Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
bearsandbeets7
member
Re: Labor Thread
I was cleaning our bathroom floor and slipped and fell pretty hard on my tailbone. I instantly felt a gush of fluid. Luckily, my fiance was home from work due to the weather, and his job being a landscaper, and our next appointment with our midwife was today anyway. I just finally stopped crying over this, I'm 35w1d, so I'm trying to stay calm since I'm pretty far along, and the stress can't be good for baby anyway. I'll keep you all updated.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
TMI warning...if I slipped and fell I am pretty sure I would feel a gush of fluid too. Unfortunately, mine is discharge and end of pregnancy grossness. Try not to worry. More than likely you either peed yourself or you have the yucks too.
@BumpAdmin @BumpTara
be 37 weeks and as long as this pre-eclampsia doesn't progress and I continue to stay healthy, July 27th is our golden date!!! EEK
@msdidonato
congrats! So exciting to have a date!
I left her back to crying after I slipped my pinky out of her tightly gripped hand. People keep saying it's not my fault and I am trying to be brave but I haven't stopped crying since I saw her this morning. What an emotional mess I am in. I see all these moms getting discharged on the same day as me except their DH's have carseats with babies in them. I felt so sad and held it in since hey, given the situation, she's in very good hands.
But when we got to the car and saw our empty car seat, I fking lost it and started bawling. DH and I just let go from trying to be strong or putting up a front for a minute and we just cried it out together, him repeating that I didn't do this to her and that she is going to be alright.
I guess I was just hoping two days ago that she just needed to be under watch for a day or two and be released from the NICU. When doc told us today her breathing is still very fast but will try the feeding tube and now she needs goggles because she developed jaundice, I about lost all of my optimism of bringing her home in the near future.
Every RN that has taken care of her has been super caring and loving (mad respect and appreciation for all RNs out there). They say she def is a fiesty one with a lot of strength for her size. It calms me down a bit knowing she's a fighter until I see moments of distress from her like gripping the band from her cpap trying to take it off with her tiny hands.
It's going to be all good, Avery. This is just a transient process right now per docs. We just need to keep looking at the bright side & thank God even for this outcome that it isn't anything more than something some babies at this stage typically go through. I'm mentally prepared to go in tonight and not break down when I see that she has more things stuck to her body despite her distress from them all. I HAVE to be strong for her.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Hang in there
I was told by our nurses that we should take it one day at a time and focus on the positives each day that happen.. Got off oxygen, gained a couple ounces, got an iv out, etc. Ours boys are on day 16 in the nicu and still have probably a month left. I felt the same way you did initially but believe me it does get a bit easier. If you have any questions please let me know! Hang in there @AliKay20
I got some sleep (6 is good, right!) but woke up just now wanting to go see her. They have a set schedule for her and 9 am seems to be the best for AM. We get to change her diaper & check temp except I skip on that as I can't take off my ring!! FTM noob action: I thought I could get away with not taking off my ring, unable to foresee the possibility of baby going in the NICU. They do NOT allow any type of jewelry. I tried to take mine off by the string method, dish soap, windex, you name it but to no avail.
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement! Thinking that this is what is best for her does make it better/easier to accept. I need to think that this is a marathon and not a sprint.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
It sounds like you've tried it all with your ring, but mine got stuck on last week (also FTM noob here), and I finally got it to come off after about an hour of rubbing ice cubes on my finger and palm area below the finger. I guess the ice reduced some of the swelling just enough so that I was able to slide the ring off with lots of soap. Might be worth a shot.
Thinking of you, @tmk0325 and @bananers daily and sending all of the good vibes and thoughts.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Also, do you mind me asking how far along you were when Avery arrived? I know you mentioned around 37 weeks. I'm scheduled for an induction due to high BP at 37w2d and am terrified of the NICU possibility!
My finger is so raw and where the ring is, there's this red mark under it so I am def going to leave it alone for a bit before I try again with some other methods. I think ice & soap method would have worked but I had already aggravated the swelling even more by tightly wrapping my finger with dental floss (hurts like a $&:@/!,?@).
I was 36 wks and 6 days. They say Avery is a late preterm. Don't let my one experience concern you guys! As you know, each case is different. I know few people that had their babies born at 37 wks without needing to stay in the NICU. I also learned through NICU RN that they sometimes see babies at 38 or 39 weeks with the same needs that Avery has so it really all just depends.
Have they given you an estimated release date yet? Maybe we need a NICU check-in since there are a few of us, and a few NICU veterans from previous babies!
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
As of now, at least another week. It all depends on Avery but she's still breathing faster than they'd like her to. Yesterday, her heart rate dropped significantly out of the blue and RN just sort of poked her feet to let Avery naturally wake up and reach her normal rate. Because this happened, even though quite common for preemie's, they're going to record it in her chart and if this happens again, there's a default 5 day stay to watch for x, y, z. Ahhhh!
We went this morning but she just got a bath so we couldn't do kangaroo time. Win for the day: She is doing w feeding tube so they'll increase her amt. Here's to our strong little fighters!!
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
I'd like to think that every new day is one day closer to bringing her home.