bowling balls (badly) and moving furniture.
Under HOA rules they are supposed to have area rugs to mitigate impact noises, it has been 4 months since they moved in - no rugs.
But the worst of it is that they use our patio as an ash tray/trash can. I don't care if you smoke, your body your choices, but if you throw your lit cigarettes onto my patio I think you get to go to the special hell.
@tisunge602@alyssajrob22 Yup, she is "working from home" for some company that makes all natural home products, like cleaning supplies. I agreed to watch an online video about it later this week.
I will say, when she called, she did seem genuinely interested in catching up with me, and we had a nice talk. Even AFTER she gave the sales pitch... she didn't just end the call at that point. So I don't feel so miffed about it. Maybe I will buy a product from her to help out her "business," if the prices are reasonable. I just don't want to get sucked in to hosting parties or anything like that.
@Snaps816 is it norwex? I have a friend who sells all the things, and I was always feeling obligated to buy something... But once she had a norwex party and I bought the cheapest thing (2 cleaning rags) and I will say that I'm kind of obsessed with them. So if that is what it is, you should look at the started pack
Hey all! I'm on vacation so I really shouldn't have any bitches, but alas I do lol.
First, I know this has been talked about, but it really annoys the crap out of me when ppl insist that pregnancy is 10 months. No, it's not. I know for a fact that I got pregnant on 11/24/15 and my exact due date, not an estimate, is 8/11/16. Do the math, thats actually not even 9 months. Even if you add the 6 days the embryo had to grow outside of my uterus, it's still not anywhere near 10 months.
Second, I'm scheduled for a C-section on 8/5. My MIL decided that the week of 8/8 would be perfect timing to go to Florida to visit DH's sister and family who just moved there. Mind you, we're currently on vacation for two weeks....why not go while we're already away? It boggles my mind how ppl don't think. Clearly being around when your new grandson is born isn't important to you. The fact that she won't be around to take care of DD that Thursday, which is usually her day, doesn't bother me, it's the new baby thing...apparently no big deal.
Finally, it's beyond irritating when people constantly insist that my baby is going to come early just because I'm measuring big. They did the same thing with DD. Yes, I grow big babies, but they're not super fetuses with organs that magically mature faster than other babies just because they're big...Size doesn't necessarily matter, but people, including my mom, don't seem to be able to grasp that concept. They also don't think it's necessary to go to a bigger hospital if, God forbid, I go into labor while we're on vacation. There's a rinky dink hospital about 15-20 mins away, but Albany is just under an hour away, and I'm sure they have a much larger more robust l&d and nicu if we needed it. Again...big baby doesn't mean no nicu if we're born during week 36. Uuugh!
@labecker55358 my cats have been doing something similar the last couple weeks. We're about ready to get rid of them if they don't stop ruining our home They're 8 years old and we've never had a pee problem like this before.
@Snaps816 Well, Im glad that she wasnt just sales pitching you! Sounds like it went better than expecting!
@liljabee Im sure you have already done this, but have you complained to your landlord, especially about the cigarettes? At our old apartment, our upstairs neighbor did the exact same thing. Except one night, the cigarette didnt make it off their deck and caught the building on fire. It started right above our bedroom.
My bitchfest is my father-in-law. He came to the baby shower my mom threw for us and had the audacity to tell my father, that my father should have helped put the nursery furniture together.
One, my parents go above and beyond with their generosity to me and DH because that's who they are (and we totally appreciate them for everything they do). Two, in the two and a half years we have lived two hours away from my in-laws, they have only come to visit twice. In the second visit, my FIL helped DH put together the dresser and that's it.
It's not a competition so there's no need for him to be petty and jealous.
@snaps816 norwex?? I'm actually super curious to try it. DD loves to help "clean" and I would feel better about her "helping" if I knew it was just a rag and water. I just don't know anyone directly that sells them. Let me know if you try it out!
