lovelylauren86 earplugs have made their way into our monthly budget as I use them every single night. DH snores really loud so I could never get a full night's sleep. Now I get to sleep through the snoring but the problem is I'll have to transition to being able to sleep without them when baby comes.
@lovelylauren86 -- I hear ya on that one! My DH gives me a hard time about snoring, so I recorded him a couple of times. He practically brings the house down. I "nudge" him until he rolls over. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, I often move to the couch.
@ah825 -- dad's say the darnedest things! How did you respond? I would have been speechless.
My dad told me he thinks I'm having a girl because I have back fat and love handles.
That's killer! Although I am def more large this time around (with a girl) compared to my pregnancy w DS. I've had many people tell me I look 8 mos along. Gee thanks.
@Ah825 dads say the worst things! When my sister was pregnant she had really bad ms and lost almost 20 lbs. My dad said "too bad you couldn't have lost that weight before you got pregnant!" wha???? And with my 2nd pregnancy he keeps commenting on my appearance by saying "Wow, well, you look... pregnant." Im huge this time around. Why even comment? Just say hi!
My mom lectured me yesterday because she think I'm not excited enough for this baby. I told her that husband felt the baby on the outside for the first time on Wednesday and she asked me if I was feeling the baby move inside. Yes mom, for like a month. Which was followed by "why didn't you tell me? why don't you want me to know things?" Etc etc. she then asks me if I cried the first time I felt him move and when I said no she went off on me not being excited and if I was just going through the motions but I was sad because it's a boy. Ugh. I was disappointed for one day, do I still want a little girl one day? Yes. But I am so happy to have this little boy because I always wanted a big brother. She also brought up as a reminder of how sad I got every month each time I did not get a positive pee test. She wants to be included in things but this is her response to anything baby related. Just because my emotional response to things is different to hers, does not mean im not excited or don't want this baby
luckily for my dad he is like my best friend and I'm a complete daddy's girl so I was like dad, stop right there! My mom was like dean! (His name) and he was so embarrassed he was laughing nervously and looking at my husband for help and I'm like don't you dare look at my husband to back you up!! I told him he now had to buy me new bigger bras that don't squeeze my "back fat" and a bassinet. In addition to more gifts at my shower. He has some making up to do!! Lol. My mom said he called her butt "dumpy" after giving birth. When will this man learn!???
Husband is working OT today and it's raining, again. It's been raining forever. Going to tackle some organization projects that I've been needing to do. Which with a three year old helping should be super easy.
@lovelylauren86 I feel your pain. DH had a cold a few weeks back and was snoring like no other for a few nights. I was trapped in between feeling bad for him and smothering him with a pillow.
I am deeply regretting my night of large pizza independence. I had the worst heartburn imaginable all night long.
Ladies - I am in a glorious mood today and need to share! I slept like a baby last night, didn't have to pee once in the middle of the night!
Fiancé and I had great sex this morning, then I left to go shopping..alone I bought some summer maternity clothes and decided to get a pedicure. The massaging chair is AWESOME for my poor sore back.
Is it to much to ask that the rest of the day stays just as great as my morning?!
@marikkita12 I'm sorry about your mom's comment. You're totally right in saying that just because you don't react the way others do, doesn't mean you're not excited. I didn't cry when I felt baby the first time. I was excited and texted DH right away but no one else in the world would have known how exciting it was for me because I didn't go calling my parents or shouting it from the rooftops! I am so happy and excited about this baby but I'm pregnant every single minute of the day (and have been for five months), I'm not going to be rubbing my belly and talking about the wonderment of making life 24/7.
@marikkita12 my mom is the same way and it drives me crazy!!!! Currently she is going through menopause and has made her even more emotional. I tell her she has enough emotions for all of us. Truthfully I very rarely cry about anything, my mom calls me "heartless" I tell her I am logical. Being excited or happy does not make everyone cry and it doesn't mean someone is more or less excited.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
I woke up bummed today bc I don't think DH has anything planned for Mother's Day. Even with my subtle hints of wanting stackable birthstone rings for the boys and my need to get my nails done. He left for work early this am so I just worked outside in my garden with LO for a while till he got sleepy enough for nap. Put him down, made the banana bread I've been craving for weeks and now I'm catching up on Fear the Walking Dead and eating cookies. Day fixed
Well I spent my whole entire Saturday proctoring the SATs. Never again. People have been gone for over 3 hours now and I am still here with the last kid who's taking the test. Did I mention we are all getting paid the same? So not fair.
