Unpopular Opinion Thursday

rnyland1

Let's hear those unpopular opinions ladies -- the more unpopular the better.

rnyland1

My UO: I already kind of went over this in the Thursday ticker change thread, but I really didn't like breastfeeding last time. The thought of having to do it again is already stressing me out. If I could go straight to FF without feeling super judged then I probably would...

samantha1206

@rnyland1
ME TOO.  I have been in continuous worry over this. 

LDSJM123

rnyland1 said:

My UO: I already kind of went over this in the Thursday ticker change thread, but I really didn't like breastfeeding last time. The thought of having to do it again is already stressing me out. If I could go straight to FF without feeling super judged then I probably would...

I give you mad props for trying. Especially given how much you did not like it last time. Try to stay optimistic about it this time though, you may fall in love with it/have an easier time this go around. I know it's not my baby or body and how they eat is none of my business, but I have a bigger issue with women that don't even try (outside of some serious medical issues) That I don't understand. 

BecauseBabyIamAPug

@LDSJM123 you don't have to understand it. Not your body. If some one doesn't want to BF, they don't have to. They don't need to run their 'excuse ' by you for approval.

rnyland1

@LDSJM123 thanks! It could have been because I had such a short maternity leave last time (6 weeks) so I quickly became a slave to the pump (which I hated). That and I had mastitis at one point. That's enough to drive anyone crazy! But just thinking about breastfeeding brings back some of those not-so-good memories

Weville

@rnyland1 If you don't like/ don't want to breast feed then don't. You do not owe anyone an explanation or justification. Just feed your baby and be happy 

carolynpetite

@rnyland1 I think you should do whatever you think is the best for you and your baby - who cares what anyone else thinks? It's each of our jobs to do what's best for OUR families - which is different for everyone! I nursed both of my kiddos for the first year because that's what worked for us. Breastfeeding my first was so stressful in the beginning but it just was easier with the 2nd that time around. (Wanted to say that in case you wanted encouragement to try again.) If you do want to try again, do it, but give yourself grace to quit whenever you want without worry. Stressing out over it isn't worth it or good for you or your baby. Tons of people go straight to formula and seriously - we all turn out the same! 

joleri23

I don't know if this is an UO or a popular one: I am really hating the way my late-term belly looks. It has a gross shape and it just looks garish. Not cute at all! I know all of this is a miracle and whatnot, but I feel hideous. I can't remember who said it but someone yesterday wrote that she felt like a small planet. That sums it up perfectly! I feel like a circus freak and I'm soooooo sick of people asking how I feel, when I'm due, etc., etc.

sami1784

I think that headbands with gigantic bows on small babies just look ridiculous.  If the bow is even 1/2 the size of the baby's head, it's too big... I can't stand the ones where the bow is just about as big as the baby's head.

LDSJM123

BecauseBabyIamAPug said:

@LDSJM123 you don't have to understand it. Not your body. If some one doesn't want to BF, they don't have to. They don't need to run their 'excuse ' by you for approval.

I would never ever, in a bajillion years say something to anyone, ever,  if they decided not to try. Nor would I ask their reason. Happy baby and happy mama are all that matter. It's an UO, I just don't understand not trying. 

[Deleted User]

@joleri23 I am with you! Mine is so discolored from stretch marks/visible veins. I was wearing a sports bra around the house yesterday and every time I looked down I just wanted to cry. 

mandyjulie

LDSJM123 said:

rnyland1 said:

My UO: I already kind of went over this in the Thursday ticker change thread, but I really didn't like breastfeeding last time. The thought of having to do it again is already stressing me out. If I could go straight to FF without feeling super judged then I probably would...

I know it's not my baby or body and how they eat is none of my business, but I have a bigger issue with women that don't even try (outside of some serious medical issues) That I don't understand. 

Just know that you are the reason they feel judged for their choice, despite whether you say anything or not. Also, you're not saying it to anyone's faces, but you're saying it on this forum, and there are going to be people here to make that choice. So you are judging others right here.

I really dislike when people say: "I don't understand why people don't just..." for EVERY choice in this world. Especially parenting choices. It shows that you think you know better than others even though you aren't in their shoes or heads.

If you really want to "understand" then check out this thread https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12516293/anyone-here-ff-by-choice-from-the-start/p1

ncm1919

I hate false modesty. I think it is so overrated. Especially in women.

I'm not saying I think we should all run around bragging or being pompous. But I don't think there is anything wrong with acknowledging your strengths all while admitting to the places you aren't as strong. 