@alyssajrob22. That is my nightmare! We have tried speaking to them in a neighborly way several times. We get along decently with all our other nieghbors and wanted to try to fix it with them without reporting them. We finally gad enough last week and sent a detailed email to our HOA and their management company. Which should get the message to their landlady. She was a really nice lady whom (we never heard) but when she got engaged she moved out and rented out the place. Hopefully getting a letter will be enough to impress upon them that purchasing an ashould tray is a worthy investment
I'm not looking forward to this week. We're under a heat advisory from tomorrow until the 22nd! Thursday is supposed to be over 100 and humid. And I have an appt that day. Ugh. I don't want to leave my house or pool this week unless it's to give birth. But my mil is at least going to come her to watch ds for me Thursday so I don't have to be out as long. I'm hoping and praying my NP just sends me to the hospital after my appt lol. The 21st sounds like a great birthday and I will be 38 weeks wishful thinking, I know, but I can't help it, especially with the heat wave.
I love my in laws and we get along 99% of the time. But my MIL can be a little immature sometimes and loves to use guilt to manipulate. When DH mentioned the "magic hour" that the hospital does (when mommy and daddy and baby get to be alone together for an hour after birth) she bout had a tantrum. She was pretend crying, joking but not really. And she continued to do this for like 10 minutes as we were trying to leave, trying to make us feel bad! Her husband was even like "stop this, that's enough." Crazy. I've always been nervous about how she would be when we had kids. She's very sweet and helpful and a nurse so she's knowledgeable, but the woman has no boundaries. When her daughter was in labor last year and had everyone but her husband leave the room at the end, MIL persuaded the nurses to sneak her into the room as long as she hid behind a curtain. But then of course as soon as baby was out she ran right over to where the nurses were cleaning him up and stuff (he needed a little help breathing at first.) So she got a close look before her daughter even did. She thinks it's really cute that she did this but if she tries that shit with me, I will get security on her ass. I don't care if you're a nurse, I want privacy! I'm so worried she's gonna be up our butts 24/7 and we'll have to lay down the law and there will be drama. My mom on the other hand is like "if you go into labor call me, but if it's like 3 a.m. wait until 5 or so." lol Luckily DH is ready to handle her. FX it doesn't come to that.
@Car0liiine That kind of stuff makes me so ragey! I would have lost it if I saw my mom run over after I just popped out a baby to get the first look. My MIL made the comment the other day to DH on the phone that it should just be the husband in the delivery room and that she would be uncomfortable to be in there. I was thinking...uh no one is asking you to be, don't worry. I'm glad your mom gets it!
@Car0liiine. If my mom did that I would have been so upset. My mom was a little upset that she was not in the room with DD1 since she was in the room with all three of my sisters LOs. But she got over it. My dad told me that I cannot make them wait this time (they waited an hour after to see DD1 for the first time. I told him things have changed since I had DD1 6.5 years ago and it may be longer. He didn't listen. DH spoke with him two weeks ago and he finally understands that they will not be allowed in the room immediately after I have DD 2. I am so thankful that my DH was able to be patient and talk to him because I do not have patience for anything anymore.
My bitchfest is my nipples. Damn, they are sensitive. Almost 4 weeks into pumping (and just starting to try breastfeeding) and I feel like I need a little nipple umbrella for the shower. I hate putting my bra back on after I pump and if I didn't need the support or wasn't at work or in public I'd be topless all the time! I've heard around 6 weeks they tend to get better, so I'm really looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.
@Car0liine - Totally feel you. I've already told my parents not to expect to get to meet the baby until 3-4 hours after my scheduled C-section, and husband knows that no one gets to hold the baby except him before I do, and I don't want any visitors in the recovery room. I'm going to tell the nurses too, but something tells me I am still going to have problems day of, particularly with my parents. My husband's Mom will be fine. I get that this is their first grandkid, but I am tired of knowing it will be a struggle weighing over me. I already had to tell my Dad that no, he can't stay with us with my Mom the first week we're home from the hospital, but we'd love for him to come spend some time later. He got all pouty and frankly, I think he flat made up that he can't take any vacation time in September or October as a way to guilt me into changing my mind. I keep telling myself at least they care and surely they mean well...