We went to the greenhouse and picked out a mother's day plant for me. Then during little ones nap I installed the shades and valances I made for the nursery. Husband left for work, we played outside now watching a little netflix life is good
We got our crib today! I'm so excited. It's not put together yet, but I'm so happy that we have it. It's a very simple white one, so now I'm super excited to go through the guest room (where the nursery will be) and get rid of stuff, so we can start setting a few things up.
@AnnaS930 we went to the nursery for plants today too! But more for DH lol, he has the green thumb in this family!
@izzetoot that sounds like a glorious day.. Banana bread sounds so good right now! With chocolate chips.. Mmmmmm...
@MojieJo I despise bananas and everything associated with them. I work in a coffee shop and on Saturdays we have Banana bread. Every time I open the pastry case I get a giant whiff of bananas and it turns my stomach. I will never understand why people go crazy for bananas.... The pizza thing though, you're on your own there crazy lady!
@Ah825 My dad would never make a comment about my body because he hardly talks at all. Haha. But an old co-worker told me my first was a girl because I was "getting wide". (She was right, but that is beside the point.) It's been said before, but it should be a rule to never, ever mention anything about a pregnant woman's body.
@marikkita12 I'm sorry your mom is being that way. FWIW, I did not cry when I felt either of my babies move for the first time. And I think it's a little weird that anyone would expect you to. Is it cool and exciting and an amazing feeling? Sure, but it doesn't evoke even the thought of a tear from me.
@geminigirl16 That sounds like the best day ever to me.
I think I'm the only person I've ever met, aside from my mom, who hates pizza. I was a social pariah growing up because of it. What kid doesn't love a pizza party?! This one, apparently.
I've always been a little weird when it comes to popular foods, though. I'm not that crazy about chocolate, either. Or cake, ice cream, donuts (I like a good, fresh glazed donut on occasion, but that's it) or peanut butter (I hate it and all other forms of nuts).
I'll eat almost all of them every now and then (though I have to be in the mood for cake, I'll only eat PB in combination with chocolate, weirdly enough and nuts are just off the table entirely), but could happily live without any of them. I definitely didn't inherit my mom's sweet tooth!
Warning in advance for long post and TW for alcoholism. TIA for those who bear with me.
I came in town yesterday for Mother's Day and by 4:30 my mom was already quite drunk. This is business as usual for her as she has refused to admit her problem for the past 12 years and my dad is an enabler. Between the time I got there and the time she passed out, I only saw her about 30 minutes. Today, while I was out for brunch, something apparently clicked for my mom and she admitted she needed and wanted help. She and my dad have been at the hospital all day, since her BAC was already too high (or still from yesterday?) to be admitted to a clinic yet. They will be back sometime tonight to pick up clothes so she can check in for a 5 day stay.
Honestly, I'm not really sure how I'm feeling about it all. Obviously, the fact she asked for help is amazing and necessary for recovery to start, but it still isn't a happy moment. I know this means her whole life is going to be upended. Most of her social life revolves around drinking. It's going to be so hard for her and us in the next few months, and I feel guilty for being nervous about how I'll handle it. This throws so much chaos into the last months of pregnancy, and I feel like I'm being selfish for thinking sit it that way. I'm so so proud of her for taking this step, but it's scary.
@jabreen wishing you and your family well during this tough time and what I hope will be a path to recovery for your mom. It's totally understandable that you are struggling with how to feel. Do you know much about al-anon? I don't, but wonder if that might be a resource for you.
That's actually not even a full list of things I don't like to eat. I sound like a picky eater, but I'm actually pretty adventurous and easy to please. I just doesn't like a fair number of "normal" things. I know that must sound contradictory, but somehow it's true.
