My husband home-brews so we have a few "home brewed" onesies that people gave us. I'm pumped about them. I am also totally ordering this "Pizza Rolls Not Gender Rolls" romper. FUCK YES.
My UO today: If you like to get freaky, save it for Friday confession on your board. Better yet, just save it. Ain't nobody happy to see that shiz pop in.
I'm also in the group of not really liking most onesies with sayings on them. I especially hate the ones that refer to other family members as being the "cool" one or the one that "spoils" the baby. It doesn't seem fair that we as moms go through all that we do just to have our baby pretty much sporting something that says "Yeah, moms a b*tch because grandma gives me whatever I want".
There is just one onesie that I will be getting that has stuff on the front because my husband and I are huge nerds and it fits.
I totally think it's what the onsies says that makes the difference. We got instead refers to my sons muscles that makes me cringe but I also got TeamMommy and TeamDaddy Olympic styled ones that I love for our summer tv time.
@DobbysSock you're right I wasn't really offended at all, probably because I do WANT to at least try it again before totally giving up on it, because, every child is different and there's a small possibility I could have an easier time this go around. But, I agree with you that every individual mom's feeding choice should be up to her and if she doesn't WANT to breastfeed she shouldn't have to even try without any judgment from anyone.
@rnyland1 I'm glad you weren't I have a couple of friends who really struggled and some of the insensitive shit people said to them made their experience 100x worse than it could have been if people were supportive and accepting, or even if people just kept their mouths shut if they had an opinion. It made my blood boil and heart break seeing them so beaten down by it all, so I am admittedly sensitive to comments that are anything other than 100% supportive of a mom taking whatever path she chooses (or needs to take) in regards to feeding her child. I should have left you out of my comment, though, instead of projecting my friends' feelings onto you.
I hope breastfeeding is a more positive experience for you this time around! I've heard of some people having a completely different experience the second time around so fingers crossed that happens for you.
@Nerdchild I am the same way, I hate the character stuff. If my child down the road decides to like Mickey, okay then she can have all the Mickey stuff, but right now nice cute patterns or plain shirts please. Someone bought a Winnie the Poo diaper bag, I left it at my parents house as the backup.
I will preface this by saying that I grew up pretty close the the Cincinnati Zoo and so my FB has been exploding with the gorilla story this week. My UO is that the child's life > gorilla life. Am I sad that the gorilla was shot and killed? Yes. But I'm more thankful that the boy wasn't hurt worse. I think by calling the mom names and a bad parent perpetuates mommy/ parenting wars. 99.9% of the people posting weren't there and don't know what happened... I'm not even going to start assuming about the mom or the boy. Also, what about the zoo workers who had to shoot the gorilla? These people dedicate their entire careers to these animals and had to make the decision in the moment to do what what they felt was in the best interest of the child. No one is talking about how they feel in all this. Ugh. I'll get off my soap box now.
UO: I don't like the nursery thread. It takes forever to load on both my desktop and phone, and both my computer and phone freak out when I try to open it. I however hate the little yellow notifications next to the thread MORE, so I continue to open it. Ugh.
I will preface this by saying that I grew up pretty close the the Cincinnati Zoo and so my FB has been exploding with the gorilla story this week. My UO is that the child's life > gorilla life. Am I sad that the gorilla was shot and killed? Yes. But I'm more thankful that the boy wasn't hurt worse. I think by calling the mom names and a bad parent perpetuates mommy/ parenting wars. 99.9% of the people posting weren't there and don't know what happened... I'm not even going to start assuming about the mom or the boy. Also, what about the zoo workers who had to shoot the gorilla? These people dedicate their entire careers to these animals and had to make the decision in the moment to do what what they felt was in the best interest of the child. No one is talking about how they feel in all this. Ugh. I'll get off my soap box now.
I have been avoiding the whole thing because I see so many points to it. Part of me is like "Why aren't you watching your kid better?" the other is "OMG...that could have happened to anyone because kids are so damn fast!" and everything else under the sun. I wasn't there, I didn't see what happened, and so I don't know how I feel.
But I like that you brought up the zoo keepers that had to do what they did. I am sure that they will get a lot of shit over what happened, without very many people stopping to think about how awful the zoo keepers probably feel, having to make a split second decision on what was best in the situation. Something along those lines, there is a five lane road just down from my house, and people are hit by cars and killed there all of the time. When it is reported, the comments that come flying in about how the driver "obviously was on the phone", how they were "distracted", how the "pedestrian had the right away at all times", and negative comments bout the driver are non-stop. People that aren't even close to that road, have no idea how scary it is AS A DRIVER to be on that road, because there are constantly people darting across all five lanes (even with their children), in dark clothing at night, when there is a crosswalk about 50-100 feet away. Pedestrians have the right away, but only in a controlled intersection....not when they are jaywalking. I drive on that road at least three times a day, and in a 2 mile stretch of it, I will see at least 1-2 people darting across five lanes of traffic. The last person that was hit and killed, was hit by a 20 year old, and everyone was going off on this young guy because they assumed he was on his phone, drinking, or on drugs. He wasn't doing any of that, and nobody bothered to point out the fact that a 20 year old guy is now going to live with what happened, for the rest of his life, because of the fact that the guy (wearing all black, at night) decided he didn't want to walk the additional 30 feet (literally) to get to the crosswalk. Its not like he was out to hit some guy on purpose that night.....