@cait5413 I know how you feel! I'm really hoping this one comes even just a little early (see my bitchfest above) and since hitting 37 weeks, I've been even more anxious! Especially since my body thinks it's necessary to have contractions ALL the flippin' time. I keep thinking, "is this it? is it starting?!" and then after 9 hours of contractions that stay 10 minutes apart, I realize it is not.
If it makes you feel any better, some people drop and dilate all at once during labor! ETA: I was dilated 1-2 cm and baby was dropped for 4 WEEKS before I had my first two days past her edd, so believe me when I say that being dilated and dropped ahead of time does not make the wait any easier.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
@1faceinacrowd... yes, the contractions all the time suck so much! I start timing them, then they quit. Last night I kept waking up with them, then this morning I get up and they're not as bad. But I need to know as soon as they get regular so I can get to the hospital as early as possible. And with both my kids I was dilated and effaced for weeks before having them. My 2nd I was dilated to 3 for at least 2 weeks, and this baby I dilated to a 3 last week and he's still just hanging out. I think being dilated makes the wait harder, because you could go at any time, but it's just not happening. I really wanted this baby to wait until 38 weeks though, so I'm glad he's still in there. Tomorrow is 38 weeks and I'm hoping I don't have to wait much longer! The longest Ive been pregnant is 38w 4d lol
So my little (22 year old) brother's birthday is the day after Baby Boy's C-section date, and brother has said he wouldn't even mind sharing his birthday with his nephew's birthday, and my family has never made a huge deal about birthdays... so I think this won't be any big deal. And, I didn't think the odds of my brother coming into town when the baby was born were high, as he's canceled (via my parents telling me, not him) the last two times he's planned to visit us. Well yesterday my Mom calls and asks me how I'm planning to celebrate my brother's birthday, and will I be jealous if they take him out to dinner for his birthday while my family is all in town for baby boy's arrival, and could we celebrate in the hospital room Thursday (aka the C-section date)?
(A) Why would I be jealous that I'm not going out to dinner with them? Heck, I think it's a great way to get them out of my hospital room and not just sitting there all freaking day.
(B) No, we will not be having a party for my brother in my hospital room the day I give birth. Now maybe the day after or two days after we can have cake and tell him happy birthday, but we don't have parties, particularly for other things, in hospital rooms. This adds to my feeling that my parents are fundamentally confused about the nature of a hospital stay.
(C) I am starting to feel like all the family visiting when the baby is born--even if just husband and I's parents and my siblings--is turning into a three ring circus. And 99.9% because of my parents.
(D) Instead of calling and asking me how we're celebrating my brother's birthday, perhaps my parents could call and say "We're planning to stay in town while you're in the hospital, and we're making some plans about what we'll do while we're in town. What will you want us to do to help? How long should we plan to visit you at the hospital for?" But nope, all questions have been about how we're going to fit in their wants, and I have yet to hear anything resembling "How can we help?"
@Stephanie7693 Isn't it frustrating?!?! The ONLY good thing about knowing whether you're dilated/effaced, in my opinion, is if you've been having contractions, it's good to know that they're at least doing something. I've heard of people having tons of contractions and then no progress whatsoever and I imagine that'd be really frustrating. I was 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced at my 36 week appointment and I'm *guessing* I'm closer to 3 cm and even more effaced by now, just based on how intense some of these contractions have been.
If you've never gone past 38w4d, that is suuuuper exciting that you're hitting 38 weeks tomorrow!!! EEP! My first was late, so I'm not gonna hold my breath. lol
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
@kwilliams3402 celebrating someone else's birthday in your hospital room on the day you give birth? No just no.