I especially hate self deprecating nonsense in the work place. No thanks 

rnyland1

@schaze agreed. Kudos to the mamas to be still rockin' their bikinis out there. My belly looks like a highway road map right now with all the visible blue veins everywhere so I'm going to be covered up in my tankini. That and with my half popped-out belly button only DH gets to see what's under there. "grotesque" is exactly how I'm feeling right now. In general I think other pregnant people look cute though. When the nurse came at me with the Doppler at my last appointment she said "Oh, what a beautiful belly!" So I think we're all our biggest critics.

allthingscozy

Mine may be unpopular or popular but I really don't need feel a desire to ever have a fist up my vag despite all the "benefits" 

Nerdchild

I kind of hate being on 'maternity leave' already. Just shy of a week in and I am so bored. 

arhodes6

@Natinat6 I totally agree! I think it is our society and culture making women feel bad for their accomplishments and strengths. When a women is outwardly proud to be strong, smart, good at her job, good at being a mom, etc. she is viewed as a bitch or superior. But if a man is just as confident they are viewed as leaders or being "boss". I try to be outwardly proud of what I have accomplished, and some men I know are intimidated by my strength, and some women I know think I am a conceded bitch. But hey! I am proud of where I have been and how I got here! I am not going to diminish myself to make society more comfortable around me. And my husband and family LOVE my strength and pride that I have in myself and those are the people who matter most to me. I am not saying that I brag about myself all the time, or try to make people feel bad, but I am also not going to hide who I am. I am a strong, independent, self-willed, confident, smart lady who speaks her mind! 

YeezusButters

I think onesies that say shit like, "If Mommy won't, Grandma will" are shit stirrers. In fact, a lot of the text I see on an infant's clothing makes me cringe.

PinkLady2015

UO: I think we should have a separate post devoted solely to the topic of fisting.

winnie1122

@Nerdchild Me too, and then I feel bad because while I was working I couldn't wait to be done. It's just hard to be productive when just moving around is uncomfortable and tiring, but sitting around all day is so incredibly boring.

Nerdchild

YeezusButters said:

I think onesies that say shit like, "If Mommy won't, Grandma will" are shit stirrers. In fact, a lot of the text I see on an infant's clothing makes me cringe.

Yes!!!! If anyone thinks grandma (my mom) is going to spoil my child they obviously don't know my mother. My mom is staunchly 'your baby, your rules' (which is why I adore her). 

lizhurt

YeezusButters said:

I think onesies that say shit like, "If Mommy won't, Grandma will" are shit stirrers. In fact, a lot of the text I see on an infant's clothing makes me cringe.

THANK YOU. I am already mostly biased against baby clothing with text on it, since I think it is tacky, but I especially hate the corny ones like that. Like how everyone who has bought us clothing with sayings on it so far has gone for the "Handsome like Daddy" or "Chilling with Daddy" stuff just because he's a boy. I am going to find him a onesie that says "Feminist like Mommy" or "Taking down the patriarchy with Mommy" just to be a brat.

twinpeaksmama

@YeezusButters I totally agree with you about the sayings on onesies. While there are some that are cute, most of them are cringe worthy. My husband often says that it's an outfit not a Twitter feed. There was one that I thought was funny and I still didn't buy it. It had a baby bottle on it and below it said "I'll have a bottle of the house white". Sure, it made me chuckle but I decided against it.

deuxbouledogues

@lizhurt  I believe @elenabrent posted a website for cool clothes like that awhile back.... I want to say feministapparel.com but I could be wrong?

Kellyj103

My UO: I love onesies based on rap lyrics. Maybe you think it's tacky but I think it's so cute, I have a whole collections going now. This is one of my favorites because my husband and I love us some Kendrick Lamar. 

jennyleigh16

I'm actually surprised so many women in the states breastfeed. I know how lucky I am to live in Canada and have the year of mat leave, but to start breastfeeding, get used to the learning curve and then either have to pump or switch to formula within 6-12 weeks because you have to go back to work...? Kudos to you guys, I don't know that I could do it. 

I really really dislike the onesies that sexualize babies. The ones like "lock up your daughters" or "future heartbreaker". I like some of the text ones but the vast majority seem to be sending the wrong message way, way too young.  

soberkfell

Nerdchild said:

YeezusButters said:

I think onesies that say shit like, "If Mommy won't, Grandma will" are shit stirrers. In fact, a lot of the text I see on an infant's clothing makes me cringe.

Yes!!!! If anyone thinks grandma (my mom) is going to spoil my child they obviously don't know my mother. My mom is staunchly 'your baby, your rules' (which is why I adore her). 