The zoo keepers were damned if they did, and damned if they didn't. They were pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place, and its not like they had several hours to call a meeting and decide the best approach. I feel bad for them......
@PhoebeJune1984 - People are so quick to say how they would've reacted or what they would've done differently, but the fact is... no one really knows because it didn't happen to them. The police are doing an investigation and I'm sure if they find that the mom was truly negligent, then charges will be filed. That's their job, not mine. Same goes with your example. When people find out I was in a car accident last week, they ask if there were others involved. As soon as I say 'no', then the judgment starts assuming that I was distracted, speeding, or just a bad driver. Even the cop that responded said it's an awful part of road and accidents happen there all the time. He even commended me on how well I kept the car under control because most people end up hitting a fire hydrant or down in the creek. But people don't want to hear that... do I feel guilty? Yes. But it happened and I can't change it. Are there things that I wish I would've done differently? Yes, but again, I can't turn back time. I don't want to be judged and neither does anyone involved in the zoo incident. We weren't there, and didn't have to make those decisions. This topic has been so hot this week with my group of FB friends and it makes me so upset that people are valuing an animal life over a child/person. You can be upset about the death of the gorilla, but that doesn't and shouldn't take away that a child got hurt and the potential of a worse outcome was avoided. I could really go on and on.
I am under no illusions about how quickly a child can slip away, no matter how diligently you're watching them. Also, 4yo boys are capable of a limitless amount of nonsense. That poor woman could be any of us. And if you think otherwise you're delusional.
I am under no illusions about how quickly a child can slip away, no matter how diligently you're watching them. Also, 4yo boys are capable of a limitless amount of nonsense. That poor woman could be any of us. And if you think otherwise you're delusional.
Yup. I've got a 2 year old who doesn't even move THAT fast yet, and I can't tell you the terror when you let go of your toddler's hand to unlock the car door, and she decides to bolt out into the road. Literally, I let go for under 5 seconds and she was off. Thank god it was a quiet side road and no vehicles at the time.
I read somewhere that the mom in this story had another child with her, whom she was tending to at the time, so it's not like she was sitting on a bench playing on her phone while her kid climbed the enclosure. A zoo is a relatively safe, controlled environment - no vehicles, etc., and I wouldn't assume that it would be easy for a child to get into an animal enclosure. I was at a zoo with my siblings and parents last summer, with my 2 nephews (3.5 and 1.5) and DD (1.5), and even with more adults than kids there were moments when a toddler got excited and bolted off a few metres ahead of us. I can also tell you now that MOST toddlers will not be willing to hold your hand and walk in an orderly fashion for hours on end, so unless you're hunched over with your arms out following within arms reach constantly, you're not going to be in 100% of control of your kid at all times.
My unpopular Cincy zoo opinion -- the parents should be held responsible. Name-calling is childish and unnecessary, but if you take on the responsibility of taking a child or children to the zoo you take on the responsibility of supervising them. I'm well aware that kids can move quickly and quite familiar with managing a large group (I'm the principal of a K-8 school and have personally chaperoned MANY zoo field trips) that said, you took the kid, you need to keep him under your control.
My unpopular Cincy zoo opinion -- the parents should be held responsible. Name-calling is childish and unnecessary, but if you take on the responsibility of taking a child or children to the zoo you take on the responsibility of supervising them. I'm well aware that kids can move quickly and quite familiar with managing a large group (I'm the principal of a K-8 school and have personally chaperoned MANY zoo field trips) that said, you took the kid, you need to keep him under your control.
First of all, @Tatiana616's gif game is on point this week. Secondly, @ESchreinerWrites a whole basket full of nopes. I'm a preschool teacher and not a very permissive one. I don't believe in free range parenting and not saying no. But children are not actually something you can control. You do your best to teach them how to be smart capable members of society and then you hope some of that shit sticks.
@elenabrent Children are entirely something you can control -- albeit doing so isn't easy. As a parent, it's about gauging risk and determining your ability to mitigate them. A zoo is obviously riskier than your family room. If you can't keep a kid safe in a riskier space, don't take him or her there. This exhibit has been largely unchanged for 30+ years, so this isn't a case of "Oh, well, it was super dangerous and kids fall in all the time." Despite the fact that millions of other children had been around the exhibit, NONE of them had suffered the same fate. Why? Because people were controlling their children.
