TTCAL grad July check-in

SnobunnieMel

@rainbowturtles I am with you there. The problem is so many women over there lately aren't investing in giving support and actual conversation or running interaction with daily threads. 

rainbowturtles

Yes, exactly, @SnobunnieMel that's sort of what I mean. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't really understand at first and I also hold myself to a higher standard than I do others (ie: I give others way more leeway than I give myself!). But it really hit home for me when someone said basically "well I'm new and I still read all the welcome and newbie posts before posting and was sure to post in the appropriate place" type thing and I was like YES!!! SO DID I! I also spend a LOT of time reading every single person's post and responding when appropriate/possible and trying to build rapport/relationships.  So I/we CAN get ticked at people who are just ignoring all the rules! There's no reason/excuse for anyone to come in guns a-blazing demanding personal attention like that...it's written so clearly in multiple places! LOL I mean, nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, but 99% of these drive bys and randoms are not just innocent mistakes (and I used to give them that allowance/credit), they are blatant disregard for rules and community and they are more often than not, people who have not and don't intend to participate in any other threads. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I get it now. And it's really starting to tick me off, too lol And at the VERY least, if you mess up, own up to the mistake, apologize, and fix it, if possible. Coming back with name calling and saying everyone is negative etc when you're the one who didn't follow simple instructions and came in and upset a whole group of people? ugh. I just don't get it sometimes.

dubcompanion

@rainbowturtles The weird part is that that when they immediately resort to name calling and going all GBCB, they're really not getting that harsh of responses! A lot of posters are trying to be constructive and still answering the original question (provided it's not blatant MUD, but even then, some make a benefit of a doubt). I can't help but wonder if people are really that sensitive and expect the Internet to be "puppies and rainbows" or if TTGP gets hit with trolls because of its reputation for being snarky and more pragmatic than typical TTC boards. 

Taggarab

I'm gonna be honest...TTGP scares the crap out of me 

dubcompanion

@Taggarab It definitely requires a LOT of lurking. I think it's a pretty chill board in the daily threads, TBH. It's just the drive-bys that get all the attention, and that's when you see most of the snark and 'tude. I have noticed that when someone makes a true, honest mistake, that posters accept their apology. However, they really did get bombarded this past weekend and weren't so forgiving. And I don't blame them. It was ridiculous. I feel bad for TTGP to be honest... So many TTCAL and women struggling with infertility on there, and many of the new posters were really insensitive.

rainbowturtles

@Taggarab I used to be intimidated by it, if that's what you mean. Because at first I thought people were just being mean. But like I said, by lurking and really paying attention to what's going on I realized that that's not the case at all and the women are actually INCREDIBLY awesome, informative, and super sweet and supportive and kind, as long as you give support as well and are respectful, etc. I dunno, it's hard to explain maybe and I'm very tired lol

Taggarab

@dubcompanion Oh I totally agree. I did an intro over there a while back and lurk a lot, but I don't think I've ever posted. I do not understand why people come in and ask the stupid and insensitive things they do. I looked over to see what the deal was this weekend and I wanted to give @SnobunnieMel a standing ovation for saying exactly what everyone else was thinking

chloe97

I haven't posted on TTGP since early March, but I've lurked some. I have to say that those people who put together that survey and the analysis of the survey about TTGP did more work on that than I do at my actual job in a month. Holy crap! Who has the time?

Im not sure if I will go back there when I get off the bench. Like @Taggarab says it scares the crap outta me and its impossible to respond to everyone on the check-ins. I also just get so used to the general civility and no-snark atmosphere towards individual posters that we have going on in TTCAL that I'm honestly startled by some of the responses to posters who have legitimate questions. Something about going through a loss (or a few losses) that make you a bit more than empathetic towards what others may be going through. 

MissPrint1219

OMG @SnobunnieMel, I am literally DYING over here!! BUTT BABY FTW!!!

ETA: FWIW, I think my right side was batting this inning :-)

Also ETA: Randomly, I am so not into my BMB. There, I said it!

dubcompanion

I'm going to confess something. I initially was brought over to The Bump because I was lurking another forum, and a poster was complaining how rude the TTGP board is. (This was spring '15.) I was drawn in immediately! I lurked TTGP for months, always too shy to post. It wasn't until my loss that I made my own SN and became active on TB, starting with the MC/loss board. I kind of wish that I'd been brave enough to introduce myself on TTGP at the time, but I think it is because of TTCAL's general civility and no-snark atmosphere (borrowing @chloe97 's words because she described it well) that I've come out of my lurking shell. 

rainbowturtles

Yes I definitely couldn't handle TTGP right after my loss lol MC/PL and TTCAL are lifesavers and still feel like my safe place but for now I'm enjoying both TTGP and TTCAL

rainbowturtles

Btw, do new members still have to wait three days before having permission to post?

KarenBeth714

I can't take the ttgp board again.. no way. This is my home for now.
I got scolded so many times for not temping ( i can't bc I wake up so many times and am a restless sleeper) and told that when I did get a bfp that it couldnt be bc my luteul was too short, eventhough I only bd'd on the day of pos opk. Eh... drama, whatever. So not into it. It got negative over there for me. I did like the siggy challenges. Maybe we could do that here for fun.