What is it about giving birth that makes other family members and friends think they can do and say whatever they want? Hello people...its recovering from a major surgery/medical event, plus adjusting to life with a little one.
Why family and friends think this gives them the right to bulldoze in and demand their wants and needs above the mom/dad baffles me. It beyond irritates me when no one asks me what I would like or what our labor/hospital plan is. My mom and MIL both assumed they would be notified right away when I'm in labor and come to the hospital. Nope! Sorry ladies.
We are still telling my mom over and over that she won't be there for the birth. She doesn't get it. I may let her come see us when I am in labor waiting to progress (mostly because we need her to come get our dog). But I feel like she doesn't get boundaries and once there, will expect to be involved in the whole process. One thing I know for sure is, it will only be DH there for the actual pushing and birth. We deserve that moment in private to meet our daughter for the first time.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@kwilliams3402 that's just crazy. I think I'd put my big swollen foot down about all that. I feel bad for so many of you ladies who have such overbearing or selfish family members. I just cannot imagine trying to deal with people like that at the end of my pregnancy and into my labor and hospital stay. I don't have a lot of family, mine and hubby's are both pretty small and spread out, but our parents are nearby, and mostly very helpful. Even my ex and his wife are planning to drop everything when I have the baby and add my daughter into thier schedule for my hospital stay and maybe a day or two longer. So is my mil for my son. I'm thankful for all the help this time around, I had almost none when my 2nd was born.
Yep, FTM, and the complete lack of social graces/intelligence about the situation from my parents baffles me. My MIL completely gets it... maybe it's that she just spent the last 2.5 years in and out of major and long hospital stays with my recently passed-away father-in-law, so she understands a hospital stay... not sure. And my mom had 3 C-sections, so given that my baby will be born by one, either on his scheduled date or earlier, it's all the more bizarre that she doesn't seem to recall what her deliveries were like and work to protect her daughter during her upcoming C-section hospital stay. I'm all for close family meeting Baby soon after he's born, but when it starts to interfere with things like us learning to breastfeed, or me recovering from surgery so I can care for my child, there's got to be a line.
Now just crossing my fingers that baby comes earlier... heck, even a day earlier... than the scheduled C-section and throws everyone's plans to harass us for a loop!!!
@Stephanie7693 - I told my Mom that I wouldn't be up to a celebration that Thursday, but suggested they take my brother out to a nice dinner in Austin (where we live), and that maybe by Friday we could have a cake or cookies, but we'd have to play it by ear. That seemed to have done the trick... for now. It just still boggles my mind that she even asked!!
@kwilliams3402 my c section date is the 11th and my sister, who lives in PA(we are in NC), will come in town the next day. Her birthday is the 13th but I can't begin to fathom them trying to have a party in my hospital room. They haven't even said anything about her birthday.
@midwestbaby you took the words right out of my mouth!! My parents will have DD so they won't be at the hospital very much because who wants to chase an almost 2 year old around a hospital? My in laws are making a huge deal about how we are doing visits in the hospital and the crazy thing is that we haven't even discussed anything with them directly yet except that no one meets him until DD does.
My mom completely understands how stressful having a baby is whether you labor or have a planned CS. It's all stressful and I want to at least have some sense about me when people come to visit. When I had DD, in recovery I had the shakes really bad to where I couldn't even hold DD and I was freezing cold. I was super foggy when they brought me back to our room and don't even remember much about what went on.
I feel like when having a baby, above all else it's about the health of mom and baby. I understand that people are excited because it's another grandchild ect, but they do tend to forget that it's a major thing happening and really hard on the body. I worried WAY too much last time about everyone else and making sure that they got to see DD and such and I'm being selfish this time and only worrying about me, DH and baby. Those first few days with baby are so precious and I want to soak as much time in as I can before we go home to a family of 4.