@ESchreinerWrites NO. As a parent you cannot and will not be able to prevent every single accident from happening, even if you are good at controlling your kid and a responsible adult. Are kids falling into the zoo exhibit all the time? No, but it has happened before at other zoos. And this won't be the last time. That's because it's easy to get distracted in a crowded public place and losing track of your kid for mere seconds can be disastrous. No matter how well you train your kid they can still act unpredictably and do what they want. And just because the enclosure has been unchanged for 30 years does NOT mean that the exhibit shouldn't have been changed/updated/reinforced. I think there were a lot of factors at play here. While the parents should be at least partly responsible they are definitely not solely responsible.
@rnyland1 No one, myself included, is saying you can control your child at every time. However, when you are in a situation that is more dangerous than typical (I.e. in close proximity to a silverback gorilla) you need to be extra vigilant. Had this child been under the supervision of a daycare or school, you can bet your breeches everyone would be saying "oh, gosh, this place should be investigated!" Why shouldn't Mom be subject to the same scrutiny?
Well obviously you have never been around young children then. So many things wrong with what you are saying. First off, yes my children will respect adults and boundaries but I cannot CONTROL them all the time.
My 21 month old son has had a mind of his own since the day he came into this world. That being said, he is semi respectful when he wants to be but he is a child. He acts out. I can attempt to control him but in the end, do I want to "control" him 100% of the time? No. Not at all. I want him to make mistakes and learn from them (not saying I want him to sneak into a gorilla exhibit and learn his lesson not to run away). There is a difference between controlling your child and teaching/showing them how to be functioning responsible adults when they grow up.
I'm annoyed by what you're saying so my thoughts are jumbled but if you think you will be able to control your child 100% of the time, you are in for a rude awakening.
Edited because the bump app sucks and cut off half my comment and reminded me how hard it is to use the app. Aghh
@ESchreinerWritesI believe the police are investigating. I highly doubt the police will be able to charge these parents with any sort of crime, even negligence, if the situation appears to be truly accidental.
Obviously something wasn't quite right with the enclosure if the child was able to get in. I feel terribly for the mother, as well as for the employees at the zoo. Nobody wanted to make that call, but I believe it was the right one.
As a result of this incident, I hope that there are more thorough investigations at the various zoos throughout the country in hope that we can potentially avoid something like this happening in the future.
@mrsllove Quite aggressed. Goodness. Actually, I've been part of the community since I found out I was pregnant with my second child after a battle with infertility back in November. As you can see, I've posted before, though more often just read about others because, at times, I find responses -- like yours, unfortunately -- to be a bit aggressive and cliquish
That being said, yes. I have been around young children. I was a school teacher, am a principal, have a bachelors and masters in education and have a son of my own who is now 7.
I just disagree with you. That is all.
Edited to add - wait, perhaps I misunderstood the first part of your message. In re-reading it appears you were identifying yourself as a lurker, not calling me one. Is that the case? If so, I apologize for taking offense to that section of your response.
@rnyland1 yeah, I heard that, too. Personally, I don't necessarily think she needs to be "charged" with anyhing (esspecially if investigation yields evidence that she really was doing her due diligence -- which I will totally allow is a possibility).
I think part of the challenge for me is in my professional role I continually see parents shirking all responsibility for, basically, everything, and trying to blame literally everyone else. I'm predisposed to feel this way, unfortunately
I am sure that poor mother feels terrible. That's enough. Accidents happen. I wasn't there so I don't know the specifics, but even the most vigilant parent can lose track of a child for a moment. And if that child dives into a trench instead of running into the crowds I can imagine the confusion and panic.
I'm also a teacher and the Assistant Director of a school. I disagree COMPLETELY that children are something to be controlled. In fact, my most difficult students are those of parents who control and manage their every move. You're stunting your kids now and in the future by trying to control them.
Furthermore, I was raised by a parent that tried to control her children, both while we were young and as we grew. We have no relationship now. And since I've bonded with a number of women here about our parents, it's common enough to use it as a cautionary tale. Don't try to control and micromanage your kids. Don't take their every action and thought as your responsibility. It's not healthy for them, and it's not healthy for you.
Re: Unpopular Opinion Thursday
https://www.feministapparel.com/collections/feminist-baby-onesies/products/pizza-rolls-not-gender-roles-baby-onesie?variant=3570220161
ETA: I donated all the onesies we were given with stupid sexist/gendered/corny text.
July BMB June Signature
There is just one onesie that I will be getting that has stuff on the front because my husband and I are huge nerds and it fits.
I hope breastfeeding is a more positive experience for you this time around! I've heard of some people having a completely different experience the second time around so fingers crossed that happens for you.