I'm not sure why I don't like pizza, really. I guess it's a combination of not being a big fan of tomato sauce (I've only started eating it as an adult and I still don't generally care for it) and not liking pizza crust (I love all sorts of bread, though, including flatbread). It's too greasy and I don't like the textures and flavor combinations. My mom never could get me to eat pizza. It led to all sorts of problems at my friends' birthday parties.
@Jabreen - I'm really happy to hear that she is going to be getting help but I'm also sorry that you and your family are going through this.
I can relate. My brother is an alcoholic and it's been extremely hard, not only for him, but for our whole family. While I do believe that much of the reason for his issues stem from being a Vet and having done a tour in Afghanistan, I'm still angry with him in addition to being supportive and it's something that I struggle with all the time. It really does effect everyone around that person.
Stay strong. The first step is admission. My brother's saving grace is that, even though we've all been hurt by his drinking (in addition to the pain he's caused himself), my family has been extremely supportive and helped in any way possible. I truly believe that family support will take your mom a long way and make all the difference. Please remember though, it's understandable for you to be hurt and scared. It's a big step for your whole family!
Beat wishes to you all! Please reach out if you need anything.
@Jabreen I'm sorry you're going through this! My father is and always has been a huge alcoholic. I give your mom a lot of credit taking this big step but I know that it's a difficult journey for everyone. DHs mom is a recovering alcoholic (3 years sober) and it has been amazing to see her bond with our son. Additionally, we wouldn't have been able to count on her for babysitting at all if she was still drinking. Consider it a safer zone for your little one to be around as she overcomes her addiction. Good luck and feel free to come here for support at any time
@jabreen I'm just seeing this now, but wanted to say that I'm sorry you and your family are going through this, especially right now. I'm so glad to see that your mom decided she needed help, though. She's got a long, hard road ahead of her, but if she's committed to this, she can do it.
I know that must put you in a difficult position, though. She needs you to support her, but you also have yourself and your little one to look after. I don't have the magic words to make that better; all I can do is encourage you to do your best to find the balance between taking care of your needs and supporting her as best you can.
It's not wrong for you to be angry with her or to resent her behavior or what she's putting/has put you through. Recovery is a process for everyone close to an alcoholic, not just for them, and it's not easy. Therapy or some sort of group support like Al-Anon (they offer support to families of alcoholics as well as the addicts themselves) could be a big help to the both of you right now. It helps to have a safe place to get your feelings out.
On a personal note, alcoholism runs rampant in my family (luckily, my mom doesn't drink and my dad only does on rare occasions), but four of my five grandparents--I have a step-grandmother, hence the five--were alcoholics, along with multiple other relatives, and my brother drinks more than he should.
My mom grew up with a father who had a severe addiction and made his children's lives a living hell (it's a wonder they all survived, with the stupid, dangerous things he put them through on a daily basis) and I know how incredibly hard it was on her. She came through it a much stronger person, though. I never really knew him, since he died from issues related to his addiction when I was a very young baby, and while I'm thankful that I didn't have to be exposed to his addiction and the pain it caused, like I did with my other grandparents, I still miss him and wish that I'd had him in my life. He cheated both of us out of the relationship we could have had and that's something that can never be fixed.
What I'm trying to say is that hopefully your mom can make the recovery he never did so that she can be a part of your life and her grandchild's life in a healthy way.
@Jabreen I got sober just over four years ago. I admitted I had a problem, went to treatment and haven't looked back. Yeah, my social life changed. A lot. But, I am so much healthier and happier now.
It will be hard for your mom, but the fact that SHE wants help, an no one is making her, is a really good sign.
Hopefully, she'll get set up with a good AA group, a sponsor, and will be on track in no time.
I wish you peace and serenity through this difficult journey, and I hope your mom finds her peace too. What an amazing Mother's Day present she is giving you. Hopefully, she will be able to be there for you and your new baby as she rediscovers her sober self.
@pilotswifey Congratulations on your sobriety! I know it doesn't mean much coming from an internet stranger, but I'm glad you were able to turn your life around. I admire the strength it takes to make that kind of massive change.
