July 2016 Moms
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FFFC

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Re: FFFC

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    I used a bottle until I was like 4. I actually remember when my mom tricked me into giving it up, we went on a trip somewhere and she "forgot" my bottle and by the time we got home I didn't care anymore. I think I turned out fine? We also have good friends whose daughter used her paci until she was 7, no sensory issues or anything, she just wanted it. She also turned out fine. 

    There are so many better things to be judgy about, I just really can't get on board with caring about how old your kid with the pacifier is. That being said I tossed my son's cold turkey at 18 months because I didn't want to keep track of the damn thing anymore. He is also fine!
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    I never used a pacifier, but I totally sucked my thumb until I was at least 8 (much to my mom's dismay). I was just stubborn and am bad at breaking habits and it's hard to take a thumb away. I finally quit....then started biting my nails, which I still do. Besides the nail biting, I turned out ok. But I do hope my kid is not a thumb sucker. 

    @oandmplus1 Just out of curiosity, have you tried a weighted blanket with her? First time mom myself so I don't have much firsthand experience, but have a few family members and have worked with kids with Autism that found weighted blankets to be helpful with sensory issues. I don't know if it would really help with the paci issue, but maybe it would? 
    Married 6/1/13
    BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
    BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
    BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
    BFP #4  4/2015 MC 7/1/15
    BFP #5 10/21/15  EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow! 
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    DataJane said:
    I used a bottle until I was like 4. I actually remember when my mom tricked me into giving it up, we went on a trip somewhere and she "forgot" my bottle and by the time we got home I didn't care anymore. I think I turned out fine? We also have good friends whose daughter used her paci until she was 7, no sensory issues or anything, she just wanted it. She also turned out fine. 

    There are so many better things to be judgy about, I just really can't get on board with caring about how old your kid with the pacifier is. That being said I tossed my son's cold turkey at 18 months because I didn't want to keep track of the damn thing anymore. He is also fine!

    My concern comes from dental/speech issues that can be caused by extended bottle/pacifier use. If there weren't any of those ramifications then I would've let DD use her pacifier longer than we did. Same reason why I breastfed from the breast instead of pump whenever possible, it supposedly helps work muscles in the baby's anatomy that a bottle doesn't.

    But yeah... there's kids that may not encounter speech/dental issues. I just didn't want to risk it. And if my kid hadn't taken to the breast, then I would've pumped or gone to formula right away if I had supply issues. We should all just do the best we can with the information we have!

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    @megstervt I seriously need your help, I think.  This is also part of my confession. My 5 year old DD still uses her paci at night. In my defense she has Autism and significant sensory issues (she is non-verbal too) and the meltdown at night without it is so bad I can't calm her down.

    I once took out both my toddlers in the middle of the night to buy a new one because she was so beyond being able to be calmed down (for those of you who haven't had the pleasure, a meltdown for a kid with Autism is not just your average meltdown at times).

    I wish someone could spend the night with me to help me figure out how to get rid of it!
    I know someone else that is in the same boat. Her son is four and still has one, and has epilepsy. If he gets worked up, he ends up having a seizure. So they have no idea how to get rid of the thing, because every time they try, he starts losing it and has a seizure. :(
    _____________________________________________
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    My FFFC is that my son turns 3 in October and I haven't done any potty training. My son hasn't really shown much/any interest in it. My H and I both work full time so I don't even know where to start :(
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    @oandmplus1 I generally give families a pass for bedtime stuff as long as they're aware of the potential issues (like dental stuff in this case).  Sleep is so vital for so many reasons that it's really a "pick your battles" issue in my opinion as long as everyone is OK with the current situation.

    Depending on her level of understanding and ability to delay reinforcement you could try contracting for a special treat contingent on no paci ("if you go to bed without the paci you can have ____ in the morning").  Also some families I've worked with have had success cutting the nipple part so over time there is less and less to suck on.  One family I worked with actually had to start by just puncturing a pin size hole and gradually making it bigger before starting to cut.  Took them close to 5 months to fade it, but they did it.  I've also worked with one mom who decided enough was enough and essentially went to a cry it out method.  We taught her son other self soothing strategies (like the weighted blanket, deep breaths, yoga before bed to relax, etc) and then she took off a week from work and just went for it cold turkey.  It sucked for a couple days but since she wasn't working she got through it and he's never looked back.  This was to break the habit of sleeping in moms bed, but you could apply the same ideas.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 29 & Husband: 36                                                         
    Married: October 2014
    NTNP: April 2015 - June 2015
    M/C: June 2015
    TTC #1 since September 2015
    BFP: 11/9/15 - EDD: 7/24/16
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    my week FFFC: everyone one that comes up to my teller line today - with the exception of like 2 - i have silently screamed I hate you over and over in my head until their transaction was completed.  
    i so don't want to be here. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    @Nerdchild Yes!!! It's all about how they're raised. They can really be the sweetest dogs, when raised properly. That goes for any breed.