Oh my the only thing that i made clear to everyone is that i won't let anyone know when i go into labor because I do not want anyone coming in after i give birth as it will be baby and mommy and daddy and that no one is to post any pics in social media until DH and I do, so far everyone understood but my cousin and his fiance, I am glad that they want to help out and all but they legit post everything in social media even when i went to the hospital a week ago about my contractions and they posted that it was false alarm and all and I made it clear to my mom that it was wrong of her to tell them i was at the hospital because i was not sure if i was going to have baby or not and the room was too small for all of them to be there, so i told her that if she wants to notify people and i haven't asked her too, then I will not let her know when i go to hospital to have the baby and she understood. Sometimes you can't beat around the bush and have to be straight forward and tell them what you want because it is you giving birth and your kid and family they already made there own decisions and its time for you to make your own and it should not bother them and if they get salty that is there problem not yours.
I believe this has been one of the longest bitchfest we have had so far through out our pregnancies... We are almost there ladies
My bitchfest is my nipples. Damn, they are sensitive. Almost 4 weeks into pumping (and just starting to try breastfeeding) and I feel like I need a little nipple umbrella for the shower. I hate putting my bra back on after I pump and if I didn't need the support or wasn't at work or in public I'd be topless all the time! I've heard around 6 weeks they tend to get better, so I'm really looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Around 4-5 weeks BFing with DD, one morning I woke up and my nipples magically stopped hurting. Don't worry!
Re: BITCHFEST MONDAY!!!! 7/18
@karaszoo1 oh man, I would have been pissed at DH too. I feel like it's DH's job to put my MIL in her place, especially in a situation like yours. I would never let my parents speak to DH rudely (not that they ever would), so he should do the same. Good for you for kicking her out, I wish I could do that to my MIL, but I'm such a chicken when it comes to confrontation with her.
@mrsrundell She's the only one who touches it! Everyone else managed to agree to disagree on 73. One of the partners in the firm keeps threatening to put a lock box over the thermostat... She has actually broken the system a few times by changing it too dramatically too often. Nothing as hilarious as a pipe slamming down on the culprits desk, but we've been without AC before because the condensor froze up.
I've noticed that every time that we put together a new piece of baby equipment, she will urinate/poop the next day.
Hopefully your vet will find out the problem. I know how irritating it can be. DH literally HATES the cat. I've had her since she was 2 days old, so I could never get rid of her.
That is such a bummer
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Under HOA rules they are supposed to have area rugs to mitigate impact noises, it has been 4 months since they moved in - no rugs.
But the worst of it is that they use our patio as an ash tray/trash can. I don't care if you smoke, your body your choices, but if you throw your lit cigarettes onto my patio I think you get to go to the special hell.
I will say, when she called, she did seem genuinely interested in catching up with me, and we had a nice talk. Even AFTER she gave the sales pitch... she didn't just end the call at that point. So I don't feel so miffed about it. Maybe I will buy a product from her to help out her "business," if the prices are reasonable. I just don't want to get sucked in to hosting parties or anything like that.
First, I know this has been talked about, but it really annoys the crap out of me when ppl insist that pregnancy is 10 months. No, it's not. I know for a fact that I got pregnant on 11/24/15 and my exact due date, not an estimate, is 8/11/16. Do the math, thats actually not even 9 months. Even if you add the 6 days the embryo had to grow outside of my uterus, it's still not anywhere near 10 months.
Second, I'm scheduled for a C-section on 8/5. My MIL decided that the week of 8/8 would be perfect timing to go to Florida to visit DH's sister and family who just moved there. Mind you, we're currently on vacation for two weeks....why not go while we're already away? It boggles my mind how ppl don't think. Clearly being around when your new grandson is born isn't important to you. The fact that she won't be around to take care of DD that Thursday, which is usually her day, doesn't bother me, it's the new baby thing...apparently no big deal.