Married May 16th 2015
July BMB June Siggy
Married May 16th 2015
July BMB June Siggy
Married May 16th 2015
July BMB June Siggy
But I like that you brought up the zoo keepers that had to do what they did. I am sure that they will get a lot of shit over what happened, without very many people stopping to think about how awful the zoo keepers probably feel, having to make a split second decision on what was best in the situation. Something along those lines, there is a five lane road just down from my house, and people are hit by cars and killed there all of the time. When it is reported, the comments that come flying in about how the driver "obviously was on the phone", how they were "distracted", how the "pedestrian had the right away at all times", and negative comments bout the driver are non-stop. People that aren't even close to that road, have no idea how scary it is AS A DRIVER to be on that road, because there are constantly people darting across all five lanes (even with their children), in dark clothing at night, when there is a crosswalk about 50-100 feet away. Pedestrians have the right away, but only in a controlled intersection....not when they are jaywalking. I drive on that road at least three times a day, and in a 2 mile stretch of it, I will see at least 1-2 people darting across five lanes of traffic. The last person that was hit and killed, was hit by a 20 year old, and everyone was going off on this young guy because they assumed he was on his phone, drinking, or on drugs. He wasn't doing any of that, and nobody bothered to point out the fact that a 20 year old guy is now going to live with what happened, for the rest of his life, because of the fact that the guy (wearing all black, at night) decided he didn't want to walk the additional 30 feet (literally) to get to the crosswalk. Its not like he was out to hit some guy on purpose that night.....
The zoo keepers were damned if they did, and damned if they didn't. They were pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place, and its not like they had several hours to call a meeting and decide the best approach. I feel bad for them......
I read somewhere that the mom in this story had another child with her, whom she was tending to at the time, so it's not like she was sitting on a bench playing on her phone while her kid climbed the enclosure. A zoo is a relatively safe, controlled environment - no vehicles, etc., and I wouldn't assume that it would be easy for a child to get into an animal enclosure. I was at a zoo with my siblings and parents last summer, with my 2 nephews (3.5 and 1.5) and DD (1.5), and even with more adults than kids there were moments when a toddler got excited and bolted off a few metres ahead of us. I can also tell you now that MOST toddlers will not be willing to hold your hand and walk in an orderly fashion for hours on end, so unless you're hunched over with your arms out following within arms reach constantly, you're not going to be in 100% of control of your kid at all times.
You know nothing John Snow.
July BMB June Signature
"Children are entirely something you can control"
Well obviously you have never been around young children then. So many things wrong with what you are saying. First off, yes my children will respect adults and boundaries but I cannot CONTROL them all the time.
My 21 month old son has had a mind of his own since the day he came into this world. That being said, he is semi respectful when he wants to be but he is a child. He acts out. I can attempt to control him but in the end, do I want to "control" him 100% of the time? No. Not at all. I want him to make mistakes and learn from them (not saying I want him to sneak into a gorilla exhibit and learn his lesson not to run away). There is a difference between controlling your child and teaching/showing them how to be functioning responsible adults when they grow up.
I'm annoyed by what you're saying so my thoughts are jumbled but if you think you will be able to control your child 100% of the time, you are in for a rude awakening.
Edited because the bump app sucks and cut off half my comment and reminded me how hard it is to use the app. Aghh
In all seriousness though, I will probably be getting a child leash. After having 3 large dogs leash control is something I am 100% comfortable with.
Obviously something wasn't quite right with the enclosure if the child was able to get in. I feel terribly for the mother, as well as for the employees at the zoo. Nobody wanted to make that call, but I believe it was the right one.
As a result of this incident, I hope that there are more thorough investigations at the various zoos throughout the country in hope that we can potentially avoid something like this happening in the future.
That being said, yes. I have been around young children. I was a school teacher, am a principal, have a bachelors and masters in education and have a son of my own who is now 7.
Edited to add - wait, perhaps I misunderstood the first part of your message. In re-reading it appears you were identifying yourself as a lurker, not calling me one. Is that the case? If so, I apologize for taking offense to that section of your response.
I think part of the challenge for me is in my professional role I continually see parents shirking all responsibility for, basically, everything, and trying to blame literally everyone else. I'm predisposed to feel this way, unfortunately
I'm also a teacher and the Assistant Director of a school. I disagree COMPLETELY that children are something to be controlled. In fact, my most difficult students are those of parents who control and manage their every move. You're stunting your kids now and in the future by trying to control them.
Furthermore, I was raised by a parent that tried to control her children, both while we were young and as we grew. We have no relationship now. And since I've bonded with a number of women here about our parents, it's common enough to use it as a cautionary tale. Don't try to control and micromanage your kids. Don't take their every action and thought as your responsibility. It's not healthy for them, and it's not healthy for you.