Taggarab

@SnobunnieMel I loved your response to crazy cakes Nuva Ring girl. People like that are frustrating and when I first saw the post I thought, hey, I was on Nuva Ring for years so maybe I can help, but nope nope nope...not with that attitude. 

rainbowturtles

Ohmygoodness I should not have read that one today @Taggarab now I'm crying and want to puke I hate to believe that vile people like that exist. Wow.

dubcompanion

Never have I wanted to punch my computer screen so hard after reading that Nuva Ring thread. I'm so sorry people are dicks, @SnobunnieMel. Don't let them get you down. Something's missing from them - heart, brain - but it's not our problem. (Now that I think about it, that particular poster might be missing her sphincter, and that's why she just had to shit all over everyone.) Luckily, there are many supportive communities on TB that remind us that a large majority of those seeking TTC support are good people.

SnobunnieMel

I've decided I no longer need to sensor them from the realities of TTC. And should I get banned. I will be back   

roxgibbons

Wow I just read through that thread- what a crazy, hateful bitch!!  Good for you @SnobunnieMel for shutting her down. 

SnobunnieMel

I got TWO warnings out of all my responses. 

Taggarab

I don't see why you should have gotten any warnings for calling her what she is. Who the hell says something like that to other people? 

Sorry @rainbowturtles. Didn't mean to upset you by drawing your attention to it.

Spartanrd4

That poster on TTGP has to have been one of the most shitty people I have ever seen on the internet...bravo @snobunnieMel for shutting her down. Definitely warranted a C you next Tuesday bomb thrown at her. Wow. 

SnobunnieMel

Surprisingly my language was not the cause of my warnings.  My fauxpaux was from telling her to go away. You are not allowed to:

• restrict or inhibit another user or users from using and enjoying the Site.

  
  

  Inset eye roll. That was the warning I got on both messages 

Wishilivedinflorida

Ugh. I just caught up on that thread. It broke my heart to think especially about all the loss moms and IF ladies who had to read that vile garbage. There are some truly evil people in this world. Bravo, @SnobunnieMel (and others) for shutting her down. Totally worth a bogus warning or two IMO. 

RiverSong15

@SnobunnieMel - That warning has never ever made sense to me. SHE was inhibiting EVERYONE ELSE'S enjoyment of the site. So why can't you defend yourself and others when someone is being so horrible? That's some Grade A BS right there....

Wishilivedinflorida

Um, so @AliciaGoose got the ban hammer? I'm so angry right now!!!!!

SnobunnieMel

@Wishilivedinflorida you will find that @BitterBetty12 shares many of the same attributes and snark abilities of alciiagoose   

Taggarab

Whaaaaaaa?!?! That makes me mad too 

SnobunnieMel

It's all from that damn nuvaring post the other night. 

Wishilivedinflorida

Welcome, @BitterBetty12. I love the username, btw! 

dubcompanion

OMG @BitterBetty12 If it's even possible, I you even more!! That SN is GOLD in so many freaking ways!

BitterBetty12

Heyyyyy ladies @Wishilivedinflorida @Taggarab @dubcompanion Thanks for the warm welcome. Also thanks @SnobunnieMel for the intro 

Group hug simply because I  you all a lot.

Wishilivedinflorida

rainbowturtles

Omggggg that pug gif!!!!!! YESSS!!! Miss you too @Wishilivedinflorida !

amberruka

**Lurking from TWW**

Such love y'all!! We miss you guys too!! Welcome to our world @BitterBetty12

Hopefulmommy1980

You ladies are awesome

SoonToBeMommaHowe

@BitterBetty12 you sneaky B Welcome 

shae86

Checking in here for the first time. I wanted to wait and make sure this was a viable pregnancy. I'm happy to report that everything is right on track! 

How far along are you? 9 weeks 5 days

How's the anxiety of PGAL brain going?
Right now I'm doing ok. I was able to see my little one on an ultrasound last week, which was incredible. And tonight I picked up the heartbeat on my doppler. So far, everything about this pregnancy has been a night and day difference from my first one. The nausea kicked in big time at the beginning of week 6. I've spent the past few weeks in a fog due to the sickness and fatigue. But honestly, feeling like sh*t is worth it for the reassurance. I never had any symptoms during my first (and only other) pregnancy. 

GTKY: What strange cravings do you have right now, if any? No cravings, more like, "What foods DON'T make me want to throw up?" The answer to that is cereal, fruit, ice cream, and sandwiches. Basically, cold stuff. 

BornReady

Congrats @shae86! I ate cereal my whole pregnancy with my son, it was literally the only thing that was appetizing for months at a time.

Spartanrd4

Hey all, giving everyone an update. Had my NT scan today and everything looked great- baby is measuring 4 days ahead at 12 weeks 3 days and HR of 166. He/she was bouncing around and waving/kicking- it was amazing to see how much change has happened in just 4 weeks since the last time I saw the baby. It looks like a real human now! Can hopefully feel some relief until my next scan at 18 weeks  

SnobunnieMel

@Spartanrd4 ssqquuieeeeee!!! I'm go glad to see this. I know you have been having some serious PGAL anxiety about it. Hopefully you can enjoy the next few weeks