@ncm0328 I wish I lived near you - I'd totally round up a few of the people I know to come help you move. Or at least pack.
In the meantime - is the military at least helping you with this? I know that when this stuff was happening to my SIL and she had to move cross-country on her own with two kids to where BIL was stationed, the military had people who came in and literally packed up the house for her and delivered it all to where she was moving to (for free!). But they are Army - I'm not sure what branch you are (I want to say Navy or Marines but my brain might be making that up?) or whether any of the others even have that kind of service. Totally think they should, though, in return for your DH's service and what you are going through while he's gone.
@amberraysofdawn My husband is Air Force, and if he's leaving because of a deployment, they won't pay for the spouse to move. If he's leaving for a "365" (year long assignment), they would pay. And of course, if he gets orders to a new base, they pay. I'd guess that no matter what branch, if her husband is deploying, she'd have to move on her own dime. But in the Air Force, they at least get extra pay for deployment. Not sure about other branches.
@amberraysofdawn My husband is Air Force, and if he's leaving because of a deployment, they won't pay for the spouse to move. If he's leaving for a "365" (year long assignment), they would pay. And of course, if he gets orders to a new base, they pay. I'd guess that no matter what branch, if her husband is deploying, she'd have to move on her own dime. But in the Air Force, they at least get extra pay for deployment. Not sure about other branches.
The military loves technicalities no matter the branch! So in that case, they may pay for her to move when he leaves for Japan but probably not while he's deployed.
@amberraysofdawn My husband is Air Force, and if he's leaving because of a deployment, they won't pay for the spouse to move. If he's leaving for a "365" (year long assignment), they would pay. And of course, if he gets orders to a new base, they pay. I'd guess that no matter what branch, if her husband is deploying, she'd have to move on her own dime. But in the Air Force, they at least get extra pay for deployment. Not sure about other branches.
The military loves technicalities no matter the branch! So in that case, they may pay for her to move when he leaves for Japan but probably not while he's deployed.
Thanks @missnc77@JessicaB0627...this is exactly it. They will move us next year when he's due to leave for Japan since it'll be a change of duty station so what I will do is pack up the house, I'll put it all in storage in VA, then next year before he leaves for Japan we will have the Navy move the stuff to CA. I'll have to go without for awhile, but I'll be staying with my parents for a few months and will only need clothes for me and stuff for DD, and will make by with some super cheap basics as far as furniture goes until our stuff can get moved. As far as extra pay for deployment, they keep our BAS the whole time he's on sea duty (so three years) but while he's out whether it be for short term work ups lasting several weeks at a time or for deployment, we get family separation pay which is about $250 a month. Not much, but that and what we get for BAS pay when on shore duty pretty much cancel each other out.
Thanks to everyone else as well for your thoughts, I'm sure everything will go just fine. I'll keep you posted!
Now that DD starts to smile at people I've noticed that she smiles more at DH and my mum. I spend most of the day with her and it makes me so sad to see that she smiles more at other people than at me. I can try as hard as I want, talk to her, smile at her or make goofy faces, I won't get more than a little smirk if I'm lucky. As soon as DH tries it he gets the most adorable smiles. How can that be?
Now that DD starts to smile at people I've noticed that she smiles more at DH and my mum. I spend most of the day with her and it makes me so sad to see that she smiles more at other people than at me. I can try as hard as I want, talk to her, smile at her or make goofy faces, I won't get more than a little smirk if I'm lucky. As soon as DH tries it he gets the most adorable smiles. How can that be?
I'm going to a concert tonight. Childless. With my husband! Ya know, like a real date night? I'm bringing my pump and I'm going to maybe get drunk (2 beers) because I can.
You guys. I'm up before the baby. And the husband. Usually Ezra and I wake up with DHs alarm but since it's Saturday and Ezra didn't go to bed until 2am everyone's asleep but me. responsible me would do the dishes and wash the babies clothes. what I'm actually doing is drinking coffee on the couch while snuggling the dog and watching twilight.
So, like, what do you guys do when you go out with baby? DH and I are thinking of going out in a bit because we are both going a little stir crazy in the house, but we have no idea what to do. We don't want to spend a lot of money, and we'd like to avoid any major crowds because LO hasn't had her 2 months shots yet...
