Newborn Questions

LadySamLady

I saw a thread like this on the April BMB and thought it seemed like a good idea. A place for questions, to discuss issues, etc!

LadySamLady

My LO will not sleep in her bassinet or Rockaroo. She will only sleep on me or my H, but prefers me. I'd love to be able to put her down and it is so much safer for her at night. I never wanted to bed share and I stay up as much as I can while she sleeps on me in bed, but of course I do doze off occasionally. Any suggestions?

Sunshinebins

Our girls did this at first and I have no idea if it's coincidence or not but we just slowly started moving them once they fell asleep and it took a while, but eventually they got to a point that we could just put them in the rock n play to go to sleep.  They still obviously love to sleep on us, but we've been able to extend their stretches of sleep other places. 

mello13

DS was the same, and DD is too. Not that I don't love baby snuggles, but I need sleep too! I usually let him (and now her) fall asleep, then have DH help me move them to the bassinet/rock n play etc. Sometimes DD wakes up anyway. It helps to use a blanket when snuggling that then gets used as her Swaddle so it's already warm. Other than that I don't have any brilliant ideas. I will say that personally with DD ha plays a role, so it helps to get a few good burps before letting her doze or trying to move her, otherwise she will wake and cry/spit up. 

kbrands7

DS did the sleeping thing too. Once he was older and I went back to work, it progressed to a separation anxiety along with reverse cycling eating and he and I set up a safe bedshare on the floor of his nursery. While he was little, I was able to move him off of me and keep him asleep by laying a heating pad down on his PNP for a few minutes to warm it up  (not hot and take it out before you put LO in), swaddling him with arms out in something that smelled like me (shove a swaddle in your shirt for a bit, or use a tshirt you've worn), and having the PNP in arm's reach of my bedside so that I could touch him when he started stirring. Once he was busting out of swaddles, I'd put the crib sheet in my shirt for a bit during the day before putting it on the mattress to transfer scent. If she likes to comfort suck from you while sleeping, try to break the latch once she's clearly asleep and not actually eating.  I increased waking touch time too-- we tried to make it so that if he was awake, he had full attention and if he was asleep, he was put down. He's finally a great sleeper at night by 2yrs, but it took a while because he has a stubborn, cuddly, and sensitive disposition. 

missnc77

We just did our first night at home. I had a wicker bassinet intended for her to sleep in, but we switched to the glider with a bassinet insert my mom got us after about an hour of us trying to sleep because it has a rock feature. We didn't want her to rock all night, but if she moved at all with it turned off, she'd make it rock a little. She seemed to do a lot better with it than the wicker bassinet. We also took the advice I read on here around her 3am/4am wake up feeding and changed her diaper before feeding. Then when she was done and sleeping like a rock, I let her lay for a minute or two with me to see if she needed to burp, and then finally, my husband and I called it and put her back in the bassinet. She did a lot better with that order in going back to the bassinet/glider without wanting to come back out. I think changing her diaper post feed and reswaddling was waking her back up too much. But, I think most of this is just luck. We totally suck at the burping and getting the gas out of her system before laying her back down, and that usually wakes her up and turns a nightly feeding into a 2 hour ordeal.

https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=69139586&camp=PLAPPCG-_-PID21975271:BRUS&cagpspn=plab_21975271&eESource=CAPLA_DF:69139586:TRUS

She did keep busting out of her swaddle last night, so I think my husband may do a target or babysrus run today for a couple of sleep sacks to see if that helps. There seem to be so many different things to try out there, that I'm taking the approach that if it's not working, then let's just try something else.

Bellodomani

Won't actually have my baby until tomorrow, but I'm super nervous about these issues. My son was seriously the easiest newborn of all time (toddler behavior, now that's a different story). All we ever had to do with him was swaddle and white noise and he went to bed in his own bassinet at like 8:00 pm the first night home from the hospital and never had a single issue. He seemed to actually prefer being laid down then to being held or snuggled, so I feel like I learned absolutely zero soothing techniques and will be starting from scratch with this one!

businessmama

DS always has a dirty diaper halfway through a night time feeding so I usually use that as an opportunity to switch sides to see if he is still hungry. 

However, he hates every single swaddle we have tried except blankets, but no matter how hard I practice, he breaks loose and I wake up freaking out because I see the blanket has come up to cover his face so I refuse to keep trying. 