@Jabreen --that sounds so hard! But, as others have already said, I'm so glad she reached a point where she was ready to get help! I think it's totally okay for you to feel a bit conflicted about what this means for the final months of your pregnancy--that was one of the first things that flashed through my mind too as I read your story. But I think, as others have also said, this will be so good for her, for your dad, for you, for your baby in the long run... Hang in there and I hope you can get some rest and relaxation in tomorrow...
@Jabreen I'm so sorry for what your family has to go through but know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, considering she is seeking help. My dad has always been an alcoholic and was in and out of treatment for as long as I can remember. It got really bad when he was essentially forced into retirement due to his company moving and his years with them while my mom was still at work. It got to the point that she had to keep his keys because he couldn't be trusted to be safe for the sake of others. Even now that she's retired too, she pretty much controls his life in the sense of keeping the keys and they do everything together. It sucks it had to come to that but he is a much better person sober and my son is super close with him. I think now that he's been forced to be sober he realizes how much better his relationships are, but I'd be lying if I said I trust giving him full control back. At any rate, I know and understand all the feelings. Hugs! Feel free to pm if you want to talk more.
Sometimes I think I'm the only person in the world who hates banana bread.
But, then again, I'm apparently not human since I don't like pizza, either.
I freaking HATE bananas- but I accidentally bought banana bread english muffins the other day because I was in a rush and thought they were plain multigrain (bastards were hiding amongst normal ones). Luckily DH likes bananas... but I could smell them all day, which usually makes me gag... but they smelled good to me. I broke down and tried one with butter and peanut butter... and I liked it. I'm freaking broken! WTH?? Bananas always make me want to yak- even the smell of them!!! I'm too afraid to try a real banana... what if I like it now? Everything I know is a lie lol!
@Jabreen I just want to say that I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this. While yes, it is a positive thing that she is going into treatment, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with right now. Try to stay strong and look towards the future and the better relationship that she will hopefully be able to have with you and your children. I'm happy she took that step -- I think that takes a lot of courage to do so. My father was an alcoholic and he was never able to take that step, never able to repair what he had lost, and he wasn't in my life because of it. I hope that you guys are able to work on your relationship as she works on her own health and stability during this time! *big hugs*
Re: May Randoms Thread
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
@ah825 -- dad's say the darnedest things! How did you respond? I would have been speechless.
My coworker told me the other day that I would look like a whale by the end.
Some people should think before speaking.
She wants to be included in things but this is her response to anything baby related. Just because my emotional response to things is different to hers, does not mean im not excited or don't want this baby
sorry for giant post
I am deeply regretting my night of large pizza independence. I had the worst heartburn imaginable all night long.
Fiancé and I had great sex this morning, then I left to go shopping..alone
Is it to much to ask that the rest of the day stays just as great as my morning?!
Wishing you all equally wonderful days!
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@AnnaS930 we went to the nursery for plants today too! But more for DH lol, he has the green thumb in this family!
@izzetoot that sounds like a glorious day.. Banana bread sounds so good right now! With chocolate chips.. Mmmmmm...
But, then again, I'm apparently not human since I don't like pizza, either.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
@marikkita12 I'm sorry your mom is being that way. FWIW, I did not cry when I felt either of my babies move for the first time. And I think it's a little weird that anyone would expect you to. Is it cool and exciting and an amazing feeling? Sure, but it doesn't evoke even the thought of a tear from me.
@geminigirl16 That sounds like the best day ever to me.
I think I'm the only person I've ever met, aside from my mom, who hates pizza. I was a social pariah growing up because of it. What kid doesn't love a pizza party?! This one, apparently.
I've always been a little weird when it comes to popular foods, though. I'm not that crazy about chocolate, either. Or cake, ice cream, donuts (I like a good, fresh glazed donut on occasion, but that's it) or peanut butter (I hate it and all other forms of nuts).
I'll eat almost all of them every now and then (though I have to be in the mood for cake, I'll only eat PB in combination with chocolate, weirdly enough and nuts are just off the table entirely), but could happily live without any of them. I definitely didn't inherit my mom's sweet tooth!