@amberraysofdawn Do you have an outdoor shopping area? Husband and I usually go to lunch on Saturday and walk around with her in the stroller. Makes for a good 2 hour outing before having to feed again.
What is everyone using to reduce these fresh stretch marks ? Coconut oil , bio oil ? Any other ideas ? Thanks !
What stretch marks ?? I'm an unblemished unicorn.
For real though, nothing... They faded enough on their own last time and I don't wear bikinis. If my husband makes the tiger who has earned their stripes joke though I will cut him.
@amberraysofdawn MH and I went to lunch at a brewery/restaurant with an outdoor patio. We sat outside where we could go for a walk with him easily if he had a meltdown, and I nursed under my scarf while having a beer waiting for our food to arrive. It was easy and a nice break, so we'll definitely do it again.
We're also gone for a walk in a park with easy hiking trails. I wore him in my Moby and we only went for about half an hour.
What is everyone using to reduce these fresh stretch marks ? Coconut oil , bio oil ? Any other ideas ? Thanks !
What stretch marks ?? I'm an unblemished unicorn.
For real though, nothing... They faded enough on their own last time and I don't wear bikinis. If my husband makes the tiger who has earned their stripes joke though I will cut him
I *was* an unblemished unicorn for my entire pregnancy. Then I gave birth and my milk came in and my boobs swelled up and got stretch marks all over them. I'm not really complaining, because I'm still grateful knowing I could have a ton more, but still annoyed since I thought I was out of the woods, but apparently not.
What is everyone using to reduce these fresh stretch marks ? Coconut oil , bio oil ? Any other ideas ? Thanks !
What stretch marks ?? I'm an unblemished unicorn.
For real though, nothing... They faded enough on their own last time and I don't wear bikinis. If my husband makes the tiger who has earned their stripes joke though I will cut him.
Coconut oil. I used mainly coconut oil last time and they faded pretty well. Only the deep ones were noticeable a year out...and I wore a bikini anyway stretch marks, csection scar and all. idgaf. It's no secret that I had a kid, and I hate that wet feeling on my stomach from one pieces.
My mom and brother just left. Bring on all the feels now bc it was her first time meeting LO and he absolutely loved her. Super smiley all the time and just an awesome baby while she was here. Glad to have our house to ourselves again but it was really nice to see him with his grandma.
What is everyone using to reduce these fresh stretch marks ? Coconut oil , bio oil ? Any other ideas ? Thanks !
What stretch marks ?? I'm an unblemished unicorn.
For real though, nothing... They faded enough on their own last time and I don't wear bikinis. If my husband makes the tiger who has earned their stripes joke though I will cut him.
Coconut oil. I used mainly coconut oil last time and they faded pretty well. Only the deep ones were noticeable a year out...and I wore a bikini anyway stretch marks, csection scar and all. idgaf. It's no secret that I had a kid, and I hate that wet feeling on my stomach from one pieces.
My in laws are here. They've been at our apartment since 10 am. Our apartment isn't that big. I find sharing this space with anyone but the kids and DH for this long so suffocating. It's going to be a long weekend.
My in laws are here. They've been at our apartment since 10 am. Our apartment isn't that big. I find sharing this space with anyone but the kids and DH for this long so suffocating. It's going to be a long weekend.
I totally feel for you! We have a house and still couldn't do it at this time in our lives. Not with multiple pets, young kids, lack of guest room, and the dynamic we have going on.
They stay in a hotel. We have instituted "visiting hours" to give the down time that is needed. And have a max time (like 2 days max or a bit adjusted for 48 hours if they arrive around dinner time the first day) so no open ended visits and staying for days on end. And DH has to be present, no running off and leaving me to entertain for hours. Also this household is no longer responsible for cooking and cleaning 100% of meals and snacks for them like used to happen.
For instance: Morning - breakfast at hotel for them, group activity with kids then break from them from about 1-3:30ish for "nap time" Then we can all meet up again to go out to eat or an activity. Then go back to our respective places.
Repeat at the next day. Then they leave. You might want to consider this as it relieves a lot of stress.