He only sleeps in his bassinet during day naps, but refuses at night, where he insists on sleeping on chest. What is the difference in rock and play and the bassinet? That it rocks? How long? We are looking at switching... My DH and I have slept in seperate rooms for a week so the other person can get sleep while the other person watches DS since he gets fussy. :-(

JoMunson

Granted, I'm only a 4 day old mom, but my guy busts out of swaddled too! Especially since he likes having his hands out. What has worked for us is something I call the crunchy roll, where I put him cheek to top of my boob and then scrunch up his legs almost to his chest and gently rock him there. Sometimes I'll throw a blanket on top of him. It gives him that same swaddle sensation without the swaddle.

Sunshinebins

Yeah the swaddled do help too! But like everyone else, we have a Houdini who can break out. Our little one has a zipped swaddle, but our bigger girl is too big for it. ive seen tons of swaddles on Amazon so I may try a few of those. The summer infant ones haven't worked for us. 

Bltbear82

@AliciaD39 maybe try a sleeper with built in mitts and swaddling with the arms free. DS2 hates a full swaddle but arms out means he's not spending the night trying to break free but also the blanket is safely secured. 

ayeshaohara

We had the same issue too. We are using a sleep sack currently with her arms free and she seems to really like it. Also we had a Moses basket style bassinet and she wouldn't sleep in it. Slept with me for the first 10 days. But she would nap in it just fine. Then we switched up the Moses basket for the bassinet that comes with our stroller which has a firmer base...she slept just fine in it! So maybe trying a different bassinet could work. You can't sleep properly with baby on your chest...momma needs her rest too! 

businessmama

I've tried the sleep sack letting the arms free, but he still won't sleep. Im wondering if I'm just putting him down at the wrong time... We do a bath, nurse, diaper, nurse again and he falls asleep on me so I put him down. Then he wakes up. Blah. 

ayeshaohara

AliciaD39 said:

I've tried the sleep sack letting the arms free, but he still won't sleep. Im wondering if I'm just putting him down at the wrong time... We do a bath, nurse, diaper, nurse again and he falls asleep on me so I put him down. Then he wakes up. Blah. 

We don't have a bedtime. It's too early for routine. I take her to bed when I go to bed! Sometimes she'll be awake when I put her down but eventually she will fall asleep. Try not letting him fall asleep on you or wait until he's in a really really deep sleep before you do??  

businessmama

@ayeshaohara when you put your daughter down if she isn't sleepy, does she get fussy and cry? Do you pick her up or does she self soothe and go to sleep? 

kbrands7

@AliciaD39 some babies naturally are okay with being put down sleepy but awake (my DS2 is) and some aren't  (DS was not). If he just fusses a bit, try keeping a hand on his belly and talking, rhythmic shushing, or singing to him. If it's full freak-out mode, I wouldn't push it yet. If he isn't okay with it, it may take until around 4mo when babies have the capacity to learn self soothing behaviors that you can start getting him down without him being fully asleep or without a huge fuss. 

LadySamLady

@AliciaD39 my LO is the same way. She cries and fusses even if she is in a deep sleep when we put her down. We're just trying to put her in the bassinet once a night and hope she will get more comfortable and stay in it longer and longer. She's been cluster feeding most nights anyway and keeping her with me seems best for my sanity right now. So no advice just commiserating!! 

businessmama

Thanks ladies! Right now I'm doing okay since DH will hold him after first feed and morning feed so he is getting 6 hours rest in the middle. Hopefully we figure it out before he goes back to work!

ayeshaohara

AliciaD39 said:

@ayeshaohara when you put your daughter down if she isn't sleepy, does she get fussy and cry? Do you pick her up or does she self soothe and go to sleep? 

She makes a lot of noises if she isn't asleep. Sometimes she hates it and I'll put her in bed with me if she starts crying and then she usually falls asleep. It's survival mode...I do whatever I need to, to keep us both happy. I'm doing a lot of the things kbrands suggested to you as well. I always like to see if she will soothe herself first or if having my hand close by is enough. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I always remind myself, she's an infant, she wants what makes her comfortable and that's mom! You can't "spoil" them with too much love and attention at this age...so if she wants to cuddle...go for it. But if you want to bed share, don't keep him on your chest, get him used to being on the bed next to you, close enough that he's still soothed by your presence and you can sleep comfortably

businessmama

Well sh*t. I was doing the chest sleeping lol

mello13

I would say also, at this age they don't need a bath daily, and most hate it, so that might be getting him worked up and making things worse (only mom can calm him then). So eliminating that would probably help. I'd suggest changing the diaper when he wakes, THEN feeding, then putting him to bed after burps and light dozing. That's our system every single time (with on demand feeding). Maybe that will help. 

businessmama

mello13 said:

I would say also, at this age they don't need a bath daily, and most hate it, so that might be getting him worked up and making things worse (only mom can calm him then). So eliminating that would probably help. I'd suggest changing the diaper when he wakes, THEN feeding, then putting him to bed after burps and light dozing. That's our system every single time (with on demand feeding). Maybe that will help. 