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
I came in town yesterday for Mother's Day and by 4:30 my mom was already quite drunk. This is business as usual for her as she has refused to admit her problem for the past 12 years and my dad is an enabler. Between the time I got there and the time she passed out, I only saw her about 30 minutes. Today, while I was out for brunch, something apparently clicked for my mom and she admitted she needed and wanted help. She and my dad have been at the hospital all day, since her BAC was already too high (or still from yesterday?) to be admitted to a clinic yet. They will be back sometime tonight to pick up clothes so she can check in for a 5 day stay.
Honestly, I'm not really sure how I'm feeling about it all. Obviously, the fact she asked for help is amazing and necessary for recovery to start, but it still isn't a happy moment. I know this means her whole life is going to be upended. Most of her social life revolves around drinking. It's going to be so hard for her and us in the next few months, and I feel guilty for being nervous about how I'll handle it. This throws so much chaos into the last months of pregnancy, and I feel like I'm being selfish for thinking sit it that way. I'm so so proud of her for taking this step, but it's scary.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
Sh*t, I eat everything. Especially now.
That's actually not even a full list of things I don't like to eat. I sound like a picky eater, but I'm actually pretty adventurous and easy to please. I just doesn't like a fair number of "normal" things. I know that must sound contradictory, but somehow it's true.
I'm not sure why I don't like pizza, really. I guess it's a combination of not being a big fan of tomato sauce (I've only started eating it as an adult and I still don't generally care for it) and not liking pizza crust (I love all sorts of bread, though, including flatbread). It's too greasy and I don't like the textures and flavor combinations. My mom never could get me to eat pizza. It led to all sorts of problems at my friends' birthday parties.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
I can relate. My brother is an alcoholic and it's been extremely hard, not only for him, but for our whole family. While I do believe that much of the reason for his issues stem from being a Vet and having done a tour in Afghanistan, I'm still angry with him in addition to being supportive and it's something that I struggle with all the time. It really does effect everyone around that person.
Stay strong. The first step is admission. My brother's saving grace is that, even though we've all been hurt by his drinking (in addition to the pain he's caused himself), my family has been extremely supportive and helped in any way possible. I truly believe that family support will take your mom a long way and make all the difference. Please remember though, it's understandable for you to be hurt and scared. It's a big step for your whole family!
Beat wishes to you all! Please reach out if you need anything.
Good luck and feel free to come here for support at any time
I know that must put you in a difficult position, though. She needs you to support her, but you also have yourself and your little one to look after. I don't have the magic words to make that better; all I can do is encourage you to do your best to find the balance between taking care of your needs and supporting her as best you can.
It's not wrong for you to be angry with her or to resent her behavior or what she's putting/has put you through. Recovery is a process for everyone close to an alcoholic, not just for them, and it's not easy. Therapy or some sort of group support like Al-Anon (they offer support to families of alcoholics as well as the addicts themselves) could be a big help to the both of you right now. It helps to have a safe place to get your feelings out.
On a personal note, alcoholism runs rampant in my family (luckily, my mom doesn't drink and my dad only does on rare occasions), but four of my five grandparents--I have a step-grandmother, hence the five--were alcoholics, along with multiple other relatives, and my brother drinks more than he should.
My mom grew up with a father who had a severe addiction and made his children's lives a living hell (it's a wonder they all survived, with the stupid, dangerous things he put them through on a daily basis) and I know how incredibly hard it was on her. She came through it a much stronger person, though. I never really knew him, since he died from issues related to his addiction when I was a very young baby, and while I'm thankful that I didn't have to be exposed to his addiction and the pain it caused, like I did with my other grandparents, I still miss him and wish that I'd had him in my life. He cheated both of us out of the relationship we could have had and that's something that can never be fixed.
What I'm trying to say is that hopefully your mom can make the recovery he never did so that she can be a part of your life and her grandchild's life in a healthy way.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
It will be hard for your mom, but the fact that SHE wants help, an no one is making her, is a really good sign.
Hopefully, she'll get set up with a good AA group, a sponsor, and will be on track in no time.
I wish you peace and serenity through this difficult journey, and I hope your mom finds her peace too. What an amazing Mother's Day present she is giving you. Hopefully, she will be able to be there for you and your new baby as she rediscovers her sober self.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d