Oh man, DS just had an epic meltdown in Target. I'm talking purple crying. I took him back to the car, nursed him, and got him calmed down (all while the stroller was just parked by my car because I was one-handed and couldn't get it back in my trunk). He went to sleep, so I thought I would give it another shot. 5 minutes in, another scream fest. I actually had a couple walk by and laugh at me.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
My in laws are here. They've been at our apartment since 10 am. Our apartment isn't that big. I find sharing this space with anyone but the kids and DH for this long so suffocating. It's going to be a long weekend.
I totally feel for you! We have a house and still couldn't do it at this time in our lives. Not with multiple pets, young kids, lack of guest room, and the dynamic we have going on.
They stay in a hotel. We have instituted "visiting hours" to give the down time that is needed. And have a max time (like 2 days max or a bit adjusted for 48 hours if they arrive around dinner time the first day) so no open ended visits and staying for days on end. And DH has to be present, no running off and leaving me to entertain for hours. Also this household is no longer responsible for cooking and cleaning 100% of meals and snacks for them like used to happen.
For instance: Morning - breakfast at hotel for them, group activity with kids then break from them from about 1-3:30ish for "nap time" Then we can all meet up again to go out to eat or an activity. Then go back to our respective places.
Repeat at the next day. Then they leave. You might want to consider this as it relieves a lot of stress.
I feel awful complaining, they don't stay with us since we have two kids, a dog and we have a 2 bedroom apartment. But they come over in the morning from their hotel and camp out, all day long. We cook and clean because my husband likes to cook but I'm so over it already and it's only been 24 hours. It doesn't help that DS1 hasn't seen them since November and is clingy, but I'm just not built for constant entertainment outside of my little family!
My in laws are here. They've been at our apartment since 10 am. Our apartment isn't that big. I find sharing this space with anyone but the kids and DH for this long so suffocating. It's going to be a long weekend.
I totally feel for you! We have a house and still couldn't do it at this time in our lives. Not with multiple pets, young kids, lack of guest room, and the dynamic we have going on.
They stay in a hotel. We have instituted "visiting hours" to give the down time that is needed. And have a max time (like 2 days max or a bit adjusted for 48 hours if they arrive around dinner time the first day) so no open ended visits and staying for days on end. And DH has to be present, no running off and leaving me to entertain for hours. Also this household is no longer responsible for cooking and cleaning 100% of meals and snacks for them like used to happen.
For instance: Morning - breakfast at hotel for them, group activity with kids then break from them from about 1-3:30ish for "nap time" Then we can all meet up again to go out to eat or an activity. Then go back to our respective places.
Repeat at the next day. Then they leave. You might want to consider this as it relieves a lot of stress.
I feel awful complaining, they don't stay with us since we have two kids, a dog and we have a 2 bedroom apartment. But they come over in the morning from their hotel and camp out, all day long. We cook and clean because my husband likes to cook but I'm so over it already and it's only been 24 hours. It doesn't help that DS1 hasn't seen them since November and is clingy, but I'm just not built for constant entertainment outside of my little family!
Oh don't feel bad. That makes sense.
That is why we instituted the "schedule" otherwise we are the campground and full entertainment. And that just didn't work for our family (we also have a toddler).
@missnc77@sjlw After discussing it, DH and I decided to go check out a new aquarium that we haven't visited yet (we love aquariums), so that LO could look at the lights/colors. She LOVED it - was fascinated by the place - but we had forgotten to factor in that it was a Saturday and in the summer (can you tell how home bound we've been lately?) so the place was more crowded than we would have liked. Next time we'll save it for a weekday morning, preferably during the school year. :P
For those of you discussing the coconut oil - what kind did you get? Where in the store are you getting it at? The only stuff I've found so far is in the food area (by the olive oil, etc), and there are a gazillion different kinds, some advertising "medium heat", "mild heat" (they make coconut oil spicy?) etc, and then there was the organic vs virgin vs whatever! This is somewhat more overwhelming than I had thought it would be...