I think you are right on the bath. However the diaper has to be changed because I have the wonderful son who comes with sound effects each nursing session that ends with a huge dirty diaper :-)

lalala2004

With the diaper changing, we try to wait until he is slightly fussy, change his diaper, nurse, then sleep. Generally he eats from both sides then sleeps for a longer stretch, so we try to change his diaper between those two feedings. It's not always easy to figure it out, but we're getting there.

He tends to be calm whether we put him down asleep, sleepy or awake, but he had been sleeping on my husband's chest some as we try to figure out how to dress him for body temperature regulation. Essentially my husband and I are taking turns sleeping. He will be content in his bassinet, start to fuss, and I realized he was a bit chilled. This is with a swaddler on with one arm out. I guess he needs at least a onesie on as well. Any ideas about that would be appreciated. 

katxattack1212

My daughter was super easy, too. Wake, change, feed, back to sleep in her bassinet. At 6 weeks this baby not only slept through the night, but in her crib.  Now, at nearly 5, she does not like going to bed and fights us for up to two hours before she exhausts herself. I would much rather have the fussy infant vs fussy 5 year old! 

Let's see what we will get this time!

kbrands7

@lalala2004 what works well temperature wise for us is a cotton footed sleeper, cotton hat, and muslin swaddle with his arms out. We keep our house around 69F at night this time of year. It's definitely safer to be slightly cool than too hot, so it may take some experimenting to select what works best for you. 

ayeshaohara

kbrands7 said:

@lalala2004 what works well temperature wise for us is a cotton footed sleeper, cotton hat, and muslin swaddle with his arms out. We keep our house around 69F at night this time of year. It's definitely safer to be slightly cool than too hot, so it may take some experimenting to select what works best for you. 

We do the same thing minus the hat. And use a sleep sack now instead of the muslin swaddle. Seems to work well. But totally agree, it's taken us almost 2 weeks to get this right. As a FTM all I can say is follow your instincts, they're usually right. If they feel hot, they're likely overdressed. Oh and do not listen to your mothers when they tell you to put more clothes or covers on the baby...both my mother and MIL have ended up overheating the poor kid. They're obsessed with keeping them super warm. Must be a generational thing!!! 

mello13

@lalala2004 We typically do a onsie and socks, light receiving blanket and the muslin swaddle to wrap her up (arms out, but shoulders still have swaddle to avoid the chill). Our house is around 75 (a/c) plus we have two fans in the room (ceiling fan, which cools DH and I in bed, and an oscillating fan on DD's side to cut SIDS risk. I am hyper paranoid about SIDS). I agree with PP that it's definitely better to error on the side of too cool just for safety reasons. You could try a long sleeve onsie and swaddle to see if that works. 

lalala2004

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. I'll keep experimenting. If he is content in his bassinet, we need to take advantage of it! I'm also obsessive about the fans which is why it's a little cool in the house. Definitely don't want him too hot either.

@ayeshaohara my mom looks back and laughs at how crazy bundled up they brought me home from the hospital. I was born at the end of August. In Texas. It's hot as hell that time of year  

tripledaggerWed95976

We are really struggling over here,  for the last few days my 3 week old gets SO fussy all night long.  There's nothing we can do to stop it, we change him, feed him, hold him... But he just makes these noises all night.  They're like really loud grunting m, it sounds like he's struggling but I don't know what is wrong.  I'm thinking maybe acid reflux...I have no idea though

lalala2004

@tripledaggerWed95976 do you burp him after every feeding or try when he fusses? Sometimes I forget and that's why he is fussy for me.

Bltbear82

@tripledaggerWed95976 I have noticed DS2 is fussier and has terrible gas in the evenings. If the baby is grunting and kicking legs it could definitely be gas. I've used gripe water with both kids in very small doses. Not a lot of pediatricians think it works as its a more natural reliever, but I've always found it helpful versus going straight to gas drops. Maybe ask yours about it and see if they're ok with trying it if you're interested. Also if it is acid reflux the Rock and play is supposed to be great with the incline. 

togmama

Rock and Play is a freaking miracle. My baby sleeps right through to the next feeding where I have to wake him up! (Bad mom note: sometimes I let it go 3.5 hours because the sleep is just so good). 