My UO stems from this - just because you're the grandma does NOT make it OK for you to spoil my kid and undermine my decisions for how to raise my child. My MIL does this all the time, and it pisses me off. And instead of putting her big girl panties on and standing firm as an adult, she just makes me out to be the bad guy when she tells DS "no" - "Mommy doesn't want you to have a binky." Why is it so hard to just repeat what I said? "Binkies are for bedtime only"?!

Nerdchild

@soberkfell That would drive me batshit. I'm afraid my MIL will be this way (if/when she is allowed back in our lives at some point).

coffeeandcupcakes

UO: I don't like the nursery thread.  It takes forever to load on both my desktop and phone, and both my computer and phone freak out when I try to open it.  I however hate the little yellow notifications next to the thread MORE, so I continue to open it. Ugh.

rnyland1

@soberkfell YES! my mom does that sort of crap just to stir up trouble.

DobbysSock

LDSJM123 said:

rnyland1 said:

My UO: I already kind of went over this in the Thursday ticker change thread, but I really didn't like breastfeeding last time. The thought of having to do it again is already stressing me out. If I could go straight to FF without feeling super judged then I probably would...

I give you mad props for trying. Especially given how much you did not like it last time. Try to stay optimistic about it this time though, you may fall in love with it/have an easier time this go around. I know it's not my baby or body and how they eat is none of my business, but I have a bigger issue with women that don't even try (outside of some serious medical issues) That I don't understand. 

@LDSJM123  ...why would you have any issue whatsoever with whether a woman breastfeeds or not? You say it's none of your business but then go on to say you have an issue with women who don't try, and that you don't understand. Well, it doesn't matter if you understand or not. Her child, her body, her choice. the post you're responding to says "If I could go straight to FF without feeling super judged than I probably would..." so you decide that the way to be helpful is to basically say you would have a "bigger issue" with her choice if she didn't try? Do you not see that your type of response IS the judgy respone that rnyland is probably talking about?

@rnyland do what you need to do to be a happy, healthy, and sane mom. If that means deciding to formula feed immediately, don't let judgy mcjudgersons make you feel bad about it. If that means deciding to give breastfeeding another go, go for it. You don't even have to share with anyone whether you tried or not - if someone asks (which really, none of their damn business) just say "breastfeeding didn't work for us". Or say "none of your damn business", that works too.

ETA: I just saw that rnyland responded and didn't feel offended by your comment, so I apologize for assuming she would. I stand by the rest of my response.

KASG

I don't believe all the stuff I keep seeing on Facebook about like "don't eat this, don't go here." Before you know it, we'll be down to eating air.

PootsDragon

I also hate text on baby clothes- this one sounds like a pretty popular opinion at this point though. My baby isn't a prop or accessory and he can't express his opinions yet so I won't be putting any words in his mouth or signs on his back (or front).

UO: I don't think pumping at work sounds bad at all. I will get a 30 minute break every 2-3 hours where I'm forced to relax on a private sofa and allowed to relieve my boob pressure during work? Like I'm getting paid for this? SWEET! Maybe it's because I'm in the bathroom squeezing and dabbing to relieve pressure now though. It sucks. Looking forward to being recognized as a lactating person and having privileges. 

rnyland1

@DobbysSock you're right I wasn't really offended at all, probably because I do WANT to at least try it again before totally giving up on it, because, every child is different and there's a small possibility I could have an easier time this go around.  But, I agree with you that every individual mom's feeding choice should be up to her and if she doesn't WANT to breastfeed she shouldn't have to even try without any judgment from anyone.

thepen15ismighty

I bought a onesie from etsy that says home brewed on it with little pint glasses, because my husband is a beer snob and I thought it was adorable. Meh.

joleri23

@Kellyj103 OMG yaaaasssss!!!! My friend bought me a "Straight Outta Mommy" onesie and I adore it! I also spent like 10 minutes laughing at a Drake onesie yesterday that says "Started from the belly now I'm here." Hilarious!

I guess my really UO is that I don't mind onesies that have sayings on them. I certainly don't like all of them - especially ones about "no one gets to date my daughter" and crap like that - but I don't mind ones that say Queen Bee or things like that. Especially because I received so many for free.

TiffRox81

@joleri23 HAHAHA! I like the Drake one. That's pretty funny! 

YeezusButters

I didn't say I hated all the onesies with text. There are most definitely exceptions.

Kellyj103

@joleri23 OMG I want that Drake onesie! Lol! Too funny! My next purchase for sure.

jennyleigh16

@soberkfell My MIL does this with my nephew. "Oh I guess mommy says you can't have cookies before dinner" or my personal favourite "you love grandma, don't you? Tell daddy to let grandma come visit more often". Cause manipulating the child is going to get you more visiting time. That shit is not gonna fly with my kid in my house.