@missnc77@sjlw After discussing it, DH and I decided to go check out a new aquarium that we haven't visited yet (we love aquariums), so that LO could look at the lights/colors. She LOVED it - was fascinated by the place - but we had forgotten to factor in that it was a Saturday and in the summer (can you tell how home bound we've been lately?) so the place was more crowded than we would have liked. Next time we'll save it for a weekday morning, preferably during the school year. :P
Call ahead and ask beforehand if they have school groups during the school year mornings. I ask because we have gone in the mornings during the school year with our toddler to both the aquarium and kids museums and it was just bus loads of kids, so much so it was hard to see anything for our LO. So we always call ahead now.
Oh man, DS just had an epic meltdown in Target. I'm talking purple crying. I took him back to the car, nursed him, and got him calmed down (all while the stroller was just parked by my car because I was one-handed and couldn't get it back in my trunk). He went to sleep, so I thought I would give it another shot. 5 minutes in, another scream fest. I actually had a couple walk by and laugh at me.
Dicks.
So sorry you had a rough trip to Target with LO's meltdown, but it sounds like you handled it well!
Today is Pride in NYC! The parade ends in my neighborhood and it's usually total mayhem during and after until the fireworks. Our street is already blocked off, but I'm hoping it's not too rowdy later that we can't go out with the kids. Fingers crossed for a fun and very safe Pride Sunday!
Today is Pride in NYC! The parade ends in my neighborhood and it's usually total mayhem during and after until the fireworks. Our street is already blocked off, but I'm hoping it's not too rowdy later that we can't go out with the kids. Fingers crossed for a fun and very safe Pride Sunday!
Can you believe they are estimating 2 million people attending this year?!
Today is Pride in NYC! The parade ends in my neighborhood and it's usually total mayhem during and after until the fireworks. Our street is already blocked off, but I'm hoping it's not too rowdy later that we can't go out with the kids. Fingers crossed for a fun and very safe Pride Sunday!
Can you believe they are estimating 2 million people attending this year?!
I know! I'm a little nervous because it's normally difficult to walk anywhere during and after so it's going to be crazy. Our street goes west and has an intersection to the highway so we get a ton of foot traffic crossing to the pier for fireworks. They've blocked our sidewalks so only residents can use the sidewalk and they stay clear of garbage so we can walk the dog later, the only perk of living across from a very fancy building! I just don't know where 2 million people will go? The streets are so tiny?!
For those of you discussing the coconut oil - what kind did you get? Where in the store are you getting it at? The only stuff I've found so far is in the food area (by the olive oil, etc), and there are a gazillion different kinds, some advertising "medium heat", "mild heat" (they make coconut oil spicy?) etc, and then there was the organic vs virgin vs whatever! This is somewhat more overwhelming than I had thought it would be...
Mild and medium refer to which heat level you can successfully cook with the coconut oil. Some cooking oils can tolerate high heat before burning where as coconut oil usually is medium at best. Anyway, buy organic, unrefined coconut oil and you should be set! I prefer the wider, shallow jars so it's easier to get out - the taller, skinnier jars make it almost impossible to get the bottom when you're running low.
My in laws are here. They've been at our apartment since 10 am. Our apartment isn't that big. I find sharing this space with anyone but the kids and DH for this long so suffocating. It's going to be a long weekend.
I totally feel for you! We have a house and still couldn't do it at this time in our lives. Not with multiple pets, young kids, lack of guest room, and the dynamic we have going on.
They stay in a hotel. We have instituted "visiting hours" to give the down time that is needed. And have a max time (like 2 days max or a bit adjusted for 48 hours if they arrive around dinner time the first day) so no open ended visits and staying for days on end. And DH has to be present, no running off and leaving me to entertain for hours. Also this household is no longer responsible for cooking and cleaning 100% of meals and snacks for them like used to happen.
For instance: Morning - breakfast at hotel for them, group activity with kids then break from them from about 1-3:30ish for "nap time" Then we can all meet up again to go out to eat or an activity. Then go back to our respective places.
Repeat at the next day. Then they leave. You might want to consider this as it relieves a lot of stress.
I feel awful complaining, they don't stay with us since we have two kids, a dog and we have a 2 bedroom apartment. But they come over in the morning from their hotel and camp out, all day long. We cook and clean because my husband likes to cook but I'm so over it already and it's only been 24 hours. It doesn't help that DS1 hasn't seen them since November and is clingy, but I'm just not built for constant entertainment outside of my little family!