    Speaking of dog judgement - My mother is going to be the death of me. From the second she found out I was pregnant, she's been open about her "concerns" about our little Boston Terrier, and what he's "capable" of. Is he a bit hyper? Yes. Is he an anxious dog? Yes. Has he ever HURT anyone?! NO! We obviously plan to keep a good distance between him and the baby until we're certain he's accepted all the change. We're not stupid. She's currently at our house helping with a contractor appointment so we don't have to take off work. First message I get - Miles needs to be watched constantly. I asked why, and I get, The man tried to pet him from behind and he was nippy. Ok, idiot guy, how about you NOT come up to a dog you don't know from behind and try and pet him?!? She proceeded to text more about the precautions we need to take because she doesn't trust our dog. I was so irritated with her and the contractor. I told her not to worry about my dog, and just make sure the contractors have what they need and can get the job done. Ugh!! 
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    kellz14kellz14 member
    Also, BOO HISS on you if you don't update your registry once shit goes out of stock or disappears completely. I went to BRU with a plan and had to completely change it because NOTHING was in the damn store. I realize I am shopping at the last minute but if you want your stuff, help me out here.
    Haha, I agree - though I am keeping these out of stock newborn socks on my registry in the vain hope that they will somehow come back soon. Can they get any cuter?


    https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=68335916&product_skn=891010
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    Nerdchild said:
    Another FFFC: I think dog breed discrimination makes you a pretty shitty person. You don't get to give me a dirty look because my pitbull is staring silently out of an open window (no growling, barking, or whining) watching you potty your little lap dog. Not a single one of my three dogs are barking, they are all seatbelted into the car, your dog isn't even aware that my dogs are here. Take your dirty look and shove it. 
    Yessssss! I own Frenchies who technically shouldn't even be around anymore due to their inability to procreate, therefore I will be damned before I ever judge another person for their choice in dog breed. I have yet to meet an aggressive pit bull, big black mutt, or any other "scary" breed of dog. 
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    I still remember the day my mom cut all the nipples off my youngest brother's pacifiers. There was a lot of rage in the house that day. 

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    rnyland1 said:
    My FFFC is that my son turns 3 in October and I haven't done any potty training. My son hasn't really shown much/any interest in it. My H and I both work full time so I don't even know where to start :(
    My son is the same age and we aren't potty training yet. We tried for about a week and if he is naked he will go in the potty but wouldn't otherwise. He also cried and brought me diapers when I wouldn't put one on him. I'd rather not push it until I'm sure he's ready. 


    Our pediatrician (father of 4 boys) encouraged us saying boys aren't usually ready until 3.5ish, and also said if we were to potty train now he would probably regress at least a bit when the baby comes. 
    H. Foxe born October 22, 2013
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    We're doing an alternate/delayed vaccine schedule due to a potential allergy.  I'm scared people think we're making up the reason and DH and I are anti-vaccine.  
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 29 & Husband: 36                                                         
    Married: October 2014
    NTNP: April 2015 - June 2015
    M/C: June 2015
    TTC #1 since September 2015
    BFP: 11/9/15 - EDD: 7/24/16
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    FFFC: co-worker who slammed the mail in my inbox all pissy because I didn't feel well and left work early.....I'll do with my PTO as I please thank you very much...perhaps take Monday off too  :*
    jodi
    whitehall, pa
    every adventure requires a first step- C.C.

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    @AB34 I thought about that too -- that he might potentially regress a bit once the baby comes. My son absolutely hates his potty. A lot of people bug me about potty training (especially my mother). I think he's totally capable of doing it but he's too defiant at this time and just doesn't WANT to do it.

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    TM14TM14 member
    When I was 8 a black lab, my friends dog, tried to kill me. It attacked me,  but I didn't blame the dog. I blame her step dad who treated it poorly. To this day I never judge an animal by its breed! 
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    ^^^ I'm a big thank you note person, too, but whenever I do something for someone with a new baby, I always send along a note saying "NO THANK YOU NOTES, PLEASE! Spend the extra 10 minutes snuggling that baby!" 

    Because, eff that.
    That's awesome! I seriously felt like I spent my whole maternity leave writing thank-you's and running to the post office with my first. Not to complain about people wanting to bring us something nice, but it was one more thing on my to-do list I always felt like I was behind on. 