Finally, it's beyond irritating when people constantly insist that my baby is going to come early just because I'm measuring big. They did the same thing with DD. Yes, I grow big babies, but they're not super fetuses with organs that magically mature faster than other babies just because they're big...Size doesn't necessarily matter, but people, including my mom, don't seem to be able to grasp that concept. They also don't think it's necessary to go to a bigger hospital if, God forbid, I go into labor while we're on vacation. There's a rinky dink hospital about 15-20 mins away, but Albany is just under an hour away, and I'm sure they have a much larger more robust l&d and nicu if we needed it. Again...big baby doesn't mean no nicu if we're born during week 36. Uuugh!
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
@liljabee Im sure you have already done this, but have you complained to your landlord, especially about the cigarettes? At our old apartment, our upstairs neighbor did the exact same thing. Except one night, the cigarette didnt make it off their deck and caught the building on fire. It started right above our bedroom.
One, my parents go above and beyond with their generosity to me and DH because that's who they are (and we totally appreciate them for everything they do). Two, in the two and a half years we have lived two hours away from my in-laws, they have only come to visit twice. In the second visit, my FIL helped DH put together the dresser and that's it.
It's not a competition so there's no need for him to be petty and jealous.
I've always been nervous about how she would be when we had kids. She's very sweet and helpful and a nurse so she's knowledgeable, but the woman has no boundaries. When her daughter was in labor last year and had everyone but her husband leave the room at the end, MIL persuaded the nurses to sneak her into the room as long as she hid behind a curtain.
I'm so worried she's gonna be up our butts 24/7 and we'll have to lay down the law and there will be drama. My mom on the other hand is like "if you go into labor call me, but if it's like 3 a.m. wait until 5 or so." lol Luckily DH is ready to handle her. FX it doesn't come to that.
@tmk0325 I saw this awhile ago Apparently it works like putting a hot compress on your boobs rather than pelting them with water when you shower.
https://www.showerhug.com/
If it makes you feel any better, some people drop and dilate all at once during labor!
ETA: I was dilated 1-2 cm and baby was dropped for 4 WEEKS before I had my first two days past her edd, so believe me when I say that being dilated and dropped ahead of time does not make the wait any easier.
And with both my kids I was dilated and effaced for weeks before having them. My 2nd I was dilated to 3 for at least 2 weeks, and this baby I dilated to a 3 last week and he's still just hanging out. I think being dilated makes the wait harder, because you could go at any time, but it's just not happening. I really wanted this baby to wait until 38 weeks though, so I'm glad he's still in there. Tomorrow is 38 weeks and I'm hoping I don't have to wait much longer! The longest Ive been pregnant is 38w 4d lol
So my little (22 year old) brother's birthday is the day after Baby Boy's C-section date, and brother has said he wouldn't even mind sharing his birthday with his nephew's birthday, and my family has never made a huge deal about birthdays... so I think this won't be any big deal. And, I didn't think the odds of my brother coming into town when the baby was born were high, as he's canceled (via my parents telling me, not him) the last two times he's planned to visit us. Well yesterday my Mom calls and asks me how I'm planning to celebrate my brother's birthday, and will I be jealous if they take him out to dinner for his birthday while my family is all in town for baby boy's arrival, and could we celebrate in the hospital room Thursday (aka the C-section date)?
(A) Why would I be jealous that I'm not going out to dinner with them? Heck, I think it's a great way to get them out of my hospital room and not just sitting there all freaking day.
(B) No, we will not be having a party for my brother in my hospital room the day I give birth. Now maybe the day after or two days after we can have cake and tell him happy birthday, but we don't have parties, particularly for other things, in hospital rooms. This adds to my feeling that my parents are fundamentally confused about the nature of a hospital stay.
(C) I am starting to feel like all the family visiting when the baby is born--even if just husband and I's parents and my siblings--is turning into a three ring circus. And 99.9% because of my parents.