******QBF******
My MIL stayed for 8 days. It was really hard in part because I just wanted some space! Don't feel bad...I think your reaction is completely normal!
Anyone ever heard of a DockATot? I saw my friend has one on Facebook. I'm thinking about buying one to see if it'll make her nap longer in the crib. She usually does decent, but once those legs get kicking, she's up within 10-15 minutes.
Looking up the doc a tot. They look amazing. Think it will help with the transition to the crib. But $165?? Any one using anything else similar that's a little cheaper?
Super happy that my husband and I had our first night out alone last night to see Flight of the Conchords while my parents watched the baby! Definitely going to make a point of getting out with him regularly after I told my friend we were going and she was amazed/impressed we were going out when baby's only 3 weeks since her and her husband haven't gone out together without the baby and their baby is 7 months! Don't want to fall into that trap!
Life is a lot harder when you get to bed after midnight when you have a baby though... Will aim for earlier date nights moving forward.
@Pascal86 It's so important for us. We have a semi set breakfast date every Saturday morning and it's so nice to just spend some time out of the house. We also both work from home so it makes us not go stir crazy.
I have a friend who's toddler is turning 3 now and they have only had one date since he was born.
Re: Weekly Randoms 6/20
In the meantime - is the military at least helping you with this? I know that when this stuff was happening to my SIL and she had to move cross-country on her own with two kids to where BIL was stationed, the military had people who came in and literally packed up the house for her and delivered it all to where she was moving to (for free!). But they are Army - I'm not sure what branch you are (I want to say Navy or Marines but my brain might be making that up?) or whether any of the others even have that kind of service. Totally think they should, though, in return for your DH's service and what you are going through while he's gone.
Thanks to everyone else as well for your thoughts, I'm sure everything will go just fine. I'll keep you posted!
responsible me would do the dishes and wash the babies clothes.
what I'm actually doing is drinking coffee on the couch while snuggling the dog and watching twilight.
For real though, nothing... They faded enough on their own last time and I don't wear bikinis. If my husband makes the tiger who has earned their stripes joke though I will cut him.
It was easy and a nice break, so we'll definitely do it again.
We're also gone for a walk in a park with easy hiking trails. I wore him in my Moby and we only went for about half an hour.
They stay in a hotel. We have instituted "visiting hours" to give the down time that is needed. And have a max time (like 2 days max or a bit adjusted for 48 hours if they arrive around dinner time the first day) so no open ended visits and staying for days on end. And DH has to be present, no running off and leaving me to entertain for hours. Also this household is no longer responsible for cooking and cleaning 100% of meals and snacks for them like used to happen.
For instance:
Morning - breakfast at hotel for them, group activity with kids then break from them from about 1-3:30ish for "nap time"
Then we can all meet up again to go out to eat or an activity.
Then go back to our respective places.
Repeat at the next day. Then they leave. You might want to consider this as it relieves a lot of stress.
Got the idea from a forum called dealing with the in laws https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
That is why we instituted the "schedule" otherwise we are the campground and full entertainment. And that just didn't work for our family (we also have a toddler).
For those of you discussing the coconut oil - what kind did you get? Where in the store are you getting it at? The only stuff I've found so far is in the food area (by the olive oil, etc), and there are a gazillion different kinds, some advertising "medium heat", "mild heat" (they make coconut oil spicy?) etc, and then there was the organic vs virgin vs whatever! This is somewhat more overwhelming than I had thought it would be...
So we always call ahead now.
So sorry you had a rough trip to Target with LO's meltdown, but it sounds like you handled it well!
Today is Pride in NYC! The parade ends in my neighborhood and it's usually total mayhem during and after until the fireworks. Our street is already blocked off, but I'm hoping it's not too rowdy later that we can't go out with the kids. Fingers crossed for a fun and very safe Pride Sunday!
DS: Born 5-17-16
Life is a lot harder when you get to bed after midnight when you have a baby though... Will aim for earlier date nights moving forward.
I have a friend who's toddler is turning 3 now and they have only had one date since he was born.