    I get pretty ticked when people don't send thank-you's for wedding presents though. I went on your registry, bought you a nice thing, had it shipped to your house, and have no idea if you ever received it... thanks. One person did literally send me one a year later though. 
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    kim1989kim1989 member
    rnyland1 said:
    My FFFC is that my son turns 3 in October and I haven't done any potty training. My son hasn't really shown much/any interest in it. My H and I both work full time so I don't even know where to start :(
    Our son is 3 in September and we haven't started training him yet. With DD we tried training her at 2 but she obviously wasn't ready yet, I feel like we pressured her too much and don't want to repeat that. Other people mentioned that we should start training her and we paid more attention to what we were 'supposed' to do instead of what felt right for us.
    DS has started tapping himself when he needs to be changed so we plan on training during the summer if he is ready for it. 
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    @givemepenguinss Super thoughtful, and I wouldn't feel bad taking you up on your recommendation, lol!! But if that isn't said, I feel like I better send one!!
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    megstervt said:
    We're doing an alternate/delayed vaccine schedule due to a potential allergy.  I'm scared people think we're making up the reason and DH and I are anti-vaccine.  
    That is a good reason just to not discuss it with people. My DD was on a alternate/delayed schedule, and the first couple of times it came up, people looked at me like I was anti-vaccine and that I was the next Jenny McCarthy. I finally just quit mentioning it. Its not that she isn't vaccinated, and I don't give two shits what Jenny McCarthy says, so they can shove it. 
    _____________________________________________
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    On the paci thing, my mom told my little sister that it was time to donate all her binks to babies that didn't have them. She quit cold bink turkey. I really don't know what I want to do about a paci. Any STM not use them at all and not had an issue?

    DH 30 Me 29
    Married May 16th 2015
    EDD July 1st 2016
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    megstervt said:
    We're doing an alternate/delayed vaccine schedule due to a potential allergy.  I'm scared people think we're making up the reason and DH and I are anti-vaccine.  
    That is a good reason just to not discuss it with people. My DD was on a alternate/delayed schedule, and the first couple of times it came up, people looked at me like I was anti-vaccine and that I was the next Jenny McCarthy. I finally just quit mentioning it. Its not that she isn't vaccinated, and I don't give two shits what Jenny McCarthy says, so they can shove it. 
    I never offer the information, but since I work with kids with Autism I get asked quite often if "we plan to vaccinate" or how I "feel about vaccines" and more often then not the follow-up is if we'll do it by the recommended schedule.  It feels weird to lie, but I'm starting to think I might going forward.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 29 & Husband: 36                                                         
    Married: October 2014
    NTNP: April 2015 - June 2015
    M/C: June 2015
    TTC #1 since September 2015
    BFP: 11/9/15 - EDD: 7/24/16
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    @DominiqueU No judgement from me either. My husband mentioned doing that!! We haven't acted on the thought yet, but definitely not judging anyone who has. 
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    On the paci thing, my mom told my little sister that it was time to donate all her binks to babies that didn't have them. She quit cold bink turkey. I really don't know what I want to do about a paci. Any STM not use them at all and not had an issue?
    I think that it is all a personal choice (and whether or not the baby will even take one - as some wont). Almost all of my nanny kids have had them, and zero had issues giving them up (but that was because their parents were consistent when it came time to get rid of them). I had one for DD. When she hit a year old, it become something that she only got for nap/bedtime, or if we were in a long car ride. She didn't get to walk around the house with it, or take it out in public, or any of that. When she hit 18mo, we slowly clipped off the nipple after a few nights, and she was over it.

    I remember getting my current nanny job and my boss was anti-pacifier. She went on and on about how it is so hard to get rid of it (she was a FTM, so she was basing this off of other people's experiences), how she thinks they are disgusting, and blah, blah, blah. She was saying all of this, while my DD was laying next to me napping....with a pacifier in her mouth. Well, the little boy is one of those kids that needs something to help sooth, and it was obvious when he was a baby. When he was 6mo, he started sucking his thumb because he didn't have the option of a pacifier, and now he is 3.5 and still sucking his thumb. I kind of laugh about it, because she was so anti-binky because it is "so hard to get rid of it" (yet how is she going to get rid of his thumb?), she "thinks they are disgusting" (but her son is slobbering all over his thumb all day and then touching everything and everyone with his soggy thumb). He would rather suck his thumb than play with toys or friends. His teeth are starting to curve. And the last time we took the kids to the dentist together, she grilled the dentist on what she should do about the thumb sucking and if there was a contraption that she could put on his hand, or if she could put a brace on his arm so he couldn't bend his elbow to suck his thumb, and the dentist even brought up the fact that there is a straight jacket thing that he could wear. But he sucks his thumb 24/7, and so he would have to wear it all of the time. 

    I kind of laugh about it, because she had so many negative comments about the pacifier (and my DD was a baby, so it isn't like she was 2+ years old with one), and yet here she is.....with a 3.5 who has a stinky-wrinkley-slobbery thumb, and there is nothing she can do about it. 
    _____________________________________________
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    @DominiqueU  I think the netflix idea is great!

    My husband and I set up our computers in the bedroom/baby room (I live in a very small 1br apartment right now) so we can be close to the baby and have a quiet activity to do together during downtime. :smile: 
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