(D) Instead of calling and asking me how we're celebrating my brother's birthday, perhaps my parents could call and say "We're planning to stay in town while you're in the hospital, and we're making some plans about what we'll do while we're in town. What will you want us to do to help? How long should we plan to visit you at the hospital for?" But nope, all questions have been about how we're going to fit in their wants, and I have yet to hear anything resembling "How can we help?"
Rant over.
Celebrate his birthday in your hospital room!?!? I can't.
If you've never gone past 38w4d, that is suuuuper exciting that you're hitting 38 weeks tomorrow!!! EEP! My first was late, so I'm not gonna hold my breath. lol
What is it about giving birth that makes other family members and friends think they can do and say whatever they want? Hello people...its recovering from a major surgery/medical event, plus adjusting to life with a little one.
Why family and friends think this gives them the right to bulldoze in and demand their wants and needs above the mom/dad baffles me. It beyond irritates me when no one asks me what I would like or what our labor/hospital plan is. My mom and MIL both assumed they would be notified right away when I'm in labor and come to the hospital. Nope! Sorry ladies.
We are still telling my mom over and over that she won't be there for the birth. She doesn't get it. I may let her come see us when I am in labor waiting to progress (mostly because we need her to come get our dog). But I feel like she doesn't get boundaries and once there, will expect to be involved in the whole process. One thing I know for sure is, it will only be DH there for the actual pushing and birth. We deserve that moment in private to meet our daughter for the first time.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I feel bad for so many of you ladies who have such overbearing or selfish family members. I just cannot imagine trying to deal with people like that at the end of my pregnancy and into my labor and hospital stay. I don't have a lot of family, mine and hubby's are both pretty small and spread out, but our parents are nearby, and mostly very helpful. Even my ex and his wife are planning to drop everything when I have the baby and add my daughter into thier schedule for my hospital stay and maybe a day or two longer. So is my mil for my son. I'm thankful for all the help this time around, I had almost none when my 2nd was born.
Yep, FTM, and the complete lack of social graces/intelligence about the situation from my parents baffles me. My MIL completely gets it... maybe it's that she just spent the last 2.5 years in and out of major and long hospital stays with my recently passed-away father-in-law, so she understands a hospital stay... not sure. And my mom had 3 C-sections, so given that my baby will be born by one, either on his scheduled date or earlier, it's all the more bizarre that she doesn't seem to recall what her deliveries were like and work to protect her daughter during her upcoming C-section hospital stay. I'm all for close family meeting Baby soon after he's born, but when it starts to interfere with things like us learning to breastfeed, or me recovering from surgery so I can care for my child, there's got to be a line.
Now just crossing my fingers that baby comes earlier... heck, even a day earlier... than the scheduled C-section and throws everyone's plans to harass us for a loop!!!
@midwestbaby you took the words right out of my mouth!! My parents will have DD so they won't be at the hospital very much because who wants to chase an almost 2 year old around a hospital? My in laws are making a huge deal about how we are doing visits in the hospital and the crazy thing is that we haven't even discussed anything with them directly yet except that no one meets him until DD does.
My mom completely understands how stressful having a baby is whether you labor or have a planned CS. It's all stressful and I want to at least have some sense about me when people come to visit. When I had DD, in recovery I had the shakes really bad to where I couldn't even hold DD and I was freezing cold. I was super foggy when they brought me back to our room and don't even remember much about what went on.
I feel like when having a baby, above all else it's about the health of mom and baby. I understand that people are excited because it's another grandchild ect, but they do tend to forget that it's a major thing happening and really hard on the body. I worried WAY too much last time about everyone else and making sure that they got to see DD and such and I'm being selfish this time and only worrying about me, DH and baby. Those first few days with baby are so precious and I want to soak as much time in as I can before we go home to a family of 4.
I believe this has been one of the longest bitchfest we have had so far through out our pregnancies... We are almost there ladies
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016