I have another question, hubby thinks I'm crazy and he's fine but.... My baby never wakes on his own or whines to feed, I am pretty strict to waking him to feed every three hours but is it normal he never has "demand feeds" he's teeny (6lb6oz).

also any breastfeeding advice on how to get his weight up besides feeding every 3 hours?

kbrands7

@youngmama514 besides feeding every 2-3 hrs, feed at least 20min on a side/drain down a side before switching so that baby gets plenty of hindmilk. 

JessicaB0627

@youngmama514 DD was really little, born 6lb 2oz and got down to 5lb 10oz, and she was jaundice so we had to wake her to feed every 2 hours in the beginning. The pediatrician said once her jaundice was better and she was back to her birth weight that we could just feed on demand. I would definitely suggest talking to his doctor about what they suggest! 

emma+karen

youngmama514 said:

Rock and Play is a freaking miracle. My baby sleeps right through to the next feeding where I have to wake him up! (Bad mom note: sometimes I let it go 3.5 hours because the sleep is just so good). 

I have another question, hubby thinks I'm crazy and he's fine but.... My baby never wakes on his own or whines to feed, I am pretty strict to waking him to feed every three hours but is it normal he never has "demand feeds" he's teeny (6lb6oz).

also any breastfeeding advice on how to get his weight up besides feeding every 3 hours?

I have no experience with this myself, as DS was up every couple hours as a newborn, but my mom swears I slept through the night from day 1 and they always had to wake me up to feed.  I turned out okay, I guess. 

TXmamatobe

DD was also one that we would have to set timers and wake her up to feed. I worried so much at the beginning but I received the same advice from the doctor - once she was above birth weight and gaining consistently, we could move to feeding on demand. 

tripledaggerWed95976

lalala2004 said:

@tripledaggerWed95976 do you burp him after every feeding or try when he fusses? Sometimes I forget and that's why he is fussy for me.

I do, but sometimes I think I'm not doing it right because he rarely burps 

tripledaggerWed95976

Bltbear82 said:

@tripledaggerWed95976 I have noticed DS2 is fussier and has terrible gas in the evenings. If the baby is grunting and kicking legs it could definitely be gas. I've used gripe water with both kids in very small doses. Not a lot of pediatricians think it works as its a more natural reliever, but I've always found it helpful versus going straight to gas drops. Maybe ask yours about it and see if they're ok with trying it if you're interested. Also if it is acid reflux the Rock and play is supposed to be great with the incline. 

I'm definitely going to Ask about thAt because I've noticed his stomach gets really distended after feedings

LadySamLady

tripledaggerWed95976 said:

lalala2004 said:

@tripledaggerWed95976 do you burp him after every feeding or try when he fusses? Sometimes I forget and that's why he is fussy for me.

I do, but sometimes I think I'm not doing it right because he rarely burps 

I feel the same way about burping! My pediatrician told me that it is normal to have less burps if you are EBF but I still feel like we're not doing it right. 

Bltbear82

LadySamLady said:

tripledaggerWed95976 said:

lalala2004 said:

@tripledaggerWed95976 do you burp him after every feeding or try when he fusses? Sometimes I forget and that's why he is fussy for me.

I do, but sometimes I think I'm not doing it right because he rarely burps 

I feel the same way about burping! My pediatrician told me that it is normal to have less burps if you are EBF but I still feel like we're not doing it right. 

My SIL's babies were all NICU babies and they showed her the way they burp. It's hard to explain but this video is a good example, I've found it usually does the trick if it's stubborn gas. Just make sure their head is properly supported and it is pretty effective in my experience. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6boVy5aF4kg

kbrands7

LadySamLady said:

tripledaggerWed95976 said:

lalala2004 said:

@tripledaggerWed95976 do you burp him after every feeding or try when he fusses? Sometimes I forget and that's why he is fussy for me.

I do, but sometimes I think I'm not doing it right because he rarely burps 

I feel the same way about burping! My pediatrician told me that it is normal to have less burps if you are EBF but I still feel like we're not doing it right. 

Both of mine have more or less burped themselves when ebf; they just pop off,  burp, and go back to it. I nurse them in a fairly upright position though, which helps. The method @Bltbear82 posted is awesome for when they need help to burp!